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Topic : 06/29 House Call Intervention

Number of Replies: 221
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 03:35:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/01/05) Imagine finding your son passed out in his room with drug paraphernalia surrounding his body. When that happened to one mother, she made an important call for help. Dr. Phil’s son, Jay, was working with a family for his new reality show when the mom, Vikki, phoned to say that her son, Justin, had been lost to drugs. Dr. Phil made a surprise house call and insisted that the teen get help immediately. Find out what happens with Justin, and why Vikki thinks she's to blame for his drug use. Then, a stay-at-home mother of three was drinking bottles of wine and vodka every day -- she would even fill a sports drink bottle with alcohol and take it to her kids' school events. Did she break her deadly addiction? Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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December 1, 2005, 2:48 pm CST

It will get better!!!!

Hello my name is Tabitha.  I just wanted to tell Justin and his family that It will get better I promise.  I also was in Justin's shoes not to long ago.  My children were taken from my house hold because of my past drug addiction to speed.  I am now in the process of getting my children back. I am also struggling on getting my family back but I am getting them back it just takes one day at a time.  When Justin comes home I know that it will be hard to trust him again, but I promise you will.  Just take it one day at a time. When he comes home make sure his friends are not influencing him.  His best bet is to stay clear of them.  It will be hard for him but he can do it. I don't know how you feel about God, but he is here for you and Justin. I will pray for you and your loved ones.  

  

Your friend, 

Tabitha 

 
December 1, 2005, 2:49 pm CST

Either Or!

Quote From: dolypahd

I have caught my youngest son smoking pot several times, do random drug testing, and he failed the last one - I found a smaller but similar pipe in his room as well.  How do you know if you child has a problem or is just experiementing?  I have grounded him, etc., and tried to hold him accountable w/the random testing.  He says he has not done any other type of drug but he has consumed alcohol - easy to get, and everyone does it.  It is not acceptable and I worry about him .. and what to do next. 
To me I dont think that it matters. If they have a need or excuse to experiment something is going on. I know for me I use in order to change the way I feel. So what is it that your son does not like about himslef when he is not using. I am not saying this is the case for all. However if he has gone to the extent of having a pipe it is probably more than experimentation. We use to change or alter what we are feeling. It makes us feel better. Better than what is the question. Find out what is going before it escalates. rufus.inc@cablespeed.com I know the children are our future and worthy of investing the time energy and efforts to save them. We must save our children.
 
December 1, 2005, 2:54 pm CST

12/01 House Call Intervention

Quote From: dolypahd

I have caught my youngest son smoking pot several times, do random drug testing, and he failed the last one - I found a smaller but similar pipe in his room as well.  How do you know if you child has a problem or is just experiementing?  I have grounded him, etc., and tried to hold him accountable w/the random testing.  He says he has not done any other type of drug but he has consumed alcohol - easy to get, and everyone does it.  It is not acceptable and I worry about him .. and what to do next. 
Please begin by understanding that there is NO such thing as "JUST EXPERIEMENTING"!  Try getting him into treatment now before it's too late.  Good Luck.
 
December 1, 2005, 2:58 pm CST

Where to start?

 What advice is given for the best place to gather information on how to get started?  Like today's guests, we think it may be a possibility that our 21 year old son is involved with drugs.  No evidence, but strong suspicions.  What can we read, where do we visit the web to get a strong foundation so we can confidently confront him?  We want to be prepared and provide more help than harm.  Thanx.
 
December 1, 2005, 3:02 pm CST

Dr.Phil son

well I want to let Dr.Phil  and his son know that from what I see they are great, What a teriffic son to call his dad out and help these people. You both are so generous and unselfish to give this kind of care to people. I am a very avid watcher of the show, I record it on my DVR to watch his shows more than once. You are a great man Dr. Phil and your family is blessed to have you. You have a beautiful family and your wife I think is very adorbale the way she supports you on everything and every show.  Thank you for you all being a great family and God bless you all. 

  

Thank you, 

EBielenda 

 
December 1, 2005, 3:04 pm CST

slowpoke

I was watching the show today - 12/1/05 - and when they showed the sign to the rehab center realized i had been there! not to rehabilitate but because my moms a social worker and we were driving back from vacation in Hunt, Texas and she saw it and realized she sent people there. I didn't get to go inside because its not allowed but i saw the parking lot! :)   

I don't usually watch this show but i was bored and watched it on our dvr, and when i saw that it made me want to tell everyone for some reason. 

