Topic : 03/24 Moms Money Conflicts

 seriuosly get over yourself if you think that that woman had a pipe dream. Maybe she needed to more experience and exucation but I think her product was pretty kewl. I would have bought one. Laughing at someones hard work is hardly a nice thing. Her husband supported her because he loved her. She worked hard too. Look at all the product that she made. At least she doesn't shop at Macy's all day and spend 1,000s of dollar on her hair nails and outfits. She seemed very hard working to me. I think she had a great dream even if she didn't get as much as Bill Gates success is success and that is what she was after.
If you took a moment to have some empathy you would not have room to laugh.

 Hey girl. You really need that support and you have to get it from him no matter what it is his responsibility. I know I am disabled only making 580 a month and I pay child support 240.00 a month garnished from my social security check. If I can pay 240 a month for one kid you can get a lot more.
GO to this website and get your support. I tell you he wont like it but hey he helped make them didn't he.
www.supportkids.com

You resent what?   I cannot comment on people that I do not know what they do in "their own life", that is why my statement ended with a question mark......... 

  

I have witnessesed people spend other peoples  hard earned money not only on inventions but many other things which they usually try to hide from the person that they have taken the money from, I bet you also know people like that?............ 

  

And thats just it it is her "fantasy land" and not anyone elses.    

  

It is always interesting to see in what way people try to make their product market value, you can perhaps pick up on their mistakes or successes and use that to your own advantage, and nothing wrong with that. 

  

But to laugh at someone who is trying to make a go of a "pipe dream" is demeaning and not necessary. I might not agree with her way of working, but then I would rather state that then be rude for no reason at all.                

  

 Whatever happened to marriage being a partnership where everything becomes "ours"?

When I married (in 1969), I had never had a checking account nor did I know how to write a check or balance a checkbook, so a couple of weeks after our wedding, when the bank statement came, I looked at it and figured I could balance the checkbook or at least try.  It wasn't that hard - but what I discovered was that my new husband rarely wrote down the checks in the checkbook and didn't keep a running balance.  He told me he had a good idea how much money he had - wrong!!   Four checks had bounced and one check (a $4 and some odd cents check) had bounced twice at a cost of $15 which was, for us at that time, 3 weeks worth of groceries.  We didn't have much money then, nor did we ever so budgeting was essential.  I took the checkbook away from him and didn't give it back.  I learned very quickly how to budget and I kept us on an even keel for the 12 years we were married.  We pooled our money so that everything we bought was for us together - it was never his or mine - and it was never my daughter or my son but our daughter and our son.

It is interesting to note that a year after he left us (he turned out to be gay), he had to declare bankruptcy because he couldn't handle his finances.  His attorney tried to get me to join him in the bankruptcy saying it would be a good idea but I refused because they weren't my debts but his.  After the divorce was when we had more trouble with money arguments.  I basically ended up supporting the children and myself with very little help from him.  Yes I did receive child support but it amounted to only about $400 a month - it helped but not that much.  The children are grown now although my daughter is developmentally disabled and will always be about  10 years old so she will continue to need help.  I am now disabled myself but work part time a little so budgeting is still absolutely necessary.  And my ex-husband is now gone - he died in 1991.  One very difficult thing is that I live in one of the most expensive states in the USA.  And the Social Security Administration only allows someone on SSDI to make $800 a month BEFORE taxes - and they consider that amount to be a significant amount of earnings - and that amount hasn't changed in about 10 years. Up here in Alaska, that is so little it's almost ridiculous, since the net is almost only $600 a month which sure doesn't go very far.

I have been finding other ways to make money - like selling off anything left of value on Ebay; selling my old clothes at a consignment shop (I've lost 66 pounds so far so I don't need the fat clothes anymore); having garage sales - lots of work and only for a couple hundred dollars but that's more than I had to begin with.  I also do beadwork and quilt and sell my work at craft shows and on consignment at a local shop.

Back to the topic - I think that this young woman would be better off without this husband or she will lose her self-esteem completely.  I think he needs counseling if they are to remain married.  A year or so after my divorce, I had a number of friends tell me that I was a lot freer than I had been.  And quite a number of years later I realized that my husband had done a lot to destroy my self-esteem in very subtle ways.  He wasn't controlling but there are other ways of bringing someone down.  So now I live alone and am pretty happy that way.  I have dated in the past (although not for the last about 10-12 years for some reason)  and I have had a couple of boyfriends tell me that I'm too damned independent.  I feel that  is a compliment because I had to become independent to survive which is a good thing for any woman.

