Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

Everyone it was real nice that Dr. Phil started a board for Borderline Personality disorder.We may fit in the bi polar but not quite and the depression but this is a whole new board for us. Can we treat each other with respect and kindness like on the other boards. As a borderline person i know i take things very personal. My doctor says i have a thin skin. I know he is right. Sometimes when someone says something that black and white thinking comes in to play. would anyone agree. We are all at different stages of this illness and each need support from each other. And listen and read what others are trying to give as suggestions. Not one thing works for everyone. I had a counsler tell me that DBT would cure me in 6 weeks guarenteed. I dont belive him. Not to say that it wont help me. I am to newly diagnosed to decide what will help. Please everyone can we be encouraging to one another and be able to tell our stories. Thats part of the healing and as borderline i cant express my thoughts very well at times. so i do other thngs that i am not proud of. But isnt this board for just that. our thoughts and upbuilding others???? Just my stupid opinion on the matter.   Can we all work together????   

Blaze





 

Yes I'm here sweets! 

I just got home I had some things to do after the gym, How are you?  

I'm not good I'm depressed like always one minute I'm ok then the next I'm crying and raging like a bull. I'm trying to deal with my bipolar and PTSD and BPD all at the same time. It's so painful you know and I wish this pain would go away.   BPD is so hard to deal with blaze, I just found out this crap last year and now I'm starting to get a grasp of it. Of what this BPD illness,  I wish I knew when I was younger I would taken care of this. I'm so angry that my counsalor never told me about this and said I didn't need meds well he  does not have a degee in MD.  Counseling was not a waste of time,  I lost time from knowing that I had illnesses thats what I'm angry about it. We are like a onion, peeling away the pain from the past.  I pray and ask God please help me through this rough road that I'm walking on.  

hugggssss to you all 

lostgirl 

you sound like a pretty nice guy. To put up with what you have put up with. I was diagnosed in may with BPD. i was very angry at first since i didnt know what it involved. Now i am handling it better. i am not sure about the authority thing. But suffers with this disorder like myself have abandonment issues, dont feel validated in our feelings and or have been abused in some way. i cant express how i am feeling. Lots of anger. so i cut or purge to get those feelings out. sorry if thats too graffic.  

does her daughter do any of that? going under mental health web sites and finding out as much as you can about this disorder is a big help. i know it helped me. i know when i blow up then after its like nothing happened. This is part of the disorder. Does she do that? From what i have read its important to have counseling. They have a new therapy DBT especially for borderlines. may help. i dont know i am doing congenitive therapy. But i have to want to do it.  

as a person with BPD i dont have a problem with authority maybe it has something to do of feeling out of control. and not being able to control her envirement. anyway you are a sweet person to be so supportive. keep up the good work. I have a husband that is very supportive. thank goodness. i am not be around to tell this to you. if i didnt mention it before cant remember ones with BPD also have abandonment issues weather real or imagined. mine were real. i was adopted out at age 4 and felt abandoned my whole life. then my adoptive parents gave up on me because of the illness. that just tripled my abandonment issues. anyway i hope all works out for you and your relationship and you step daughter? its a roller coaster ride that wont end. But there are good momnets in between.  

Blaze  

I have your sympathy with this illness, I also have this severe illness the best advice I can give you is to get the work book called (walking on egg shells) living with a person who has BPD. Sooner you find out she has it now she can get help for it and don't have to live her adult life with going through this illness with no help. I also experience what her daughter is right now when I was in my teens back then they did not have the full knowledge of this illness. I went through my teens and through my adult having BPD and did not even know why I was feeling (Crazy) inside. I use to cut myself and burn myself with erasers when I was in my teens was in a girls home back then when I was 16. I was very violent throwing things and getting in fights and always running away drinking and drugging. The pain from the past and the abuse that went on as a child was so tense and severe. I was giving up to the ward of the state when I was 9 years old, and my real father sexual abuse me then my foster dad and sister did also. They use to beat me so bad I almost died from the beatings and the marks and bumps all over my body. I stuffed my anger for a long time and when I got in my teens my RAGE came off the surface and start drinking real heavy and doing drugs. My life was such a mess and was raped 3 times when I was in my teens, and the pain was so tense and start raging and slashing out to others. This is where BPD comes from the abuse as a child and my mom dumping off to the welfare office. I could go on and on but I'm not going to about my past you have a idea what I went through and this is just scrape of the surface what I went through. You can be there for her daughter and give her emotional support and help her through the pain inside. I don't know her history and why she is BPD, I know from experience they are abused and rejected as a child this is what causes BPD. I have study it and now reading a book (I hate you don't leave me) BPD are scared of rejection.

