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Topic : 05/31 Falsely Accused

Number of Replies: 526
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Created on : Friday, October 28, 2005, 02:16:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/2/2005) False accusations have ruined lives and divided families. No one knows this better than Terry. She claims she was falsely labeled as a gossip at her son, Steve's, rehearsal dinner and was escorted out of his wedding by security! Now, she confronts her son and daughter-in-law for the first time in almost five months. Can this family ever reconcile, or are they better off apart? Then, a former high school principal made headlines when a 16-year-old student accused him of having sex with her. The scandal rocked the town, and now he struggles to regain his reputation and move forward.  Share your thoughts here.

 

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November 2, 2005, 1:52 pm CST

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is

 
 

I was disturbed to hear the the son's wife say " It would not bother me if we never had a relationship with Steve's mom." When I look at this situation, I am not sure who was right or wrong. I am certain that neither side is telling the complete truth. However,  this situation reminds me of the play KIng Lear - in it Lear has been rejected by the child he has loved unconditionally and he says  of  Cordelia "  
 
Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!
Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
To make this creature fruitful!
Into her womb convey sterility!
Dry up in her the organs of increase;
And from her derogate body never spring
A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
Create her child of spleen; that it may live,
And be a thwart disnatured torment to her!
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks;
Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child! Away, away
 

 

  

 

  

If  this young woman can so cavalierly throw away the relationship that her husband has with his mother, than she should consider that someday she may find herself on the receiving end of the very same behavior of a “thankless child” if and when she is even lucky enough to become a mother. Right now, her cold attitude and behavior toward the mother of the man she purports to love will  be passed on to her own children. Her children will learn ( remember children learn what they live) and They will see that they can and maybe even should toss aside their own mother – the single person whose very blood runs in their veins, whose very body nurtured and protected them  like their father did.When the time comes that her own children chose their mate that she risks being tossed away like a old rag. As a mother myself , I would not wish on anyone a “thankless child” but if she acts this way in her life with her husband’s mother than someday as a result of teaching such behavior to her own children  ‘she may feel how sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a Thankless child!”.  Of course, the same thing will happen to the son but there is a different pain when a child rejects his/her own mother so ultimately this young wife may find that she will  live with these decisions in a very personal and painful way. I hope not. I hope they all see the error of their ways or the cycle may be neverending and Life is too short to be let these petty things get in the way. 

Away, away 

 

  

 

  

 

  

If  this young woman can so cavalierly throw away the relationship that her husband has with his mother, than she should consider that someday she may find herself on the receiving end of the very same behavior of a “thankless child” if and when she is even lucky enough to become a mother. Right now, her cold attitude and behavior toward the mother of the man she purports to love with be passed on to her own children. Her children will learn ( remember children learn what they live) and They will see that they can and maybe even should toss aside their own mother – the single person whose very blood runs in their veins, whose very body nurtured and protected them  like their father did.When the time comes that her own children chose their mate that she risks being tossed away like a old rag. As a mother myself , I would not wish on anyone a “thankless child” but if she acts this way in her life with her husband’s mother than someday as a result of teaching such behavior to her own children  ‘she may feel how sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a Thankless child!”.  Of course, the same thing will happen to the son but there is a different pain when a child rejects his/her own mother so ultimately this young wife may find that she will  live with these decisions in a very personal and painful way. I hope not. I hope they all see the error of their ways or the cycle may be neverending and Life is too short to be let these petty things get in the way. 

  

 
November 2, 2005, 1:52 pm CST

Dr. Wilson

We need more people like him in our schools. He is one of a few who truly care what happen to our children and we need to step up and support him. I pray that he will find a school that really needs him and want the kind of help he is willing to give to the students.
 
November 2, 2005, 1:53 pm CST

the principal with principle

Quote From: bizoumom

It is abundantly clear that this man has more class in his pinky than most people have in their entire being.  What has happened to him is horrible but I am certain that something good will come out of it.  I am reminded of the verse in the bible that says "you (the world) meant it for evil but God meant it for good."  I admire both he and his wife and really appreciate what they have in each other.
I agree and I was so pleased to see Dr Phil stand up on his behalf.  I hope that this is mess just a bump (admittedly a bad one) on a great road for this man and his wife!
 
November 2, 2005, 1:56 pm CST

can relate

This mother was having problems with her son, and his wife.  Dr. Phil told them that they should not be fighting over the union of these two people no matter what the circumstances.  I can relate in that my parents would very upset to find out who I was dating, and the details to go along with it.  My father even stopped taking to me.  This was after calling me several names that I will not mention.  I went home for the first time two weeks ago, and he avoided me the entire time.  I felt as if I did not belong in the family anymore, because I had chose my boyfriend over them (in their eyes).  I love my father to death, and did not want something to happen to him before I could make things right.  I knew what was going on was my fault and I wanted to be an adult about the situation.  I called him up and told him that I feared we would never speak again.  He told me he did not want our relationship to be like the one he has with his father (they don't talk at all).  We are working on our relationship and now are talking via phone.  It is not perfect, but talking is better than not.
 
