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Topic : 03/31 Love Smart, Part 1

Number of Replies: 209
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, December 02, 2005, 03:45:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/06/05) It's Dr. Phil after dark! Dr. Phil is having a champagne party - with an audience full of single men and women looking to meet Mr. and Ms. Right. Using his new book, Love Smart: Find the One You Want - Fix the One You Got, Dr. Phil teaches these singles how to be smart when it comes to love and relationships, and how to "bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home!" Noelle says she's a horrible dater and never gets called back for date number two. Dr. Phil sends her out with a man and critiques her technique. How is she sending the wrong message? Then, a beauty queen who never thought she would still be single at 37 says her biological clock is "gonging!" Does this mean she'll put up with just about anything? Dr. Phil puts her to the test. And, three single women who are looking for love in all the wrong places want Dr. Phil to help them find Mr. Right. See what happens when they participate in revolving dates while Dr. Phil coaches them through an earpiece. Whether you can't find a good candidate, can't close the deal, or get them home and realize they aren't who you thought they were -- you are about to earn your black belt in relationships! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

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April 2, 2006, 12:19 pm CDT

best of luck to you with making him pay

Quote From: iloveric

THERE IS A COP IN MISSOURI THAT RAPED MY 15 YR OLD DAUGHTER DROVE TO WISCONSIN..... HE SHOULD HAVE A JOB THERE SOMEWHERE CUZ THEY HAD PROOF BUT IT ISNT GOING ANYWHERE......
i talked with the cops here in iowa at least the one i talked to told me because he is a legal resident of my house i needed more proof than what my doctor says it makes me outraged that nobody understands my torment of seeing him everyday and know he will not even get in trouble that to me sends him the message that it's okay to rape someone when they are passed out it was my stupidity to drink that much to put myself in that state but i never thought he would ever go this far out of sexual frustration i feel for your doctor i now understand what rape victims truely feel there was a cop in my hometown that was caught soliciting sex with minors it made me sick
 
April 2, 2006, 9:04 pm CDT

Get the word out

After watching friday's show love smart (repeat) show that I'd missed I'm inclined to agree with nurse about the type of men and women the show finds dates for.  As a baby boomer that has explored different venues of meeting others I believe it's time that a face or faces were put on the problems that older women encounter when trying to meet someone.  I'd like to take it a step further, as an articulate, educated, witty person- with cerebral palsy I use a wheelchair to get around and trying to find a date with a modicum of intelligence and intergrity seems like a foreign concept.  I have yet to see any program that addresses this issue even remotely.  The disabled community struggles with issues of inclusion in every area of society constantly. America listens to and respects what Dr Phil has to say ....How about taking the bull by the horns with this one Dr Phil?
 
April 3, 2006, 1:22 pm CDT

Scary...

Gosh, the more I read this message board, the more depressed I become, LOL... 

  

Adding to the misery, I just got out of an 11 year relationship (getting out was not my choice; turned in for a younger model) that I got into when in my mid-30s and still looking pretty good...  Of course age isn't the reason given, but I suspect it's the reason (mid-life crisis symptoms on his part)...  There were signs early on -- he was horrified by older women and commented "she's looking old" a lot -- but I somehow thought this wouldn't apply to me and our True Love would protect me... 

  

Now in my later 40s and realized I "wasted the pretty," as the saying goes...  It's seriously upsetting to realize we're out of the running because we've past a certain age, but unfortunately there's plenty of anthropologic and sociologic research to back it (men are attracted to younger -- read, fertile -- women on a biological basis, whether they actually want [more] children or not; they can't help it; likewise, younger women are attracted to "good providers," read: rich men).  Find a good hobby, gals.  For me, it's not going to be desperately seeking another mate.  I also don't play the lottery... 

 
April 4, 2006, 2:23 am CDT

On the flip side...

Quote From: naturesgir

Gosh, the more I read this message board, the more depressed I become, LOL... 

  

Adding to the misery, I just got out of an 11 year relationship (getting out was not my choice; turned in for a younger model) that I got into when in my mid-30s and still looking pretty good...  Of course age isn't the reason given, but I suspect it's the reason (mid-life crisis symptoms on his part)...  There were signs early on -- he was horrified by older women and commented "she's looking old" a lot -- but I somehow thought this wouldn't apply to me and our True Love would protect me... 

