Messages By: dradsmith

Thank you for stating the obvious (or common sense – which is what I like to call it).

I am a late “Baby Boomer” that has no children.  Since I don’t have kids, everyone tells me that “I don’t understand” because I have never raised a child. 

Guess What???  I do understand because I am surrounded with friends that have raised a bunch of spoiled rotten brats.

Examples:  (please let me name a few)

We ALL stand in line for 10 minutes while this 3-yr old decides what he wants to eat.  When my mother took me down the cafeteria line it was, “She will have a chicken leg, green beans and corn”

While I am trying to go over something important on the phone, the child (who is on the other shoulder) is screaming in the phone receiver because they want something NOW!!

We are in a store and because said parent will not buy the $200 pair of sandals that would last one day on the playground, we have a 10 minute screaming tantrum the entire store hears.  Let’s by all means stand there for 15 minutes and try to reason with this 7 yr old, that $200 is a lot of money to pay for a pair of shoes, which is more than Mommy spends on hers.  AUGHHH……….    And we do that because if she doesn’t like them then she won’t wear them. (I bet she would if she was told to wear them.)

My point to my examples is that – have parents lost their minds?? My mother helped me select my clothes until I could afford to buy them myself, told me that she was on the phone on an important phone call and would be with me when she could, and did not make a cafeteria line back up out the door while I decided if I wanted corn or mashed potatoes.  When I misbehaved, I was taken to the car or bathroom until I decided that it was more fun to be a part of the group then look at the four walls of a drab bathroom.  If I that was not a part of my reasoning skills, then a firm hand was applied to my bare bottom until I came to my senses.  It worked wonders!!

 I think I grew up pretty good.  I learned to respect my parents and elders; I am considerate of others and have pretty good manners. I realize that I am not the only person on the planet, nor was I put on this earth so that everything I wanted would be mine.  I had to earn my allowance for extras (getting 10 cents per paper bag full of weeds), was allowed in one sport or activity at a time, and was told to get off the phone and get in bed by 10pm on a school night. If I didn’t, then the phone was taken out of my hand and hung up for me.  There was NO DOUBT in my mind who the parent was or that I was a child until I could support myself.

We are raising a group of very self-absorbed children and that goes along with the parents that are raising them.  They want to be their best friend, not the parent.  A child has the right to be anywhere you are, and if they scream for two hours straight, then tough. You better like it and get over it.  It doesn’t matter if it is on an airplane, bus, car or restaurant.  If they want to kick your seat or hang over it and slobber on your head, then you better think that it is cute or get "the look".  There are no rules or boundaries or even reasoning skills. Everything is supposed to be "cute".  Well, guess what?? It is not - nor will it ever be.

That could be why I have followed a few of their parents to a grave yard to bury them.

Since the advice was coming from their "best friend" rather than as a parent with consequences, the opinion that it wasn't safe to drive that car around a curve at 100 miles/per hour or after consuming a few gallons of beer was not taken seriously. Or that staying out till 2am on a date wasn't too smart and produced a child at age 17 because "my mother was so strict on me, and I just don't want to be like that to my daughter."

It is sad. It is not only unfair to the child, but to the rest of the population that has to try and teach them, hire them, and reason with them.  Nothing in this life is free - we all pay the price for our actions, one way or the other. Because we are all so worried about making the child's life better than ours - we ourselves have lost our sense of reasoning and common sense.

I think we need to be real careful about automatically condemning the teacher before it is proven they committed the crime.  I know there are teachers out there that commit these felon acts with children, but there are also some that have lost their careers because a child decided to “get even”.

As a teacher, I have to now be REAL careful about being alone in a classroom alone with a student.  Used to it was perfectly acceptable to have a student come in for help after school – but now it is way too scary. That is sad because the student suffers.

Children are different now and by this statement, I mean SOME not ALL.  There is less respect and support for teachers many times at the parent level.  If we do something that the child doesn’t like then we experience “the attitude”. Some even threaten to get even.  

I know of a wonderful teacher that was falsely accused by a student of sexual misconduct.  It was proven that she did nothing wrong, but her career is over. She is in thousands of dollars of debt from attorney fees, was removed from her classroom, and her reputation ruined, and career virtually over as a teacher.  What can she use her teaching degree for now? – so she is also out all the money for her education as well.

All because this student was mad about a decision that she made and decided to get even. The parents don’t have the money to repay her for her attorney costs and what can they do to the child to punish them for destroying her career?  Boot him out of school for the rest of his life – not likely.

This is a real serious situation that teachers are facing. There needs to be some guidelines set before a teacher is automatically condemned and looses everything over a false accusation. For those that do commit this type of crime, then they need to loose everything. They are an embarrassment to our profession.