Topic : 03/23 Nasty Custody Battles

If your step child calls you a b~tch, you don't have to react. Reacting is your choice. Now she knows she can push your buttons.

In this case, it was stated by the liar of three of them (Tiffany) that the stepmother (Kimmy) hit the children.  After her LYING right on TV, how could anyone believe her?  The mother could have made it entirely up.  Often the bio-mom has resentment toward the step-mom, and can create problems such as this.  It's like a woman crying "rape."  Who is believed when someone says something horrendous about someone else?  The person who is accusing gets believed until someone proves otherwise.  I think that is is much more likely in this case, that the mother is the one lying.. she showed with such ease how she does it, didn't she?? 

  

You know, it could also be that the children have learned to manipulate the 3 parents involved here.  It wouldn't be the first time a child has taken that resentment that a parent feels toward the other and used it for their advantage! 

I guess that we just have two different views of this show. To me it seemed like the biomom was being publicly attacked. I also am pretty sure that it was stated that they had been to court recently and the mom had won. I tend to think that the biodad and stepmom are bitter about that and chose to use this as a way to get back at her. I guess I don't understand why you think it is so clear the biomom was lying. I definetly think that we needed more information than we got in this episode. To clarify, you think Tiffany was just making up the story of Kimmy slapping the children? What would she have to gain by lying about it? To me that makes NOOOO since.

Are you kidding me?  What would the mother have to gain by lying?? She gets to stay in control.  She makes the stepmom out to be the bad guy in all of this to take the attention off of her own inadequacies as a mom to those kids.  The dad and stepmom said that the boys are dirty, and the house is dirty... and what did America get to see on TV?  The bio mom's house looking filthy just like they stated.  What was the biomom's complaint about the dad and stepmom?  Biomom says "she called me a bitch."  Who cares?  Grow up!  I'm sure that biomom hasn't been an angel in all of this either.  She didn't seem like the type that would stand back and just take it without getting her two cents in.  I don't see how anyone could defend the biomom's actions when the dad showed up.  She did, in fact, LIE.  Have you read the hundreds of posts on here of people saying the same thing?  The biomom lost her credibility from the beginning.  But to say that the biomom was the one being attacked.. you must have watched a different show, hun.  Because it seemed that it was the biomom trying to sling mud at the "evil" stepmother.  You are right about one thing, I'm sure the dad is upset he didn't get custody of his kids.  What parent wouldn't be upset.  Every parent just wants what is best for their kids, and the dad obviously feels that is better for the boys to grow up in his home.  Don't you think that the biomom would have been equally upset if it went the other way?  I'm sure she feels just as strongly that the kids should be with her.  A good parent who believes they are doing what is right for their kids don't just throw their hands up in the air because a decision was made for them.  Courts make bad decisions for children everyday.  Who's to say that there wasn't a mistake made in this case?  I think the sad part of all of this is those boys are getting the bad end of the deal here.  All they want is to have time with both of their parents without feeling bad about it.   I think it makes sense to at least entertain the possibility that the biomom did lie about the slapping.  I don't know what world you come from, but it does happen that a parent will lie about the other or a stepparent so they look better.

I didn't get a chance to watch the show, but i wanted some input on my fiances' case. It is very disturbing and sad.  When Brandon was 19, a friend of his moved in with him, there was no relationship, and then she got pregnant.  Brandon pampered and took  her to all her pre-natel visits and gave her money as she wasn't working.  One day when she was 6 months pregnant, she decided she didn't want anything to do with Branden and wanted to be with someone else(his name was Jeff) and she wanted Jeff to be the father. Well time went on and she never contacted Brandon when she started labor(another family member did) She didn't want him there and Jeff was able to hold the baby and stay the night, but Brandon was told to leave.  2 weeks after the baby was born Brandon had DNA done proving he was the father.  Heather still refused to give Brandon anytime with the baby.  Brandon took his case to family court.  When they went to mediation, The mother use her manipulation and talked Brandon into dropping the case so they could work things out.  As time went on his saw his daughter less and less and with a month he had no contact with his daughter.  She had changed the number and moved from apartment to apartment(none of which were in here name).  And she went into hiding.  We found out about 4-5 months ago were she was and started the court process again.  Its been 2 years since Brandon has seen his daughter, she just turned 4.  Brandon had the mother served on 3-7-06, she had until yesterday to respond and has not.  I am scared this little girl will never get the chance to know her father or family.  Brandon is a sweet hearted successful man and had no priors to have his fatherly rights taken from him.....what do we do...what are his chances of having a successful father/daughter relationship? 

