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Messages By: manofgoods

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February 27, 2006, 8:36 am CST

This is to Kim.

Hey, if you've been reading these message boards, you should really, really think about this before you walk down the aisle with him. I most certainly have to agree with the rest of the users here that your life will be miserable if you marry this man, because of his Mother. She won't change, ever! She will always try to continue to manipulate & brainwash your fiance that you're not good enough for him. You should definitely leave him. But, if you DO decide to marry him, at least you & Steve move very, very far away from Pat. Because if you don't, your relationship with him will be in grave danger, especially when you two have children! So, please, definitely think this through. Let us know how it goes!
 
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February 27, 2006, 1:04 pm CST

I have something to say.

I'm a 23 year-old man, and I know what it's like to be lied to. When I was back in high school, I had a friend that I known in the neighborhood for 5-6 years. But then came a time for that. I've never, ever had a real relationship before, but this is kind of different. When the time came for my senior prom, I asked her out. Her response was, "No, I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend." Come to find out later, she didn't really have a boyfriend at all! Then before you know it, I found out that she had taken someone else out to the prom! Can you believe that? I was broken hearted when I found that out. But luckily, my mother knew a friend who would take me out. I then had a pretty good time. But I still managed to keep in touch with my friend now, and she now has about 3 kids. I have none, but at least I'm waiting for the right person to commit a relationship to(I'm waiting to get married before having kids). Hopefully, you can see it from my experience. No matter how many times people managed to hurt you, you must learn to forgive.
 
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February 27, 2006, 2:31 pm CST

Oh, I can see it now.

This is just like last Wednesday's episode of  "Wedding Wars" with Pat, Steve, & Kim, but much, much worse. She has already created chaos between her Daughter-In-Law & her son by telling lies, and spreading false rumors. Those two should move far, far away from her. Why must mother-in-laws always interfere in their sons marriages, and trying to split them up? This is crazy! Don't you guys have anything better to do with your lives?!? At least my mother isn't like this, and she lives in Jacksonville, Florida, while I'm living in Norfolk, Virginia, and she'll accept any woman that really loves me and cares about me. Kim & Steve, if you're reading this, I hope you taking notes, because Pat could be the same way as this woman. Be careful, guys.
 
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February 27, 2006, 3:50 pm CST

Tracy, why? LEAVE HIM NOW!

Wow. I can say that today's show seemed to cause quite an uproar on this message board about this. I do also have to say, Tracy, you need to leave him. As long as you're continuing putting up with this, he'll continue to do it. May I ask, why? Why do you continue to put up with it? Is it because that you'll never get another man like him if you leave him now? Is it because of your low self esteem? That you can't learn to stand up for yourself to him? You're smarter than this. You deserve a whole lot better. He'll never change, period. I know that I'll never be like him, because I'm a good person, a good man.
 
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February 28, 2006, 9:46 am CST

What?

Quote From: gradmabear

No, you don't break family ties completely lady.  That will come back and bite you in the hinder some day.  You may be controlling your hubby and kids now and be all happy, but some day your husband will want to see his mother again.  You go to counseling and you try to work it out with your mother-in-law.  Friends can say they don't want to see each other, but you are FAMILY.  That is the difference.  What will you say when your kids eventually meet their grandmother and get mad at you for keeping her from them all these years.  Your life will not be happier than ever long.  Mark my words!  I'm an old lady who has seen this many times. 

  

The fact that your husband has been "outcast by other family members" speaks volumes in this.  Could you just maybe be feeling a little threated by the love his mom has for him?  Maybe you just had a rocky start and need to work through it with a counselor.  You don't see any need right now, because YOU feel happy.  What about your family?  You owe it to them to try.  I hope you do. 

I don't see how she's controlling them. What would happen if you've been in a relationship, and your mother-in-law(your husband's mother) is coming between you & your husband, messing everything up? What would you or your husband do? Let everything slide? I think not. If that's what it takes to break all ties with your relatives in order to keep your relationship strong, so be it. He's a grown man & can make his own decisions. Many men will stand up to their mothers because they're controlling their marriages. I'm a Man myself, and I know what it's like. I think that you're in denial here.
 
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February 28, 2006, 4:33 pm CST

I definitely agree with you!

Quote From: corajane

Hello! 

  

Why are you "allowing" this to happen to you?  And, don't tell Kim to think long & hard.  She has already spent 5 years with her guy.  The guy's mother, however, had quite a few characteristics in common (that I saw on TV) with the mother-in-law on today's (2/28) show. 

  

From my observation, "something" is going on between mother & son, although it may not  immediately translate into something that can be described by either for many years.  "Mama's boy" is very common, it seems.  And, the poor guys don't know it until something hits the fan.  Kim kept touching her guy, while his mother mouthed things against Kim, like "not a Christian" (whatever)  & really denegrated her.  Mom does not want her 33 year-old son to marry this gal.  Or, for that matter, ANY gal!  Mom will use religion, race, "suitability", attitude -- whatever will put down the Other Woman in her son's life. I can only pray that Sonny sees this for what it is -- obsession -- & will do what he can to protect the woman he loves (hopefully, you). 

