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Messages By: puzzled

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sad
October 13, 2005, 7:41 pm CDT

tragidy

 I feel for the both of these families. It has to be a horrific thing to lose your child, whether it be to prison or to death. I don't know whether Daniel was abusive or not, he still should not have died. I don't know if the accident was intentional or not, but I don't think that this young girl should have to spend 12 years in prison. All I know is that all of these people are going to live with this pain for a long time. It will take time to heal, but they need to start this process, holding on to this bitterness is just going to hinder them from living life to the best of their abilities. I pray for everyone that was involved, and I hope that they can somehow find peace. 

 
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October 15, 2005, 5:54 pm CDT

Gossip and Rumors

I have been the topic of many mean a vicious rumors. I know first hand how it can make a person feel  (rejected, unaccepted, and lonely.)  I eventually found out that the rumors stemmed from my boyfriend, not my ex-boyfriend, but my boyfriend (at the time.) That made it hurt all the more. He explained to me that the reason he started all of the nasty rumors because I wouldn't have sex with him ( I was still a virgin.) The rumors were not about be being a virgin, they were about me being a trap, a slut, a whore. Which really hurt, because they were not true by any means. I am looking forward to this show. I know how depressed a person can be because of cruel kids. I would like to see what Dr. Phil has to say. 

 
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October 17, 2005, 9:21 pm CDT

What is wrong with people today

I don't understand. Someone please explain this to me. Way are people so caught up in what celebs are doing. There are just people who caught a break and are having a streak of good luck. Some of these people are good at there job, others really suck. The main thing they have that many people do not is money.  I do try to emulate people, not obsess though. I don't necessarily want to be like any particular person. Especially not just because they are a star. I try to emulate people I know in really life. Someone I admire. For example I look and my fiance' and try to mimic his motivation for getting up at 5am and working (at his job, at home, with me, with our kids, making dinner and so one) and not stopping until 12 am. He is calm and collect and stays positive through out the day , everyday. I look at my mother and try to mimic her love, compassion, and sincerity. I try to mimic my friend Amber for being courageous and strong. I look at many different people who I know are real, real to themselves and real to those around them. When I look at stars like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen the first thing that comes to mind is they are actress, so when I hear them speak or see them on TV (even if it is on an interview) I think this is an act, a show, what there were going to say was prepared. So why do people want to imitate people they don't really know. I don't understand. Someone please explain.
 
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October 17, 2005, 9:34 pm CDT

RUINED

  All of the vicious rumor that followed my through high school ended up make my mother so furious that she pulled me out of that school and into another. The straw that broke the camels back is when I arrive at school one morning and was getting off of the bus, when I looked up I noticed my name and a bunch of  horrible things about me (none of which was true) spray painted in red and black paint all over the limestone building.  Some of the words were so high up the school had to call in reinforcements to clean off the front of the building. The culprits were never prosecuted but I knew who they were, and I eventually got them to confess. That was not good enough for my mother, she wanted me in a different school and she wanted me there asap. I know who mean kids can be to each other. I have gave serious thought to home schooling my children during there middle and high school years.
 
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October 17, 2005, 9:55 pm CDT

Do I have money concepts or what

 My husband and I argue about money all the time. He doesn't call it arguing he calls it "productive talk"  He wants me to get a job, I seriously have been looking. A lot of the time I think why should I or how could I. I am 24 years old I have a 8 year old son, a six year old daughter, a 5 year old daughter, two boston terrier pups, a kitten, and I am currently enrolled FULL-TIME in school. I am taking 15 credit hours, which takes a lot out of me. Not to mention my homework, I help my three kids with their homework. I am the house keeper, I am their taxi driver to all of their extra-curricular activities, I am the cook, and I am now looking for a job. The way I see it. If I get a job, the amount that I would make wouldn't even cover childcare cost for the my three kids. My fiance' gets up at 5am at the latest 6am (that is when he sleeps in) and then he goes to work, he doesn't return home until 7pm (which is the earliest that he gets home.) So I am basically doing this by myself. He expects me to get a job and keep up everything else I do. I don't think that I can manage. What do you guys think? HELP!!!
 
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hopeful
October 18, 2005, 1:47 pm CDT

I am right

I think that the man who has the dream to become a ultimate fighting champion, should go for it! If you don't reach for your dreams you will never be able to experience them. I understand his wife's concerns. Everything in life has potential danger. If this man does not go for his dream, he will end up resenting his wife. He will also wonder "what if."  

  

I think that the 30 year old virgin has made a decision that everyone has to make for themselves. I think that it is important to have absolute morals and values. I honestly wish that I could have waited myself. My plan was to wait, but things didn't necessarily go the way I planned.  

  

Annabelle 's grandmother is a quack. This young girl of 8 years old is fine! She is going to have major problems in the future if her grandmother and aunts do not stop this non-sense. I feel like this is a form of abuse for Jodi and Annabelle. This grandmother is pushing her daughter to do something she does not want to do. It is putting stress on their relationships, and will eventually throw Annabelle into the mix where her relationship with them will be affected 

  

I have an aunt who was not fat at all as a child (in my opinion.) My grandmother, her mother, was constantly telling her she was a "cow", "fat", "beached whale" and so on. This all started when she was 5 years old.  Now my aunt is in her early thirties and she is very over weight. She tries every kind of diet and exercise programs, and she still can't lose the weight. It stresses her out. She now has panic attacks, she has had two nervous breakdowns, and she has a very low self-esteem. Her self-concept is almost non-existent. She is obsessed with her appearance.  

