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Messages By: jadebear

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September 23, 2006, 6:46 pm CDT

Live in Texas

In Texas, my brother lived with his girlfriend , and after so many years, you are considered married under Texas law!!!! 
 
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September 25, 2006, 12:35 pm CDT

Not ready

Quote From: janessaluv

We are both very open and honest, that's one great thing about our relationship - our ability to communicate well. So, I should wait for him, even though he may never get to that point?
He was in a marriage of 10 yrs to yours of 5 yrs., so he might very well not want to remarry which is what he said. Also, if he had a vasectomy, that is a strong statement of not wanting more kids. He is not trusting birth control to decide it for him. Also you were both still technically married when you started dating.It might give you a chance to date a bit and grow and get to know other people and you can always say call me if you change your mind in a year or so. You never know........ It might be good after a divorce to step back a bit rather than go into another relationship right away. Just an opinion.
 
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September 25, 2006, 12:46 pm CDT

listen to your gut feeling

Quote From: marylou2

 Well I am a women, that has been dating  a man since April,of this year. Yes, We did meet on the internet and see hit it off. I did live in the Midwest and flew out to Cali. to meet him. I had stayed for 3 weeks the 1st time and we talked constantly on the phone and by internet.  I had went back home what was to be for 3 weeks then to come back to see if we still had the same connection.He flew me back earlier it was crazy, most to the time we do great, yes we have both been married before I have been 2x , my 1st husband I divorced because of infidelity and my 2nd tried to kill me and put me in a coma... so yes I am very causious know. I feel I have reason to be and don't want to be preasured. I am also am a disabled womed due to nerve damage so the more he pressures me on this issues and argues with me which usually is at least every other day it effects my body.

 I do love him and many qaulities that he does show and have...

Now he has also has been married 2x and we do have to deal with his ex wife since his childen we have every week and she makes it hard... for him not me.

The thing I deal with is he wants to Marry Now and I would like to wait for at least a yr.. Yes there are some issues with in our relationship and yes we do have some arguments and he does not argue fair... oh would I love Dr. Phil to hear it...LOL 

when the marry  issues comes up he always says to me oh since I don't want to do it know I am a liar and I have done nothing but, sold him a bill of goods... which does not make me feel very good on the inside.  Not a bill of goods, we have not even known each other a yr or dated a yr and if we can't even work thru this issue without out name calling and him getting angry it makes me causious is all...

I have never once said I would not marry him, I do love him and his children I consider them my own...

My children are grown 20 and soon to be 30.

I do believe that men  or women that have been dating for years and don't want to step up to the plate though need to move on and except the truth. and find someone to love them and share with them the needs and wants of there dreams and desires.

 

any advice would be nice

 

I think his pressure to marry so fast should be a red flag and warning sign to you. Especially after knowing him only a short time and having met him on the internet.Maybe the first visit went good but you said the next visit(already) was soon after and the arguments affect your health. If he doesn't want to wait even one year, then that is a warning sign. He is flying you out there but you need to protect yourself . I would end the relationship to protect your health . He could be after your bank account  or credit  or whatever and he needs it now . you don't know.
 
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September 28, 2006, 12:26 pm CDT

18 hours away?

Quote From: queenofcali

Actually the only contact we have had is on phone and chatting, and the relationship comes in to play by him telling me that he loves me and all the other promises he's made to me that haven't been kept.......hummmmm How stupid do I feel................very.......but there it is again.... a little voice  telling me "I'm wrong", "whats that little voice your saying"?  I'm wrong about feeling this way, and I shoud see what happens, you'll see when he shows up tomorrow for your meeting face to face,".....see it's that damn little voice that keeps me hopeful, and I don't want to be right about these thoughts I'm having.....or have had sice the first promise he made me was broken..

 

I know everything about him, I know his address, his phone number, which I don't call him, but I have called his house once and asked for him (I knew he wasn't home at the time thats why I called ) I  was just checking to see if his mother answered and if I had the right number, his mothers name, his childs name, his friends name (which I have contacted and asked for info, and of course he told me what I wanted to hear)..............o man I know what your thinking...and there's that little voice again.............talk about confusion.......I think I'm there............  

