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Messages By: cmancuso717

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March 19, 2007, 3:29 pm CDT

wedding so bad it ruined family

My daughter got married in sep. 2006 It was a beautiful wedding til the end, my new husband we completly beat up, broken bones in face and all. There were 150 people at the wedding I asked my daughter not to have too much alcohol, she wanted to make her friends happy. Most of them in their early 20's. Although the younger ones were drunk, it was the older crew that had too much to drink all family, one my new husband and exhusband and the grooms father and my brother and his wife. All were fighting outside at the end my husband got it the worse major scaring. My daughter didn't talk to me for 5 months, I reached out to her serveral times, she blames my husband. He blames my brother the grooms father and so the list goes on. Pass the buck so to speak, I don't know for sure who started it yet my daughter takes it out on me. she and I don't feel our relationship as been the same since, I continue to reach out to her and give her the space she needs to grow up and mature and be a new wife to her new husband she is only 21 yrs old, a few weeks ago she came over here and telling me he hits her for wearing a shirt too short which she said he bought her. She said this has been going on for three months, my daughter was a great honor roll student let home at 18 for love and at 21 just a few months ago got married,,,,she was only 20 at the time. they live at his parents home actually his parents live with her (his mom) grandfathers home. I can understand the frustration and the pressure they put upon themselves so young. She wants to go to college I offer time and again to pay for it as I have always come through for her financially, but my new husband and I disguessed this issue too and now that she is married they have to be grown up and not ask me for favors of money anymore. Their isn't much I can do now for my daughter just pray God will guide her and protect her, she doesn't see how this whole thing effected me I have even become more depressed because of all this, and I noticed she is losing weight and it scares. He doesn't have much of a back bone and puts alot on her. I used to feel bad for him not anymore after the wedding and he got what he could out of me he talks to me terribly. I have discussed this with my daughter and she agrees he needs counseling with no ins. they go very seldom to a pastor at the church with they don't attend there just a friend who married them and I beg him to don't give up on them they are a young couple and it can go either way. I will continue to pray for her and their marriage it just feels so hopeless as a mother to sit back and watch. It is very painful. sincerely, me
 
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October 13, 2007, 8:02 am CDT

just a child

He is just a child it is obvious that this child needs help with maybe medicine and intense theapy. Pet theapy wouldn't hurt either so that he can be responcible to take care of something he loves and he should be able to pick out himself, and get unconditional love back.  We don't treat the diagnose we should treat the symtoms.  A battery of test should be run and look at the enviroment as well.  The child for the houses safty as well as his own should not just go right back into the home and maybe the family should all be apart of his theapy and go to the place he is at first. Some one on one with each member first then a family theapy sessions as well. He obviously has some deep seeded things going on.  When he does go home theapy should diffenitly continue in the home as well on a daily basis. Art theapy, pet theapy, and intense theapy.  He needs to feel normal and do things that other children do his own age and have hobbies and get involved in sports eventually.. The negative behavior can not be placed too much acknowlegment  on, and the positive behavior should be rewarded in some way. I will be praying for this child and the family and it wouldn't hurt to ask for prayer from the viewers. God can move mountains. God Bless  Sincerely, connie from NJ "There are no hopeless situations, only people who think hopelessly"
 
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October 13, 2007, 12:18 pm CDT

reply to tinderbell1213

Quote From: tinkerbell1213

Art therapy and intense therapy I'd think so...but NO way would I let this a child with rage issues have a pet, nor take care of a pet.  They have no empathy for one thing and to subject an innocent animal to this would be wrong. I would fear for the animal's safety and/or life.  These children, unfortunately need to get their own selves under control before they can be around ANY pets.

I didn't mean right away and maybe he could never handle that responcility, I do have much experience in this as some one dear to me went  through a simular situation,  the pet theapy came down the road under supervision. That is all I meant, No harm intended. God Bless,,we can all start praying for this child and family.
 

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