I struggle with BPD and now I'm seeing a case worker from the mental health center who is the best who works there and is helping me to change my behaviors. It's a behavioral change and learning new coping skills. BPD is the worse to treat and it's hard to live with a person who also has it because of their violent mood swings. A lot of BPD are lonely and have a lot of chaos in their life and they cut people out of their life. I hope this helps you trying to understand this severe illness that she has.   My case worker is going to  send my to DBT groups also for new coping skills  for BPD.  I'm going to send you some links for DBT and BPD.  

    Hello lost girl , 

 Thanks for the response and kind words. 

 You sound like a kind person your self  ! 

 I appreciate all the research info you sent  !!! I will invest in them and share these with this family.  

 Those of you who fight this illness and are  taking your time reaching out to others (  especially myself ) have my respect and gratitude.   I will do my best to share your thoughts and information so that others can be better informed and more understanding ; should they encounter others with this disorder. 

  Thank you for being open about your experiences and difficulties there are similarities It seems from what little I have gleened from this message board ,abondonment and possibly sexual abuse are two key factors with BPD. Yes she has done some cutting and is or has used drugs.  

 Is the photo  a logo or actual pic? the reason I ask is because it has similar charateristics of this young lady.  Mother and daughter are in professional counseling .Good and not so good days. 

 " I hate you don't leave me'"sounds like a book  I and her mother need to read !!  I am not sure if the daughter is willing to get really working on her illness.  Do you think that at this time it could be a realistic expectation ? 

As a father of five  and grandfather of  12 wonderful grandchildren it is beyond comprehension as to how a father or parent could sexually abuse their child. Reality shows it happens  and what a tragedy it is.   

 Again thank you for the courage and openness with me .,that I  might better understand and look for opportunities to build her self esteem and show her how important she is as an individual  

  (even on her bad days). 

 In closing may I share a thought with you ?.  When you hurt so bad,  remember that you have helped me and probably many others get a better insight of this illness. That is agreat thing and you are a person of courage and goodness . 

 I wish you more good days ahead and a peaceful heart. 

  looper  

 Blaze, 

   Thank you for taking the time to respond . It takes a lot of courage to face this illness and share your journey with others you do not know. I appreciate your candor in with your response. 

Your insights will be helpful to myself and I will share your thoughts and information with this young girls mother. Just to be clear ,I am not married to this young lady's, mother however ,I can assure you this illness would not scare me off.  Good information builds knowledge which brings understanding and patience. Thank you.  

   I want you to know that your sharing will help me learn patience and insight  ,what a great asset  that will be! 

     Yes this dugther has exhibited some of your mentioned behaviors and I can see the possibilitis of abondonment issues: as the Mom and Dad were divorced before I met her mom. there may have been sibling sexual abuse issues as well.     

    I will keep you posted as to further developments as time goes by. 

    Regarding your history : It seems as though you have had more than a fair share of trials and emptiness . It is wonderful that you have a supportive husband in your life  see ," the Man Upstairs" does look after us.   

  I wish you peace and quiet  happy moments and with  your  husband as well . 

   Be strong and courageous  in your journey with this disorder.  

   You are a winner !!! 

   looper 

Hey Blue  

welcome back to the board. i thought maybe you might not come back. I like the way you express yourself. your right we each have our heavy burdens and loads but with the encourgament from others maybe we can help one another. Being BPD its a very intense thing to have. and it effects eveyone we come in contact with. Maybe with this board we can lighten up. and just have fun too.  

You a valueable person and i know we can learn from each other.  

blaze