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Topic : 03/31 Love Smart, Part 1

Number of Replies: 209
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Created on : Friday, December 02, 2005, 03:45:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/06/05) It's Dr. Phil after dark! Dr. Phil is having a champagne party - with an audience full of single men and women looking to meet Mr. and Ms. Right. Using his new book, Love Smart: Find the One You Want - Fix the One You Got, Dr. Phil teaches these singles how to be smart when it comes to love and relationships, and how to "bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home!" Noelle says she's a horrible dater and never gets called back for date number two. Dr. Phil sends her out with a man and critiques her technique. How is she sending the wrong message? Then, a beauty queen who never thought she would still be single at 37 says her biological clock is "gonging!" Does this mean she'll put up with just about anything? Dr. Phil puts her to the test. And, three single women who are looking for love in all the wrong places want Dr. Phil to help them find Mr. Right. See what happens when they participate in revolving dates while Dr. Phil coaches them through an earpiece. Whether you can't find a good candidate, can't close the deal, or get them home and realize they aren't who you thought they were -- you are about to earn your black belt in relationships! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

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December 6, 2005, 1:17 pm CST

I HAVE NO LUCK THE GUYS

LAST TIME I ON A DATE  FOR GRAD NIGTH. THE GUY DUMP ME MIDDLE  GRAD DANCE  AND ALL MY FRIENDS LOL AT ME . THAT MY LAST DATE. MY GRAD WAS IN 2000 AND I AM SILL SINGLE.1 A YR  OLD FRIEND COME TO MY HOUES  WANT TO DATE ME BUT I DO NOT  HE ONE THAT DUMP IN MIDDLE OF GRAD NIGTH. I DO NOT I NEED TO DO  TO TELL HIM  HOW I FILL.
 
December 6, 2005, 1:19 pm CST

I HAVE NO LUCK THE GUYS

LAST TIME I ON A DATE  FOR GRAD NIGTH. THE GUY DUMP ME MIDDLE  GRAD DANCE  AND ALL MY FRIENDS LOL AT ME . THAT MY LAST DATE. MY GRAD WAS IN 2000 AND I AM SILL SINGLE.1 A YR  OLD FRIEND COME TO MY HOUES  WANT TO DATE ME BUT I DO NOT  HE ONE THAT DUMP IN MIDDLE OF GRAD NIGTH. I DO NOT I NEED TO DO  TO TELL HIM  HOW I FILL.
 
December 6, 2005, 1:25 pm CST

So Dr Phil - up to the challenge of the over 40 Ladies?

Quote From: golden1

     Here, here! It seems that once you hit 30 (or more accurately, IT hits YOU!), you're supposed to grateful for whatever comes your way. Just bite your lip, smile and scrape the bottom of the barrel.  You know something? You may have just presented an idea for a show featuring single women over 40 and looking for love. That might get ME on the show.

I couldn't agree more with the older ladies!  I feel like I have 3 strikes against me when I meet men.  

  

If they are younger than I am (in their 30's or younger) they either just want Mrs. Robinson or they want to have a family of their own (strike one - I should not get pregnant again as my health is not up for it). If they are my age (in their 40's) then they are looking for women in their 20-30's (strike two - I'm not young enough because I'm 47 even though I don't look that old). If they are older than I am (in their 50's plus) they are so close to retirement they can taste it and they want the freedom of no kids or kids old enough to take care of themselves (strike three - I have a 6 year old and I am not free to take off at the drop of a dime).   

  

So Dr Phil - what should we older ladies with kids do? Wait for another 10+ years until we can take off with the retirees on their freedom rides? Or "get thee to a nunnery"? 

 
December 6, 2005, 1:26 pm CST

Too funny!!

Quote From: stepmomusa

I was 35 when I met my husband....just when I had finally made up my mind that I was destined to be single forever, and that maybe it woudn't be such a bad thing! What was funny is that the night I met him at a baseball game, I had on a t-shirt, baseball cap, and no makeup. And I am not a beauty by any standard, but I am smart and easily able to engage in conversation (I've always been the girl men love to be friends with but aren't interested in dating). Our personalities clicked, though, and I pursued him for a date.  

  

Thank God I did, because the relationship I have now  is an absolute gift. He may not be the George Clooney look-alike who strung me along for eight years (who said that while he loved me deeply,just wasn't physically attracted to me because I was chunky) but he is the smartest, funniest, most easygoing and interesting man I have ever known. His sense of who he is and his level of integrity blows me away. I think part of finding that right guy is how you behave on that first date, but it also comes down to being open to someone that you may not initially consider to be your "type". We get used to they way people look, and when we really love them, their inner beauty comes to the surface and really shines! I find that after a few years of marriage, what my (pretty, thin, divorced) friends envy isn't that I snagged JFK jr, but rather the deep love, mutual respect, and great friendship that my husband and I have. 

I didn't get married until I was 33 and we met in an AOL chatroom of all places.  The man I had dated for three years previously could have been a playgirl centefold.  But he also had more issues than a news stand and he treated me like crap most of the time.  My husband is very tall and very skinny and his hair is turning gray rapidly but he is the most beautiful man on earth as far as I am concerned.
 
December 6, 2005, 1:43 pm CST

Baby, it's hard out there!

Here are some more tips for guys from a woman that has been on a few BAD dates: 

  

1.  Don't blow your nose at the table during dinner and proceed to dig in your nose.  Excuse yourself from the table and take care of it in the men's room.  Also belching and passing gas at the table is RUDE. 

  

2.  Have a plan when you pick up your date.  Don't expect your date to choose the restaurant and movie...show that you put some thought into it.  It makes you look like you could care less....and also, on a Friday or Saturday night, reservations are usually required.   

