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Topic : 08/16 The Hunt for Amanda

Number of Replies: 581
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, February 03, 2006, 04:17:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 02/07/06) Follow Dr. Phil inside an incredible family drama. Sixteen-year-old Amanda has been missing for over four months. Her parents, Paul and Linda, say she ran away with her boyfriend, George, and what they call his "Gypsy family." Dr. Phil puts his own investigator on the case in a hunt that stretches across 10 state lines. See Amanda’s tearful reunion with her mother, but then learn why their sweet moments together soon turn sour. Dr. Phil hears the teen's emotional confession about where she's been, and where she hopes to go next. Plus, the family erupts in a conflict so explosive, authorities have to be called to their hotel. What sets Amanda off? Dr. Phil puts some tough questions to George, and Amanda's family makes a heart-wrenching decision about their daughter's future. Can Amanda's life be set straight? Talk about the show here.

 

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February 7, 2006, 12:57 pm CST

..

I'm a 17 year old girl and was  in  this position when I was only 15. I was dating a guy that verbally and physically abused me but I could not bring myself to admit it. I acted towards my parents in the same way Amanda is acting. I even began cutting myself. They forbid me to see him and I had to get psychiatric help. Eventually, I did realize that I was in a bad situation and needed to get out. I couldn't have realized that without my parents. I see nothing wrong with Amanda's parents trying to forbid her to talk/see him. I do think that Amanda should get some kind of psychiatric help. George is controlling her. It may not be intentionally, but he is. She has a lot of growing up to do. Amanda and George both seem very ignorant. And if George really loved her and could see how he's hurting her, he'd back away and let her get help.
 
February 7, 2006, 12:58 pm CST

Amanda

I just finished watching this show and couldn't help but wonder if Amanda was ever tested for drugs?  Her violent outbursts and odd behavior are very similar to one on drugs. 
 
February 7, 2006, 1:02 pm CST

Little Concerned

This is not the first show Dr. Phil has done on runnaways, and just like last time it appears that only one side of the story is getting out. I myself left home at 16, spent five years on the street and decided for myself that I wanted better. So I started working, got my GED and at the end summer session, I will graduate (offically in Nov) with a Hons.BA in Sociology. Between my life experiences and my formal eduaction I know that youth who leave home, generally have reasons for not wanting to be there. Usually the percieved danger of the streets seems a lot  better because it is easier to be hurt by strangers than tby he ones who are suppose to love and protect you. That may not be the case here, the family from what I can tell truly have their daughters best interest at heart. I am just surprised that Dr. Phil did not do more to consider Amanda's side of the story. I believe that as adults, especially in this field, we ought to encouraging youth to voice themselves, not ship them off to a closed facility because its easier than facing reality. That is where they put me the last time, and it was the reason I left for good and went clear across the country, (Canada is big!..lol).
 
February 7, 2006, 1:02 pm CST

02/07 The Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: misslemon

Honey, it's too late for Amanda's parents to tell her that they are the parents and she needs to respect them.  As far as everybody screaming at each other, well, just look at where that's gotten them, please?  These are people who have not parented their daughter properly.  As long as she was a compliant child, their bad parenting didn't manifest itself.  Once she started to grow up and have thoughts and feelings of her own, TOO LATE!  Happy children who come from homes where they feel like they are valued, respected, and loved even in tough times do not run away.  In this case, Amanda's parents waited until way too late to assert their parental authority and THEY need to be sent away to a "Copper Canyon" for adults so they can learn how to be better parents once Amanda comes home.
I only saw the last section of this show and yes she needs to respect her parents - she should have been taught this from birth not at 16!  I also wonder why if you just get your child back who ran away would you say okay lets send HER away so she can learn how to behave and not take responsibility to relearn how to be a parent!  The boyfriend and his parentss also need to take responsibilty in this situation.  It's not just a one way road but a 4 way intersection!!
 
February 7, 2006, 1:03 pm CST

where's the respect

i sympathize for the parents but i also sympathize with the girl. being only 4 years senior to her i know how she probably feels. 16 is such an awkward age!!! so much is asked of you but you're on the verge on doing what you want for yourself. i was disgusted when the parents were trying to physically take away the girl's phone. don't they realize that their actions are only making the situation worse and of course the daughter would act like that, she's cornered, she feels trapped and her only outlet in this situation is her phone to talk to her boyfriend. and what's so wrong if she does. the maturity of both sides is not present. the parents are the adults therefore they should act like it.
 
February 7, 2006, 1:04 pm CST

Amanda

I think Amanda is so much better off going to that school. She will get an education which she needs for her future. She will get professional people to help her understand herself and give her the self confidence she needs. I do however think her parents need professional help in dealing with Amanda and each other. The had no right in the shower. Not only that to attack her like that would make the child want to take off. Dr. Phil, did you see that? I think Amanda's father knows things haven't been handled the right way but is afraid of his wife so he goes along with everything is wife does and then in front of Amanda blames it all on his wife behind her back. No backbone!  I had just heard on TV that you are going to have a follow up show so I'm guessing that Amanda took off again. If so I hope she gets smart and contracts you Dr. Phil. With any luck she will find her way to that school. Without an eduction she will go nowhere. That would be very sad because I think she's a smart little girl who could have a future.
 
