Topic : Borderline Personality Disorder

Just stumbled in here and am I glad I did!  Diagnosed w/ Borderlind PD last Nov. and know that I need the DBT, but my husband makes too much $$ for me to go to the county mental health and not enough $$ for a therapist. Insurance companies won't touch me for 12 months or more, IF AT ALL due to "pre-existing condition", and IF they will, they're wanting far more $$ than we can afford. SSDD.  I've been all over the net and am still searching.  Thanks to all who've posted, and especially to lostgirl for the links.  I'll check into them, also.  Can anyone else point me to free or low cost DBT groups on-line?  I live in a VERY SMALL community in California, and I'm looking for something close...just haven't found it, YET! 

Diagnosed many years ago with Depression, PTSD, et al, and my treatment for that has been sporatic because I was too overwhelmed raising kids on my own, going to college, getting new jobs, got laid off 3 times (company reorganizations twice and lack of business the last time) freakin' out over that and hadn't the time, $$,support, or where-with-all to take care of myself or to navigate or to make "The System" (if there is one) work FOR me instead of against me. 

Just recently got started back on SSRI so I'm getting some mental stability (?) back, and I know I have a long way to go and much to learn, and I may not get HEALED FOR GOOD this time either, but I'm gonna do all I can, when I can!  Any and all assistance is appreciated. 

SOMETIMES THE BEST THING IS TO JUST KNOW I'M NOT CRAZY OR THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS LIKE I DO.  THANKS!!! 

They say we BPDs quit a lot... 

Oops!  That thing about us "Quitting therapy...I don't know if that's true or not.  I know I wouldn't have if I'd had the $$ and supportive backing. 

P.S.  Just finished reading "Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified" by Robert O. Friedel, M.D. and recommend it highly.  Information is power! 

welcome to the board. dont know any one in calif. no way to go to mental health and ask if they if there is anyone else that can help you out? we are in the same boat. make to much $$. but i did get social security disability and they gave me medicar. couldnt believe it. since i thought we made too much. It took two years to go thru it but worth every sweat and tear. have yu thought of going in that direction? anyway glad to have you on the board. Its a tough disorder.  

blaze  

good morning lost girl. Just thought i would say hello to you today. have a wonderful day.  

Blaze  

Unfortunately I am unable to remember which site I found this on, but I love it.  It seems to describe my feelings, and most other BPD-inflicted, appropriately. 

"Most people, when they get a flat tire on the highway call Triple A. I call the suicide hotline." 

Unfortunately I don't have the author's name who wrote this. I found it by researching BPD at some point within the past couple of years. Each time I found something useful, I cut and pasted it into a Word document. Most of the time I also included the source but this time I neglected to.  I apologize. Hopefully this will help you in some way. 

INDICATORS OF BPD: 

Is someone you care about causing you a great deal of pain?

Do you find yourself concealing what you think or feel because you're afraid of the other person's reaction or because it just doesn't seem worth the horrible fight or hurt feelings that will follow?

Do you feel that anything you say or do will be twisted and used against you? Are you blamed and criticized for everything wrong in the relationship-even when it makes no logical sense?

Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages, alternating with periods when the other person acts perfectly normal and loving? Does no one believe you when you explain that this is going on?

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or even lied to sometimes? Do you feel like you're the victim of emotional blackmail?

Do you feel like the person you care about sees you as either all good or all bad, with nothing in between? Is there sometimes no rational reason for the switch?

Are you afraid to ask for things in the relationship because you will be told that you're too demanding or that there is something wrong with you? Are you told that your needs are not important?

Is the person always denigrating or denying your point of view? Do you feel that their expectations of you are constantly changing, so you can never do anything right?
Are you accused of doing things you never did and saying things you never said? Do you feel misunderstood a great deal of the time, and when you try to explain do you find that the other person doesn't believe you?

Are you constantly being put down? When you try to leave the relationship does the other person try to prevent you from leaving in a variety of ways (anything from declarations of love and promises to change to implicit or explicit threats)?

Do you have a hard time planning anything (social engagements, etc.) because of the other person's moodiness, impulsiveness, or unpredictability? Do you make excuses for their behavior or try to convince yourself that everything is okay?

Right now, are you thinking, "I had no idea that anyone else was going through this?" 

Well if there is anyway you can get help try to. Call the mental health clinic in your area and see if there are any options. its not a fun disorder to live with and doing it alone. hang in there.