Topic : 03/23 Nasty Custody Battles

the man is a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.  The vibes I got off my set made even me shake and my own husband noticed it.  If Dr. Phil hadn't been sitting there, he'd have lost it. 

  

He wants to see his daughter.  I personally think he shouldn't - not ever - this is the reason why. 

  

He killed the cat - a childs' pet, and he admits it with seemingly no remorse for that.  It's like, oh well, I did it, but that is in the past. 

  

I'd run from this guy too if he killed my pet in front of me. 

  

Nope...nada...sorry Phil, even with supervision, this guy can't be trusted! 

  

Laura 

  

  

I saw a striking resemblence between the father in the second couple and Robert Blake, convicted of killing his wfe...  Coincidentally (chillingly), RB also portrayed a murderer in the film version of "In Cold Blood"...  While I do feel sorry for the guy (I don't believe he can help it), I also agree that he's probably sociopathic, and that's not curable.  He should resign himself to giving up his daughter...

After dating an over-indulgent "Disneyland" custodial father, I am very wary of dating single fathers.  This boyfriend insisted his son be included in EVERYONE of our conversations so the son's feeling wouldn't be hurt & that we no longer hold hands or kiss (I'm not talking about making out, I'm talking about a brief hello or goodbye kiss) in front of the kid b/c he was jealous.  I told him my parents would have adult conversations on the phone to other adults w/o including their children & he told me that was an "old fashioned" way of parents.  He was so hyperindulgent, at 8 years old, the boy was still sleeping in his room with him.  It was a struggle to get adult alone time with my boyfriend.  The situation was very unhealthy & I was relieved to get out of it.  And I observe MANY hyperindulgent no-boundary parenting relationships these days.  Being a single dad is not a dealbreaker, but I'm very very wary of them after what I've observed.

I and my son by my first marriage have been married to my husband for almost 12 years.  I have 2 step children ages 22 and 19.  Through the years we have set up rules of the house.  Ex: clean rinse your plate and put it in the dishwasher after you finish.  Bed time, Mind you this was when they were younger.  We live in the same town as my step kids but were only allowed to see them 4 or five times a year.  However it was important for all the kids to understand that rules were rules.  The house I live in is also my house and I expect that if my step kids expected to be treated as guests that they should be taught that they should have the manners of a guest.  If they didn't have manners they should be taught them.  I am confused when Dr. Phil says that step parents should not have these types of interactions with their step kids.  I deserve to be treated with respect especially in my own home and I don't need to be a "tattle tale" .  I can call them out on the carpet on my own.   

   i am 22 years old and i have a daughter that just turned 2 on march 21st of this year. but i missed it all and still havent talked to her for months or seen her for about 6 months maybe a little more. i am not with her father anymore and i live in wisconsin now.  two years ago when i had her i lived in new york with her father and his family, we were not married and he slowly through time became more and more physically abusive with me. so i finally had the courage to leave him and move back near my family. we went to court when she was one years old for custody and the final result after months of fighting and thousands of dollars for lawyers and traveling back and forth to new york that i couldnt afford was joint custody. she is supposed to be with him for 2-3 months and then with me, and so forth till she starts school. i dont want my daughter living like this, and now shes with him and has been with him for the last 6 months and refuses to let me come pick her up. i contacted her law guardian last week and she says that i have to hire another lawyer and go back to court and file another petition. problem is i dont have the money for another lawyer and i dont know where to start and she wasnt much of a help at all other than she told me i cant hire just any lawyer, it has to be a lawyer either from new york or if its one from here, they have to be licensed to practice in new york. which is very rare to find. i cry everyday and its becoming an issue now in my life where nothing is getting done and im stressed about it all the time. i cant think about getting anything else done anymore because all i can think is where do i start? how long will this take?  how will i afford all this at my age and while expecting another child now? im sure many parents out there know what i am feeling after being away from my baby for so long, scared that she has forgotten me, maybe calling someone else there mom, never getting any pictures from her father, and not being able to watch my first baby grow up so quickly and missing all the joys most moms get to see everyday. im looking for some advice. if anyone knows where i should start or how i can accomplish getting my daughter back as soon as possible or just wants to talk, maybe to help me relieve some stress from this, please write me back.

