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Topic : 05/31 Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 526
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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:16:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/2/2005) False accusations have ruined lives and divided families. No one knows this better than Terry. She claims she was falsely labeled as a gossip at her son, Steve's, rehearsal dinner and was escorted out of his wedding by security! Now, she confronts her son and daughter-in-law for the first time in almost five months. Can this family ever reconcile, or are they better off apart? Then, a former high school principal made headlines when a 16-year-old student accused him of having sex with her. The scandal rocked the town, and now he struggles to regain his reputation and move forward.  Share your thoughts here.

 

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June 1, 2006, 6:46 am CDT

Think before you do..

WOW what a great story. I was turned in to Child Protection and falsely accused of munchausen by proxy. To this day we still do not know who did it but it was either a nurse that we made mad or a family member. My daughter has a rare health condition called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, not much is know about it. So someone in their zero knowledge of the condition made a phone call. It was awful, they pulled my son out of class with out my knowledge, came to my house and insitsted on talking with my daughter (that just got out of the hospital for a two month stay). Although they closed the case as soon as they talked with the kids and myself, it was still a nightmare for everyone.  

People really need to stop and think before they do something that could change a persons life forever. Since that time, I second guess myself all the time and before I truly considered myself a pretty good parent. 

 
June 1, 2006, 7:26 am CDT

You said it all!

Quote From: ncoulter

An important thing to remember concerning the first family is that we only know the mother's side of the story as to what ended her marriage.  And since she seemed unwilling to take any ownership of any of her behavior past or present I suspect she is equally unwilling to take any ownership of what went wrong in her marriage.  

   

But the bottom line is that no matter what she might have said concerning her divorce at her son's wedding, especially after being asked specifically not to, it was disrespectful to her son and his bride-to be to even mention it.    

   

I do wonder about the motives of the aunt who told the young woman about what was said.  And I do believe that the situation could have been handled better.  

   

But I am shocked at how many posters seem to think it is okay to go to someone's wedding and trash another guest.  When the person doing the trashing is a parent talking about another parent that is classless and shows absolutely no regard or respect for the child getting married.  

Good job, I totally agree! Especially with your thought that since the mom wouldn't take any "ownership" in what happened at the wedding that it is easy to see that she probably takes no ownership for what went wrong in her marriage either.  I refuse to see her as the victim other posters do. 

  

As far as why the aunt even told the bride what was said, I think she could have used better judgement too.  But, to be fair, I watched the show again last night and caught something I missed the first time.  Steve said the aunt had no prior knowledge of his family situation and therefore didn't realize that what she repeated would be such a big thing.  

  

I too am shocked by the many here on this board who think the mothers feelings should have been more important than the bride and groom on THEIR wedding day!!   

 
June 1, 2006, 7:45 am CDT

hope this helps you understand better

Quote From: afraid

altho i can understand the grooms side i still am having trouble understanding how he could have let her be escorted away from the wedding by 2 offersers of the law, what ever happened to thy shall honor thy " mother " and father it seemes to me they could have postponed the wedding till his mother father and fathers new wife could all get togather and talk and agree to not let bad water ruien thear sons wedding, i know i never would have or ever will have my mother escorted anywhear by the police, except to the wedding if she were lost trying to get thear, im like you dr phil on this issue im goin to spend as much time with my mother that i can, it dosent matter to me if she has something she needs to get off her cheast, if im thear, ill listen to her and it wont go no ferther,sometimes people need to talk about thear problems only then can we put that problem behind us and let the healing begin,when it comes to my mom im all ears and if she needs a shoulder to sry on i have 2, after all she was always thear for me when i needed her, i feel like mom was robbed of a happy memory, and its too late to give it back, its gone, but its never too late to give her many more happy memories, i pray they dont waste what time god gives them, god bless you,

Hi.  Since you said you are having trouble understanding I just wanted to remind you that on the show the bride and groom said they hired security for the wedding to prevent any trouble.  They didn't know until the wedding that the "security" was two off duty policemen who would wear their uniforms for this job.  I really don't think they wanted to have the mom arrested or embarrass her, they just asked the security firm to keep her from attending.  They had left her at least 10 messages (according to the son) not to show up because of what she had done at the rehearsal, but she came anyway. 

