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Messages By: missymomma

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April 21, 2006, 1:04 pm CDT

crazyness and ma(n)dness

I have to say after watching the segment on Matt, that I have not been so mad over somthing I have seen on t/v/ for a long time. HE should have kept his pants on, or used a condom, or just kept on visiting rosy and obstaining from sex if he is not ready to be a parent. Men have it so easy as it is.  they don't have to pay child support, I know some men who have quit their high paying job to work at fast food as to pay less child support, and then there are those who just dont pay anything at all. 

This is just going to open up more doors to dead beat fathers who dont give darn about the kids they make just getting that feeling of satasfaction. 

I can't see how it would go in the favor of the father, he could get "clipped" and when hes ready for kids get it reversed. this is just so unfair to women, if anything it is a setback.  

 
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April 21, 2006, 1:06 pm CDT

abandoment

Quote From: kittyc

I agree with everyone who has a problem with the decisions made about having sex and the possibility of pregnancy, but we're not talking about PRE-conception rights here, only POST-conception rights.   

   

So let's lay the FACTS out and look at it logically:   

   

Pre-conception:   

Women - birth control or abstinence   

Men - condoms or abstinence   

   

Looks to me like the choices are pretty equal.......take responsibility or either keep your pants zipped or your legs together.   

   

Post-conception:   

Women - deliver and keep, deliver and put up for adoption, abortion, or abandon at a 'Safe Place'.   

Men - NONE   

   

When the feminists holler for equal rights, they better be willing to put their money where their mouth is.  Matt and his lawyers are absolutely right........there are NO choices for men with post-conception rights.  Often the ones who WANT to be fathers have that privelege taken away when a mother opts to abort, and others (like Matt) are forced to be fathers because they have no say in what happens after conception.   

   

This argument is ONLY about post-conception rights and it's obvious by the facts that men have NO rights whatsoever.  Which is exactly what I am teaching my boys.  My 17 y. o. is having a hard time understanding that, especially since he also understands that if a girl wants an abortion, she doesn't even have to tell him if she doesn't want to.  Out of the mouths of babes:  his biggest question is 'Why do they have all the say on what happens to the baby and I have none?'   

   

I hope and pray that Roe v. Wade for Men answers it for him.........   

   

And one more food for thought:   

   

If a mother can abandon her newborn at a 'Safe Places', why can't a father?  Concidering he is as much a parent to that child as the mother is, why not??   

9 time out of 10 the father has already abandoned the mother while she is with child, is that not enough? 

  

 
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May 6, 2006, 10:12 am CDT

family with and with out money

What happens then its your mom who's asking for money and u feel sacred to talk to her  because her husband ( who the family considers to be a looser) seems to make her family have to pay to see her. For instance my mom married a guy, and a few years latter he decides to go for ssi, so he doesn't work, my mom's the one who works, and most of the time they don't make it because her business is on-line, iv helped her out financially, she would say shes done that for me and my husband, but we have always payed it back. Now we make plenty of money and she says we don't know the stress of not having high bills, i said thats crazy, we have plenty of bills. the bottom line is that she cant come see her grandkids with out me giving her gas money That ti know her husband is gonna use for reasons that i don't agree with. He gets so jealous of our relations ship he forbids her to talk to me at times, then she gets mad that i don't visit her, and i ask her, well how am i supposed to visit you if we cant even talk on the phone unless your sneaking behind his back??? 

Her kids and grand kids are taking a back seat to her husband, shes choosing a man, who's not even our father over her own family, I agree maybe at times it might have to happen, but not like this! 