I agree.  When step kids are in your home, and it is your home, they should be governed by the same rules as your bio kids.  Allot of experts say kids need structure and discipline,  I beleive they do.  I don;t think it is healthy for mixed families to have 2 sets of rules one for the step kids and one for the bio kids. 

Are you telling me I am abusing my step kid for one incident of pusher her against a wall?  Get your head straight.!!!    I have never hit her, yelled at her, did anything until this one time she called me a bitch repeatively.   There is only so much a person can take befor they loose thier cool.  Its called being human.  For you to even think I am a child abuser is crazy.  I hope you seek psychological counseling becouse you need to know your facts befor you open your mouth and judge someone in that sense.   The fact I was trying to point out is STEP PARENTING is hard and it is not always the step parent that is wrong.   It takes more than one incident to make me make such a crazy judgement  (like you just did). 

This is called a forum where everyone is entitled to thier opinion  and to ask questions.  Not a place for people like you to make a snap judgement and insult a person with your type.  You obviously know nothing of what I was trying to say........and really .........who needs your thoughts with a type like that!!!     

I am the ex-wife of an emotionally abusive man, who has been involved in smoking drugs for several years and likes looking at pornography anywhere he can find it.  I have even found what looks to be child porn, the police believe it is made to look like a child, but the intent is still there.  We have a 10 yr old son caught in the middle of all this.  He of course does not know what his father is into and therefore cannot understand why he cannot spend the night at his father's place.  My son does know about the drugs but nothing else.   

  

I am trying to do what is right as far as giving my ex access but it is on limited amounts, so he has decided to cut of child support, we go to court Apr 20 to work that out. 

  

Like most addicts he cannot see what he is doing wrong and just thinks I am trying to stick it to him for our marriage breaking up, I hope that is not what I am doing, I am trying to keep my son safe.  It is very hard because I want to give my son all the access he wants and not keep him from his father but on the same hand I have a responsibility to keep my son safe, but with him always trying to cut me down and tell me I am just being a prude and not being fair, sometimes it is hard to know if you are doing the right thing or not.  I do not want to pay the price of loosing my son because he thinks that I kept him from his dad but I cannot just let a 10 yr old go into that environment.  Of course my ex and I do not get along.  I try and keep from saying things to him because he does have anger control issues but when I have to say no, that causes an explosion. 

  

So it is not always a case of the ex-wife being a bitch and not wanting to be fair, sometimes it is necessary to stand strong.  My ex-husband truely believes that what he is doing is not wrong and that it is not a big deal.  It was enough of a big deal to destroy our marriage, I will not let it destroy my son. 

Sounds like abuse to me. 

i have a daughter with this man, who's now wife get to involved with our daughter. she has accused me of abusing my daughter when we were in a custody  fight, that least 5 to 8 times everything was unfounded.it was she who called CPS not her father. he has never accused me of anything. he was not even involved in talking to his lawyer it was her. the summer of 05' she called CPS to say that my daughter arrived to there house with bruises on her body, but how funny is this she waited to accuse me when it was time for my daughter to come home.  the CPS lady said in her report that (S-M) could not keep her story straight because first the marks where on her hip then on her bottem. the case was unfounded.  my daughter's father is not man enough to talk to me so his pushy wife gets involved, i have tried to be nice to him just because he is my daughter's biological father but that bitch is always in the middle. when my daughter visits for the summer she and father are not aloud to spend time alone. the reason that she wants my daughter is because she can't have a baby of her own.  the judge even said in the custody papers that the only reason my daughter's father got involved is because of her.  please help?