Messages By: jaklyn1055

 I agree!  Derek obviously didn't trust Stacy if he kept asking if she was using bc, admits that their relationship was rocky. Why was he having sex with her? Dr. Phil seemed to place no responsibility on Derek's part. If your 100% sure you're not ready to deal with a pregnancy, then don't have sex with her. It's the only 100% sure way not to get her pregnant with your baby. What Stacy did was very wrong, but Derek needs to "own up to his responsibility" in this situation. I thought Dr. Phil came across a little sexist on this show- he was a little soft on Steve but he grilled Stacy and made statements to Derek such as "Aren't you outraged?!"  He should have asked him "Why were you sleeping with her if the relationship was rocky?"  He made a choice- he had sex with her, she got pregnant. Kudo's to him for trying to do the right thing, but he needs to continue to do the right thing and stop feeling sorry for himself and step up to the plate and put the child first, which is to have a dad around at home. The past was deplorable, but can't be changed. As Dr. Phil says "This relationship needs a hero."  You had sex, you have a son (regardless of the deception). Grow up and stop wallowing in pity.

I have the same feelings as you. I live in Oklahoma, where Robin's sister lives and I feel so superficial when I think of her. She was very disfigured by having acid thrown on her face while driving under an overpass. Dr Phil has had her on her program and she was very inspirational. But then I feel like a failure and so shallow because I can't apply that to myself.

It is such a relief, in a way, to know that there are others like me. I never was completely happy with my looks but I was considered atractive when I was younger- cheerful, girl-next-door looks. Seven years ago when we lost our farm and home we stopped being able to afford medical and dental care. I've lost my front teeth, my dimples disappeared and now there's a permanent frown no matter how hard I try. I'm about your age- 52.  I have an absolute phobia about looking at myself in the mirror. I haven't been to the hairdresser for the past 7 years because it would require me to sit and look at myself in the mirror, besides not being able to afford it. I almost never go out of my house anymore. I've stopped going to church because I'm too ashamed of how I look, even though I know God doesn't care. Are you like me- you've wanted to write Dr Phil but on the rare chance you might get picked, you know that there's not any way that you could appear on national TV. How horrible it would be to watch the videos of yourself! It makes me feel so shallow and superficial. I too am overweight about 50 pounds and I have the opposite problem of you- I get so hot when I exercise that I feel like I can't breathe. My eyelids droop so low now that I can hardly see and to me it looks like I have little pig eyes in a fat face. My intimacy with my husband really suffers- not because of him- he tries to tell me I'm beautiful to him- but then I imagine what my face looks like when we're making love and it makes me physically ill where I will have to vomit.

I look at old pictures of myself and wonder where I went. Do you feel like you just exist anymore and that's it? That's how I feel- I don't really have a death wish but I do feel like I'm slowly ceasing to exist and just waiting to die. I checked out Dr Phil's book "Self Matters" from the library and I think that it could help but for some reason I'm having a hard time getting through it. I really hope this program give us some concrete ways to help ourselves.

I can be your friend online if you like. Maybe we can all form a support group and learn to help ourselves. I am lucky that I have a very supportive and loving family but I don't really tell any of them how bad I feel and how much I hate my looks. I'm very close to my two grown daughters and I know they are getting worried about me because I never leave home anymore- I just tell them I'm a homebody. My daughters are very beautiful- I feel like the old brood mare that the breeder states "This old mare isn't much to look at but her offspring are very nice."  I am sick of my self-pity- another thing that  makes me dislike myself.

I am thinking and praying for you- really everybody on this board.

 I'm interested in the girl who is a picky eater and wants to eat normal. Dr Phil has had anorexic females on but never an anorexic male. My son is anorexic, not because of negative body image, but because he just can't eat and doesn't know why. He's been this way since he was about 5 and is now 17. He desparately wants to eat like a normal male. He has a very very limited list of foods that he will eat and is very skinny and hates it. I worked with my Dr when he was young and it seemed like none of the usual behavior techniques would work. My Dr finally told me to stop worrying about it because he ate cheese, cottage cheese, apples, brocolli and bread and he said that was a healthy diet and thought he would grow out of it. He hasn't. I took him to a therapist for a few months when he was 10 and the therapist said he had severe anxiety and stress that manifested in an eating disorder. He has been through a lot of trauma in his life. My husband was a farmer and because of the drought we lost our farm and home. Before that he farmed with his brother who was a rageaholic and my son witnessed some very ugly treatment to his dad from his uncle and other family members. The family disowned us. His dad was a suicide threat for two years, and as much as I tried to protect him, I know he picked up on my fear and anxiety. We've been fairly poor since then and have had trouble putting our lives back together after the loss, so it makes sense that his eating disorder is stress-related.

His biggest problem is eating meat. He's such a good kid and never complains but he's so embarassed by his "problem"  that he fears things like our church potlucks because someone always says something about how little he eats. Occasionally he does get very hungry like a normal 17-year -old and will eat a whole pizza (he does love pizza) but that's not very often. Over the years we've been able to add chicken (certain kinds) bacon and eggs but it's very rare that he's hungry enough to eat it. He's so embarassed to be like this and hates it. One time at a youth camp his girlfriend was able to get him to eat a hamburger (she's very understanding)  and that was a huge thing for him and he called me so excited. He hasn't been able to since and doesn't know why.

I really hope I get some answers from Dr Phil on this because no doctor has been able to help him. Uh oh he just came in and saw this message and says that he is very embarassed but gave me his okay to send this