Topic : 08/25 Extreme Food Obsessions

I watched the show and saw the mother of the daughter with PWS. I was discouraged to hear her speak almost exclusively of herself. Mom didn't have a problem saying she had a short fuse, but at no time did she take responsibility for the fact that whatever part of the short temper is inherited came from Mom and the rest from the way Mom has been treating her. How can the child, normal or disabled, be expected to behave correctly or properly if the one person who is supposed to be her example doesn't? Maybe Mom should take a look at Savannah's behavior as a way of seeing how Savannah sees Mom's behavior towards her. I too have disabled children. Two daughters that have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. While the circumstances may be different, daily activities and routines are built and changed based upon their disabilities, just like most of the other families that I share support with. We do that out of love, patience and tolerance for the children that we brought into this world because we wanted them, not the other way around. Sheila, Chelsea(11) & Christina(9) Toledo, OH

 I have a 36 year old sister that may have an eating disorder but, she won't admit it or let her family help her! Her children have signs also! My sister only weighs 70 pounds. She is very little and I am scared of losing her! What should I do to help her? She gets very upset if we bring it up! Please help! Stein706@aol.com

I watched today's show,and really felt for that young mom trying to raise her disabled child. I am an RN and have worked in the past with disabled children with various diagnosis, such as Autism and some genetic disorders.  People who haven't had any contact with these children really have absolutely no idea how incredibly difficult it is to care for them. As a nurse, it was my job to just administer medication and do an assesment- which was nearly impossible at times- then I get to go home! So, I don't really know either. This mom was on the show reaching out for help. She knows that she needs it, and she wasn't making excuses for her wrongful treatment of her daughter. Those cruel words and actions were done out of sheer frustration. I suspected that the viewers would really slam her on these boards, because they just don't know. I am not saying that it's ok to insult and spank this child, of course it's not! But please understand that until you walk in the shoes of a parent of a disabled child, you cannot know the range of emotions they must feel every single day. Please know that not everyone judges you on what is seen on the surface. Reach out and get some help and support from local agencies. Good luck!  Karen RN

Sorry, I don't mean to be mean or anything but I hate when shows go to the two extremes.  I mean, I am (well, I guess I wasnt but I wasnt very underweight) at a normal weight and I am recovering from bulimia.  People dont have to be severely over or under weight to have food obsessions or eating disorders.  Just my opinion, when I was in the hospital over the summer we had people of all sizes there and I think it is important to realize that u dont have to be extremely over or under weight to be sick and have health problems.  I don't know, I am probably not making my point clearly.  O well, just thought I'd post with my opinion.  I am very proud of the 38 year old recovering from anorexia, it isn't easy to recover, I've only been sick for 4 years, and she's been sick for 16, I am very proud of her and I hope she continues to do well!

I am not sure if it is just a bad turn that Americans are taking but I didnt really hear that much about being obese until the past decade. I dont know if it is just that were are fatter cus of laziness or hi tech gears or that were just need to over indulge and try to blame it as a medical thing that we can not control. I think that the human spirit can do better than that . I sometimes think that it is just an excuse to over indulge or for laziness.. 

  

  

Nichelle, 

  

My mentally retarded sister is now 60 years old and she definitely had PWS, but at the time when she was a child, there was no such diagnosis.  My Mother tried to provide structure for my sister which was always corrupted by my Father.  She grew up throwing tantrums in order to manipulate my father into giving in, which he always did.  She ate herself to severe obesity and numerous medical problems. I endured several beatings from my father as she told him I hit her.  While I was being "disciplined" she would stand by and laugh.  I grew up with a lot of anger toward my parents over what I suffered with her being in the house.  She did no wrong. 

  

When she started to throw her hips out of joint and being self destructive with hitting and biting herself to the point of bleeding, she was evaluated by several specialists.  First of all they put her on a tranquilizer.  They strongly recommended she be placed in a school for the mentally retarded where she would have the structure she desperately needed.  She would by this time, literally knock my mother and me to the floor when ever she felt like it and then be as sweet as could be to good ole Dad.  He would get physically ill if he tried to discipline her.  After much fighting with the specialists and our local physician's support she was send to a boarding school.  Occasionally she would come home for a weekend and the change in her behavior was dramatic.  Then the fight to take her back to school as Dad just couldn't stand it without her home.  Finally he went to school and brought her home for good.  We tried locking food up in the cupboards and keeping her out of the kitchen but it was impossible. 