 

Well the last time that something came up and we didnt meet, I told him well it just so happens I will be up that way, so I'll call you when I'm in town and we can meet, ohman did the IM screen start filling up with this and that excuse, said If I were to come there it would have a big affect on him getting custody of his daughter and on & on...........I would though get in may car right now and drive 18 hrs to met him (it's the little voice telling me to do it)

 

And he's never asked me for a dime, only play money at the poker site we play togethre on, but thats ok, actually I have asked him for money and he has sent it to me,  he sent $135.00 I wanted it for something I was planning for his first visit that never happened...............lol

 

I'm dumb for falling for this guy like I havem and I mean I have fallen for him, if he is all that he says he is , then I think how dumb would I be to let this one get away.........but by no meand does he have a grip on me so tight that I would give him any money at all............so my wallet is closed and eyes are partially opened.......we'll see and I will let america know what happens after tomorrow...............To Be or Not to Be

Does he live 18 hours away or in the same area? Just wondering how far if you planned to meet tomorrow. You could do a backround search using zabasearch or one of the others. Oh, well, what happens tomorrow will tell. He could be married if he doesn't want you coming there or in a relationship. Spend 50 bucks and do a backround search. At least it might tell you the other people that share his address.
 
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October 1, 2006, 12:56 pm CDT

good role models

jadebear ........ formerly zapatosred............. Had to go with my son to preorder a computer game on Friday,but I saw some of the show and had seen some on ET before. I think Robin and Dr. Phil are grounded enough to pass that on to their kids. I did get to see the event planner guy which was good!:>) The aubergine guy :>) that was so funny but the flowers were beautiful. I thought the Italian saying over the arch was neat and the candlelight service. My take is that the brides parents are not in the public eye and the show and media may have focused on Jay's family because they are. The neat part was that he had his Dad be best man . The family relationships are more important in the long run. They probably just  want to be a normal couple. I was burned out on celebrity stuff with the Brad Pitt - Jolie thing and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes stuff  and feel sorry for those kids. But this was a nice exception,being beautiful both outside and inside. 
 
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October 2, 2006, 2:41 pm CDT

Affair with abuser?

It sounded at the end like the guy she was having the affair with was physically abusive in the past towards her and she went back to him. So Todd being so angry is a pattern in the type of men she picks. I think she wants out and I hope Todd gets counselling for his anger so he picks better next time. Just cut your losses and take your kid out of there. That was a nice act she put on talking to Justin but I didn't believe it-what a fake!!  Now if she is knowingly taking her kids into this "next" relationship with her affair guy, I wonder if this has to be reported because he sounds more violent and angry than Todd. Let her go Todd and don't waste your time beating up the other guy and going to prison. It would give Jessica too much satisfaction. Now HE might end up going to prison because she is off the charts in her behavior and he will probably revert to his old behavior in no time. I think sometimes in 2nd marriages, they are looking for someone to help with the kids and or finances and  jump into it too fast. These two are a match made in H*** . Even his son threatened to kill her........  I think Todd should ask to have her  dropped off at the other guys place with her stuff, change the locks or move, and get a restraining order so she can't come back if it doesn't work out  and report her to authorities as an unfit mother.
 
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October 3, 2006, 1:04 pm CDT

Soap Opera House:>)

Quote From: geewalters

Jessica is an excellent actress that should get an Academy Award for her performance as the

villain!!!

Gosh, and I thought she was Little Miss Sunshine!!!!:>) Ha HA   Too bad they couldn't broadcast her private cell phone chats!  The other guy might like the sex, but he might not be counting on two kids in the picture.  The first thing when my son came home from school, I said, guess what I heard on TV today? Your only job in life right now is to get an education and have fun! Now and in High school,too(. Hey, I can use all the help I can get!!!!  )Then he asked me about college, and I said well, I think so, and he said ,  I hope so, cuz that's when I hear the real fun starts!!!!  (he's almost 13)This show may get us thru the teen years yet.