 
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May 19, 2006, 8:47 am CDT

my 6 year odl is driving my family apart

 I have a 6 year old s on named cam, who is driving my family apart I'M not sure what to do. the history is that i had lost my 2 oldest kids back in2001, I had made some bad decisions that caused me to have to do some time, and my mother was helping with the kids, but things happened and they ended up  with women who was not family. This women was alter diagnosed with multiple issues the best being Munchhausen by proxy.  She had started calling my son by her fathers name ( who was later reported that she and her dad had sexually activity going on well into her 30's to that she had gotten pregnant and later lost it) 

My daughter is doing great, she had some issues but is  the typical 9 year old going on 13. My 6 year is the problem, he has bed wetting that he turns off and on( because of this bed wetting my female dog  likes to "hump" him and she claws the heck out of him i tell him if he was to take a shower  and wash right he would not have her on him like that, I cant discipline the dog just put her out side  its not her fault but he just does not seem to care), he pees on the floor in his room or where ver he poops on the floor, i mean like he will be 4 feet away from a bathroom and just go saying he couldn't make it. I have a toddler who is a 20 months old ( from the older 2 kids step father), and my son cam just can not stand him, sometimes they play fine, and other times cam has pushed him down the stairs on on the ground or punched him or hit him. he will not brush his teeth, will not wash in the shower, hes happy being dirty, and it makes me sick. 

I am pregnant now with my 4th ( and last) child and I am extremely worried that he will be mean to this one also, he has gotten extremely worse since he has found out.  

I love my son to death, But I am terribly worried that cps will try and get involved  and break my family apart, I have no idea what to do, how to discipline him as nothing at all works with him.
Has anyone else had a child like this???  One more thing when hes at school he seems to be fine  I'm told her cries when he doesn't get his way, and kids don't like to play with him. And he has also informed me he wants to be a girl.  

Bottom line i don't know what to do with him, he been in counseling and nothing worked, he drew pictures and played with blocks, that was it. This is tearing me and my husband apart. 

 
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May 19, 2006, 9:48 am CDT

my son

Quote From: beertje

This kid is screaming for help.  You need to get him evaluated for possible sexual abuse... here's a site showing the list of signs that a child may have been sexually abused.  Your son, from what you're describing, is displaying multiple symptoms:

http://www.protectkids.com/abuse/abusesigns.htm

I would contact cps or a child psychologist immediately  to investigate the causes and the source of his behaviors as they hopefully can get him to open up.  He's most likely wanting to remain dirty to try to keep his predator away.  Make sure that you provide the emotional and physical support he is searching for, hugging him loads and reassuring him that it's ok to talk about what he's feeling and what he knows, if he remembers.  You son is not the problem, it's whomever is hurting him that is the problem.  He's just displaying the symptoms to give you the red flags that something's not right.  I wish you all the best in this most likely traumatic phase.


Thanks for the support, But he is notbeing hurt now, maybe its left over from when he wsa wihtthat women, they were made to watch porn, and my duaghter told me of an ecnounter thaht happened wiht a man there, i did tell cps at the time and they looked at  me like i was crazy, after all this is one of thir foster parents i was talking about.
 
