Well, I thought by age 42 I would have been able to "spot" a con or something that really was to good to be true.....WRONG! I was healing from a divorce and very involved with my church at the time when Dave came into our lives. He started coming to the same church with his 2 small children in December 1999. He talked all the right things and after 5 months I agreed to "date" him. I have a special needs son at home who was 7 at the time and was very protective of him since we had been mentally, emotionally and physically abused by his father for to long. Dave treated my son very good, seemed patient with him and acted like he cared. I say acted because now I can see it was an act. Dave was going through a bad divorce and of course he told me "HIS" side of it which made him out to be wonderful and the ex an evil person. He continued to put on his show of loving and caring for me and my son for another year so when he proposed I knew I loved him and thought the feelings were mutual.
He was self-employed as a construction contractor (not licensed to my surprise because he said he was!) and money was never an issue until later in the marriage. I worked for the school system so did not depend on him for financial reasons. There were more than a few run ins with his ex and children including my tires being slashed, a vehicle being stolen from my driveway and him ending up in jail and more. But once again I believed Dave when he (always) explained everything logically away. See, he was 5 years older than me, had grown children with his first wife and this new ex was only 25, half Dave's age. What a mess, but at the time Dave kept me in the dark so to speak about most of his life, he only told me what he felt I needed to know.
I thought he was a good person because I met him in church and he was so good about (pretending) to walk the walk and talk the talk.
We got married in November 2001 then decided to move somewhere we could purchase land reasonable. He asked me where I would go comfortably in distance away from my (elderly) parents. My response was anywhere BUT Missouri.....guess where he found land, yep in Missouri. He bought it, paid cash, without consulting me, but because I wanted our life to work out together ( I am the type of person who always tries to fix everything and everybody so all are happy) I moved and did end up loving our life there with our animals and blended family. We weren't there to long before the control started with the money, vehicles and my son. After only 3 months there my Mother past away and Dave "allowed" me to drive to Florida to be with my Dad. Once back in Missouri, the issues became worse. Dave would leave for weeks at a time leaving my son and I alone in the middle of nowhere, knowing no one and no money. He would claim this was for work. Well finally in January of 2004 it all fell apart with him hitting my son and me defending my son. I told him to leave until things cooled down and he did. My older son (24 yrs old) was at the house at the time, Dave sucker punched him on the way out of the house. Dave also took my vehicle and all the keys to the other 3 so we couldn't go to town if needed. I did call the sheriff and filed a report of abuse on my youngest son. Dave was picked up, put in jail for a whole 4 hours. Once released, Daved cleaned out all of our bank account which left me with nothing to provide the basic needs for my son and myself. Once this happened I started doing my own investagation into Dave and his background and found he had at least 5 warrants from 2 different states for domestic violence, pulling a firearm on a police officer in a mall, failure to pay child support for 2 ex wives, no drivers license because it was revoked for child support. He had a fake one with a fake address in Michigan. Anyway, his arrest record goes back to 1975 and continues to 2004, and I am sure more since. He hasn't paid taxes since 1975 so that is why he always gets paid in cash and doesn't hold a bank account in his name. Our account was in my name with him as someone who could withdraw and deposit but no name on our checks or paperwork.....therefore it couldn't be linked to him. He gave me a reason why it needed to be like this at the time but I don't remember what it was.....there were so many lies that I now know of and wish I knew then. In the end, I lost our home, my vehicle, animals and my self-esteem. I don't trust anyone, especially a man and don't let my son get involved with anyone as well. My son and I had to move, with no money or vehicle and my credit is so bad because of this I won't be able to get one. I had to borrow money from family to get situated and move and now because of this I have an attorney bill of almost $30,000 which I try not to think about. I will never recoup financially, (it has been almost 2 years now) or what we lost but would be nice to have a vehicle so we wouldn't have to do so much walking or borrow vehicles to get to my son's many doctor appt. At least we have each other.
My son and I are trying to get back on track but I am having a difficult time trying to believe that I was conned, even though I know I was. I always thought I was a good judge of character and since I met Dave in church I thought he had to be good. Boy was I wrong!
So....this is for everyone out there, be careful and don't get in this situation. It is hard to have a life after something like this and to trust again. There are times when I would like to share my life with someone and then this all comes back to me and I tell myself NO.
It would be nice to have a hug now and then though!
(Original Air Date: 12/12/05) You may have heard, "If something is too good to be true, it probably is." Dr. Phil's guests learned this lesson the hard way. Sandra thought she was marrying a bachelor with whom she would spend the rest of her life. What she didn't know was that she was being conned, and that when she tied the knot, she would be wife number seven! See what happens when Sandra and wife number six get together. Why is Dr. Phil concerned with the way they are coping with their pain? Then, when Coni met Paul, he claimed he owned a business, had a Ph.D. and was an Air Force Major. But the life he detailed was all a big lie. Now that Coni has put her husband behind bars, she fears he's plotting revenge. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a former FBI profiler shares the signs to look for so you don't become a con man's next target. Talk about the show here.