  

3.  Don't talk endlessly about your ex and the great sex you had daily.  I could care less. 

  

4.  Have breath mints or gum handy - please..... 

  

5.  Don't be a cheapskate...tip the waiter.   

  

6.  Know something about your kids...once went out with a guy that had no idea how old his kids were!  How detached from life do you have to be not to know how old your kids are? 

  

7.  Don't pull over on the road and accost your date by showing how good of a kisser you are....and if you are going to kiss....make sure your breath doesn't stink..... 

  

8.  Don't make up stories about the credit card company sending you and new card and you throwing it away...it's a renewal....meaning that you throw the OLD card awayl   

  

9.  Don't talk about mama all night. 

  

10.  Don't start a date out by saying that you aren't ready for a relationship...if that's the case...STAY HOME.  Don't go out until you are ready...   

  

It's hard out there ladies.  Single for five years and counting.... 

 
December 6, 2005, 1:49 pm CST

The Show...

Quote From: jeanniej70

Hey that is not fair because I am on this show & Not all these women all the prettiest they have had it ruff too, we are not in our 20's most of us are in our middle 30's or older. Maybe watch the show before you judge!
 These three women are far from perfect. I agree with how the audience and Dr. Phil Reacted to the comments. I have been on countless dates...

Rule #1: TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE. I had plenty of girls talk to their friends or family while on a date. I can understand if they just wanted to make sure they are ok. But a simple "Bathroom break-Call-I am ok " suffices.

I like the questions that Dr. Phil coached the girls to ask. They are real questions with real answers. I am a single guy myself. From what I saw this is what I gathered. The Beauty Queen, now knowing that this guy is an Actor...I believe wants that "New First Date" to then find something wrong with him so she can seperate herself. If she REALLY wanted to be with him. She would be like "I would DEFINITELY go with him"

Personaly from the three I liked Layla...I thougth she was very attractive, attentive, smart, and a great combination of many different positive qualities.

Oh and remember. NO ONE IS PERFECT. Not a one.
 
December 6, 2005, 1:52 pm CST

You tell em

Quote From: jeanniej70

I wish you ladies would watch the "Shows" before you judege the women on them, I am one of those women & I can firmly say that NONE of the women on this show are as one women on here put it "YOUNG & STUPID" all of these women have great careers, some great families. So watch before you judge!
I watched the whole show this morning while I was waiting to the the OB Dr.  One of the women was a twentysomething, but the rest were in there 30's and 40's and were by no means stupid they didn't have perfect bodies or perfect careers I think this was a good cross section.
 
December 6, 2005, 2:00 pm CST

Old and Single

DR. PHIL, 

 

YOU HAVE BEEN IN CALIFORNIA TOOOOOOOOOO LONG!!! 

 

THERE ARE STILL US REAL PEOPLE OUT HERE!!! 

 

TIME TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND GET BACK TO THE BASICS!!! 

 

SINCERELY, 

Karen 

 

  

 
December 6, 2005, 2:01 pm CST

Dating

I am a 33 year old newly wed and I never thought I would get married! I am now married to the most wonderful man in the world (sorry ladies). Guess what, he's 25! I was in a bad relationship for 7 years and although I don't hate my ex I just new that we had gone as far as we could go. I needed to get on with my life for our daughters (now 3 & 1/2) sake. I dated a little after we split but my focus was on school so even though alot of the guys were wanting to get serious, I was hesitant. I had a friend from work who was very sweet and we flirted but I'm like that and I didn't give him too much thought because he was so much younger. One day he asked me out, just like so many other times but he followed it with "I'm not kidding". I was shocked!  

I never, ever dated anyone younger than me but there are so many things about him that are different than all the others. He turned out to be the most mature, emotionally available man I have ever known. He wasn't afraid of marriage, he was excited. He loves being a husband and a father to his daughter and mine. If I had let the age thing get in the way, I would never have experienced the happiness that we share. The point is, you have to keep an open mind and take some chances when it comes to dating. I wasted alot of time with men who had the "right looks" or were the "right age" but the wrong everything else. In hindsight, I should have gone out of my way to date guys who were not what I was looking for. At least that way I wouldn't be expecting anything but dinner.  

Believe me, I have had my share of dates gone wrong so here's my best advice (for what it's worth): 

If you ever see your ideal man, ask the guy next to him out on a date. 

 
December 6, 2005, 2:02 pm CST

I agree with nursefaye as well

Quote From: nursefaye

Dr Phil, It must be easy to select the prettiest woman that write in and fix them up with dates. How about us "older" women? The ones that have been married before, or are overweight, or have a health problem? Do we just give up on love because we are not pretty enough or young enough? I am a 55 year old twice divorced woman who would love help to meet suitable men but your shows are always about fixing up 20 somethings and they are all attractive. I don't scare babies and with the right makeup and hair style I can be presentable but I will never be that woman in her 20's that can meet a man and have him tripping all over himself to give me his number. So should I just give up on having someone in my life because I am less desirable?
I am 61. Although friends tell me i look 40ish, and don't act like i'm 61. but i am. b/c of my divorce (that i did not want) i have low self-esteem and self-confidence when it comes to men. i was divorced at 57. and now 4 years later i would really like to have a mate/companion, someone to spend time with, but just am not comfortable being around men. i have only been w/ one man my entire life. i was married at 19 (divorced after 37.5 yrs. of marriage). a friend called me a virgin. i guess to some extent i am. i agree w/ nursefaye in regard to what about our age group? it's a whole different ballgame than when i was in 20s,30s. flirting is different. based on my limited exp. it seems that older men  are looking for younger women. so where does the "older" woman fit into the dating game? and don't tell me to look at younger men. i've heard that from friends. my son is 40. when i see a man at 40 it's like looking at my son.
 
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