Messages By: mikao2603

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July 22, 2005, 3:48 pm PDT

Being a Good Friend

I think being a true good friend, involves being there whenever someone needs you. And of course being able to deal with the faults of the other person.
 
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July 22, 2005, 3:56 pm PDT

Ending Toxic Friendships

THe first step i guess, is to acknowledge it when you're in a toxic friendship. Like Dr. Phil says: you can't change what you don't acknowledge. But I can tell that even when you do, it is hard to end that friendship, from first hand experience. I have a friendship with someone that is not toxic, but pretty useless because we hardly see or talk each other. I don't dislike the person, but have no feelings for her anymore. Even though, I find it very difficult to tell her that because I know she values the little so calles friendship that we have. How would you deal with this?

 

Jo

 
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July 22, 2005, 4:05 pm PDT

Tired of Being Single

I'm a 40-year old guy, wheelchair bound. I would like to have a relationship but women are very reluctant because of the chair. I can imagine that, but it's hard to deal with. On the other hand i'm scared of getting into a relationship because I am scared of the physical intimacy (my body had a lot to endure from the numerous surgeries I had).

How can I get to terms with that?

 

Jo

 
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July 22, 2005, 4:20 pm PDT

Fitness!

A year ago, I did not exercise at all. Until it came to a point that I had heart palpatations while resting. I went to my physician. She told me to do some sports to strengthen my heart and loose weight.

This was a pivital moment for me. Now, a year later I still have to loose a lot of weight but I'm feeling a lot better than before. I do fitness training 3 times or more a week. At least 50 minutes of cardio training every session did wonders for my heart. I would not do without it anymore!

 

Jo

 
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July 22, 2005, 4:28 pm PDT

Defining Your Authentic Self

Well, looks as if we get our message board back...I have missed reading everybody's input....

Hope everyone is doing well.

Teri

Hello Teri,

 

I'm new to the message boards here, although i'm a regular visitor of the site. Are you living your authentic self? I finally do!

 

Regards,

 

Jo

 
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July 24, 2005, 1:04 am PDT

Ending Toxic Friendships

If you have no good, friendship feelings for someone, it's better to let them go. Even though your friend values what little relationship you have, it would be a service to her to let her go and form real friendships with someone who wants to spend time with her.

Thank you SHelley, deep down my heart i knew this of course. I don't have the idea that I hold her back to get involved with other people.

Another reason for ending this friendship, would be that her boyfriend is extremely jealous. He thinks I want to take her away from him, which has never been my intention. I don't have those feelings for her at all.

 

Thanks for your great advice,

Jo

 
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July 24, 2005, 1:23 am PDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

For me, this is a really hot item. I know that I avoid relationships because of the way I look (I'm wheelchair bound and had several surgeries). When I see a woman I like, I don't dare to approach her, just because of this. This is especially the case when the woman is very good looking. I guess I feel intimidated then, and back off immediately.

 

Jo

 
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July 24, 2005, 1:39 am PDT

Introduction

Hello all,

 

Since i'm pretty new on the message boards I'd like to introduce myself a little bit. I'm Jo, and I live in the Netherlands. I'm a 40 year old male. I've been wheelchair bound all my life. I recently found my authentic self, when I finally decided to follow my heart on getting a new job. All my life I've given the control of what I would do withy my life carreer wise, to institutions that 'knew best'.

 

Recently I started my own little practice as a registered stresscounsellor. The business is just developing so the financial part of it is not so good yet. But believe me, i'm loving every second of it!

 

Jo

 
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July 24, 2005, 2:13 am PDT

Obesity

I'm 41 year old, Married I have 1 child a 6 year old daughter, I weigh over 300 lbs. And my daughter weighs over 100 lbs. I used to have an night mares when she was a infant that she would be crying wanting a Hershey bar I had in my hand and I would say no, no, no, baby I cant give it to you I don't want you to be fat like mommy, I would not give her cakes, cookies, nothing sweet or fattening then she went in for her 2 yr check up the Dr told me she was under weight I thought to my self "OH MY GOSH I AM DEPRIVING MY DAUGHTER BE CAUSE OF MY FEARS" I had mixed emotions so I started letting her have the cookies and cakes then she started sneaking in the refrigerator and I caught her sticking her hand in the butter and eating it plain, then the mayo, and peanut butter she had learned how to disable the alarm on the refrigerator I'm so worried about her I don't know if she is still sneaking in the refrigerator but I do know she claims she is hungry all the time I wish there was a way I could get her to understand but how can I do that when I don't understand and I do the same thing well, I don't stick my hand in the butter ha but I do over eat, I thought I did not have a problem till now. I have tried and it is just to hard I try walking my feet hurt so bad I cant stand it I know some of it is the heal spur I am getting so stressed there are other things in my life and with it all it makes me crazy my mind don't work rite no more it has got to the point I am wondering if I am getting Alzheimer I just cant function I know I should go to the DR but I cant afford it when I wake up in the morning I cant hardly move my bones and muscles hurt so bad I am the biggest I have ever been I have known energy I cant even clean my house I am in pain all the time I don't want my daughter to go threw this I am so scared and afraid it is to late for me but how can I help my daughter? Well, that is were I am now.

Hello,

 

You didn't tell the age of your daughter. I think it is very important that you start to work on yourself. Did you buy Dr. Phil's weight book? Diets don't work, this method really does!!! I'll introduce myself a bit to you: I"m a 40-year old man from the Netherlands and recently became a certfied stresscounsellor (I tell you this to let you know that you can reach goals if you're committed to it). I'm wheelchair bound but I don't let that stop me from reaching my goals. Like you, I struggle with weight. I'm about 200 pounds.

A little while ago I started working with the Ultimate Weight Solution. I have room again in my clothes now, however I still have a long way to go. Maybe we can be each other's buddies in this. You know what Dr. Phil says: get real about fat or you get real fat. That's a great phrase that is absolutely true.

The Dr. Phil method is NOT about will power, so don't let that stop you from working on your weight. What is your reason for over-eating? Think strongly about that and let's talk about it.

 

Jo

 
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July 24, 2005, 3:27 am PDT

Diet

older and wiser I am looking for others in the same boat who want to be fit and lean but have age concerns. Are there any young at heart and mind who would like to join me on a journey to tighten up and lose the fat despite the obstacle of age? Join an 80 year old with a 40 year old mind.

I do like and need to have protein in my diet plus fruit but am concerned that the grain carbs cause me to gain and I realize the need for the B vitamins and minerals that I may be missing.

Would like to welcome all older folks with similar concerns to share information with me.

ready_able

P. S. Dr. Phil, you are very welcome too although I realize you may not understand the concerns and needs of an 80 year old. :)

Sorry, i'm just 40 year old, but i had to respond to your message. Why are you Americans so afraid of carbs? You need them! And they don't make you fat unless it's from unrefined sugars. (sorry didn't want to sound angry 'cause i'm not, but I just don't understand your fear of carbs) Did you try Dr. Phil's program? I'm very sure it works for elder people too.

 

Regards,

 

Jo

 

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