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Topic : 01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Number of Replies: 66
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Wednesday, December 28, 2005, 12:01:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's the start of a new year, and the perfect time to work on those pesky resolutions that you've been putting off for so long! Dr. Phil gives his guests a jump-start by helping them eliminate unwanted old habits. Rebecca and her sisters have an extreme fear of driving. They have to be chauffeured around by family and friends, and they're tired of being a burden on others. Find out what's behind their fears. Then, Gail thought she’d never be able to dig herself out from all the clutter in her home … until Dr. Phil gave her the surprise of a lifetime! Plus, meet a mom whose resolution is to get her family to pick up after themselves. She's so desperate that she started selling whatever they leave on the floor -- on eBay! Join the discussion.

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January 2, 2006, 5:24 pm CST

Ebay selling of possesions

Dear  Dr. Phil, There are  times  I agree  with  you &  times  I don't  but....your  New Years  show  on  Jan 2nd 2006..  &  lady  that  sold  her  kids  &  HER  HUSBANDS  things on Ebay.   I  was  sitting  here  thinking  that  is  SOOOOOOOOOOO  wrong..My  husband  works  very  hard  and  if  he  leaves  things  lay  it  is  fine..I  have  no  right  to  sell  his  I  pod  or  a laptop  on floor  or any  thing else  for  that matter & she  has no right to  feel  she  is  teaching  him  a  lesson..The  kids  need to  learn  but put  them  in  a  box . They  earn  them  back  with  positive  attituides...I would  never  have  sold  my  kids   possestions..and  my  Husband  would  never  been  included in  this.. Thank  you casey
 
January 2, 2006, 5:43 pm CST

Concequences

First of all,  I think the idea that this woman sold her kids' and husband's stuff on ebay was a little too far.   I think it was absolutely WRONG.  I know that people will disagree with me but this is my opinion.      She had absolutely no right to do this - kids need to learn to pick up for themselves - true, but selling their stuff on ebay was a little too far.  Selling her husbands items was downright dumb and disrespectful.    Personally the way to handle this kind of thing is to take the item away - put them in a box and put them where the kids' can't get at them and one by one have the child(ren) earn back their beloved item.  As for the husband - well he's an adult and should learn to put his stuff away but as for the kids - they need to learn that they need to pick up after themselves and the concequence is to lose that item until they earn it back - to sell the item on ebay was too far.  Way too far.  Sure the woman "went on strike for respect" but gimme a break they are CHILDREN!  How old were they anyways?  I forget their ages, but they were still young and need to be taught properly what the consequence is when they don't pick up after themselves - they lose the item until they earn it back.   Selling it on ebay was absolutely wrong.   I was sitting there watching this story and was saddened for the children and angry that the woman took such drastic measures.     

 
January 2, 2006, 5:51 pm CST

Drivofobic

I am afraid to drive too. I do drive to work, doctors, etc., but only after I learned the route with somebody sitting beside me and telling me where to turn. I also can drive on unfamiliar route if it is easy on the map. I panic when I have to take a detour, and I particularly scared of the highways, because they can take you far and fast. I think what I afraid is to get lost and be late for my appointment. I do get lost often even on my feet, so I was wandering if I should install GPS system on my car. They are expensive, so I would like to know if somebody out there used GPS to overcome their fear of driving?
 
January 2, 2006, 6:10 pm CST

Picking up......

Now, no one is ever going to accuse me of being a neat freak, or overly organized. HOWEVER, after last years show where they presented the woman who really was in trouble over clutter, I said "That could be me" So, I purged and I purged and I sold, gave away, tossed, and folded. I got rid of clothing from the 80's (cool in its time, but spandex jumpsuits will not be in again- thank God) trinkets that I couldn't remember why I kept and a ton of other stuff. I gave away all of the baby things except for one outfit from each child that I particularly loved- new mommies need good cribs too! And every time I turned around, I lobbed another box out. Guess what? ITs taken about a year, but my house is in 1 hour clean. (I can clean within 1 hour i.e. vacuum, wipe surfaces, mop etc.) I found 2 extra rooms in the house. The laundry room isn't the Mt Everst of clothing anymore. I actually have time to paint with the kids and I know where the paint is and the bottles of paint are full. Yes, some days it looks like a bomb hit, but its a lot easier to clean when there is less to clean. (Plus, I really hate to clean)And it wasn't very fun, but its easier to get kids to preschool when you know where their shoes are, and I am more pleasant when I go to make a pot of coffee and there is coffee to use and filters there too! I wish the best of luck to everyone trying to get through the day! 

