It is one thing to forgive such wickedness as a father (stepfather, father figure or any adult!) sexually abusing a child, but for her to put her own child in harms way is just as insane as a pervert doing perverted things with underage, children or unwilling adults! She is a pervert's inabler! I agree with what Dr. Phil clearly said, even under the best conditions, where a willing Child Molester gets long term, GOOD therapy, the chance of the child molester repeating this behavior is nearly 100%. And from the brief comments the show aired from the pervert/father, he drastically mimimized, and neutralized, and negated the harm that he did to children by molesting them! is she really in such deep denial about the DANGER she puts her own child in by letting her perverted father EVER be unsupervised with any child! Maybe by allowing her perverted dad be alone with her child this is her MESSED UP way of showing her dad she trusts him and believes in him! I don't know!!! But what ever the reason, the results are the SAME! She is putting a child in harms way every time she leaves the two of them alone! I'm glad the child's 2 aunts speak up and out and brought her to the Dr. Phil show so she can hopefully learn how dangerous her behavior is! Her thinking is completly screwed up! Holly, wake up! The Big BAD Wolf is after your little girl! Holly, you may WANT your daddy to be a safe, healthy, changed Dad/Grandpa, but you wanting it will not make it happen! Pedifiles are sick human beings! They are con artists that talk a good talk! They are awesome guilt trippers, and the promise promise promise! and they LIE LIE LIE! When their lips are moving they are Lieing, and PLANNING the next opportunity to con adults and victimize children. Mommies like you make it easy for them! You buy into their lies.
I believe you really believed you were not putting your daughter in harm's way! I know how believable a Pedifile can be. I believe you believed him! But he is a sick man, not worthy of your trust, and definatly not safe to be alone with a child, ever, not even when a responsible adult is in the VERY next room! It is difficult to believe how trusting, and believable a Pedifile can and does come across! You got conned by a dangerous con artist! I believe you wanted what all woman of abusive fathers want: for the abusive dad to become kind, and safe, and a loving, trustworthy part of the family, again! But wanting it badly won't make it happen! Talk to a good Therapist who is an expert on this topic, and who knows each of the people involved well, but it is a possibility that the best case scenerio could possibly be would be for your dad to tell you that he wants to not be tempted to molest a child any more, but may not trust himself. Maybe he could reach a point (IF this does in fact apply to the situation, that is!) that he is able to tell you and maybe the other 2 step sisters that he wants to be in his daughters lives and their children's lives, but knows the wisest, safest way is for there to always be responsible adults around at all times aware of his history. Accept reality and his realistic limitations. There is an expression, "If you hang around the Barber Shop long enough, You're GOING to get a hair cut!" To leave him alone with a child isn't doing your dad any favor's either. If the Pedifile has a sence of right and wrong, and a sence of guilt when he does wrong things, they tend to feel guilty for being a Pedifile! When they are put in the line of temptation, and re-offend a child, they feel guilty, and WANT to stop. But being put in a situation where the temptation is SO great, and there is privacy, and free access to their 'drug of choice' their hopes to be decent and appropriate with a child is often overwhelmed by the impulsiveness to repeat Pedifilia. Even if a Pedifile'white knuckles it' and manages to be alone with a child with out offending that time, it is likely that he (or she) is thinking about Inappropriate behavior with a child, and planning the next event. Don't try to show your respect and loyality to your daddy by handing your child over as prey to the Wolf! Misplaced loyality and trust isn't healthy for any one. It is the Nature of a Child Molester to Molest Children!
There are different degrees of Co-Dependency. When I first learned what Co-Dependency was, and realized that things I'd done, with a good heart attitude, with the best, loving, helpful intentions, were really harmful Co-Dependant behaviors, I was shocked and stunned! I felt tricked. I honestly had believed I'd been doing healthy, kind things for someone I loved. When I learned that what I had been doing was enabeling distructive, harmful behaviors to get worse I felt tricked and betrayed and so STUPID! BUT, at the time I did not know I was doing harm, and not good! Now I know, and I can DO better, now that I KNOW better. Sometimes lessons sting!
I wish you, and your entire family nothing but the best. All of you will be in my prayers, and there is plenty of room in my life for prayers from you, too! I believe the show ended on an up beat, showing that all 3 girls better understood one another. I believe all 3 sisters love one another, dearly, and want the best for one another. I'm glad arrangements were made for the 3 of them to stay in town and visit, and to get home town counseling for every body! I believe every body can use counseling from time to time in our lives. This was a very powerful show! Thank you Dr. Phil! And Holly, thanks for being brave enough to be on the show and hearing out what was said! I believe in you, Holly! I wish you and yours the best life has to offer! What a diffrence a day makes!
(Original Air Date: 11/21/06) Do you have a secret that burns inside of you and you've been hanging onto it since you were a child? Dr. Phil speaks with three sisters whose lives and relationships have been gravely affected by their own childhood secret. Cathy and Micki say their stepfather abused them as children and they want nothing to do with him. But their half-sister, Hollie, says her father has changed and it's time they forgive and forget. Cathy and Micki speak out about what really happened to them as children and why Hollie needs to be concerned. Then, a message from their stepfather has Cathy and Micki outraged. Can these divided women heal their painful pasts and come together as sisters? Talk about the show here.