                   Well, back to Glinda the good witch or whatever,  Reminds me of Lily Tomlin in the movie 9-5 where she thinks about being Snow white as she sprinkles rat poison in the guys coffee.Imagining little singing birds around her......  Jessica needs someone to bang her over the head with a  fairy magic wand to bring her back to reality. But it's like the scarecrow ,"if I only had a brain"................................As the sands thru the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.......Just don't get your head stuck in the hourglass........whatever......

           

 
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October 4, 2006, 5:23 pm CDT

Jadebear( formerly zapatosred)

I think the little boy would be in danger the minute the guy(chris) gets into another relationship and his anger comes out at the next wife/girlfriend. Cuz you just know he's going to find another victim to take out his anger on whether he gets custody or not. I fear for that next woman if she has children and no info of his history. He looks like a cold angry guy and a ticking time bomb. His attorney  should be ashamed. I'll bet she'll see the anger he's got somewhere along the line. Good for the wife's mother. She must be a very special lady.  Let us know what happens......
 
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October 4, 2006, 5:44 pm CDT

jadebear formerly zapatosred

I loved germ lady!!!  She was going to Kenya though so she can't be too bad.......She looks like the kind who could take on a terrorist any day(she would drive them nuts)  AbdelRahmen -your cave is full of germs and that Camel - is that really necessary ?  How often do you wash those turbans-I see I have my work cut out for me here!!!:>)   But   I wouldn't go up in the helicopter tho- no protection there even if it was fun to build himself. It is as they say a lawn chair with a motor. I take flying lessons and  I met a lady whose husband had many hours as a fighter pilot but later on got into the experimental helicoptors as a hobby and that's how he died-in one of those even if he survived in vietnam. I don't blame his wife one bit. Agoraphobia does not sound fun at all. I hope maybe they could sometime have a show about what causes compulsive talkers to be that way as I've known a few . 3 - one in college, one  aquaintance,         and one dear relative who has passed on. Also, what makes people be the kind who are always late for everything? I'm talking 1 hour or more where you have to give them an earlier time to be there?
 
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October 4, 2006, 8:24 pm CDT

jadebear formerly zapatos red

Quote From: indygirl71

 

 

 

OK all.....now, all I keep reading are bashes on Jessica....Now, no one is perfect and I am sure those of you who post on this site aren't perfect either. It does state in the Bible, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

 

I knew Jessica many years ago in school. Jessica is a very caring and loving person....unfortunately, she just got messed up with the wrong man.

 

I am not saying Jessica is perfect.....here again, none of us are perfect however, when we do wrong, we should admit it, which I agree, is something Jessica should've done but, we do not know what goes on behind their closed doors in Kentucky so, it is wrong of us to come on here and talk about what bad parents they are, how bad Jessica is, etc....

 

Again, we aren't in their shoes so, we don't know the day to day struggles they may get into and I think we should allow Dr Phil to help mend this relationship, if it is mendable and to allow Todd and Jessica not to be scrutinized on the internet because of some mistakes they had made. I am sure Todd is not perfect in this endeavor. I bet there are things HE has done as well.  We are just hearing about the main things Jessica has done...also, with his mother coming into the picture, how is THAT going to help? I would feel sabotaged as well if my in-laws were brought on me suddenly .

 

I hope in reading this posting, MAYBE I can find another caring soul who agrees with me....these posts are OUTRAGEOUS!!! The amount of people in here ready to throw stones, need to take a hard, long look at their own lives before they choose to slander someone they don't even know.

Yes, a caring soul who agrees with you ....sorry, not even Mother Teresa would go there,God rest her soul...... It  completely takes all responsibility away from Princess Jessica to suggest that all her troubles are the result of getting mixed up with the wrong man............... The kids need to come first and once you are a mother you have to take some responsibility for yourself. Years ago she didn't have kids ,etc. Ghandi would lose patience with this girl, so I'm not surprised that the Dr. Phil show has also.  Maybe have the house cleansed of bad negative vibes after she leaves.I think you get holy water(Iwasn't Catholic for nothing) and sprinkle it in each room . Light candles in each room. And walk around the outside of the house and throw salt over your left shoulder.:>)  Hang a cross on the wall also. Then the next family won't get their negativity. :>) Possibly have it done by a Jesuit priest..............................
 

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