PS- I sort the kids toys into tubs per category i.e. cinderella, thomas, my little pony and we get out one tub at a time- The tubs fit under their beds and the shams cover the tubs. That is not to say that their rooms are perfect- just not hazardous.I have great kids! 

 
January 2, 2006, 9:34 pm CST

My song for Moms selling families stuff on eBay

Quote From: caseykat7

Dear  Dr. Phil, There are  times  I agree  with  you &  times  I don't  but....your  New Years  show  on  Jan 2nd 2006..  &  lady  that  sold  her  kids  &  HER  HUSBANDS  things on Ebay.   I  was  sitting  here  thinking  that  is  SOOOOOOOOOOO  wrong..My  husband  works  very  hard  and  if  he  leaves  things  lay  it  is  fine..I  have  no  right  to  sell  his  I  pod  or  a laptop  on floor  or any  thing else  for  that matter & she  has no right to  feel  she  is  teaching  him  a  lesson..The  kids  need to  learn  but put  them  in  a  box . They  earn  them  back  with  positive  attituides...I would  never  have  sold  my  kids   possestions..and  my  Husband  would  never  been  included in  this.. Thank  you casey

Just for Fun!.. 

Makes no sense unless song, is sung to the tune of.. and in the Style of : 

 The BackStreet Boys "I Want It That Way". 

 
A Used ...........DVD & remote
A New.............Childs Brand New Coat
Some Cups......A Sweater color Gray
Mom Sold Them on eBay 


This house.......................is full of stuff
Mom says.......................she's had enough
and if weeeeeeeeee..........disobey
She'll Sell them on eBay 

 
Gonna Cry.....................It's so very very cold today
Gonna Cry.....................I have no nice new coat to wear
Gonna Cry.....................My Dad says it is really just not fair
She sold his clothes on eBay 

 
So well go ...... behind her back
Well get ......... her old knick knacks
"A++!" they'll all say
Well sell them on eBay 


Wanna Buy  (Dr.Phil Book still in a bag)
Wanna buy (some eylashes, new with tag)
Wanna buy ( oversized drawers with some fray)
We could even sell her on eBay  

 
We are so desperate, heed you this warning
To all other family's out there ....Whoa,
Got Junk you leave lying, it sure to go flying
it's all very liable to gooooooo
 
If we............ put our junk down
It could.........find a new home
Oh Please.......(oh Please, oh please,oh please oh please......)
We need a new mum Nooooooooooooooo 

 
(Junk keeps accumulating in our home)
(Mabye we should get another Mom)
(there doesnt seem to be another way)
(before she sells us all on eBay)  

 
Wanna buy..............(a used barbie doll lunchbox)
Wanna Buy..............( dads holey old tube socks)
Wanna Buy..............(plastic glasses on a kitchen tray)
Mom sells our stuff on eBay 

 
Wanna buy (that Red Sports car poster)
(Pez dispenser or a toaster)
(Don't know why ... we learned nothing from it anyway)
(She'll just buy more on eBay) 

Mom sells our stuff on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y
 

 
January 2, 2006, 9:44 pm CST

Misadvised

1) Though I love Dr. Phil dearly, I felt he was not fully investingating why his guest today might be hitting her alarm clock and going back to sleep.  Her morning fatigue/extreme sleepiness could easily be a sleep related problem and not her laziness.  It sounds that she may not have restful sleep (multitude of reasons) and should be treated by a sleep specialist.  I've had difficulty waking since I can remember (like her) and have discovered that I have sleep apnea.  "Sleep Clinic doctors" can help diagnose if there is a problem and provide alternatives for her to improve her sleep.  I went from dragging out of bed (multiple snoozes too) tand now no longer require an alarm clock!  Hope this suggestion finds your guest!! 

