Quote From: purplepainI would steer clear of stereo types when it comes to you own personal relationship. You shouldn't need stereotypes to figure out the kind of woman you wife is.
Not all women find doing dishes sexy...I certainly don't. I could care less. I find my husbands brain sexy. I literally get turned on when he starts talking about physics or evolution or history or computer programming. My husband is incredibly brainy and brainy turns me on bad.
What EXACTLY has she said to you about her sex drive? She sounds like she's not going to be fixed by doing something specific to turn her on. She sounds like she doesn't want to be "fixed"...a person has to be willing to fix the problem.
She has said that she WANTS to want to have sex...she just doesn't. I simply added the part about doing things around the house not to sound sexy, but to illustrate that I'm not drinking beer on the couch, ignoring her and letting her do all the work and then expecting fireworks in the bedroom.
We have had an amazing sexual relationship in the past, which is why a complete halt in any sexual touching, french kissing, etc is so hard to take. I am not saying that what I did turned her on then...or that whatever that was I have stopped doing. I really have no idea at this point.
It has just become such a very sore subject that communication about our sex life is fraught with peril...and to bring it up shows just how dissatisified I am with the marriage, which works against my goal of having a joyful, connected and loving marriage (for both of us.)
Dr. Phil hits it right on the head when he says: "If you have a great sex life in your marriage, it accounts for about 10% of your happiness. If you do not, then it accounts for 90% of your unhappiness."