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May 23, 2006, 2:54 pm CDT

Awsome

Quote From: bfulk555

I don't even know where to start.  I was this woman 14 years ago.  My husband was 20 when we met, I was 24.  We had been dating 3 weeks when he took me to meet his parents one Easter Sunday afternoon.  I was looked up and down, judged(unknown to me at the time).  There was no reason for his parents to "not" like me.  But, their disapproval was that he was dating someone older than him who was not his high school girlfriend. (his relationship with his H.S. girlfriend had ended 3 years prior to my meeting him)  They believe that it is traditional for one to marry their high school girlfriend, have a good job, live in your hometown, have 2 children (boy first, then a girl) a house and a dog.  He had already enlisted in the military before we had met and was awaiting time to leave for boot camp. They didn't give approval for that either, so they weren't happy before they met me.    They did a lot of unethical things while we dated.  He left for bootcamp and his mother was constantly calling me to see if he had called me.  She was very cold.  PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I HAD NEVER AND HAVE NEVER DISRESPECTED THESES PEOPLE in any way, shape or form.  He asked me to marry him 7 months after we met.  I said yes.  He wrote his parents a letter from boot camp telling them.  We planned to marry the day after Christmas 1992.  2 days before Christmas we were at their home and his father pulled him aside and was trying to talk him out of it.  His mother wore black to the wedding and didn't speak to me during the reception or the day after when we were leaving for our new home (he was stationed in Florida-we were in Indiana)   For the first 3 months they called every other day.  They visited every 3 months for the first 2 years. While visiting they treated me like I was some outcast in my own home.  They were angry when we started a family.  They invited themselves to be at our home when my husband arrived back from his first tour of sea duty....after he had told them to wait a week or two to visit.  After 6 months without him, and a new baby to care for, the night before he arrived home, his father told me flat out that they did not want him to marry me but "maybe everything will work out".  I was dumbfounded that someone would say such a thing.  I've been nothing but hospitable to these people year after year.  14 years later....we have the boy, the girl, a house, a dog and my husband has a terrific job that he loves and makes nearly $200k a year.  We are very happy.  It's been a whirlwind 14 years. We've traveled the world, experienced so many things together......we're living what we both have always dreamed of.    I have made a point to raise my children to NOT JUDGE PEOPLE. And I make sure they know how important it is, NOT TO JUDGE because of what my in-laws have done and continue to do.    My husband's relationship with his parents is all but nil.  He feels they do not respect him (even though he is 35 and more than deserves their respect--they should be the proudest parents in the world regarding what a wonderful man, husband and father their son has turned out to be)  

   

I'm sorry to go on and on.  But, I can not express enough, how hurtful it can be when parents try to manipulate what their children are doing.  My in-laws can (and have) said anything they want to me, without any ramifications from me. (I just smile and turn the other cheek)  But, it breaks my heart to see my husband being hurt by their trying to manipulate him and disrepect him.    

   

To answer your question: Don't say anything to your son.  He isn't asking you to "approve" her. That is not your place.  You don't have to invite them to dinner or anything.  If he says he would like you to meet her at some point, that doesn't mean that he wants your approval.  It means he is inviting you to meet someone that he likes. Someone that makes him happy. Someone important to him. The worse thing you can do, is show disapproval.  And he wants her to meet his parents:also people who are important to him.  She won't come to dinner with the preconceived notion of : "I think I'll see if I APPROVE of his parents"!    

Your son is 21. Old enough to make his own choices and live with them.  If you want to always have a relationship with your son, I would suggest not alleinating him.  Smile and be supportive.  Give advice when asked.  Don't pass judgement.  If you state your disapproval regarding this woman.....you are saying to your son..." We don't like your choice", "You don't know what you're doing".  You are judging HIM as well as the woman.  Keep in mind, she didn't start dating him because she knew he had parents who would disapprove of her. She met someone she apparently likes. The son you've raised, apparently with a good character who doesn't judge a book by it's cover or AGE.    

   

My son is 12.  I know exactly how I plan to greet anyone he will bring home to meet his parents. With kindness and respect.  The same way I would hope any parent would treat HIM when he gets invited to meet someone's parents.  

I just have to say that what you said was to the point and exactly right,Im olde rthan my husband and brang 2 children the the relationship, his mom didnt approve, but for some reason she was still talking to my husbands ex( him and his g/f broke up 2 years before him and I met, and he had been non -seriously dating around after the break up), and it took a while for her to realize that i was indeed the best thing that ever happend to her son. You can't judge someone by their age .. as long as they are legal. That girl or guy if the situation was reversed might just be the best thing to happen to that person. 

I applude you for teaching your children not to judge, more kids need to be taught that! 

Great Job! 

 
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July 18, 2006, 2:40 pm CDT

help

does any one know the after affects of dealing with a child that lived with some one that was diagnosed with maunchausin by proxey? IS there  a help group in dealing with children liek this, or even gettin the said perp to not ever be allowed to have kids again?
 

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