  

It is not realistic to think that the mother, father and new wife would "get together and talk and agree not to let bad water ruin the wedding".  Though the dad may have agreed to, I doubt the mother ever would since she is holding onto so much anger at him and his new wife.  Plus, they were in Hawaii for the wedding remember?  They probably could not have postponed anything without losing valuable time and even money. But most importantly, it was not the bride and grooms job to make peace between the parents.  The parents are supposed to respect the young couple and their special day - they are supposed to act with dignity and class on such an important occasion.  The mother didn't. 

  

The bride and groom did all they could to make sure everyone in the family felt included.  They set some rules for everyone to follow regarding their behavior to make sure no one would do anything out of line or inappropriate.  The mom is the one who couldn't follow the rules.  She was not "robbed" of a happy memory - she chose her behavior and had to live with its consequence. 

  

All that being said, I too pray they will resolve this conflict and not waste valuable time they could be enjoying with one another, especially once grandchildren arrive! 

 
June 1, 2006, 7:51 am CDT

I hvae friend serving time for being falsely accused

I live in Baltimore MD and I have a friend named Tim is currently serving a time in prison for being falsely accused. He was given a total of 55 years and has to serve 20 of it. He was 40 years old upon entering prison. The result of mentally unstable wife wanting a divorce and rid of all her childern put him in there. One day Tim had come home from his first job to get ready to go to his 2nd job and everything was great. His wife seemed perfectly fine, even made love to him before he went back to work. Not a few hours later and his 2 sons showed up at his job saying Mom and his 2 daughters had packed up and left. He tried for a couple weeks to talk to his wife to find out why, and wanting her and the girls to come back home. She grew very angry, How do I know? I lived up the street from where she was staying and she was always coming to my house complaining about him calling and wanting her back, her comment then was " I am going to get him good" I thought she was just blowing off steam. Well not long after that she came to me with her one daughter and stated that he had sexually abused her over the past 6 years. Here's the thing the way it was told and the story itself just didn't make any sense. She then said she was going home to call the police and file a report. Tim was immediately arrested and the boys were taken, only to end up with the Mom the next day. Who once again complained she didn't want them. As days past everything started becoming clearer that he was indeed innocent. The mom became very heavy into using drugs, and living a party life. When I talked to the daughter about it and asked her to tell me everything she told me things but was smiling about it, not crying or anything, but smiling. The daughter was pregnat by her ex boyfriend and knew it was her exboyfriend however Mom went around and told all of their friends and even his boss that it was Tim's baby. His life was totally destroyed nobody wanted anything to do with him. Just before the court trial The daughter came to her Mom and said in front of me I don't want to do this. So My fiance' and I drove  them to see the state's attorney and social worker on the case and well I guess the meeting didn't go to well. The daughter was told if she backs out that her mother and her would be facing criminal charges and go to jail. 2 weeks before the trial the mother came to me and told me she felt her daughter was lying and wanted our help to try to help him.So at that point I became more involved. A week maybe a little more before the trial the daughter admitted to her siblings in front of her mother that Dad didn't do it she had lied. When we went to court I sat and watched the mother play both sides, she told the state she would be their witness and she told the defense she would be their witness. The state offered Tim 1-3 years if he pleaded guilty he refused, he was fighting for his innocence. During the trial the only ones allowed to testify was the daughter, the mother, the detective and the social worker. Not his other childern who knew what their sister said, not I or my fiance that had witnessed everything being said and done by the wife. anyhow during the trial the testimony didn't match the protection order statement. She couldn't remember certain key details that she had stated prior. She claimed that yes she thought her father was the father of her baby however NEVER claimed that any sexual acts occured to result in a pregnacy. She swore it happened in the basement of a certain home in that county which clearly was proven there was no basement.She never saw a Dr of any sort.  