  

Children have rights too!!  Don't you think a child deserves to know who his/her father is?  i think it is always important.  there are things they can use to build a good relationship i.e.supervised and therapeutic visits!  If he hasn't been proven a bad parent than give the man a chance.  There are a lot of parents out there who have made mistakes and FIXED them.  We all get 2nd chances.

What does she get to stay in control of? I agree that there was definetely one shot of the biomoms(Tiffany's) house that looked really bad. I also noticed that all the other shots in other rooms looked clean. That makes me wonder if her house is normally a mess or if there were other things going on that we can't see. It doesn't make somebody a slob if one room is dirty (in my opinion). I also recall Tiffany admitting to not always handling situations in the best way. I didn't feel she was trying to pretend she was perfect. I am both biomom and stepmom and I would never talk to my stepsons mom the way Kimmy admitted to talking to Tiffany.  

I would agree with you all on the lying if Tiffany had not let Scott see the boys at all. I think that her first instinct was to say the boys were not there but she rethought that and let Scott see them anyway. 

It seems to me that you must be one of the "evil" stepmoms you are refering to. Or, at least you feel like you are being accused of it.  

I agree that the lying does happen in all these cases, I just think that the liar/liars on this show are Scott and Kimmy. 

  

Well, "angelsmuch," this show seems to have hit a nerve with you, as it has many people since custody is such a huge issue in today's day and age.  However, we were commenting on the SHOW, and the people who subjected themselves to let America hear their story.  Somewhere along the way, you obviously felt personally offended, since you have now personally attacked me calling me an "evil" stepmom.  You know nothing of me.  I am not even a stepmom, but do deal with with my kids' stepmom.  I think it is a very hard thing for everyone involved to deal with each other.  I have never argued with her, but don't agree with things my ex and she have done.  But that goes with the territory of divorce.  We couldn't get along as married parents, and divorce doesn't make it automatically easy.  I felt for everyone involved on this show, but had a harder time relating to the mom, since she did lie.  I just don't see how it was of any benefit to keep the kids from seeing their dad.  Don't you think the mom could have shown her children a lot more love by saying, "hey why don't you take the boys out for ice cream?"  The dad doesn't get to see his kids every day like the mom does.  Obviously it was the mom's first reaction to tell the dad the kids weren't there, because that's what she did.  I don't understand why that would be her first reaction, so that's another reason I had a hard time sympathizing with her.  I don't know if her "rethinking" things had as much to do with her letting him see his kids (briefly) for their sake or to save face since the cameras were rolling.  I just don't see how you can say the mom was in the right just because she changed her mind on going through with her lie.  

  

Being a custodial parent myself, I know how it feels to have your kids not with you.  But, I have to remind myself that it's all about my kids, NOT me.  I feel it makes me a better parent to have my kids come back to me being happy they had a good time with their dad and stepmom, whom they love very much.  It is a very hard thing to see your kids bond with another woman, but I would so much rather have my kids love their stepmom and enjoy their time over there, than for me to try and interfere and cause conflict with my kids and their realtionship with their dad and stepmom.  Being the parent the kids are with the most gives that parent more control and more responsibility to her kids to make sure their needs are getting met.  Even if that means giving up some of her time so her kids can spend more time with their dad.   

  

I was just stating that it is a fact that parents do lie about one another to make themselves look better.  I do have friends and family that have been through great and open relationships with their exes as well as the other end of it which made this family's problems seem extremely trivial.   

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and been married for 1. His ex wife has been nothing but cruel. She has stopped at nothing to let us see his 2 kids. The day we got married she only allowed the kids to be with us till 9p.m. that night. Out of 6 years we have maybe seen them 20 times. She will say cruel things about us to them and anything to stop them from coming.Now we have 2 children and he plans on adopting my son and tries to use that against us. My hope one day is that the kids will be able to see through her lies and be able to come to us. We have tried attorneys and there is nothing more for us to do. Put it this way if we ever went to Dr.Phil he would probably try to admit her into a funny farm. If anyone has any other suggestions of how we could get help please reply. 

                                                                             Thank you and remember 

                                                              FATHERS ARE LOVING AND CARING AND WANT TO SEE  

                                                                   THERE CHILDREN TOO! THEY HAVE RIGHTS 

                                                                        (EVEN IF A COURT DON'T AGREE) 

                                                                               

I do have verification threw my checking account. It shows the payments made at the time the public school says he was truent. My son was taking his entrance exams.