  

Now in my later 40s and realized I "wasted the pretty," as the saying goes...  It's seriously upsetting to realize we're out of the running because we've past a certain age, but unfortunately there's plenty of anthropologic and sociologic research to back it (men are attracted to younger -- read, fertile -- women on a biological basis, whether they actually want [more children or not; they can't help it; likewise, younger women are attracted to "good providers," read: rich men).  Find a good hobby, gals.  For me, it's not going to be desperately seeking another mate.  I also don't play the lottery... 

For whatever it's worth I am sorry you've had to go through this.  I just hope that you don't give up the belief you've once had that there really is such a thing as "true love."  If there's anything this culture needs today it is role models of just such a thing.  I don't think that there was a better eye opening look at what is stereotypical of our culture today than the opinions given as "deal breakers" for potential mates on Dr. Phils "Love Smart Island."  "I can't date a man who has hair on his chest."  "I can't date a man who wears athletic shoes with blue jeans." I mean please!  Now i am not pointing fingers at women here because I hear the same words coming out of mens mouths.  It's just that these were statements made on national television and regardless of sex I feel that they probably do provide a pretty good representation of the "norm" today.   

  

With regards to your statement about being out of the running because of the preferences of men I would have to disagree.  I am not saying that it doesn't exist, but I am saying that there are a lot of men, myself included that think that a woman in her forties/fifties who takes pride in herself, who wants to look and be her best, has integrity and character, is absolutely drop dead gorgeous!  I'd take Lauren Hutton over most women half her age.  Lack of depth and immaturity leaves me cold everytime.  I get approached a lot by younger women because I look nearly twenty years younger than I am (the Tom Hanks gene) and while the attention is flattering at times the rest of the package isn't. 

  

I used to belong to several internet dating sites and the title I saw on more womens profiles than any other was "Are there any good guys left?"  Pardon me for being so bold, but I have to say that there are and at the risk of coming across as arrogant I think I'm one of them.  Still I managed to bat 1000 on blow offs (hence the "used to belong")  Did you say you had some cheese to go with my whine?  LOL!  Hey, all in fun, but true nonetheless.   So there you have the flip side. 

  

You are right to not be "desperately seeking another mate."  But I do hope that you are seeking one "wisely."    Desperation is a turn off and any man worth having would sense it and run the other way just as he would bitterness.  Both men and women, myself included shoot themselves in the foot by carrying that around and victimizing an innocent person.  

  

I hope that you will have the courage to risk love again because it really does exist in the "real world."  We all desperately need those kinds of heroes today.   

  

Don't give up girl ~ Dennis  

 
April 4, 2006, 10:07 am CDT

Thanks, Dennis...

Quote From: godstride

For whatever it's worth I am sorry you've had to go through this.  I just hope that you don't give up the belief you've once had that there really is such a thing as "true love."  If there's anything this culture needs today it is role models of just such a thing.  I don't think that there was a better eye opening look at what is stereotypical of our culture today than the opinions given as "deal breakers" for potential mates on Dr. Phils "Love Smart Island."  "I can't date a man who has hair on his chest."  "I can't date a man who wears athletic shoes with blue jeans." I mean please!  Now i am not pointing fingers at women here because I hear the same words coming out of mens mouths.  It's just that these were statements made on national television and regardless of sex I feel that they probably do provide a pretty good representation of the "norm" today.   

  

With regards to your statement about being out of the running because of the preferences of men I would have to disagree.  I am not saying that it doesn't exist, but I am saying that there are a lot of men, myself included that think that a woman in her forties/fifties who takes pride in herself, who wants to look and be her best, has integrity and character, is absolutely drop dead gorgeous!  I'd take Lauren Hutton over most women half her age.  Lack of depth and immaturity leaves me cold everytime.  I get approached a lot by younger women because I look nearly twenty years younger than I am (the Tom Hanks gene) and while the attention is flattering at times the rest of the package isn't. 

  

I used to belong to several internet dating sites and the title I saw on more womens profiles than any other was "Are there any good guys left?"  Pardon me for being so bold, but I have to say that there are and at the risk of coming across as arrogant I think I'm one of them.  Still I managed to bat 1000 on blow offs (hence the "used to belong")  Did you say you had some cheese to go with my whine?  LOL!  Hey, all in fun, but true nonetheless.   So there you have the flip side. 

