Message Boards

Topic : 03/29 Next Generation of Moochers

Number of Replies: 358
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, November 04, 2005, 02:48:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard3

(Original Air Date: 11/09/05) Meet the "Boomerang Generation" -- children who attend college and then move back in with their parents after leaving the nest, sometimes multiple times. -- you can put a period at nest and delete sometimes multiple times.  Then, Kirsten, 36, has a great education but has depended on her family to take care of her for the last 18 years, and she's still living at home with her parents.  -- change to: Then, Kirsten, 36, has a great education but has depended on her family for the last 18 years, and she's still living at home with her folks.  Share your thoughts.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More March 2006 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 9, 2005, 7:28 am CST

Economic Realities

 Why doesnt Dr. Phil deal with this fact, that NO ONE would live at home given a choice? Many people CANT GET JOBS! or the pay is so low, they can't sustain even the most humble standard of living--ie keep rent paid and transportation. He calls them moochers while never facing the fact that the wages of todays especially entry level jobs are so low, no one can live on their own. What does a young adult do who makes so little money they have the choice between crawling to the ghetto, endangering their health or well-being or ending up in a shelter? Are those parents to tell them get out? 

 I believe the economic realities out there are ignored to the extreme. When most kids come crawling back home, they arent MOOCHERS, they are BROKE.  They are SICK, they are UNEMPLOYED.

I wish Dr. Phil would face the facts about the modern working world. That wages are so stagnant, people can barely make a living. Even older people are having a hard time making ends meet. . That even for many people especially young and inexperienced FINDING a job is near impossible.  There is a trend in society for wealthy or middle class Baby-Boomers to be told just throw those kids out. Used to be in the old days families did come together to share resources.  Not anymore.

Im tired of this whole MOOCHER mentality like they are all lazy instead of UNABLE TO GET A JOB.



 
November 9, 2005, 7:38 am CST

Right On

I was watching when your first guests were on the three adult children living in their parents trailer that they themselves are renting and about to be evicted. I watched as the plan to move them out was revealed and the look on the one daughter wearing the blue sweater was priceless. She did not like the idea one bit and the look on her face told it all. Dr. Phil was right when he said the parents were enabling them and so a viable alternative and fair solution was given. The son tried to lay a guilt trip on his parents when he said, "  well if they don't want us around ". When I was nineteen I was serving my country in the army and I knew I could never go back home even when I got out of the service. I just think these children weather or not the parents were enablers are a bunch of selfish individuals that are disrespecting their parents and everyone that are rightfully living there.Time to get out and get some pride and some right thinking. Lord help the prospective life mates they hook up with if they can. James
 
November 9, 2005, 7:39 am CST

Say waht?

My goodness, Nicki, you certainly are jumping to some rather harsh conclusions.  What makes you think this mother has "dropped out" of her children's lives?  Because she no longer lives with the father?  How do you know it wasn't HE who dropped her?  Maybe he was schtupping the secretary for all we know!  How dare you assume that this mother doesn't care - she obviously cares very deeply, because she is watching her ex enable her adult daughter into making a mess of her life!   

  

Clearly, the daughter has issues.   A father who allows her to live like a pig and have no responsibilities is NOT doing her any favors.  Mental illness/mental issues can be debilitating, but most of the time, they need not be.  With PROPER care and not mere excuse-making, many mental diseases can be properly diagnosed and treated.  IMO, you are just talking out of your butt.  Projecting, maybe? 

 
November 9, 2005, 8:04 am CST

next generation of moochers

I can totally relate to the daughter who just couldn't seem to get it together. I have lived with my mom twice now. once after I seperated from my husband (I had a job then that didnt cover mine and my 2 childrens expenses) and when my car broke down from commuting from one city to my home town to work.  

  

the second time I paid rent, but my mother didn't leave me enough money to save in order to move out. I was a teacher at the time so when my job ended and I couldnt pay any more rent - she grew angry and resentful and took it out on us. She was the one who asked us to move in.  

  

What do you think I should have done? Should I have moved into a shelter? She felt I was a moocher.  

