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Messages By: mystyrayne

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October 6, 2005, 3:16 pm CDT

10/06 "Stand Up for Yourself!"

Quote From: rosey47

i am in an unhappy marriage. we sleep in separate rooms. i cannot afford to leave. what is a person to do?? i need financial help bad and dont know where to turn. please someone help me.

Where there's a will there's a way.  As Dr. Phil says, no one stays in a bad situation w/o getting somethig out of it.    

  

You said you were in an "unhappy marraige" you didnt' say whether it was abusive or not.   If it is just "unhappy", who isn't happy? You?  Your Hubby?  You need to get to counseling ASAP.  (I love quoting Dr. Phil.....)  You have to earn your way out of a relationship, you just don't get to leave because there is something you don't like about it.   Communication is the #1 key.  Talk w/ your hubby and tell him how you feel. Tell  him WHY you feel trapped.   Get Dr. PHil's book "Relationship Rescue" and read it front to back a few times.   Ask your hubby to go to counseling.  If he won't go, go yourself.   It certainly can't hurt.   

  

I am sort of in the same situation as you.  I am financially strapped and cannot live on my own. (I have a 3 yo)  I do not drive. Even if I did, I wouldn't be able to afford a car and insurance (and now, gas).  Not to mention child care.   (I live on Long Island) I am in a dead end relationship,  and plan on leaving someday, it's just a matter of getting a car and lisence and getting a better job somehow, somewhere.  I have come to peace w/ myself that he will never change, and I am happy w/ myself knowing I am not trapped, and I won't be here forever. I envision the day it's just my son and myself against the world. (Granted, it was supposed to be hubby, son and I,but that dream is gone now)  I have myself, my son, my health and my abilities to know what I know.   I will survive!!   

  

If you want to talk more, please email me thru my profile.     

  

{{{HUGS}}} to you! 

  

--Mysty Rayne 

 
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June 21, 2006, 8:25 pm CDT

06/21 "Throw It Out!"

I know someone who is might be a hoarder.  Her house is a rundown shack, broken windows, blankets and sheets stuffed in the windows, sheets for curtains, windows are filthy.  yard is overgrown, toys all over.  Inside is filthy.  Not just dirty.  FILTHY.  bags of garbage not taken out, dirty dishes EVERYWHERE. Including food left on dishes.   She is the sister of my best friend.  Best friend tells me, "You dont' know my sister, she's just lazy"   I'm sorry, but as lazy as my boyfriend is,  even HE isnt' that far gone. This woman is obviously mentally incapable of keeping the house clean and not throwing anything out.    I beleive she suffers very bad from depression, but my Best friend still thinks she is just lazy.  If that's lazy, I'd hate to see what depression looks like.   She's got 2 kids, they're 15 and maybe 12 or 11.  (boy and girl respectively)   I feel for them.  They must not ever bring anyone over their house.  :(  I bet they both move out when they turn 18, just like everyone else in the rest of the family did in generations before.  (some even 17 and 16, just to get away from the horrible family conditions...my Best friend included)
 
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July 1, 2006, 7:28 pm CDT

07/06 Baby Wars

[quote] He, his attorney, and the director of the National Center for Men discuss the lawsuit they filed, known as "Roe v. Wade for Men," arguing that men should have a constitutional right to avoid fatherhood.[/quote]  

  

If men should have a constitutinal right to avoid fatherhood, then women should have a constitutional right to avoid motherhood.   But last I heard that was abandonment.     

  

A woman cannot give up a child w/o consent of the father, (am I wrong on this?) so why should a father be allowed to do it w/o consent of the mother?   Why can't he just sign away all rights to the child?   

  

The idiot should have been using protection if he didn't want kids.  Selfish b@stard.    

  

I had a BF who wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME.   NO IF'S ANDS OR BUTTS.  I was on BC and I know my body very well. I even abstained from days 11 to 17 EVEN ON BC. and he STILL WORE PROTECTION.   He didn't want kids, and made sure of it.    

 
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September 17, 2007, 8:00 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

I am 37 and I like this kid I used to work with, he's 16 yrs younger than myself.   Why do I like him?   A few reasons... I'm not happy in my relationship of 10 yrs.  (Not married, one 5yr old boy)   I think that is the main reason.  That's why I'm looking "elsewhere", and I"m mature enough to know that is NOT right.   The kid has a girlfriend for at least 5 or 6 yrs. (Since he was 15 or 16).   It would ALSO be wrong to do anything to break them up.  I've been cheated on before, and do not plan on putting someone else thru the same thing.  I have thought of what it would be like to be w/ someone 16 yrs younger.  They'd be young and impressionable, so it wouldn't be all that hard to "sweet talk" them.  Not to mention the hormone factor of a 21 yr old male!   However, there's more pros than cons...   how fair would it be to him?  He is just starting out life, and I've lived it 16 yrs longer than him. Everything he might want to do, I've done already. He might want kids,  I might be done having kids. (but that's still not a closed option)  Would I just end up being  a mother figure to him?  How fair would that be?  I would not be an "equal".    I might be inhibititing him in someway, something that wouldn't happen if he were with someone his own age.    I almost think of him as the "one that got away".....  He has gone off to Police Academy in another state and there's still a part of me that believes him and his girlfriend might break up because of the long distance part and one day me and him IS a possiblity, but would it still be fair????   He's smart, responsible, funny, honest, shy, outgoing, and even has an attitude when he gets mad.  He's almost everything I've always wanted in a guy, but his age.  (And I'm no Julia Roberts, :( )  So, I continue to have my daydreams (and nightdreams!!!!!) and maybe one day ................................................
 
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January 7, 2009, 6:27 pm CST

Has anyone thought....

That his amnesia altered his personality, demeanor AND accent as well?    Amnesia just doesn't affect memory, it affects plenty other areas of the brain.   Ok, well, maybe not just amnesia, but has this man had brain scans to see which part of the brain are damaged? (f that's possible).   I read a woman was working with him to try to figure out what part of the country he came from.   His accent may have totally changed, and maybe that's why he thinks he's from Indiana.   

And what about figerprints and footprints.   Dont' they take footprints when your born?   If he thinks he was born in Indiana , then try hospitals there to see if the footprints match up. 

I would not put this past our government to do something like this.   That's pretty sad isn't it?   :-(
 

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