Messages By: madaboutu

When the show first aired there were posts that addressed the families but those posts seem to be put aside with all the finger pointing. 

I think the main point of Dr. Phil's show was to address the pain that both families have, the healing that they both need, and the children that are left behind.   

There was a reason that Brandi's brother and Daniel's brother were highlighted.  One would imagine that in taping for television much ends up on the cutting room floor.  These boys images and their words were not left there.   

Brandi's brother is having trouble trusting authority.  His grades are suffering.  The image presented was one of someone who has withdrawn from life, from joy, from youth.  He has most likely suffered in silence as the attention was shifted to Brandi and the case for well over a year.  The focus and bulk of attention seems to still be on Brandi's plight.   

Daniel's brother David said that he asked his mother, "Why do you always cry when you hug me?"  And she told him she 'sees Daniel'.  Well ... the first thing she needs to see is that David is alive, front and center, that she needs to SEE David.  He was and is hurting.  He was crying out for help from someone during those years from the death to the plea bargain and it appears that his cry for help went unheeded.  The mom may be mourning the time lost that she never spent with Daniel and the time lost that she never will.  But the opportunity has presented itself for her to be present in her son's life now and she needs to seize that opportunity to love him for who he is and be with him for who he is.  Who would want to be looked upon all the time as the object of the loss?  She needs to put some of her energy that is so focused on revenge (quote from the show that she wanted revenge) and pour that energy into loving the son that is here. 

Becoming a Christian isn't about being good enough or doing something in order to earn our way.  Salvation is a gift from God ... not man ... so that no one may boast.  Jesus said that He is the only way to salvation .. the only way to God ... there is only one way and that is through him.  And He is at the right hand of God interceding for us.  So we pray for the faith to believe in Him and His promises.  We admit that we are lost without Him.  We accept the grace and mercy that He gives and fills us with.  The Holy Spirit then resides within us ... guiding us, counseling us, comforting us.  There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.  But one has to accept that He is the only way.   

Once we are His ... we have to allow Him to so fill our lives that others see Christ in us.  We have to war against the sinful nature that is within us.  That doesn't just disappear because we've accepted Him.  He brings transformation ... but we have to be willing to be transformed.  We have to seek Him and find Him why He may be found.  We have to submit to His will and trust Him with our future.  Jesus did not condemn the woman at the well who was described as having had several husbands and the man she was living with at that point was not her husband.  But what he did say was, 'Go and sin no more.'  Huge.  Huge.  We could not possibly do that on our own.  We are human, fallible creations who will fall and stumble and slip.  But we do not have to embrace sin so that his grace can be shown.  The apostle Paul states this in one of his letters to the church ... 'Should I sin so that grace may abound?  No!'  And so daily we are faced with all sorts of circumstances and relationships that require us to make choices - choices between sinning and not sinning.   

I encourage you to turn to the Word of God and let it fill you up.  Find a reliable translation.  The NIV is one that is tested and proved reliable.  There are many others out there though that are probably an easier read for devotional.  I use a living translation and some use the Message.  I encourage you to find a bible teaching church ... one that relies on the Bible as the authoritative word and that preaches that Word from the pulpit.  The salvation message should be front and center.  And if those parts are there in that church then the congregation will be loving people who will  embrace you for who you are in Christ now.  But that congregation should also have accountability.  We as the body of Christ are accountable to one another.  We are instructed to love one another, pray for one another, and hold one another accountable ... even to the point of pointing out to a brother/sister when they are falling.  Participation in the body means be willing to love someone enough to give and accept this kind of accountability.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  Lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.  The word of God is foolishness to those who do not believe in Him.  And it is wisdom to those who have been saved.  Read Psalm 139 daily so that you will know how much he cares for you.  He knew you before you were ever born.  He holds you in the palm of His hand. 

I will be praying for you as you are beginning your walk with Him. 

I won't debate the scholarship you have cited because you have already decided that the scholarly works that you have read and support your position are the ones that you will follow.   