  

  

 
November 9, 2005, 8:06 am CST

11/09 Next Generation of Moochers

Quote From: nightgoast

I was watching when your first guests were on the three adult children living in their parents trailer that they themselves are renting and about to be evicted. I watched as the plan to move them out was revealed and the look on the one daughter wearing the blue sweater was priceless. She did not like the idea one bit and the look on her face told it all. Dr. Phil was right when he said the parents were enabling them and so a viable alternative and fair solution was given. The son tried to lay a guilt trip on his parents when he said, "  well if they don't want us around ". When I was nineteen I was serving my country in the army and I knew I could never go back home even when I got out of the service. I just think these children weather or not the parents were enablers are a bunch of selfish individuals that are disrespecting their parents and everyone that are rightfully living there.Time to get out and get some pride and some right thinking. Lord help the prospective life mates they hook up with if they can. James

have to agree. All the children needed a reality check. We have to take responsibility for our actions and not use others or abuse their kindnesses. Bravo Dr. Phil! 

 
November 9, 2005, 8:08 am CST

11/09 Next Generation of Moochers

Quote From: kinksfan

 I've just turned 31 at the end of Last Month.  I've been living with my Folks up until now.  They're good people, but I'm not charged enough Rent, though I do pay some.  I feel that it's time for me to spread my Wings.  I have Aspergers and Depression, but that's no excuse for me not to have a subsidized Appartment of my own.

I have Asperger's, too (and probably some depression, but I haven't dealt with that as much as I should).  Sucks, doesn't it?  We look so normal and we seem so smart that nobody believes we need help.  I wish he'd do a show on that. 

 
November 9, 2005, 8:19 am CST

You have to be kidding!

I'm watching the show right now and these kids make me sick.  I am 24 and live at home with my mom and grandfather.  I moved back here when my grandmother passed away about a year ago.  I did this to help keep my grandfather from being alone.  Now, I have a job and I go to college.  I clean the house and I cook dinner and do the laundry.  I think kids like this should be kicked in the butt!  There is no need to mooch off of your parents.  The parents are helping the kids they love, but the kids are just using them.  How can the kids I'm watching on this show feel good about themselves when they are so clearly taking advantage of their parents? 

 
November 9, 2005, 8:22 am CST

Check again

Quote From: peepinbud

 Why doesnt Dr. Phil deal with this fact, that NO ONE would live at home given a choice? Many people CANT GET JOBS! or the pay is so low, they can't sustain even the most humble standard of living--ie keep rent paid and transportation. He calls them moochers while never facing the fact that the wages of todays especially entry level jobs are so low, no one can live on their own. What does a young adult do who makes so little money they have the choice between crawling to the ghetto, endangering their health or well-being or ending up in a shelter? Are those parents to tell them get out? 

 I believe the economic realities out there are ignored to the extreme. When most kids come crawling back home, they arent MOOCHERS, they are BROKE.  They are SICK, they are UNEMPLOYED.

I wish Dr. Phil would face the facts about the modern working world. That wages are so stagnant, people can barely make a living. Even older people are having a hard time making ends meet. . That even for many people especially young and inexperienced FINDING a job is near impossible.  There is a trend in society for wealthy or middle class Baby-Boomers to be told just throw those kids out. Used to be in the old days families did come together to share resources.  Not anymore.

Im tired of this whole MOOCHER mentality like they are all lazy instead of UNABLE TO GET A JOB.



He is not talking about people who cannot find a job and cannot provide for themselves.  He is talking about people who can, but don't.  They all said they are saving money to move out rather than helping pay the bills they are accumulating for their parents.  They have the ability to take care of themselves, they just don't.
 
November 9, 2005, 8:23 am CST

not enough money as a server??

I would be love to know where she worked. I have served tables for 16 years off and on. I would go to a job I would think is "better" to make better money. But I make more as a server. Anywhere between 400 to 500 a week. Sometimes more depending on how many days I work. And still get money back at end of the year due to claiming all my tips. And that is at Reg. little resturants in small towns. In a bigger town I can make more. That is more then enough to be able to provide for yourself. If I am not able to pay for my bills it is due to me spending it where I dont need it and just blowing on whatever strikes me at the time. But then I have to hussle and work even harder to get what I need back up to pay my bills.. But I do it. Work Ethic is really a thing that needs installed in kids nowadays. My parents taught me well and I am very gratefull of that!
 
November 9, 2005, 8:43 am CST

11/09 Next Generation of Moochers

Quote From: kleesun

Good for you, but without knowing more about the daughter I don't see how anyone can judge whether or not she should have been able to stay in school, is employable, etc.  While I agree that she doesn't seem to be pulling her own weight and that her dad doesn't sound like he's holding her accountable for anything, nobody here tell from that post how functional or not the girl is at the bottom of it all.  "Mental issues" is a very vague description, and I'm sure you know yourself that psychological problems come in a full range of types and severities. 