We thought for sure the Judge would see threw it all and find him not guilty. We were wrong. He was found guilty and sentenced to 55 years in prison and had to serve 20 years of it. Also due to the time frame she was claiming all this, they lived in another house in another county and with everything in front of them as the same county who convicted it never made it to trial, everything was dropped. Now before the trial took place. The mother had moved out of the place she was staying and left the daughter and her oldest son behind. After the trial the daughter was placed in foster care, the son went with mom who only a week or 2 later had put away, stating she feared for her life around him, all because the people she was staying with were pretty mean to her kids and an argument broke out and the oldest son grabbed a knife put it to his own wrist and asked his mother would this make you happy? she called the police and said he pulled the knife on her. 5 months after the trial the daughter runs away from foster care, telling her Mom she can't take it no more, she has to tell the truth about Dad. No one listened they felt she was confused. She ran away 5 times going to her mother. The messed up thing is I tried so hard to be a friend to the Mom mainly for the kids. I could see they were hurting bad. let me back track a second. A month after the trial my fiance and I had a big arguement becasue of how much I was putting into trying to help these childern, We had finacial problems ourselves.Anyhow while talking to the Mom she stated to me that she could help, to make a long story short she offered to help me get rid of him forever like she did. I went to the social worker about it all and wasn't believed because I was friends with Tim as well. I tried to point out how the mother claimed that during the marriage she was abused in ways like have a unopened beer bottle smashed into the back of her head, being thrown threw a sliding glass door, having the hook part of a hammer placed threw the back of her ankle, being stabbed 4 times with a butcher's knife and amazingly never had to seek medical attention. I was told by the social worker maybe emotionally she wasn't able to. Anyhow at one time during the first time the daughter ran away and no one knew where she was, I had went to the prison to tell Tim that she was missing. While leaving the prison I was stopped by state police who then searched my car because they got a call from the social worker who got a call from Mom saying I had the daughter, of course I didn't, and they later found her with her Mom. I grew really tired of dealing with the Mom's mentally unstable ways, but I hung in there for those kids. 8 months after trial the Mother threw the youngest son out and I took him in. He was with me for a few months. After him going back home, I slowly pulled myself out of the picture. It was destroying my life in the process. I had problems with my relationship, my friends, and my family. After leaving Mom on her own to deal with the kids. One day she just packed up and left. The police showed up to the home finding the kids were abandoned and they all were put away. Many things happended in between but it would take forever to talk about all that occured. Anyhow the kids got to stay with friends of their's. However no criminal charges were ever placed againsit the mother for leaving them.She called one time and claimed she was in New Orleans helping the victim's of Katrina, she was seen later that day and a few other times in the city of Baltimore. The kids now are living with their older sister from Tim's previous marriage, living in another state and are doing better. And now that the kids are gone, Tim's still in prison the Mom has showed back up living at her old house. The daughter is still telling everyone it never happened. She has been placed in a mental facility. She will be released in a month when she turns 18. As for me I had to cut the ties for the most part. I just couldn't stand seeing everything that took place, and I couldn't take all the kaos it had caused in my own life. However I did call the kids when they got to their sister's to check on them all. But as for Tim he sits basically alone still fighting for his innocence hoping not to die within the priosn walls. He's done had a heart attack and been stabbed.I feel that yes Child abuse and child sexual abuse is a serious crime and those who do it should be punished however I feel the state needs to do more  investagating before they turn lives upside down and destroy families.
 
June 1, 2006, 9:05 am CDT

the new wife has a lot to learn....

hi;  this message is in response to your show of yesterday 5/31/06. on occasion i do watch your show and most of the time i do find it interesting, as i did yesterday. what i could not understand is as follows:
a mother and daughter being escorted off area/church/ceremony where the wedding took place for two reasons.
1) the son believed that his mother said something to the bride's aunt. ( whatever she said could've been distorted by the aunt, couldn't it)
2) the sister of the groom was concerned and questioned the marriage, after knowing each other for a short period. now what's wrong with that?
i would've been more concerned if no one asked the groom that question. if anything, that question itself shows caring. and the statement that having a wedding in Hawaii, sure it is a hardship for most people to occur those expenses.
the groom got defensive for a reason that only he knows, (or may not).
neither reason is good enough for that despicable incident occur at the wedding.
this is what i see - for what it's worth:
the groom is whipped and the bride is a spoiled woman & a manipulator.
dr. Phil, you said it he may with time passing will resent his wife. thank you for listening. ah  

  

 
June 1, 2006, 9:06 am CDT

Steve has mud on his face

Doesn't everyone agree that this issue is so totally different from the mother who allowed the rapist to come in contact with her rapist?  

