Topic : 03/23 Nasty Custody Battles

Should be able to cohabitate with people they're not "in love" with; we do it all the time -- in college, in the Army, in extended families, in roommate situations...  You've "done the crime" of having children together, so you now have 18 years of parenting together ahead of you.  Do it like adults...

It may be an unpopular opinion, but darn it, I can see where you are going with this. I can speak from experience. Long story short, my ex husband cheated on me for 15 years. We have 2 sons, he started cheating when I was pregnant with our second. We divorced 4 years ago when our sons were 13 & 11. He immediately married the last woman he cheated on me with (stupid woman). She has stepped in and tried to take over disciplining, etc. Point is, I stayed with my ex all those years because I knew what would happen...My kids are now 18 & 15 and still resent both him and her. In the deep dark back of my mind, I could withstand him cheating more than this monster step momma in the picture. So, I get your point and see why you feel the way you do!

...If you get your idea about what having kids and parenting is all about by watching the oddities that Dr Phil finds, then you have it all wrong. Dr Phil finds the most extreme cases because it makes good TV and also because his advice on these bad cases can help people with less dramatic problems.

Most of us parents aren't this screwed up. It's completely possible to raise children the right way with out getting so out of control you end up on day time TV..believe it or not! LOL

It's cool if you don't kids, live and let live I say, but don't think this show reflects the average american family.

doesn't make me eager to get married nor have children!  :-D

Well, I've finally contacted a lawyer to try and place supervised visitation on my ex-husband for our son (my oldest - 10 yr old).  And.. needless to say, I know I'm in for a barrage of abusive words and probably death threats once he receives the paperwork.  Backstory:  During the 5 years we were married, he was a complete alcoholic and abused me relentlessly in every way a woman could be abused.  Unfortunately I was weak and scared and allowed my son to see all of this. (Can anyone say guilt?) Anyway, after I found out he was cheating on me, I finally left him and took our son, moving back to my home state about 1000 miles away.  That didn't stop him from continuing to be verbally and psychologically abusive to me.  I have always made an attempt to allow him access to our son because I didn't want our son to resent me for not letting him see his Father.  Needless to say, just because I left the situation, didn't mean my ex got any better.  The gf he was cheating on me with also received the same treatment, which my son witnessed and lo' and behold, my ex even began abusing his own father in front of our child's eyes.  Again, even after all of this, I thought that since my son was only there a few weeks a year, it would not impact him that much, and he "acted" like he really wanted to go.  Well, recently my son opened up and confessed to a lot more things going on while he was there than I knew about - to include my ex leaving him home alone for hours at a time and verbal abuse toward my son - (the last visit he called him a "dirty little motherf*cker."  When I asked my son why he hadn't told me these things, he told me it was because he was afraid I would tell his Dad and the next time he went down to visit, his Dad would whoop him.  So, come to find out... my son didn't want to go at ALL!  Time for Momma to put her foot down and protect this child.  The thing I'm really nervous about is my ex losing it and coming to find me to hurt me.  He has threatened it many times before!  It's not me so much that I'm worried about, but my son... and also my new husband and baby.  If anything were to ever happen to them because I was stupid enough to have married this idiot... I don't know how I'd ever go on.  Any suggestions on what to do?

I got my idea of parenting by dating for years (briefly being engaged to) a custodial father.  It was a real education, believe me.  Not just his over-indulgent over-parenting, but that of every parent of his kids' friends...  It's absolutely pandemic today.  I admit I want a life of my own, so no thank you...

Here I am caught in the middle of things I cannot quite put together. I am a mother of three children with two fathers. I have a pretty good relationship with my oldest childs father. We live a great distance apart but have kept an open communication. My younger two childrens father, stepmother, and I have a very poor relationship. It feels like I can never do anything to satisfy them. Sometimes we do well for a couple of months, but it always reverts back to the old ways. For the most part we can't agree on anything. On the other hand I am also a stepmother. My stepsons mom and I get along great! We have totally different parenting styles but neither one of us try to push our own styles on the other one. We have dinners together, birthday parties, and never argue about visitation. My delimma is I get along with two out of three parties I am involved with and can't understand why the other one just doesn't seem to work.