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Messages By: mhpked

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September 15, 2007, 7:19 pm CDT

Yes these relationships work

My best friend is in a relationship with a man over 20 years her senior and has been very, very happy for over 10 years. They are the best thing that ever happened to each other.  I'm not the only one that thinks so, his daughter, granddaughter and exwife all agree. They have been through things that would have torn other couples apart but they have come out stronger than ever. I believe it is up to the individuals to make a relationship work and age has nothing to do with it unless you let it.
 
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February 14, 2008, 9:53 pm CST

02/14 Lies and Betrayal

This could be a wakeup call for internet dating! I know Dr. Phil believes in this but on the internet you can be anyone you want to be.  You can say anything you want and can get away with it. Unless you have a Dr. Phil doing the research for you how can the every day person know what is true?
 
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February 16, 2008, 9:00 pm CST

02/20 Bully Husband

My husband says the reason he has not so much as touched me in the last 7 of the 14 years we have been married  is because he is not attracted to fat women. I was thin up until 9 years ago when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and had to leave work. I am on disability. A year and a half ago I had lap band surgery and have lost 70 lbs. Now my husband has decided that he just doesn't love me anymore. I do not get much money for disability so I cannot support myself. I have talked to a attorney and my husband has everything worked out to where I will get next to nothing. I am deeply depressed and feel like my marriage is making my health problems even worse. Due to chronic fatigue syndrome I have gone from someone with a very clean house to very unkept and I can't get anyone to help me. My husband's friend says that I'm just "a fat lazy bitch". My husband agreed with him. 
 
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March 2, 2008, 12:36 am CST

03/03 Teens and Sex with Bishop T.D. Jakes

I have been very honest with my daughters about sex. I told them that they should wait until they were mature enough to  deal with the changes that take place when you start having sex. Your life completely changes. And when they believe it is time, talk to me and we will discuss it and do what needs to be done. My oldest is 24, made it through high school still a virgin, which made me happy. At 18, she was in college and on her own. I feel that at that point if I had done my job right, she would make good decisions. And she did. She came to me and we went for birth controll but also talked, again, about "safe sex" and using a condom in addition to the pill.  Her best friend did end up pregnant at 19 and unmarried. My daughter has finished college and is on her way to a career in law enforcement. I am trying to be as honest with my 13 yr old and give her as much information to allow her to make informed decsions. My best advise to parents is don't freak out! If you do, they will never come to you again. You also have to be realistic.
 
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March 2, 2008, 12:47 am CST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: mommag73

I'm so sorry to see that you are going through what I am currently experiencing. I worked two jobs for several years to support my husband and to help him start his business.  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis, and am now on Social Security and long-term disability through my company. He also called me fat and lazy; took pictures of my "messy' house, and kept a daily journal of what I did, when I got off the couch, where I went, when I came back, and how much money I had. He complained to his friends and family, within earshot, about my cooking or housekeeping, or weight, If I did clean the house perfectly, he would find a piece of dust in the corner to complain about, If I did spend money and time making a pot roast, with beef, potatoes, carrots, etc., he'd open a can of stew, with beef, potatoes, carrots. He kept us separated from our  our church, friends and family. He also withheld affection and sex from me, presumably as punishment, for the last nine of our twenty-five years together.  I remember Dr. Phil once told a guest that bank robbers get out of jail sooner than that.

Long story shorter; we finally left him, and are in the court battle. He found an attorney who is just as abusive. Several months after we left, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and needed surgery. My husband was notified by our local radio station that I had won their grand prize of $5000.00. He told no one about it, but made sure I found out, two months after it was too late to claim the prize, I couldn't even afford the pain medication, and recovered with meager nutrition. He would have been entitled to half, but he'd rather see me have nothing than to get $2500.00 free money.

Your marriage is indeed making your health problems worse. Your husband knows what he is doing financially. It's very difficult to find an attorney you can afford. I had to borrow money from my elderly parents just to consult with vocational experts to counteract the ones he hired. I'm broke, and he knows it. The business that I helped him build gives him almost 100K per year, and yet he says he can't afford support. But enough of me. Remember that you have value. If the house isn't perfect, so the h*** what? He'll survive. You need to rest when you need to rest, and do some cleaning only on your good days. Try to avoid cooking anything that takes a lot of stirring, because it hurts to stand, and it hurts your hands to stir.

On your good days, you can cook up extra batches for leftovers, but only if it isn't too tiring. On your bad days, you deserve, and need, to rest. If you can, see if there is a support group or counseling for domestic violence in your area. Remember, it doesn't have to be physical to be violent. God Bless.

I have not been on the message boards in a couple of weeks so I did not know about you reply. It seems that our stories are so alike. There is another who posted a reply to you post with pretty much the same story. I would like to get with you and discuss our situation. It is such a relief to find someone that truly understands. Please email me at maryhelenkeding@verizon.net
 
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March 2, 2008, 12:54 am CST

02/20 Bully Husband

Quote From: notanymore

14 yrs in an emotionally abusive marriage resulted in my developing fibromayalgia, chronic fatigue & other health problems (+ no sex for last 7 or 8 yrs for us).  after seperating several months ago was able to stop NINE medications!!  still too ill to work, but am hopefull for the future now that I'm no longer living w/daily stress & fear.
This is to reply to your reply. I find it very comforting that I have found 2 women that are expierencing the same thing I am. I would love to hear from you. Tell me about your situation. Maybe we can help each other.Please feel free to contact me maryhelenkeding@verizon.net
 
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March 2, 2008, 12:58 am CST

03/04 The Dr. Phil House: Rules of Engagement, Part 3

Quote From: hpmx59

Doctor Engage House Ment Of Phil Rules The Three. Finaley that what did it. Doctor Phil now you did it.----

You whent to far but I still like your show alot. See you on Tuesday March 04th, 2008. Sincerley Your. Rus--

sell Vlaanderen.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All I have to say is DON'T DO IT!!! I've been there, done that twice. It's just not worth it.
 
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March 12, 2008, 9:40 pm CDT

03/12 Let’s Talk about Sex

I have one thing to say about these folks that haven't had sex in over a year - waaaaa! I have been married since 1994 and haven't had sex since 2001. We don't  even sleep in the same room anymore. I would be happy to have sex but my husband is no longer attracted to me and tells me he doesn't love me. He says it is all my fault because I got sick (fibromalgia plus other ailments) then I got fat. I've lost close to 70 lbs but I'm still not atrractive enough. It's really funny because I never had a problem with my looks before. I was even a model back in high school. This is the first time I have ever been told I didn't look good enough to have sex with.

 

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