Quote From: lucky24Hi Terrbin - good to read you here again :)
I really do appreciate that in your writing you are trying to combat the words people say and not the people - so don't worry, I see your good intentions and am in no way offended.
As usual, you have written at length so I may not get to everything you said in this post this time, but I'll try!
I will start with what we do agree on - we DON'T know which of these two conflicting stories is the real truth. I said on a previous post that none of us as viewers can really know the truth since none of us were actually there. And given that all total Dr. Phil talked to these people for maybe 20 minutes on the show I'm sure there is a great deal more background and history than we heard that day.
When I am watching Dr. Phil interview people I tend to take my cues from him as to which direction the truth leans. This is because he does have all the background and history and does very thorough research on the people who come on his show. It was obvious to me he did not buy for one minute that Terry was an innocent "victim" in this situation. He kept saying, "oh, come on" to try to get her to see how unbelievable some of her claims of innocence were. I could have found her story at least somewhat credible if she had at least owned up to her share of the responsibility for how this whole wedding day situation unfolded. I never said the whole thing was her fault. In fact, I think when you get down to it and look at each person in the story OBJECTIVELY you see that the whole situation was one that they all played a role in which just seemed to snowball out of control.
As far as the 10 messages Steve left his mother, I didn't say he did that the day before the wedding. I said, he said, he left those messages all day long the day of the wedding. This was because sometime between the rehearsal and the wedding itself he learned about the comment Terry made to the aunt.
I feel like for Steve, she had crossed the line and done exactly what she had been asked not to do by making such a crude comment about the dad. When he discovered what she had said, that was apparently the straw that broke the camels back. At that point he basically un-invited her to the wedding. Maybe she got those messages from him, maybe she didn't. But in his mind she was no longer welcome at the ceremony - as sad as many of us think that is, he had a right to his feelings. Obviously there is something in their history as mother and son that caused him to believe he had reached his limit with her behavior. None of us know what that history is exactly or how he may have suffered for years in his relationship with her, so we have no right to judge his decision to ban her.
I state again, she was not "robbed" of this special day. She made a choice to behave in a way she had already been asked NOT to behave in and suffered the consequence of her OWN choice.
All of you up in arms about how this is Steve's own fault for inviting his dad and his new wife to the wedding should take a minute to remember that we don't know dad's side of the story for why he left Terry. Things are not usually as simple as some of you want to make them out to be here.
A bride and groom have the right to invite whomever they wish to their special day, regardless of how anyone else feels about the others invited. It is the duty of the family and other guests invited to help celebrate this day, not tarnish it with their own personal agendas.
Since Steve had to suffer thru his parents marriage and divorce I'd say he is entitled to his own opinion and feelings as to whether or not his dad deserves to be "punished" by him for whatever things he has done. Nobody has the right to condemn Steve for his choice to include the new wife when he did it because he obviously cares about that side of his "family" too. All of you who are stuck on the theme that the new wife is some homewrecker and must be treated poorly because of it, need to reexamine how situations in your own lives may be tainting your ability to be completely objective on this subject.
These may not be my final words, but all I have for now :) Take care Terrbin
I wonder if you have kids? I believe the mother is not totally innocent but I do believe the daughter in law is a control freak and deep down doesn't want him to have much to do with his mother. The whole situation is immature to begin with. If this is all they have to worry about, then dang I would be happy. The mother plays a key role in a traditional wedding and to be treated like that made this immature argument into a big ordeal.
(Original Air Date: 11/2/2005) False accusations have ruined lives and divided families. No one knows this better than Terry. She claims she was falsely labeled as a gossip at her son, Steve's, rehearsal dinner and was escorted out of his wedding by security! Now, she confronts her son and daughter-in-law for the first time in almost five months. Can this family ever reconcile, or are they better off apart? Then, a former high school principal made headlines when a 16-year-old student accused him of having sex with her. The scandal rocked the town, and now he struggles to regain his reputation and move forward. Share your thoughts here.