 
December 1, 2005, 3:05 pm CST

Interested

I enjoyed todays show and was encouraged to see that there are positive and invested people to assist in these type of situations. I have not had such a positive and/or supportive experience. I don't know if this is because my experience involves an adult as opposed to a child... Our family is in the middle of the treatment process (for the third time) and it gets discouraging but seeing shows that exemplify a supportive journey, not only for the addict but also for the family is encouraging. I entered into this with no real knowledge of what it really meant when someone was an alcoholic or the devastation the disease inflicts on everyone involved. Learning what an alcoholic is like to live with and the ride they can take you on as well as learning to disengage is numbing at times. I have a lot to learn and we as a family have a long way to go. I wish everyone in the show the courage and strength to persevere. 
 
December 1, 2005, 3:06 pm CST

12/01 House Call Intervention

I too have had trouble with my son and I too know what that mother is feeling. My son was 15 years old when we (his dad and I) caught on to what was going on. During his growing up years he had participated in nearly all sports, he had passed every grade and was in the Honor's band. His freshman year of high school was when everything went out of control for him and for us. While dealing with this horror, my husband lost his job and I was cut down to part-time work. 

  

From what I read on one of the message boards, a mother said she didn't have anyone to help her. In the end our medical insurance company provided the catalyst. I urge her to contact her own insurance company or see if a friend could contact theirs and maybe a kind soul there can help.  

  

The police could not help (after one violent episode the officer told my husband that this house was our son's too and he could destroy it if he wanted to). The doctors could not help (after my son came home staggering with red, glassy eyes and complaining of a splitting headache I took him to an Emergency Care and requested a full urine sample. I asked the doctor about those cold medicines and couldn't he take too many of those pills. She LAUGHED at me and said no one would do that...they'd have to take way too many. She gave him a prescription for a sinus infection. As we were checking out, my son put his arm around my shoulder and said, 'See mom, I told you I was okay.' I just broke down and started crying and told him I didn't care what the doctor said, I KNEW he was not 'okay'.). 

  

As a mother, you feel like a failure. You didn't see the signs. You didn't protect your child. You didn't spend enough time with him. You didn't, You didn't You didn't. The guilt is almost overwhelming and after it's over there's a sadness at all that was lost and at the price your son will have to pay for years on down the road brought on by that time of rebellion and addiction. 

  

I urge you mothers to stay strong as your child battles with his demons. He's the one that started it and he's got to be the one to end it. We told our son if he wanted to live on the streets that was his choice and  by choosing drugs that was the ultimate choice he was making. We told him that when he turned 18, that if he was not in school we were kicking him out of the house. On his 18th birthday he moved out. And this is the hard part....mom, let him go. Do not bail him out of jail. Do not take him back into your house without him taking a drug test. Do not let him manipulate you.  Let him draw from the well of your resolve. 

  

Today, our son is back home. He got his GED, took college classes this summer and he's in college now taking 12 college credit hours. He's working a full-time job and also working towards a future. He's also seeing a lot of his old 'friends' pictures in the obituary section of the paper and others going to jail.   

  

In closing mom and dad, I urge you to attend a church and draw closer to God during this horrible time. God will give you the strength, the hope you so desperately need. In the end you will read the poem, 'Footprints in the Sand' with a grateful heart. 

  

From one who's been there... 

  

 
December 1, 2005, 3:12 pm CST

12/01 House Call Intervention

Quote From: rjchamen

I watched Thursday’s episode with a very heavy heart and in tears.  I e-mailed you last July with a plea for some help to keep my daughter in Sundown Ranch, a drug-rehab in East Texas.  My daughter had been place there as a compromise for breaking her probation.  She was there for 44 days and released without any advanced notice in July because there was no more insurance available and no more personal funds.  She participated in an intensive outpatient program when she returned home but within two weeks (I found later) she was back involved in using.   

 

  

 

  

Things escalated.  She took my rental car without permission…and without a driver’s license.  Two other times she took her sister’s car.  She was in the company of people much older than her and people willing to get her anything she wanted.  And she was willing to do anything they wanted in order to get it. 

 

  

 

  

After taking her sister’s car the second time, that we know of, she was ordered back to inpatient rehab.  Within two weeks she was sent back to JDC because she decided she didn’t want to get better.  She stole and broke a counselor’s cell phone so she found herself back in JDC and on her way to North Texas State Hospital for long-term rehab. 