  

When I was in my early 20's, I was engaged to a guy who was going through college (2 years' difference in age), & his mother did NOT like me, although she acted pleased to see me when we visited, etc.  You get the picture.  However, when Sonny Boy was home & he called me to see how I was, etc., she would find an excuse to come into the room he was in & interrupt & start to tell him something, completely butting into our conversation & she'd insist that Sonny come with her because she had to show him something.  For awhile, I tolerated it that he would put down the phone, at his mother's wishes, & go off to see what she wanted (hoping it would be short), but after 5-6 times I waited for him to pick up the phone again AFTER A 1/2 HOUR!!!!!, I knew what was going on.  So, I started to give him 10 minutes, & then I would hang up.  Wouldn't you?  But when he called me back, FURIOUS  that I HAD HUNG UP ON HIM!!!!!, I would tell him the amount of time I spent waiting for him to pick up the phone again, & I said I was not waiting any more than 10 minutes from here on in.  Mumsy was winning this.  Hands down. 

  

I didn't marry him.  Thank God!!! 

  

By the way, all the other mothers of my respective boyfriends thought I was just peachy keen, even if marriage maybe was in the offing, & with some mothers, we even stayed in contact after "boyfriend du jour" & I parted company.  Imagine going over to your ex-boyfriend's parents for a Friday dinner every so often & his Mom would make my favorate dish?!!!  And this would be months after we broke up!  I think because when Sonny was going out with me, I got along so well with his family that we would go over to Mom's for Sunday Dinner every couple of weeks & she would see her son more than usual -- because of me!   This was true of all my other boyfriends after the Toxic/Jealous Mother I had to endure for a couple of years.  Ladies, if you're not getting along with your mother-in-law (either new or of a couple of years' standing), something needs to be changed.  And, your guy has to be made aware of the problem & he DOES have to step up to the plate to talk to his mother (NOT your job!) to sort things out.  And, yes, "pretending" does go on -- if Mom is a schemer, she'll befriend you to learn your weaknesses.  You have to figure it out.  

  

I didn't like either mother on the show.  I've had experience with lying mothers & people who "twisted" things to their advantage & who played the martyr card.  Be careful.  Just get away from them.  Period. 

  

Regards to all, 

  

J     

I couldn't have said it better myself. I've never been in a real relationship before, but I can quite understand. Thank goodness my Mother isn't like Pat! Kim really cares about Steve, but Pat will do everything she can to sabotage their relationship. And about the christian issue, regardless if Kim is Christian or not,  how can Pat call herself a Christian if she's putting down Kim? Real Christians are supposed to bring others them up, not bring them down. I most certainly agree with kim when she said to Pat, "The way you're behaving now, that's not Christian behavior". I hope that Steve will wake up & realize that Pat is controlling him. Otherwise, him & Kim's marriage will not last very long as long as she's in the picture. If they DO get married, they should move very, very far away. Let's hope that you're on Kim's side as well. I'm definitely on her side, and I hope their relationship survives. Mother In Law's obviously don't want their sons to have their own lives or to start their own family. They need to wake up & realize that they're not little kids anymore! Let them be happy! If you really care about them, then you need to accept their choices on who they're dating!
 
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March 1, 2006, 7:28 am CST

Oh, please.

Quote From: charles_

Whew........Most women and some men on these message boards are issuing  extreme venom. 

  

The real problems faced with most women is they have unresolved anger and contempt for men because of cheating or they were dumped. 

  

Please continue to send your hate on these message boards....it will help you vent your anger. 

  

I admit, a huge mistake.   

  

Also,   keep in mind we have four boys to raise ....yea I screwed up, but  now realize we have another chance to make amends as a whole family. 

  

  

Much to your dismay,  Tracy & I are renewing our vows on our 20th anniversary. 

  

Please send your prayers and positive thoughts to charlesontheshow@yahoo.com. 

  

We are "paying it forward" to spouses who are experiencing the effects of an affair.  

Like you would really change. You had plenty of chances to change, but yet, you continue to do the same thing over & over again. And yes, you totally screwed up badly, plus you do deserve all the hate that you're getting from us. It seems to me that you're enjoying this. Oh, & be prepared to get burned by lots of the users here, especially when you just gave out your E-mail address. I feel real bad for tracy after for what she keeps putting up with you. You just love to manipulate & brainwash her every chance you get. Hopefully, she'll see the light, & walk away from you. You don't deserve her, or any other woman.
 
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March 1, 2006, 6:45 pm CST

Yeah.

Quote From: agnesp

You notice Charles responds to the messages ..not Tracy..?
I definitely noticed it too. Perhaps she doesn't have an E-mail account or something? Or is it because charles is stopping her from seeing this board? She should register here and/or read all of these messages. I forgot to mention that I'm new here by the way.
 
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March 1, 2006, 7:11 pm CST

What? What are you talking about?

Quote From: agnesp

Oh gosh..now he is a Christian...I would be ashamed to admit it...what part  of adultry didn't he  understand ? 

I am still going with SOCIOPATH 

I never said that charles was a christian. I'm not on his side. Adultery IS bad. I just think that charles is stopping tracy from seeing this board now. I definitely hope that she sees the light in this. I'm a good man, and I definitely know how to treat women.
 
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March 1, 2006, 8:28 pm CST

I need some advice here.

In my view, and I'm just saying this, If I'm with a woman in my first relationship, & she goes out & cheats on me, I should leave her. But then she will say to me "If you leave me, you will never get another woman as long as you live. No one else would want you." I've never been in a real relationship before, but I'm definitely waiting for the right woman to come into my life. I don't want to be hurt when a woman says that to me. What do you think? Is that message bringing me down into hurt & pain? 

 

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