Topic : 01/27 Money Disasters

I have lots of thoughts on the first couple. I was fully prepared not to like the wife, but she grew on me. My husband and I are also having severe financial problems due to him being laid off after moving across the country to take his "dream job" - it has been a nightmare. But we are working through it, and I found the couple to be interesting. How in the world did they meet? They seem like polar opposites.

I can understand how the wife would be taken aback at her situation, especially if she was born and raised in wealth. If you've never seen a trailer and then find yourself living in a trailer park, it is probably shocking. And honestly, it did not look like the nicest trailer park. I don't see why a nice little 1-bedroom apartment would not do. It would make her feel more comfortable and could be cheaper than the trailer. That would take care of the "I can't believe I live in a trailer" issue. But I digress....

Could she perhaps find a cash-paying job? Maybe there's a family in the trailer park who could use a baby-sitter or an elderly person who needs someone to run errands for them. I can't imagine it would be illegal for her to accept a cash-only type job like that.

I wish Dr. Phil had gone into why the husband never turned in his police application. That seems to be pretty big to me. The husband did not talk much and I have a feeling that he has NO self esteem and is used to being treated poorly. If my in-laws ever locked me out of the house, I would be devastated. However, if he really has no drive or ambition, then that would be hard to live with and married to forever. I think there is much more to the story that we saw.  

Regarding money, possessions in particular, time, power, ego, The more space, territory, leniency, accolade, latitude, whatever you are allowed, you will invariably fill.   

Ergo, if you pay off a credit card and you KNOW you have "x" amount of credit, the majority of people will without question strive to fill that credit availability or if it's time, carry a project time allotment to the max (perhaps even procrastinate to the deadline), if it's power, exude authority when it isn't necessary or appropriate, make decisions without much thought because one can. 

It takes discipline of spirit and sometimes the simple act of waiting 24 hours until the purchase, decision or action should be made and a lot of the time, there is a world of difference in what is necessary and what is compulsive behavior. 

I was 11 when my uncle gave me that advice and it took a long time for it to settle into my spirit and affect my life to it's full implication. Not that it works all the time, but every now and again, his words ring in my heart and I make the attempt to heed them. 

Occasionally, it has saved me from major mistakes.  Perhaps if more of us practiced this principle, we wouldn't be faced with so very many crises and I for one am guilty of lots and lots of them. I speak mainly to myself. 

Harvard Law Professor Elizabeth Warren, a periodic guest on Dr. Phil has discussed the leading causes of bankruptcy several times on Dr. Phil.  She's quoted in this article:  http://www.inthesetimes.com/issue/25/10/nelson2510.html 

"'The actual data on bankruptcy in America tells a different story. A team of social scientists and legal experts working on the Consumer Bankruptcy Project have examined thousands of recent bankruptcy cases and found that only a small fraction actually involve "irresponsible over-consumption." The leading causes of bankruptcy, they determined, are job loss, medical debt and divorce. Harvard Law Professor Elizabeth Warren, who co-directed the study, says the bankruptcy bill "targets working families who are victims of circumstance and lets creditors squeeze them harder.'"  

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I've known dishonest people--friends of friends-- who have intentionally run up their credit cards immediately prior to becoming bankrupt, buying everything from computers to Australia/New Zealand vacations.  But the irresponsible over spenders are by far the exception. 

Hi, mom5athome, 

I am gathering that you live in the states.  I live in Canada so I don't know the difference (if any) about the bankruptcy.  In my case I was in my early 20's, had a really good job, good money and then I got 2 credit cards.  That put me in trouble, I went and declared bankruptcy.  That was over 20 years ago.  Today I have no credit cards, if I can't afford it, I don't get it.  I also tried debt consilation.  I felt for myself  that the bankruptcy was better for me, and I have not looked back since.  Mind you not having credit cards sometimes can be a pain in the neck, but there can always be away around it.  My suggestion would be to look into both (if you have both in the states) and see what they tell you.  The bankruptcy will cost you something (it does in Canada)  but it would be alot less than what you owe.  Take your time and make the right choice for you and your family 

I watched todays show with great interest, as I can't seem to stay out of the 'overdrawn' on my chequeing account at some point during my month.  I don't (won't/can't) have any credit cards, and try not to impulse purchase anything, but some times, my depression gets ahead of my brain. I am bi-polar, with severe agaraphobia and generalized anxiety, so do my shopping on EBay.  I am trying to order the free budget book/guide.... but not getting through.  Also what do you do if you don't have a credit card? Being unable to balance my money is a huge stress for me, as a child, we lost our house twice to forclosures, and often didn't have food.  I went to college and did OK... balanced my accounts and everything, until I had my breakdown and was diagnosed with bi-polar at 39 years.  

Until recently my grocery shopping was done for me by a friend, but I am now forcing myself to do it, and also doing 3 hours of volunteer work with the 'Handicapped Horse Riders' to give me something I love to do OUT of the house.   I have always loved horses, so working with them and helping others in need is great for my self esteem.   It isn't easy.... but I have also started eating much healthier, and trying to loose weight.  I have read all of Dr. Phil's books on weight control.