  

I'm learning disabled (and what I guess could be called "socially disabled"--I have problems interacting with people, which can make if extremely difficult to deal with professors, school counselors, etc.).  I went to a good four-year college and graduated, which was something my parents feared I would never be able to do.  I would not have been able to do it without their support.  Honestly, if they had been as big on "tough love" as some of my friends' parents, I would not have finished high school and , frankly, I probably would have committed suicide a long time ago.  I've learned to compensate for my disabilities as I've gotten older, which is a mixed blessing in that I am more functional, but it also makes it even more obvious to me how different I am, which is painful. 

  

I'm a little offended by what seems to me like generalization of the natures of adult children living at home.  We're not all spoiled, whining, sponges.  I came back home after college initially because I was having a hard time finding a job that I could live on, and my mother was ill and my father needed someone who could help with the housework that she couldn't do.  I've been out of college for five years and still live at home, but I have worked full-time the whole time, paid rent, do housework, run errands, paid for my own personal expenses, etc., etc.  I finally have a job that pays me decently and that gives me enough benefits that a couple of sick days won't put me behind, but I'm getting ready to go back to school and, once again, will not really have the money to move out.  My parents don't mind having me around but they do want me to be self-sufficient (which is why they are letting me stay if I go back to school).  They don't pay my expenses. 

  

I hate the term "Boomerang Generation", especially at a time when everyone is complaining about how much harder it is to earn a living.  I was paying $200 out-of-pocket a month for health insurance--I was 27, not overweight, never smoked, essentially never drank, never did drugs, did not sleep around, had no preexisting health conditions, etc..  It was ridiculous.  I got a sinus infection the week before a job interview and had to go to the doctor.  I didn't even get a real exam--the consultation and five antibiotic pills cost me almost $90 WITH INSURANCE.  I had to take an unpaid day off work to go. 

  

As far as I can tell, Jay still does quite a bit of work for his dad, and I'm sure that being Dr. Phil's son hasn't hurt his situation in life at all.  If Dr. Phil is really going to talk about the Boomerang Generation, how about some discussion of costs of living and diminished employment compensation instead of just pointing out how spoiled and worthless we all are?  I hate to see the "kids" on this show held up as examples of my generation and my situation.   

 I agree, I hate the term Boomerrange Generation.

Lets face facts Generation X and now this present Generation HAVE NOT done as well as the BABY BOOMER generation, and its not due to lack of hard work, skills or more. The middle class in this country is disappearing.

I am glad your family has helped and you have been able to contribute to the household. Some families the parents are so rich, and so out of touch that even if the adult son or daughter contributes to the rent, they are resentful and have no understanding of why they have not acheived the same amount of wealth. Some wealthy families share the wealth like with Dr. Phil helping Jay get a step up. But some parents drop kick the kids out the backdoor, after they had grown up in households where such parents shopped for recreation, and never went short of a dollar totally unprepared for what the real world is like or even what MOST jobs pay.

There are jobs now, I have realized PAY THE SAME EXACT AMOUNT that they did back in 1990. Prices have gone far higher.

Unless one owns their own business, has been able to achieve professional status as a doctor, engineer or lawyer, having a "JOB" or even a college degree now, is no guarantee of a sustainable income.

As for the family of 13, I kept finding myself thinking if there wasnt so much resentment, they could have all pulled together and actually all shared in a better standard of living like getting a LARGER place to live.

Its sad when you see 20 and 30 something sons and daughters of upper middle class plus people living in the ghetto, and having to go down to the church pantry for food, because their jobs dont pay enough and going without decent medical care.  [this happened to me] One can choose NOT to mooch on parents, but that doesnt always turn out good either. Living in desperate poverty doesnt do wonders for ones health, mental well-being or future.

Families used to pull together in the old days, sharing resources and more. Now the parents throw their kids out once they turn 18 or 21 and say sink or swim. And these same people will be crying in 30 years when same kids shove them into a nursing home.  People just dont care about each other anymore.

As for the 36 year old daughter, I wonder why her seemingly well-off parents didnt help her with a job. Why is she working as a waitress? She MAKES NO MONEY. So wonder she feels desperate.
Again Im going back to my theme unless  aperson has a steady sustainable income, I dont care if they are a MOOCH or NOT a MOOCH, they wont be able to take care of themselves!  If the parents are more centered in resentment rather then trying to actually help their daughter rather then keeping her down....she will not be given any step up.



 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last