  

You are right to not be "desperately seeking another mate."  But I do hope that you are seeking one "wisely."    Desperation is a turn off and any man worth having would sense it and run the other way just as he would bitterness.  Both men and women, myself included shoot themselves in the foot by carrying that around and victimizing an innocent person.  

  

I hope that you will have the courage to risk love again because it really does exist in the "real world."  We all desperately need those kinds of heroes today.   

  

Don't give up girl Dennis  

I don't consider myself bitter, but I am a realist and pragmatic; after all, the old joke "I traded in my 40-year-old wife for two 20s" isn't an old joke for nuthin'...  ; /  Of course, it takes only ONE guy, and many are lucky enough to find him...  My philosophy has always been (even when I was 20) "If it's meant to be, it'll happen"; if not, I'll enjoy my life anyway.  If it's in a relationship, that's gravy...  If not, it's certainly not going to ruin it or become my major preoccupation.  You have to be okay without it.  I think far too many women view relationships (or, worse yet, marriage) as the Holy Grail; don't forget, ladies, that 50% of them end in divorce; 80% of subsequent marriages; then there are all those men dying before the women (dunno statistics on widows); we're born alone, we die alone. 

  

So learn to love it!!! 

 
June 12, 2006, 3:48 am CDT

sanding Vs Grinding?

Quote From: wespauley

My dad told me before he died that a famous preacher once stated "Women are the sandpaper that God uses to knock the rough edges off of men". I will be the first to admit that I (and most men I know) could use a little fine tuning, but there is a huge difference between a little sanding and major grinding.

After reading this message I have to say something about this from my percpective.  

   

Although men has caused a lot of pain in my life I cannot discredit the men that remain in my life and who are being used of God to shape and mold me into the woman that He created me to be.  

   

Here is a thought and I would like to hear what other's would think about this...  

   

I had watched TV showes like Everybody Loved Raymond, King of Queens and other comedy shows.  Most, if not all, make men out to be losers, and quite stupid, I feel as though this kind of degrades men and I think that affects how men respond out in the world today.  

   

What would people say to that?  

   

And for others who might be reading this...what would you say?  

   

   

 
June 12, 2006, 4:03 am CDT

aging like wine?

Quote From: dbachelor

Men age like wine, while women age like milk.

My pastor once used this analogy when talking about maturing.  

  

You know, you can take the same cluster of grapes and run it through the same process and with the same amount of time.  You will find a different response from grapes.  From the same cluster of grapes some grapes become bitter vinigar while other grapes become the most expensive champaine.    

  

It all depends on how the grape responds to the process of the wine making.  

  

You must have had some pretty bad experiences with women over the years.    

  

I once heard somebody say, "never trust a man who walks without a limp,"  

  

There is a reason why some people go sour...  

it's all in their response to the life they have experienced.  

  

  

 
November 25, 2006, 10:00 am CST

Love Smart Guidlines

Hi there,

 

Can somebody give me a guidline of questions to ask a guy  to find out if this guy is for real or not

 
January 13, 2007, 3:10 pm CST

Dating?

Dr. Phil, I've not had a date in over 25 years. I divorced in 1981 and became a single parent of two boys. Sure I wanted to date but never had the time. I devoted and sacrificed my time towards my sons and it paid off with a positive effect. I'm proud to say my sons are excellent providers, great fathers and good husbands! I never wanted to bring a man/men into my home and have my sons witness heartache or whatever.  They were too important in my life. I still think about dating but I wouldn't know HOW to go about it because I'm an old-fashioned woman of 57 and I still believe that the guy should ask me out. Now, I don't know if I will accept or not, because it took me, almost, a year to talk to my neighbor who is a single guy although he is young enough to be my son. I don't believe in robbing the cradle either. Nope I think I"m too old to be trying to re-train a man. I would just like to meet a nice, friendly, honest, sense of humor guy who believes in God and just have him has a companion. It would be fun to have someone to go out to eat with or just go driving in the mountains. But you know, I have this fear of men. You hear so many negative things about guys on the news. How more and more are pedophiles, they marry someone and put a large life insurance policy on the wife and then kill them and the negative list goes on. So I guess I'll just sit back and keep dreaming for that special kind of guy!
 
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