First of all let me say that I truly feel for this family. Mom and dad defiantly have their hands full. In this family the 16 year old is in charge. I think that Amanda would deep down really appreciate it if her parents took charge. I am willing to bet that she feels out of control and desires for her parents to challenge her, and yank a knot in her tail. To make her behave. I think that Amanda would do great in a program likes Outward Bound. I think that Amanda probably has some deep hurts, and probably is not getting the male attention that she needs from her dad, therefore she is seeking it from someone else.
I think that mom and dad need to absolutely take charge of the situation. Dad seems to passive. Amanda is very skilled at "divide and conquer" (*Note the scene where Amanda said "I knew mom lied and dad didn't back his wife up, and coward away at telling the real truth which was obvious to all that he truly was not as involved as he should have been in helping his wife find his daughter) I think that dad's passiveness was highlighted in the shower scene where Amanda was uttering profanities and threw her tantrum that Dad just passively sat on the couch and failed to take control of the situation. It seems to me that these parents are afraid of Amanda. She is aggressive, she is out of control and she learned that by acting aggressively, and out of control mom and dad cower away and give into her desires, no matter how unreasonable. That is just not right.
Amanda: If you want to be treated like an adult you need to act like one. Acting like one means first and foremost taking responsibility for your actions and not blaming your decisions on your parents behavior. 2nd you need to apologize to your mother. She is your mother! You demand that your parents recognize you, and your desires and that they respect you but you seemingly are absolutely unwilling to give them any respect. You wreak of an "I don't care what anyone thinks" attitude. Be glad your not my daughter because you would have been on complete and total lock down with absolutely zero privileges. And by the way, telephones are privileges. . The laws very from state to state but in the state that I live in children under 18 must obey the house hold rules and failure to do so will land someone like you in the DH with incorrigible child charges.
Dad: One of the things you need to do is to PLUG INTO YOUR DAUGHTER Love your daughter, as only a father can because the first person that comes along that loves her more than you do, is the one that she is going to marry. It seems to me that you are absent emotionally from your daughter. If you don't she will be out the door and married by the time she is 18 to the first "joe" that comes along! I believe that if you were meeting her emotional needs she never would have run away., and never would have sought the attention that she did from this young boy. 2nd Back your wife up when she disciplines Amanda, don't let Amanda divide and conquer. Step up and lead this family. I am puzzled as to why you tolerate your daughters aggressiveness toward your wife??? She is your wife! My view is that your job is to protect your wife, even if it means protecting her from your own child!
Mom: Don't fear Amanda. Don't be afraid of jerking a knot in her tail and doing whatever you have to do to get her to behave. Yeah sure, she will be a legal adult at 18 but she won't have the experience to back it up. She will still need and desire guidance and love from you and your husband probably for the next several years of her life. I find that as a mom I want to just be merciful to the kids, but they need strong discipline at times.
2ndly It seemed to me that there was a lot of emotional disconnect between you and your husband. I think on the show it said that he moved out after she ran away. I am sure that placed a lot of stress on your marriage, that was probably already in trouble. I really hope that your marriage doesn't dissolve, I really hope that the two of you can find a way to put your marriage back together and give your kids the greatest gift of all, a mom and dad under one roof who truly love and care for each other. You two are the role models.
Amanda respect your parents and their decisions you might be surprised how much easier life becomes if you are willing to do that. They absolutely should not compromise with you when you are engaging in such dangerous behavior with people who hopefully are facing criminal charges for taking you across state lines.
God Bless.
(Original Air Date: 02/07/06) Follow Dr. Phil inside an incredible family drama. Sixteen-year-old Amanda has been missing for over four months. Her parents, Paul and Linda, say she ran away with her boyfriend, George, and what they call his "Gypsy family." Dr. Phil puts his own investigator on the case in a hunt that stretches across 10 state lines. See Amanda’s tearful reunion with her mother, but then learn why their sweet moments together soon turn sour. Dr. Phil hears the teen's emotional confession about where she's been, and where she hopes to go next. Plus, the family erupts in a conflict so explosive, authorities have to be called to their hotel. What sets Amanda off? Dr. Phil puts some tough questions to George, and Amanda's family makes a heart-wrenching decision about their daughter's future. Can Amanda's life be set straight? Talk about the show here.
