Hi everyone
About 5 months ago I finally ended my marriage. My husband moved out after 10 years of constant emotional abuse. I used to log on as Mandi_33 and posted here over a year ago. Well it was really hard at the start and I cried almost constantly even though I knew it was the best thing for myself and my children. I took it day by day, sometimes hour by hour and although I felt lonely and scared of the unknown future a lot I really did begin to enjoy the peace.
He started phoning me and dropping around . Usually to abuse me a bit more! Then he seemed to get depressed, he lost his job, had no money, nowhere to live and was talking of suicide. That sucked me straight back in and I ended up letting him stay with me. Even as I let this happen I knew it was a big mistake. I can't believe I was so stupid, I really do know better than that but I can't even explain why I felt the need to help him. He NEVER helped me and the kids when we needed it. He would come over and threaten to kill me and then he would cry and apologise and I would feel sorry for HIM!!
That started a couple of weeks ago and now he is back to the pig he always was. This morning I told him I couldn't do this anymore and I wanted him to leave again. He just nodded (he really doesn't care what I say to him). He has gone away for the weekend and I have asked him to not return until monday when I am at work and to collect his things then and leave.
I don't know what will happen when he returns. I just feel so stupid now, I got through the heartache of ending my marriage and now i'm going to have to go through it all again. What on earth made me be such a sucker???
Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this off my chest before I go to work.