 

  

 

  

She is on probation for family assault.  She blames everyone but herself for her problems except those days she needs something and she can be very remorseful and willing to work.  Her history includes weed (at age 13 from a friend’s parent), alcohol, inhalants, crack, ice, Meth (and all the other names there are for it).  The final thing was skin popping heroin.   She says she has been gang raped.  She says she has “done” both girls and guys in order to get what she wanted.  These are the things I know about. 

 

  

 

  

I know that I was the best parent I knew how to be.  I tried the family meetings, talks, being present at events with her and her sisters.  I am sure there are some things I could have done better. There were some really hard places in our lives over the years but not so hard that this should have been the result.   

 

  

 

  

She does seem to be doing better and says she is willing to be there as long as she needs to be.  I am just not convinced yet.  She will most likely be there until June 25, 2006.  Her sister’s have no relationship with her and I dread the day she comes home for three reasons…the fights will begin again or her sister’s will become distanced from me because of her or she will do what she has threatened for so long and that is to go live with her “boyfriend” who has been involved in drugs with her.     

 

  

 

  

I am not sure why I am writing.  I don’t expect anything and am not in a position to make this a public story.  I am a pastor in a local congregation.  Someday I will share this story but not while we are still trying to find our way.  I just find myself not very hopeful for the family on TV.  The young man doesn’t seem to be really ready and 5 weeks is certainly not enough time to prepare him for the pressures that will come to continue using from his old friends when he returns.  I trust that La Hacienda is a great place and I do pray that this young man and all those who are suffering with an addiction will find their way through this struggle. 

 

  

 

  

You should tell her to stop or its over. You probably already have but keep bugging her. Also say that your not just doing it for you but for her, its always been for her and not just so you can annoy her. 

 
December 1, 2005, 3:23 pm CST

12/01 House Call Intervention

Quote From: suzannekin

I am going to be 45 years old in January.  I am a wife, mother and grandmother, and a drug user.  I became addicted to hydrocodone after a car accident in which my neck was broken, along with other serious injuries.  I should have known better than to take pain killers.  I have a history of drug and alcohol abuse.  I started drinking when I was 12 hears old.  By the time I was eighteen I was smoking pot and snorting cocaine.  I stopped drinking when I became pregnant with my first child, but I didn't stop smoking pot.  In 1996 I was diagnosed as Bipolar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  In 1997 I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital due to a severe manic episode.  Over the next few years I was kept so heavily sedated that I now have what is known as drug induced amnesia.  I literally cannot remember almost 7 years of my life.  I cannot remember my older children's high school graduations, or my youngest child's first foot steps and first Christmases.  When I look in the mirrror, I hate what I see.  I see a face and body that has been abused and mistreated by their owner, me.  This past year has been especially rough.  I have had some problems in my marriage which led me to go deeper into my drug use.  I use the pain killers to kill the pain that is in my heart and soul.  I have never  been able to hold a job because of the cycling of Bipolar disorder.  I am alienated from my family.  I love my husband so much, yet live in constant fear that he is going to leave me for another woman.  I have spent over half my life trying to escape the hurt and pain that dwells inside.  I come from a dysfunctional family and now I am afraid that is what I am passing on to my children.  Right now I have no medical insurance and cannot afford to pay for therapy or the medication for my mental illness.  I don't know what I am going to do.  But I do hope that whoever reads this message will hear what I am trying to say.  A life of drugs is no life at all.  Before you know it, you wake up and you are 45 years old and you wonder where did time go and why didn't you do things differently.  The regrets are overwhelming, and there is nothing you can do to turn back time.  I would give anything to find a little hope that the next 45 years of my life will be better than the first.  I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up.  I want to be a better wife, mother and grandmother.  But no one is coming to my rescue.  No one ever has, no matter how loud I've cried out for help.
Wow, I know some of your pain. I have been through a lot of what you have. No drugs, just the alcohol. I really do wish that there was some way for us to get the much needed help we both need. I also have bipolar, I was diagnosed 10 years ago. I have suceeded once in taking my life and somehow I am still here. I have been hospitalized at least 4 times for the bipolar and been through detox twice with no results, except to be sent to the whiny AA meetings. I also can't keep a job, and I have walked away from my kids because it was the best thing for them! My daughter was supposed to come and live with me and my new husband this year~ her choice, and I had to turn her away and tell her to stay with her Dad because it was the best and most stable choice for her. My husband is a wonderful, caring man. I have no idea why he is with me, I am a totally different person when I am drinking. I have had flash backs to my rape at the age of 13, and the physical abuse from my 2nd ex-husband while drunk. I would like to think that there is hope out there for me but I just turned 34 four days ago and I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
 
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