  

Several years later, when she was out of control and in her 30's she was put in the state school for the mentally retarded.  She loved it there.  No body stared at her she would say.  She behaved and lost weight.  Then the state facility closed and they dropped her off at my parents home one day. 

She was out of control in no time and actually battered my mother so bad she sustained a fractured arm.  When the physicians found out what happened, they told my father in no uncertain terms that she would be placed in a group home voluntarily or they would go to court and have her removed from their home. She was placed in three different group homes before she felt at home and has been there ever since.  She always wants to go home after a few hours with my parents.  It's hard for them to have her refer to the group home as her home, but it is. 

  

Group homes or placement outside the family home is not for everyone.  With your situation of having other children in the home and being a single parent, this could be an avenue for you to consider.  You seem to have a lot of stress and anger with your current situation.  Please do not take it out on this special needs child.  Do what you feel and know  is best for this child.  If she needs more structure they you are able to provide at this time, please consider a group home.  You can still be an active part of her life and need feel no guilt. You may be doing her, yourself and your other children a great service.  But please, no more name calling, no hitting her.  It just doesn't work. 

  

I'm praying for you. 

Dee 

I'm a weight loss patient. As a a child I was always the heaviest of my friends, I had parents who constantly degraded me due to my weight, and as a person who has suffered trauma in my life my eating habits over the years spiraled out of control.  

Early in my adulthood I became morbidly obese. I've fought it for years. Just over a year ago, as my health began to suffer due to being 5 ft. tall, weighing 252 pounds and having tried everything from Weight Watchers to therapy, to every diet on this planet.....I had weight-loss surgery. I had a Gastric Lap-Band placed around my stomach. In a year I've lost 77 pounds. To reach a normal goal weight, one that is achievable, I have 30 more pounds to lose. Since getting a LAPBAND I've learned much more about proper eating, food choices, exercise and food addiction.  

This country has an extremely high morbidly obese population and today there are surgeries available for those who simply cannot overcome their addictions to food. And make no mistake about it. Being morbidly obese is JUST AS SERIOUS an illness as anorexia is. The person's body suffers just as much if not more and I'de be willing to bet that there are hundreds of thousands MORE DEATHS in America per year as a result of obesity, than anorexia, bulimia and all other eating disorders put together. YET..... MOST insurance companies will not pay for weight loss surgery for the morbidly obese patient. They will pay for a patient who has anorexia to get treatment for that but NOT for weight loss surgery. IF your obese in this country......your discriminated against in almost every way. You can be fired for it, not hired for it, be made to purchase an extra airline ticket, turned down for residence, made fun of openly, and the list goes on.  

My question to Dr. Phil is this..... 

Why is it that IF your anorexic your considered to have a serious medical condition that is deserving of attention and medical treatment.....but IF your morbidly obese or obese your considered to be lazy, fat and a drain on society's resources?  

This Message is for Kathy. When I saw you on the show earlier this year I did not think you were going to make it. When I saw you today I was very happy to see the changes you have made. The first thing that I was thinking was how beautiful you are. You look very healty and on the road to recovery. I know you have a lot more to do, you deserve alot a credit for how far you have come. Keep up the hard work. I think someone else that has your illness will see the show and realize that they can do it too. You having the courage will give someone else the courage too.

So nice that you didn't watch the show, have no idea what the show was about or even what this child's disorder is. Before you form all these opinions, you should get the facts. She doesn't have an "over eating disorder" she has a genetic disorder and the part of her brain that controls hunger is affected. She has multiple problems, not just that. Why don't you go into Google and put in Prader-Willi Syndrome and read about this disorder. I suppose it is easier to just talk trash and put someone down and think how much better you are than them, instead of taking the time to understand. How do ppl like you live with yourselves?   Karen RN 

OMG!!!  This woman needs help. I am the mother of a child with down syndrome. I am appalled at this mothers behavior. She needs outside intervention. Savanah can't control her behavior, she is mentally challenged for goodness sake. My daughter because of frustration would hit or scratch me and her father. Yes its very hard raising a mentally challenged child, but there is resources to help parents deal with it. Maybe Nichelle is dissappointed because Savanah isn't "normal",but she is your child.  Your anger isn't helping the situation, she doesn't understand why her mom is so angry all the time. Please get some help for yourself. 

  

Also, I thought the term mentally retarded went out a long time ago.  Isn't the term mentally challenged more acceptable. 

  

thank you, 

a special needs child loving mom