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Messages By: pnl_36

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sad
April 5, 2006, 11:02 am CDT

sad

Amber, 

   after seeing you on the show my heart broke for you. You seem to really want thanks to work out but I think in your heart you know it is over. You are to good for him. I noticed no matter how upset you got.... I NEVER SEEN HIM REACH OUT TO YOU. He is not worthy of you or your love. I know that is not what you want to hear.  I thank that if he is willing to change his bad habits it could work out. He does not have the right to degrade you in front of your kids.  why does he feel the need to look at trash on line? never could understand that gee get a life and grow up. that is what young boys do. TIME TO BE A REAL MAN!!!!  You looked so sad so lost. I have been hurt before and was lucky to have worked it all out. I wish  I knew exactly what to say. I sure do not have all the answers to the perfect happy life. I know we all make mistakes and have regrets but we have to learn from them, and do not keep making the same mistakes over and over.  A very special person in my life says "Don't tell me your sorry and keep doing the same thing over and over cause your not sorry (sorry you got caught) but not sorry" sorry demands a change, It takes 2 to make a marriage and only 1 to destroy it. I will be praying for you and your family I hope you get what makes you happy  that may mean moving on, and I'm sure that scares you. the uncertainty of the unknown, scared you are making the wrong choice. Just follow your heart. I believe families should stay together but sometimes staying together would be worse. I have been told in the past that one person can't fight alone. If the other person wants to fight fine smile nod and say my favorite words."yes dear what ever you say" smile and agree to every thing. Turn to god pray and i will be praying for you. God loves you and is there with you reach out to him and he will never let you down. he will never put more on your plate then you can handle. 

 
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hopeful
April 6, 2006, 6:05 am CDT

sorry for your pain

Quote From: me65560

My husband and I have been seperated for 5 months.  We still talk everyday we are best friends.  Last year he cheated on me with a younger woman.  Then 2 weeks ago he just slept with someone he met at a bar.  He is currently seeing someone else not in a relationship but also sleeping with this other person.  He says he still loves me.  I still love him but not sure if I'm in love with him.  We have been married for 11 1/2 years and are thinking about divorce.  I don't think he will ever change.  He still wants to have sex.  Should I just cut the ties completely and file for divorce?  I am so confused because I still have feelings for him.  I have 2 children with him.  It is so hard to just put my feelings aside.  I have read lots of advice and still don't now what to think or do.  Any other advice?  I'm still not sure if he is over me.  He still wants to spend time with me.  help

  I'm sorry about all the pain you are feeling. I really think you need to step back and look at your life. Is this where you want to be? No of course it is not. I do not really know what to say to you there is a song Radney Foster sings "Easier Said Than Done". NO one will be able to tell you what to do no one will have all the right answers. I went threw a hard time with my husband about a year ago...  And some one very special to me talked to. she told me, only you know when you have had to much, only you can say thats it..no more. She also told me that if  you are truly sorry for what you have done than you will change your ways, if you don't than your only sorry you got caught. I decided to stay with my husband for me no one else. we will be married 17 years at the end of this month we have 3 kids. If you could just take the time to find out what is in your heart. If you love him thats natural 11 1/2 years 2 kids thats a lot of good times. there is such a huge difference in loving and being in love..Maybe you love him for what he has given you...(2 kids). You might just be scared of letting go, moving on. I don't know but I see you say he continues to cheat sleep around, and that is not no way to treat the woman he "loves" I took my husbands hand put it on my heart and said." you broke it you fix it" he did not know what to say.  I have a very hard time trusting him. Please know that if you want this then you both will have to work things out, one can't do it alone. If he is still sleeping around I'm not sure I would want to be with him, but you have to follow your heart. I gave my husband 2nd yes 2nd chance if he messes up he has to end it.. tell family. our kids. we are doing good, I feel like I'm holding my breath waiting just waiting.. I stayed for me not the kids, I did not want Satan having victory over my life. Pray turn to God he will never fail you. He loves you and is there with you lean on him. And follow your heart. please keep me posted on how things are going. You will be in my prayers. PNL_36 

 
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happy
April 6, 2006, 6:26 am CDT

plastic people

If a woman whats to have surgery for her self to make her feel better about what she looks like then go for it, I had implants about 2 years ago at first my husband tried to talk me out of it. he asked me one day what do you want for our anniversary so i told him.  i had it done and he admitted he wanted me to do it all along, but he did not want me thinking he did not like my body the way it was,just in case i changed my mind.(smart move) I do not regret doing it i look better and feel better about my self. If a woman is doing it all for a man than thats wrong he should love her just the way she is.
 
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angry
April 6, 2006, 6:38 am CDT

CHRISTY

  Christy, 

     KICK Micheal to the curb!!!!!  Where does he get off pointing out all your flaws? Does he ever look in a mirror? Nope he can't... cause if he did he would beg you to for give him and thank GOD he has such a beautiful wife.. You can do SO much better than the likes of him. Tell your self every day I'm beautiful and Michael is very lucky to have me.... If you do this daily you will believe it cause it is very true. he should be loving you and treating you like a queen. Best of luck. 

 
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blank
April 6, 2006, 12:40 pm CDT

right on

Quote From: wolverine

Kick Mr. Mohawk-multiple ear piercings to the curb!   

  

It's apparent to me that Duane doesn't wasn't a wife.....he wants his *toys* more, which is evident by the way he responsed once the divorce papers were filed.  13K on a motorcycle?  How about putting that 13K in a college fund for your 3 kids?   

  

Duane thinks about Duane and only Duane....the kids don't matter, the wife doesn't matter, what Duane wants Duane goes and buys, come heck or high water.   

  

Let him look at his porn, ride his motorcycle, you're better off without having such a self-centered jerk as a husband.   