 ANYONE THAT SPENDS $60.00 ON ONE PIECE OF CLOTHING FOR A  BABY, WHICH AT MOST WILL BE WORN A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE THE BABY OUT GROWS IT, SHOULD HAVE THEIR HEAD EXAMINED. THIS CLEARLY SHOWS THAT THE MOTHER SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED  WITH CASH OR CREDIT CARDS. HER HUSBAND SHOULD BE WITH HER ANY TIME MONEY IS SPENT. THIS WOMAN WILL SPEND THE FAMILY INTO THE POOR HOUSE IF HE DOESN'T WATCH OVER HER SPENDING. HOPE THEY SIGNED PRENUPTIAL, IF NOT HE MAY HAVE A REAL GOLD DIGGER ON HIS HANDS, OR EVEN WORSE SHE MAY BE THE TYPE PERSON THAT GETS A HIGH EVERY TIME SHE SPENDS MONEY. THE MORE SHE SPENDS THE HIGHER THE HIGH SHE GETS.

     The young couple needed to be shown that there was not just his money and her money.  Yes, I do think it is important for there to be his money and her money, but this is only after all the money is put together as "our money" and the budget along with goals (short term, intermediate, and long term) has been determined.  Then both partners could receive equal money for themselves. 

  

     Please Dr. Phil, give them a budget makeover.  I believe that once they both realize the amount of money coming in, going out, and what they need to save for their future goals - each of them will 

begin to working as a team instead of against one another.  This would be their first step in learning to put "family first". 

  

  

   I did not grow up in the happiest house, but I do remember one thing.  When it came to money my dad took care of it.  I remember hearing them talk at night.  My dad married my mom when she was 15 so he would have her set beside him when he did bills to make sure she knew how to do the budget if something should happen to him.  I heard my mother say once I do not see how you sqeeze everthing you do into the amount of money.  Just looking at the balance makes me worry.  Maybe I should get a job or something.  My daddy wouldnt have it.  He told her 'No, those kids need you more.'  He worked the same job sense I was five years old and still works there!  He has missed only 5 days of work in 10 years!  And he never ever threw the cost of something for me, my brother, or my mother up!  Men today seem to only be looking for what they can get and not what they can give.  Andy helped make that beautiful baby and he should be paying that childs bills so that she can get through school which would make their lives easier money wise later on!  Instead of saying what is she going to take from me he needs to say what can I do to help her and take care of my child.  Thats just my opion.

Hi Kkthye777,  You can always try a home base business.(there is all kinds of them)  That is what I do to make extra money and you can move up in the business when you want too and it did not cost much to get started.  I have 5 children and it is not worth paying for a babysitter or daycare and plus I am here for my kids when they need me.  E-mail me and I can give you more info.

This couple needs more than a budget makeover.  When you get married, "the two shall become one".  Anyone who goes into marriage and still have a "single-minded" attitude about anything doesn't truly understand marriage.  Both my husband and I have individual and a joint account.  But if he has a need or vice versa, we will not hesitate to go into our individual accounts because in the end, it's both of ours.  When married couples learn to take the "me" and the "I" out of their vocabulary and begin to speak "we", they'll understand "the two shall become one" much better.  No matter how poor this woman's spending habits are, this man, this husband, this father has a responsibility that isn't based upon what she does or does not do.  The Bible does not say a woman should respect her husband "IF" he does what is right.  The Bible does not say a man should love his wife the way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her "IF" she does what is right.  It is a command of God based solely on the sanctity and covenant of "marriage".  Many people stand at the altar day after day repeating vows that they have no clue what they mean.  If his wife has an issue with finances, he needs to HELP, not make a bunch of unrealistic demands.  He knew who he was marrying.  That is a problem with so many married couples.  They marry one another knowing the other person's weaknesses and then get into the marriage and try to change the person and gripe and complain instead of sensibly and lovingly help the other person.  A budget makeover is a small fraction of what they need.  There needs to be a character makeover.

It wasn't very smart of him to pay $6,000 for a "wanted not needed" breast augmentation.  But a breast augmentation is not a trade off for taking care of the baby.