  

2) Unrelated, I'm 37 now but as a teen my Dad took away my bed after having to remind me to make it daily.  I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor for a couple weeks.  And now I always make my bed.  Keep up the good work on training kids to respect the household rules, their parents, and their belongings!! 

 
January 2, 2006, 10:16 pm CST

Fear of driving

I too was afraid to drive, not so much because I doubted that I could, but because I was afraid of what the other drivers would do. So, when it came to either drive, or stay home, I determined to get my license. To help me, I signed up with a driving school, just to have someone next to me that would be able to control the car if I froze. Well, to make a long story short, I got my license 4 years ago, and wonder how I went without it so long.  BTW, I'm 63, so it's never too late.
 
January 2, 2006, 11:27 pm CST

Been there

Quote From: morganmad

I realize you're trying to help and that's great but sleep disorders are very serious and should be diagnosed and treated by a qualified physician. We have no way of knowing on a discussion board exactly what a person's problem might really be. If there's no physiological problem, then it may very well be a matter of routine or bad habits or some similar issue but please don't assume someone is lazy or making bad choices when that may not be the case. It's really a matter requiring a physician. 

Your right when you say it is a matter requiring a doctor.  She needs to have blood tests and sleep testing done to rule out any medical cause before you start looking at behavior changes.  Some sleep disorders are attributed to the levels of Melatonin in the body.  When the difficulty is getting up in the morning, it may be delayed sleep phase syndrome which can be treated with a prescription for melatonin.  It could also be due to not getting enough time in stages 3, 4 and Rem of the sleep cycle.    When your body is so fatigued by living with untreated sleep disorders,  you're not going to resolve the problem with behavior changes.   

  

Some sleep disorders can be life threatening. Sleep apnea is a disorder than can raise BP and increase your risk of strokes and cardiac problems.  Never assume a sleep problem is purely behavioral. 

  

Dr Phil was remiss by not ruling out medical issues before he profiled her on TV.  

 
January 2, 2006, 11:56 pm CST

Fear of Driving

     I watched this show because of the introduction.  I usually see Dr. Phil at 3 pm and today it was on at 10 AM!  I think what Dr. Phil said about relaxing and just doing it would greatly help me.  I am 40 years old and terrified to drive because everyone says they won't ride in a car with me.  How can I learn if no one is willing to make the commitment to help me by riding with me???  They all laugh and say they're joking but I know in my heart that they are not.   

 

 

 

 

 

     When I was younger, in my teens, I tried learning and had an accident on a narrow street.  As I was turning the corner, my sister screams "STOP!!!!!!" in my ear and I hit a parked truck.  I have not been able to drive since then.  Any suggestions? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     Also, I loved the part about organizing your home.  My fiance and I are taking their advice and going through our stuff one room at a time since we are moving soon anyway.  Hope not to take as much clutter with us this time!  :)    My clutter comes from previous marriage and losing everything because he refused to keep working and paying bills.  I lost everything from baby to age 31.  Makes you want to hold on to stuff.  

 
January 3, 2006, 1:51 am CST

A few things

The woman selling the  stuff on EBay reminded me of a fellow lone father from years ago. He had three daughters, the youngest of which was a slob. One day he started throwing anything of hers left lying around into the shed were he kept the lawnmower: He had the only key.

It wasn't long before she started trying to steal her sister's clothes, which did not go over well. Her sisters locked their stuff up. When youngest had gone three days with the same underwear, jeans and T she finally got the point. After dad released her stuff from its lawnmower jail she kept fairly good care and control of her stuff.

I think actually selling the stuff would have been wrong. I think the woman selling her husband's stuff was wrong. Jailing the stuff, now that is a point maker!

As for sleep! I'd love Dr. Phil to do a show on us people who just plain cannot sleep without taking some of the nastiest drugs available to doctors. If I do not take my meds my sleep drops to the point where I go crazy, paranoid, weird ...

I'd love to get my wife to drive! That would be real nice. sigh
 
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