Messages By: jettav

I am proud to be a stay at home mom and I have absolutely no regrets. I'm happy, my children are happy and my hubby is happy. Always easy? Is anything always easy? no. But hubby and I have a system in place and it works, we love and respect each other and we know when one another needs a time out and some down time. My girls are socially active, happy and independent little girls and certainly loves life. My oldest will be attending 7 1/2 hours a week of preschool this fall because she wants to be with her friends as she loves to play and be with others. She is smart and ready for any challenge that you put in front of her. Of course my youngest will be staying home with mommy and will love the special attention. LOL. I will admit that I already feel a little empty just knowing my little girl will not be home during these few hours but I am content and happy with the way things are in my home. I certainly am blessed.

Tried to log in last night but couldn't for whatever reasons but all is well and here I am. This board is gonna take some time to get used to but not too bad at the moment. I suppose a little change doesn't hurt from time to time though I am one that doesn't like change too much, just happy as can be with the way things are. Hope every one is well and enjoying the hot summer. Life is good here and hope to hear from you all soon.

hey poetmom, I guess I should have placed my message under yours instead of above it, good grief, this is gonna take some time for my brain to get this under control. :)

My children have always slept in their own beds with an occasional sleeping with mommy and daddy for whatever reasons, we do love to snuggle and have those times together but I definetly enjoy my bed along side of hubby, just the two of us. Now, recently both my girls, 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 have been getting up in the night and either getting in bed with us or on the couch, they like sleeping together, so we are in the process of putting them in the same room togehter and if they want they can sleep together, We have turned the smaller room into a play room and they absolutely love it and now when they wake up, they go in there. we do not do naps here and they are ususally ready for bed at 9 and they say, "night night" and off to bed they go. Of course we do the bed time routine, snack, bathes, 30 minute movie, Bible story, prayers, and then bed time. and if they don't head towards bed, I let them play for about 10 minutes then I start counting and by the time I get to five they are giggling and in bed and asleep in no time. This schedule works perfect for them. I think one thing that is helping is the fact that they feel in control, they choose the snack, the movie and the story and they are easy to lay down. consistency is the key I think, kids reaslly do adapt to the life style that they are brought up in.

My children (4 and 2) are learning that cosequences follow action whether good or bad, and when they are told to do something or not to do it, whatever the case might be, they know that they better listen. They do not get three chances, (though I have done it at times) When I tell them not to do something or whatever the case might be and they disobey , the consequence happens then, so basically, they are told once. They also get praised for obeying and making the right/good choices. Of course they are still young and learning but they know about boundaries and that they better not cross them, even my two year old will give me the guilty look when she knows she has crossed a boundary. I do choose my battles and I communicate with my children, and consistency is definetly a good parenting key. We as parents should know our children and what makes them tick and when we have found what works with them to help them make the right choices then we need to stick with it. I do agree that many children now days seem to run the household, I see it so many times but with out boundaries, consistency,communication and discipline,parents will fail right along with their children. None of us are perfect and we all make our share of mistakes but as parents we need to step up to the plate and get ahold of our households or we will just be at a loss..............

just overlook me here people, I am a bit confused with the new system here, I am definetly a little frazzled. LOL Any one out there? I amn ot usually on this thing on the weekend but I guess I am just a little anxious about this new set up. :) Have a great day everyone