  

  

We can say for the record that maybe the mother had a problem with gossip, but does saying something negative warrant getting tossed out by uniform officers? I mean if that was the case then all weddings and family gatherings would have police officers outside their front door. I think this situation was turned into drama that wasn't necessary.  

  

Steve should be highly ashamed and this is a bad sign regarding how their marriage will turn out.  He really should have designated someone to keep the mother, father, new step mother away from each other. Wow what a wonderful bride you got there. A real gem (vomit). What kind of power does this bride have over you that you cling to her on stage and discount anything your own mother and brother have to say? Tell us..... I need to bottle that power. I need to use it on my 2 year old!  

  

Sorry Steve you  clearly have mud on your face. Your little goodie bride flipped the script on you and made this much more then it had to be. Even if your sister did act up like throwing punches or starting a fight you could have escorted her out. But instead you decided to have your very special day without your mother. Guess what? Kharma is a deadly thing. I think the proof will be in the pudding. Ther proof comes when we see how long the marriage will last. You will slowly but surely if you haven't already see the signs of your bride's controlling behavior. Tell her to stay out of your issues with your mother especially something so dumb and small as gossip. Get over it.  AFTER ALL YOUR OWN FATHER CHEATED ON YOUR MOTHER WITH HIS CO WORKER AND GOT HER PREGNANT HAVE A LITTLE COMPASSION.  

  

  

 
June 1, 2006, 9:57 am CDT

Terry gossip or no

Where was Terry's daughter; it appears since she had allegedly made threats prior to the wedding that she should have been there.  I don't know whether Terry is a meddling gossip or not, the aunt was just as wrong for spreading the gossip or whatever.  Terry obviously was very hurt by her ex-husband but she needs to get over it, it's done, can't change it and why be miserable about it.  Who knows, he may do this again since he's done it once.  Personally, in a situation such as this, the stepmother should have stayed at home as she knew there were hard feelings.  Obviously the DIL wanted her there.....it almost makes one think that she is the troublemaker here. 

  

The daughter in law has control issues, the son doesn't have a spine.  Terry and daughter need to learn to button up and go on with their lives.  Life is far too short to be angry and resentful all the time.   

  

Jan 

 
June 1, 2006, 10:13 am CDT

you are so on queue

Quote From: caz1970

I was watching this show and although I do see that the mom has some issues too, the son kicks his Mom out of the wedding and tells the sister not to come as well because they may cause trouble with the father and his new wife. Maybe the son should have thought about the step mom not coming and then all of his family could have come and been happy. But he didn't, he wanted his mom who obviously was having a difficult time with the issue to suck it up and deal with it and if not you get kicked out by POLICE. That is really cold! He could not have been a man and took care of it him self? He purposely made the situation much worse and made his father and his new wife get a laugh off of his mother. The daughter in law seems really cold too. She made the remark that she didn't care if his mother was ever in the picture. If you really love your husband you would be a little bit more conserned with him having a good relationship with his mother. And gossiping is no reason to say you couldn't leave the any grandchildren with her How way over dramatic is that?!!!!
You hit the nail on the head with your post.  The Stepmom should have stayed home, but then she wrecked a home, what else would one expect.  There are a lot of wrongs in this situation, as far as I'm concerned the son needs a backbone but then he probably has already found out that the little wifey will walk all over him (that is if they are still together...I have a feeling he will follow in the Dad's footsteps as he is a cold cookie!).
 
June 1, 2006, 10:14 am CDT

Daughter in law has egg on her face

That daughter inlaw has egg on her face after that show... Her arguments sounded rediculous.
 
June 1, 2006, 11:04 am CDT

Dr. Wilson

My heart really went out to Dr. Wilson and his wife. I can't imagine this happening to my husband. Although I know children are actually raped by teachers, there must be something done to protect innocent people. I just want Dr. Wilson to know that I am buying one of his books to help out. I hope this 16 year old someday with understand what she put him through. God bless
 
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