  

This grandmother is hurting her grandchild, not helping. She is hurting her daughter as well. In my opinion if Jodi feels that her daughter does need to lose some weight she should set an example herself!  Jodi looks like she could use some toning up, so maybe she could take her daughter out on a regular basis that they could get some exercise outside TOGETHER (playing sports or something.) This would start a healthy routine, some needed exercises, and would bring the two of them together. Maybe the grandmother could join in as well.  

  

 
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happy
October 18, 2005, 2:22 pm CDT

Princessal "Don't Worry"

Quote From: princessal

I agree with Dr. Phil that he is totally right, and although I am younger I am in a similar situation.  I do find it odd that he would have a name in his mind.  I'm only 23 but people around me are always getting married and wondering why I'm not. And I've never had a serious boy friend.  I have gone on some dates, but seriously I could write a book on the losers I've dated. I know that I have time, but it does get discouraging.  I do feel that God is in control of the situation.  Of mine and his.   

  

Hey BTW I have dark blond hair and blue eyes, but my name is not Sarah.  Sorry, guess I don't fit the bill. 

      I read your message and thought, "you don't need to worry." Things are in His control. I have a true story for you.  

     Growing up my best friend (Anna) and I did everything together.  I got Anna and her mother (Lisa) going to my church. They absolutely loved it and went every service after the day I brought them. About a year later Lisa's husband died in a horrible accident, when Anna was 9 years old. Everyone was devastated. He had never accepted Jesus, he thought that he didn't even exist. Lisa prayed every moment of everyday that God would help her and her family and bless them. A couple years later she prayed that God would send her someone, if that was his plan for her. She stayed faithful. She did go on some dates but nothing serious. When she would get discouraged she would pray that God would help her to be strong. To make a long story short. Lisa went on about her life. Anna started college and got married. Lisa did meet the man of her dreams ( who is very active in the church, he is a family man, he makes great money, and he loves is wife and step-daughter (Anna) with all of his heart. He does everything for them, they do everything together. I have never seen such a happy family. What is wild is that Lisa was told after she had Anna that she would not be able to have children again. Anna grew up as an only child, I think that is why we were so close. We were like sisters. The man that she married had a medical problem were he could not have kids either. They discussed adopting because they wanted a child together so badly. Lisa prayed that God help her to know what to do. A few weeks later Lisa found out that she was pregnant with a little boy. It was a miracle!  

  

God will send you "Mr. Right" Just be patient. You will be blessed tremendously. 

      

 
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sad
October 18, 2005, 2:28 pm CDT

Twisted society

  

Our society's way of thinking is so screwed up. How can a grandmother say these things about her own grand daughter. Annabelle doesn't need to lose weight, she needs to tone up. Why is society so focused on the "perfect body." This view is what causes eating disorders. Why is our society this way. If we want this problem to be fixed, we need to change our perspective on things.  

 
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happy
October 20, 2005, 1:17 pm CDT

Thank You

Quote From: werforpsu

You know, i glanced at all the messages here and all i can say is I AM SO GLAD I AM OUT OF SCHOOL!!!  i have plenty of stories of my own as i was called a whore, slut etc. BUT....now i am an adult, and i have realized that not only are those people childish and insecure but i am a better person because of the trouble i had. 

  

i still have very low self esteem, and always believe that people do not like me.  i convinced myself on several occasions after arguments that my husband was going to leave me...NOT TRUE.  the hardest part is loving yourself and realizing that there are people out there that love you too. 

  

if you are a victim---hang in there, i know it is hard BUT you will make it...and you can LAUGH at them at your reunion in 10 years...because eventually their hurtful befavior will catch up to them. 

  

if you are a bully---PLEASE STOP!!! that is all i can say 

I am so glad that you said "the hardest part is loving yourself and realizing that there are people out there that love you too."  

I have a very hard time excepting the fact that my fiance' clams to love me unconditionally. I feel like that once I do something wrong or say the wrong thing he will reject me (like kids did in high school.) I started believing the things that kids said to me at school. I have tried so hard to overcome this feeling of rejection. I think that I have came along way. I am still struggling with my self esteem and self-concept. I am thankful that you said that. I felt like I was all by myself with this feeling that my fiance'  will eventually walk out on me. 

 
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October 24, 2005, 1:01 pm CDT

you are right

Quote From: green35

In my opinion, allowing people (even yourself) to call you names that are negative damages your unconscious self-view.  For example, perhaps you are blond and call yourself a 'dumb blonde' whenever you make a silly mistake.  You may be joking but your subconscious hears all and that can be written in your brain as a truth.   Also, even if someone appears not to mind the name, it might actually bother them deep down.  And I think in your case, when you call him fat, that must bring to your mind that YOU are overweight and sort of puts you down, no?  Why couldn't you be just as happy calling him something that has more of a positive connotation?  The world is a critical enough place as it is without having the people you love put you down, even in fun.
It really confuses me to think that people think that it is "funny" to call each other names. I agree with you that it is damaging, whether it be to the sub conscious or not. It is definitely not right to say in front of children. These people are crazy.
 

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