November 2, 2005, 1:58 pm CST

Bless the Teachers

I feel deeply for Dr. Wilson and his wife.  Such accusations result in so much pain and grief.  Our community would be honored to have such educators!  You would be welcome in mid-Michigan, Dr. Wilson. 

 

Keep the Faith.  There are those who will remember the good you have done, whose lives will be better for your efforts.  Don't give up on all your hard work. 

Sincerely, 

 

Julie 

 
November 2, 2005, 2:01 pm CST

Family is Family

Quote From: maureenkj

28 years ago my husband-to-be thought it best to ask his mother not to come to our wedding. She left the family when he was 18mos old and had proven herself to be unreasonable and coercive thru the years when he spent weekend time with her. She was a chronic liar, manipulative, difficult in all family situations - and I'm being kind with my words. On the few occasions when someone wanted to venture outside the walls of 'just maintain peace' she denied everything and everyone else was at fault. He didn't see her as a guest who would enjoy the celebration of our marriage, just another opportunity for her to cause rifts with his father's 2nd wife (who actually put in the years of raising my husband). While we didn't hire police, we did ask a friend who was already attending the wedding to keep an eye out for her and be ready to escort her out. It was never necessary (as she finally chose not to come after threatening that she would attend no matter what), but for years we heard a variety of stories thru family members as she put different spins on this event. It was all lies and gossip that we chose to not address or get involved in. Unfortunately we have recognized that my MIL has been like a toxic poison to the sisters who thought she was truthful in everything she said. They are now exactly like her, only angrier. We have opted to treat her as a distant relative: polite, a note once in a while, one or 2 dinners together. The only way for us to be at peace with my MIL was with distance. I can totally understand this Bride and Groom, given my background. Like Steve and Theresa, we didn't know each other very long before marrying so I did not have an opinion about whether or not my MIL attended our wedding, I just supported my husband's decision. Fast forward 25 years to the moment I met my first future DIL. The first thing I saw was the delight in my son's face as he introduced this lovely young women to us - someone so close to his heart that he couldn't imagine spending his life without her. The best gift I could give him as a mom was to immediately set out to find all those things that made him love her, and boy, did i find some great stuff. It also set the tone for everyone else in the family, as sometimes we moms forget how influential we can be in the most subtle moments. I remember seeing how scared she looked at her first famiy events, hanging back a bit and waiting to be introduced and be invited into the girl-talk. It was my job to draw her into that fold with love and celebration...not gossip and innuedo. Its so hard to read about MIL's and mothers who spend energy picking away at their adult children and their choice of lifemate when the same energy can go into a great relationship. Maureen

It's a shame that people can't put aside their anger for one, to share in the joy of another.  I don't agree with what the father did to the wife and family for that matter.  Seems pretty selfish.  But it's time that you all pick yourselves up by the bootstraps and look toward the future and new memories.  Maybe one day those new memories will outweigh the pain and anger of dad's mistake and mom's loss.  Terry has the love of all her kiddos, through good times and bad.  I'm praying that the bad with be short lived. 

Lynn 

 
November 2, 2005, 2:01 pm CST

The wife is behind it

Although, the mother is gossiping about the family; I believe she has a right too. I mean, come on, her husband left her! Did you see the way Teresa looked at her mother-in-law? I really didn't like her attitude about the whole situation. She looks like a kind of girl that has to get everything she wants. To be honest, I think she kind of likes the fact her husband and mother aren't getting along. She probably doesn't like her and doesn't won't her husband to like her either. I think she's behind the whole conflict.
 
November 2, 2005, 2:02 pm CST

Maybe the stepmom should have been asked not to come instead?

I was watching this show and although I do see that the mom has some issues too, the son kicks his Mom out of the wedding and tells the sister not to come as well because they may cause trouble with the father and his new wife. Maybe the son should have thought about the step mom not coming and then all of his family could have come and been happy. But he didn't, he wanted his mom who obviously was having a difficult time with the issue to suck it up and deal with it and if not you get kicked out by POLICE. That is really cold! He could not have been a man and took care of it him self? He purposely made the situation much worse and made his father and his new wife get a laugh off of his mother. The daughter in law seems really cold too. She made the remark that she didn't care if his mother was ever in the picture. If you really love your husband you would be a little bit more conserned with him having a good relationship with his mother. And gossiping is no reason to say you couldn't leave the any grandchildren with her How way over dramatic is that?!!!!
 
November 2, 2005, 2:02 pm CST

Feuding family members

Concerning the feud between Steve and his mother: I've had a disappointing relationship with my father over the years. About fifteen years ago I finally had enough of him and no longer had anything to do with him. I continued to write to my mother but ignored him. He finally died a year ago last July.  Contrary to what Dr. Phil said about missing the time with a parent, it was actually a relief when my mother told me he had died. Now I'm able to have a normal relationship with my mother for her last remaining years. It's too bad my father couldn't have been a decent person but that's the way it goes.
 
November 2, 2005, 2:02 pm CST

SHAME ON THAT CHILD!

Shame on the 16 year old girl who potentially ruined the lives of the Dr. Wilson and his wife.  What a terrible thing to do!  Hopefully she has had or will have to deal with life ruining consequences for her behavoir!  I certainly do hope that she has had charges filed against her for falsely reporting a crime! 

 
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