I totaly agree  let the little boy have his toys.. a real man will treat you better and put you and the kids  needs ahead of his own.
 
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frustrated
April 7, 2006, 5:13 am CDT

ladybuy21

Quote From: ladybuy21

hi  im 22 years old and me and my husband have been spilt up for 6 months and i really want him back and he don't want to get back together what should i do ? I know he still loves me and i still love him . After we split he found out i cheated on him and now im going to have a baby in about 8 weeks and not sure if its his are not. He says its not his.THat was not the reason we spilt till he found out than really didn't want me back if i could turn back time i would .I feel like he is not giveing this time to be fix are to give me a 2nd go round what shold i do
     Coming from the one who was cheated on. IT IS SO PAINFUL, every time they touch you you wonder are they thinking of them... me....some one else? Am I the one they want?  I gave my husband another chance and we have moved on as best as we can. but when there is little trust it is hard. If he took you back could you live with him happily in love knowing he could never trust you again?   I just don't understand what leads up to the point where you can let yourself cross the line.. I am truly sorry for your pain. AND I wish some how your husband could forgive you (but he'll never forget)  Just maybe if this baby turns out to be your husbands he will be able to find his way back to you, but you really need to know and understand things will never be the same.  Regardless of what happened and what is going on you will have a BEAUTIFUL baby. When I had my heart broke, shattered. I put my husbands hand on my heart and said " You broke it you fix it".  This response is not to make you feel worse, I know you wish you could change things. I hope this will kinda let you see that cheating is the worst kinda pain (I would rather be in labor for days.... ). I have been married for almost 17 years and have 3 kids.  You said you loved your husband and you knew he still loved you, take the time to ask your self  ARE WE IN LOVE there is a difference. I could tell you all the details on my troubles but just don't think it will help you any. My heart breaks for you and i hope all your wishes in life come true. No matter what you have done you still deserve to be happy. Give him time to try to forgive if your meant to be together it will happen. Pray God is listening and he loves you. Turn to him and let his will be done. Have faith I will keep you in my prayers.
 
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blank
April 7, 2006, 7:26 am CDT

04/07 Social Taboos: Is This Normal?

I THINK THIS IS SICK!!!!!! YOU ARE IN NEED OF SOME MENTAL HELP!!!!! 

    YOUR KIDS HAVE NO BUSINESS LOOKING AT OR EVEN KNOWING ABOUT SEX TOYS... AND TO KNOW YOU PLAN ON BREAST FEEDING SOME ONE ELSE BABY....... GROSS!!!!! 

     THIS IS ONE SICK FAMILY. TO HAVE SEX IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS. I'M SICK.. THE STATE  SHOULD INVESTIGATE AND REMOVE THE KIDS...... I  THINK YOU SHOULD GET REAL... A MOTHER THAT TRULY LOVED AND CARED FOR HER KIDS WOULD NEVER PUT THEM THREW WHAT YOU ARE.... YOU ARE SELF CENTERED NASTY............AND SHOULD NOT HAVE KIDS 

 
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frustrated
April 7, 2006, 10:58 am CDT

GET REAL

Quote From: brandonlee

if you pay for it, why would it be shoplifting???
 I have done that in the past... i have paid for more empty animal cookies and chocolate milk containers then i can count.... I asked a manager one day about this and was told..... "WE WOULD RATHER THE KIDS BE HAPPY AND QUITE THEN YELLING OR CRYING  IF COOKIES AND MILK DO THE TRICK HEY IT IS NO PROBLEM"  and was also told hey as long as your hear your spending $$$$$ so keep them kids happy. I have always paid for what was eaten and/or drank... I have also got in a store and gotten feeling really hot and weak so i get water and yes drink it....... would you rather me pass out crack my head  open? or sip water to feel better? people that complain about petty stuff needs to  stop and think some times there is a reason for it being done. and just maybe what you see them eating and/or drinking was already paid for.. please let all us moms know what store you work in we will all stay clear..... AND IT IS NOT STEALING UNLESS WE DO NOT PAY FOR IT....
 
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worried
April 7, 2006, 11:13 am CDT

i agree

Quote From: dgt123

I just posted a message asking you to please have those children removed from the home.  I was so shocked by how the children were being forced to live that I really wasn't thinking about their mother.  Now that I am, can you have her arrested?  Making her daughter walk around the house 2 hours nude for punishment?  Surely, that must fall under the heading of some type of abuse.
 I agree she  is a very sick person.. and should be put way for a long time.... cause making your  kid walk around nude is wrong i hope DR.PHIL turns her in. Please DR.PHIL help these kids so they can try to have a normal life... she says her kids are happy... yeah right only cause they do not know no other way of living.... dang seeing naked pics of my mom is something i hope i will never see.....  my kids will be told about sex i will answer there questions but i will not let them watch show them pics or toys.....my sex life is none of there business.... all 3 adults needs to be arrested.....
 
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upset
April 7, 2006, 11:25 am CDT

04/07 Social Taboos: Is This Normal?

Quote From: erzsebet

I was angered and sickened by this woman.  I don't care how she tries to justify the way she raises her children, the bottom line is that it is still child abuse.  I can't seem to shake how much this segment affected me.  If Dr. Phil supports this womans values in any way I feel that he is imoral and I will lose all respect that I felt for him.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a bible thumper, but I do have morals and right is right and wrong is wrong...this woman is just plain sick.  If there is any justice, someone will remove these children from their nitwit parent's home before they are totally ruined.

I agree I'm so ticked off and hope DR.PHIL will read enough of the post on his show to help the kids find safety in a real home... i hope the sick  NITWIT  parents are to embarrassed to ever show there face any where... i would also lose all respect for DR.Phil if he supports her..  

 

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