There are scholars that will tell you that Mary wasn't a virgin.  That  Mary was a virgin.  That Jesus was not the son of God.  That Jesus was the son of God.  That Jesus never really died.  That he died and was resurrected.  That we are bound by the old testament law.  That we are not bound by the old testament law.  That the bible is literal.  That the bible is not literal.  That the Jewish people are God's chosen people.  That the Jewish people are not God's chosen people.  And so on and so on.  And these scholars will all go back to the original Hebrew and Greek manuscripts to support the position they have taken.  They will use scripture and history and whatever other sources they want to prove their point. 

Then there are those, biblical scholars and not, who have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour, who have accepted His Lordship over their lives, who seek to be His - to be transformed by the renewing of their hearts and minds.   Who know that the wisdom of man is foolishness in regard to faith in Christ and the wisdom of the Lord is foolishness to the unbeliever.  They will immerse themselves in God's word and pray and seek a biblically grounded, Christ- centered fellowship of believers who preach Christ crucified and resurrected ... and believe in the faith that only comes from God .. to change them from the inside out.  They are not using scripture and texts and historical documents and whatnot to prove a point ... they are allowing the Word of God to be the bread of life, to sharply hone them into what God desires for them to be.     

The Word of God for one who professes Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour should never be taken out of context ... to prove a point.   Either way.  It is the living word of God.  And that Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  It needs no other arguement.  It needs no other proof.   

You are certainly an educated man.   

Oh, btw, if you or anyone can tell me how to quote a portion rather than the entire quote, please advise. 

Thanks. 

Just want to point out that the lawyer did not bail on her.  According to several newspaper accounts of the story, one of her first attorneys was appointed as a county prosecutor during the time between when she was charged and when the trial was supposed to take place (hit Daniel the day before Thanksgiving 2000, charged December 2001, one trial date was for September 17 and it was before this date that the appointment took place.  When an attorney accepts a position in the prosecutor's office it really is possible that he would no longer be able to remain objective and give the best possible defense. He defintiely would have a conflict of interest.  In this instance, he took the appointment and ceased to be her lawyer.  I would imagine that he probably stepped down from quite a number of cases.   

So her lawyer did not bail on her ....  

The circumstances of his withdrawal from the case however would have made it harder for this young lady to have continuity in her defense - even though she did still have one of her original lawyers. 

(Brandi's) "attorney, Jeff Burnham, said that his co-counsel, Steve Taylor, withdrew from the case after being appointed as an assistant prosecutor by Clay County Prosecutor Don Norris.  "Because of that he has a conflict, so Bill Shull and myself are going to be handling the case,' Burnham said. "He got in kind of late, but he also had a murder trial starting (September 17).  We don't think the state has all their documents either, so it was an agreed on continuance.  (Sun-News of the Northland, July 2001) archives   

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=2405821&BRD=1452&PAG=461&dept_id=155076&rfi=8 

This article is from September -- not July. 

There are a number of articles.  Sorry folks. 

The reality is that as much as some of us like to play amateur detective ... (myself included, somtimes) ... the reality is that we do not know what really happened.  We have a lot of supposition and conjecture floating around on this board.   

For instance, based on news accounts, Stepanie was 20 years old at the time.  Just another fact in cyberspace that is available.   So you don't have two teenage girls fighting at the time .... as has been assumed on this board. 

And we do not have any indication that anyone was cheating on anyone else.   Oh, I know that some on this board have put one and one together and added that up to cheating .. but you could be adding wrong.  There are many times when people reenter each others' lives.   

And just because a grandparent is not involved with a grandchild does not mean that the child is not biologically his or hers.  My brother and father were estranged for years.  Were my brothers' children still grandchildren all those years?  Absolutely.  Was there any relationship developed over all those years?  None whatsoever.  So if my brother passed away ... it would not be a given that my father would reenter those children's lives.  Now if you knew my dad during all those years he would still tell you he had X number of children and x number of grandchildren (always including my brother and his children in the number).  He could even give details about the family from things he gathered when we were together.  People living in the city where my Dad lived probably assumed that he had a good relationship with all his children and grandchildren.  They probably, and some did, put two and two together and got four ... but in our family's instance .. they were WRONG!  There was a time in our lives when my brother and his wife were the second guardians in line if anything happened to my husband and me.  And then when the estrangement occurred we changed the will.  Not because I didn't love my brother.  Not because I didn't think he and his wife would be good parents.  But because I wanted my children to know their grandparents - all of them - and I knew that wouldn't happen as long as the estrangement existed.  Things just aren't always as they seem.   

