Topic : 11/11 Dating Disasters

  Speaking of  eharmony.  I would love to see a couple who have been married a long time  ( like my husband and myself 32 years !!) take the eharmony test and see if we end  up with each other.  Now that would be funny.  Those test are so stupid. because marriage is a life long process two people work at until one of them is dead .    Every couple in the world could have gotten divorced over something but the hard part is choosing to walk it out.

 Something must be said about the 'perfect 10'  It changes like the minutes. Obviously, marriage for Angel is not an option. You cannot have this mental block and attempt a relationship of any kind. I think its best to leave relationships to those that value the work, dedication and constant appreciation that it takes.

Angel needs to search out or make herself available to those that she values and for right now she has high expectations - not such a bad thing in my book, provided they are reasonable expectations. If you are single - enjoy being single and when you are ready to join a relationship then do the work to make it real and lasting ;)

Mrs. G

 eHarmony and the like have no value and should not even be included in a conversation about love, marriage and relationships. Its embarassing to see women and men devalue  human contact and all that marriage and love has to offer by portraying themselves as leftovers and societies throwaways. I can see it as entertainment....possibly...somewhat like those hideous gossip magazines.  Does one honestly think that there is respect and admiration to be found here? Personally, these sites and matchmaking organizations are the equivalent of a brothel...you best put yourself on the corner and catch the best thing rounding the bend. What are we teaching the generation behind us watching the selling block ..moreover...what would you tell your children attempting to find love like this!? Madness....

Mrs.G

I cannot believe that a 27 woman even ALLOWS her mother to accompany her on a date.  Mom needs to get her own life & leave her daughter's alone!

 I also don't believe in online dating.  Why take something that should be a personal and intimate experience and religate it to the online world which is none of these things.

In regards to the "Perfect 10" thing,  that isn't something that has a finite definition.  Any relationship is always growing and evolving.  People change and what people want changes.   However I would say that I could never marry someone who I didn't think was the most beautiful I had ever seen.   I just couldn't do it any other way.

I am currently using match.com and now I am wondering WHY? I have been on a couple of dates, the one guy I thought we hit it off had alot in common and  then get an e-mail stating we don't have any chemisrty (at least he was honest). Give me a break after one date and he can already tell. I have sent pics of myself to some of these guys and then you don't hear back from them. I am not a tall blonda with big boobs, but I am an attractive woman. So as far as I am concerned this is not the place to try to meet a mate.    

  

I also don't want to sit in the bar trying to meet someone. I am 41, any ideas on how to meet a decent man???   

 Don't give up on e-dating just yet.  I met my husband on-line, and it is the most loving,  mutually respectful relationship.  It CAN work and it has worked for many couples.  But, just like 'real life' dating, you have to use some common sense.  I met a few toads along the way as well, but when I finally met my future husband it was different.  You have to be honest, and at the same time, don't be gullible enough to think that everyone else is being honest with you.  If there are red flags going  up, don't ignore them.  Now, grant it, maybe I was lucky,,,maybe it was 'destiny', as some of my friends have said, but I don't believe that.  I think you have to work at e-dating just as much, if not more than in 'real life' dating.  By the time my husband and I had our first meeting we were so comfortable with each other that it just seemed natural.  And we did spend a lot of time 'real life' dating after that initial meeting before we decided that we would spend the rest of our lives together.  It's a slow process, getting to REALLY know someone, and I think way too many people try to rush it.   We worked very hard at getting to know not only each other, but each other's families.  His mother and I are very close, and I thank her every day for raising such an awesome son.  He has so much respect for women and  makes me feel like I am the most special woman in the world.  We have never even had our first fight yet and we have been married for 4 years.  (That's a whole other story,,,,we keep trying to plan our first fight because we hear the 'making up' is so much fun, but we always get laughing so hard when we try that we haven't been able to actually have one yet...lol)
There ARE men out there who are wonderful, funny, loving, respectful guys,,,,you just need to keep looking.   And you have to a good steward of that love.  As Dr. Phil says 'You teach people how to treat you', so teach them that you are worthy of a loving relationship, and you will attract the right guy eventually. 
Good luck and I hope it all works out for you whatever you decide to do.

I agreed with the person about dating on the internet.  I have had 4 date.  On the first date, we go out for something to eat.  I live at the beach. Wildwood, N. J.  We go for a walk after eating , and all they want to do is kiss.  They use the tongue and the whole mouth.  I think that they are only after lust.  I try to keep conversation going. but to no luck..  They want to take me home, but I say not on the first date. I meet them at a spot that I pick out.  I tell them on the phone before the first date.. that I want to take it slowly, but they donj't listen.  After December, I am giving up. If if is meet for me to marry or have a boyfriend again it will be in God hands.  I am getting on with my life. 

Internet dating is only a means of meeting people, nothing more.  The two people will either hit it off, find an attraction, or not.  It is no different than meeting someone at a social event for the first time. The internet is simply a way for single people to meet other single people in their area that they would never otherwise meet.  Many singles do not have the opportunity to meet people at work, they do not like to hang out in bars, and they do not feel comfortable trying to approach people they may run into in public, not knowing if they are single or not. 

  

I met my current boyfriend on match.com.  He has been wonderful, and we both feel such a strong connection to each other, and so comfortable together.  In December we will have been together one year.  He has been one of the greatest relationships in my life.  And no, there are not guarantees it will work out.  But there would be no guarantee either, had I met him across the produce island at the market. 

  

Don't be so critical of something you know nothing about.