discipline is something all of us need in life, it is something that is needed to keep us on the right track. discipline for children is about teaching and guiding them into learning right from wrong, learning to make good choices and helping them become good and productive adults. All of us as parents have differnet views and experiences and what works for one child may not work for another, whether a parent spanks or not should not be the determining factor on whether we think a parent is a good parent or not, but looking at the children and seeing what is being accomplished with them, in their attitudes, their behaviors, their relationships with their parents/family and how they treat others can be keys in determining how a parent is doing with their child but at the same time realizing that children are not alike and some are harder then others to discipline and in that case, chances are the parent has not sought out the "right" discipline for that child. I think some people are too quick to judge becasue they do not agree with a technique. I personally do not have a problem with spanking as I have spanked on a few occasions, a swat on the diaper, but for the most part, I have found that rediercting, taking something away for a period of time (for my four year old, she loses priveleges), and communication and consistency is definetly imporant keys in disciplining our children. children need to know what they did wrong and why they are being disciplined. My four year old always knows these things and though she will throw a temper cause she has lost a privelege, she knows it is a waste of time that I am not gonna give in. Lucky for me, I have two easy kids who do not require too much discipline but they do know that the boundaries are not meant to be crossed, my two year old is a little harder but catching on. :) There are many resources out there to help parents and it is too bad that there are many not seeking out those resources, none of us are perfect but it is possible to raise good productive kids into becoming great adults, it isn't a matter of whether you spank or not, it is a matter of knowing your child and seeking out what will help them to grow and to mature and for myself personally, I am not afraid to change my technique if needed. We need to ask our selves if what we are doing is helping our kids, if it isn't then something is wrong. I know people who came from both sides of the issues and those with good loving parents who had the children's interests as a top priority, are great productive loving adults, some have fallen through the cracks of very bad parenting, some were spanked and some were not. definetly working in the inner city with all classes of people have opened my eyes when it comes to parenting. And of course there are always exceptions......(some kids who grow up in great loving homes end up on the other side as well as some who come from abusive situations come out on the good end of things which I am a good example of that). I believe I personally am a good parent as well as my husabnd, not perfect but we are content with the way things are going in our house hold, and every one is happy and easy to live with.

I can see where this can be a problem with sahm's but I have found ways to do this. There are mom's groups (MOPS) in some areas where you can meet as mothers and the children can go to their classrooms and play and learn. ( as far as I know they are all christian based). I attend a mom's bible study and the children have each other to play with, depending on the situation, some times the kids are in the same room with us while other times, there is some one available to entertain them, but we as mothers have each other to talk to and we can also pitch in to help one another if needed. Of course I have no problem getting a sitter and then going out with hubby or a friend for a bit, my children loves going to sitters and playing with others, and though I enjoy my time out, I love coming back to my children and them running to greet me. :) I also take my children to the library story times and activities and even to the park, and I always find some one to chat with even while entertaining my kids. I think it is all in the attitude and what we are willing to do with our time. I don't have a problem with taking my kids places with me to be with other adults, I have found that these other adults will help and entertain your children, who doesn't like little ones!? I also do not hesitate to let hubby know that I am going out with a friend and he is staying home with the girlsd(of course I make sure there are no plans already.) which is not a problem with us but in some cases, those who do not have supportive husbands, get a sitter and go out or maybe find some one that you can take turns watching one anothers children while the other goes out.

You have a great attitude. Enjoy your life and be all that you can be, work on your goals and be happy with your self, we only live one life down here on earth and I believe we are all born with a purpose and I like the saying, "....God ain't finished with me yet". Though I did start dating at a young age, I went several years with out dating and met my now husband at the age of 28 and married when I was 29. He was very much worth the wait. Being the positive and sincere person that you seem to be, I do believe that your true love will come, take your time. I know several women who only dwell on wishing that they were married and thinks about the fear of growing old alone, but to me that is a waste of time, it is one thing to hope and dream and pray that you will meet the one for you but another when it is all you think about. Life is precious and you seem very smart and definetly have respect for your self, I think liking who we are and striving for goals is very imporant. I actually loved being single and had no regrets that I wasn't married, life was good and I accomplished a lot and when I met my now husabnd, it just added more spark to my life. Be yourself and respect life, live life the very best that you can and believe in your self and find that purpose in life, I believe you will certainly go far with the attitude that you have and please know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, I think the best thing a person can do, is wait and give your self to your one and only, certainly does work.

I believe in True Love and believe it can last a life time. it takes work, respect, patience, determination, committment and communication and even compromises at times on both people's part, working together is a very imporant key to keep the fire burning. Love isn't always easy but certainly worth the effort. ANd though sometimes it seems like one or the other doesn't want the love to last, I believe that though it takes two to make a marriage, sometimes it only takes one to get the ball rolling meaning sometimes, it may take one putting in most of the effort but I have seen fallen marriages come back together because of the prayers and committment of one person, it is possible to keep true love and it is definetly real.