And demanding that any of the players answer all of our questions is really just that - a demand.  They don't owe us explanations.  They don't owe us answers 

There is someone on another topic demanding that people answer his/her post ... answer all his/her questions.  This poster has deduced that the nonresponse to his/her questions means that no one can answer his/her questions or that anyone else's opinions could stand up to the test of his questions.  It is almost funny to watch as he posts and reposts the same questions - daring people to respond.  But it is sad too. 

So as much as we would like to solve this 'mystery' ... we all know that rarely do things get tied up in neat little packages like on CSI, Law & Order, etc.  Real life is huge.  

 "And, since you cant ever fully understand what it means to be gay and live that lifestyle, you cannot come on a forum and have an opinion...your opinions are baseless. " 

It is always a little scary to me that in this day and age someone will tell you that you cannot have an opinion.  I was going to say, 'that in this day and age here in America someone will tell you, that you cannot have an opinion ' but then I read that you are a Canadian.  (No offense to Canadians - my grandmother was born in Canada.)  We here in the good old USA have the right of free speech.  That right does not extend to yelling 'fire' in a crowded theater or slandering someone ... but it certainly extends to the posters on this board being able to express an opinion about what is discussed and brought up on this board. 

You can always do this:  ... don't like a post, skip it ... think it's baseless,don't respond.  You can even be the opinion police and deem what opinions you deem worthy, suppotive, what have you.  I may not like what you or someone else has to say .. but I'll defend your right to say it.   

I am  more concerned about the idea that someone would want to squelch opinions about sexuality, christianity, experimentation, etc. than I would be about the people who express opinions on this board from all walks of life. 

http://www.circuit7.net/pages/home.asp 

Why are we?  I went to this site and went through the archives and searched by name (which is an education in and of itself) and found the court case #CR101-000140.  Perhaps it's my computer but I found getting that far rather exhaustive (and yet I persevered - go figure?)    

After finding the court number I was able to enter the number in a place where there was an option to search by case number and then a screen popped up with information about the case.  We have highspeed internet and this form remained blank for a lonnnnnnng time before the information finally popped up.  There are entries (not exhaustive detail) about just about everything -- probable cause warrants issued, request for discovery, arraignment, advisement of right to counsel and, plea, continuances, motions for reduction in bond, bond posted, waiving preliminary hearing, entry of second attorney, further arraignments, waivers, motion for discovery, depositions for Greg Arnold and Crystal Mize, reduction of bond, withdrawal of first attorney,entry of third attorney, trial date set, plea to lesser offense, sentencing hearing set, sentence pronouncement, motion to reduce sentence, etc.   

Very interesting what is in the public domain at the click of a mouse --- well several mouse clicks, that is.  

I don't know who he is.  

 I don't know why Steph's deposition isn't listed, but I believe that she gave one. 

It is quite interesting and moreover saddening once you are able to search by name to see the records involved with each family involved.   

You can see civil cases going back and criminal matters -- and the more I read, the more my heart goes out ... to children who had to grow up way too fast in circumstances that were far from what they needed.  The spillover from this is evident in the civil cases cited with some of the individuals present on the Dr. Phil show and criminal also.   

It just goes to show that the Dr. Phil show only scratched the surface with what was revealed concerning the past.   

I am not trying to say that any of this would take away from the responsibility that Brandi holds for her actions that night.  I am just pointing out what I suspected when you search and dig deeper .... that life is HUGE and a one hour Dr. Phil show just didn't give anyone enough information to decide this case make totally informed decisions about some of the other parties involved.   

It was - what it was.  I will be praying for all of these people.  They hurts that need healing started long before that fall night.