Topic : 08/18 Dr. Phil's Road Show: Newlywed Challenge, Part 2

I once dated a man who constantly said things bad about himself. He then started to be critical on me. Whatever I do or however I look was not good enough. I told him that he should start thinking positively about himself. Then, he can start to think positively about others. He didn't change and I stopped seeing him. Women can give men love, good cooking, a clean house, children and many other things. But we can't give a man his self-esteem. He has to earn it himself. You are better off without such a person. A woman can be happy by herself.  

Hi there, 

Look, I was in a very bad relationship at one point in my life. I took the stupid abuse for about 1 year then I decided that I was worth more then he can offer me. You seem to be a very nice woman and that you tolerate this crap from him way to easily. He first of all should never ever call your the b word or even worse the c word. This shows a great deal of disrespect from his part. You are the mother of his baby. Pregnancy and taking care of a baby is hard work im sure and you have your fair share of stress to deal with to. He is basically taking all of his stress out on you instead of working with you to communicate better and try to resolve the issues together !!!  

You should not take this crap from his another day !!!! Im sure that all of the mental abuse you have suffered has left you with little self esteem but please hear me loud and clear, do not tolerate or accept this abuse from him another day.  

I can guarantee you this, if he is starting to push you around now just wait 'till later. Your baby deserves alot better then this and i'm sure that you want better for your baby. Unless he is willing to work on his issues or it will get worse, I guarantee it !!!! I know trust me !!! 

If I was you I would definetly try to talk to him about this when all is calm in your household. Tell him how you feel and tell him that you will not tolerate one more day of abuse !!!  

You are the mother of his child and you deserve alot better then that !! 

Tell him that you will not accept his behavior or things will change.  

You have ressources out there to help you, there are places you can go that will keep you and your baby safe from the abuse. Go to the nearsest clinic and they will help you. :))) 

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that things get better for you. 

Hello, 

I know alot of people are saying that we did not deserve trips.  I do not think Dr. Phil commended our actions at all, but he did see more to our side than what was aired.  One of our biggest problems was that now I am a stay at home mom.  We have one income and we are very busy with our children now that our daughter is very active in school activities.  Even if we had the time we do not necessarily have the money to spend an evening out together.  In my letter to Dr. Phil I told him I miss my husband, and we get in the rut of life, we get exhausted from our daily duties and we unfortunately take each other for granted.  After awhile we DO start living our lives in a negative manner.  My husband and I never took a honeymoon, or a vacation in the last 4 years of our relationship.  Dr. Phil told us after the show that Tom and I were the inspiration to do the trips.  Not to reward us for our awful behavior, but to give us time to reconnect again on another level.  We can spend our time remembering why we got married.  I can tell you the week in California together was amazing.  I forgot that my husband was so fun to be around.  We had a wonderful time and that has spilled over into our lives again.  I know everyone has their own opinion, but please remember you only saw little pieces of our life.  We talked with the producers everyday, all day long for 4 days and they only show you the negative fighting and bickering that we did on the show.  My husband and I can get along very well, but it is getting fewer and fewer.  I was begging Dr. Phil to show me how to "fall back in love with my husband".  I think this was his answer, for us to spend "alone" time, without children, without work, and without our daily stress.  I'm also a college student, so for us to take a trip that we can afford right now probably wouldn't happen for another 3 years.  I don't think our relationship could handle that. 

Thanks, 

Nichole 

Thank you for those kind words.  I can not even explain to anyone, nor do I expect anyone to feel what I felt the day of the tire experiment.  We had 3 very early mornings of getting up at 5:30 am to work on projects all day long.  We sometimes did not get back to the hotel until very late.  Not to mention I live in a different time zone.  By the day we did the tire challenge and I lifted the tire, I felt every ounce of energy drain from my whole body.  I was sweating to death in that body suit and I felt the heat because whenever I need help my husband does it for me.  My husband loves control and I have found it so easy to rely on him.  I have NEVER had to do any maintenance on our cars ever.  My dad was never handy with cars and would rather pay anyone to fix it for him.  That was my breaking moment and watching the show I kept saying to myself "Quit Whining".  After that challenge my husband and I talked for a long time, because it brought out a lot of emotion from me.  When we arrived at the dance studio, my heart fell because my husband HATES to dance.  I was so proud that he learned this dance, and he actually lead me.  There were times that I forgot a move, but he LEAD ME!  When we got back to the hotel my husband was so excited he even asked to dance again in the room!!!!!  I (weirdly enough) learned alot from this lesson and our talk with Dr. Phil that maybe its Ok to not always be right, because Tom will be there to help me in the right direction.  He is a very strong provider, a nurturing father, and now I have to allow him the space to be a wonderful husband. 

Thanks, 

Nichole