February 7, 2006, 1:04 pm CST

One more thing

Also in reading the previous posts, I think it is equally sad that people are saying "oh well, she wasn't being beaten at home, she wasn't being abused, her parents weren't on drugs.....".  WHEN did those things become the sole indicators for a dysfunctional family.  Make no mistake, despite their appareance, this family is dysfunctional.  So what if there was no verbal, physical abuse...their 16 yo daughter left home for FIVE months and was quite content to stay away.  And their older daughter is still at home for some unknown reason.
 
February 7, 2006, 1:04 pm CST

also on Amanda side

Quote From: katraestar

Wow!!!!  What a show!  I got really angry while I was watching this show.  First of all I felt like if Amanda wants to be away from her family then let her.  If she wants to ruin her life...let her it is her's to ruin.  I just know that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.  Alawys trying to take her phone away is crazy...she'll just buy another one.  It's like the parents don't really love her but they want to control her and not let her grow up or be her own person.  They want to turn her over to an agency because this way they don't have to deal with her.  I guess in this story it is really important to me that Amanda knows I am own her side.  She feels like no one is.  I hope that she will live her own life make her own choices good or bad because once a child is 14 or 15 years old they are the person they are going to be.  Amanda you can go to a judge and tell them you want to llive on own and as long as have a steady job and show you have means of support they will allow this.  You may be happier going this rout I don't know.  I hope that things work out with you and your boyfriend and if it is meant to be it will be no matter what.  Maybe your boyfirned's family will adopt you...be certain of what you want and go for it.  I hope you find happiness in your life be it with your family or not.  Good luck to you. 

I agree! I am on Amanda's side. It doesn't matter if she's 16, it depends on how mature she is. And obviously she made it on her own for 5 months so I think she would be fine. Her parents need to loosen up and realize that they might as well support her now. and be there to help her if she is making a mistake with her boyfriend because in a year she can be with whoever she wants, and telling a teenage a girl that they can't see their boyfriend especially if their in love, is the last thing her parents should do because that is going to tear them apart. I also agree that if that was her cell phone, if she had the means to get a cell phone then let her have it. And yeah Amanda, you should go before a judge and file for an emancipation. You just need to get in high school or get your GED & get a job to prove that you are mature enough to be on your own.And if you plan on living with your boyfriend, then he also needs to get a GED and he already has a job, so he can prove he can help take care of you. And as far as everyone saying that she was acting like a 3 year old... what else is she soupose to do? let everyone run her life? that is all she can do, because she is only 16 now. that is why you need emancipated Amanda. I wish you the best of luck. I know what your going through, my mother made me stop seeing a boyfriend when I was 14 that I was dating for 2 1/2 years. And I will never forgive her for that!!!!
 
February 7, 2006, 1:06 pm CST

RE: Hunt for Amanda

Quote From: misslemon

 While Amanda is doing penance at Copper Canyon, what are Mom and Dad doing to make themselves better parents?  Are THEY getting counseling and learning how to compromise and get along with their child?  Because from what I saw, they have as much or more to learn about parenting as Amanda does about life.  That whole bathroom scene thing was horrible and mostly brought on by the parents total overreaction to their situation.  They are just as out of control as Amanda is.

 Also, I notice  the police weren't all that hot to use their resources to find Amanda probably because they know she is likely to be a habitual runaway and they can't run after her everytime she ditches the folks.  Dr. Phil will probably spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on Amanda and I bet it won't make one bit of difference. 



I can tell that you have not experienced this type of behavior from your own child.  These parents did NOT overreact. They simply had enough.  They all need counseling and I truly do think that Amanda needs time away in an environment like Copper.  It's a great program and I for one feel it will benefit her,......as I mentioned in a previous post, I do wonder if drugs have played a part in her behavior?
 
February 7, 2006, 1:06 pm CST

"GYPSIES & AMANDA"

TO EVERYBODY THAT HAD WATCHED DR. PHIL TODAY. YES, THERE ARE GYPSIES IN THE UNITED STATES. THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A GYPSY HAVE GYPSY KIDS AND LIVE BOTH A GYPSY AND A GORGER LIFESTYLE. YOU CANNOT BLAME THE GYPSIES FAMILY FOR AMANDAS BEHAVIOR. IT WAS EVIDENT THAT SHE WAS HAVING PROBLEMS AT HOME BEFORE "GEORGE" CAME ALONG. OUR KIDS GO TO SCHOOL, WE PAY OUR TAXES, AND MOST OF ALL WE HAVE ONLY OWNED 3 HOMES IN 16 YEARS WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED. SO, I THINK IT IS SAFE TO SAY YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS BUT, YOU CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY. EVERY FAMILY HAS DRUGGIES, PROSTITUTES, ALCOHOL ABUSERS, ETC. ETC. ETC.. I BELIEVE THE PROBLEMS TODAY BEGIN AT HOME. WHY WOULD YOU SEND A 17 YEAR OLD AWAY? I DON'T GET IT. SHE WILL BE GONE AND HAVE NO TRUST IN EITHER OF HER PARENTS BY THE TIME SHE IS 18. I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE DRAMA ABOUT A GYPSY. WE ARE ALL HUMAN BLACK,WHITE,ASIAN,GYPSY,CHINESE,ETC......... CAN'T WE JUST ALL GET ALONG AND HAVE A LITTLE MORE RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER?
 
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