Messages By: sunmoonindian

A marriage is teamwork; simple and plain as that.  If someone steps outside of it and then games ensue who is thinking of the children? Both of them seem to be guilty of that... But why would this woman be so hasty in wanting this man as an example for her children, only to have them grow up and do this to another woman, when she knows the pain firsthand? Also, don't think for a minute that an affair does not affect a child! I always knew when my father cheated! A girlfriend's role is not in the middle of your marriage; it is simply to be a friend and to be with you thru EVERYTHING throughout life; unless it is harmful to either one of them... Life needs to be authentic -  get off the couch and stop watching reality shows and trying to relive them in the household. Raise your children with real morals and values as to give back to a functioning society that we all can live in!

What???!!!!! If you are taking a nanny into your home you have to expect some sort of formality and ethics... you are not "raising" another child!!!!!!! They are there to assist you with yours!  If they don't have the maturity and where -with- all to assist you with the tasks to run a sucessful home without the fear of a "attack" within your home; personally or financially; why are you hiring them???? You have to take some responsibility in it as well! This is a job and needs to be treated as such at ALL times and once the barriers are let down then YOU invite trouble in!  Think about it; a home is a huge responsibility and needs to be run like a business but with so much care and love when it comes to the children...  You can't have your third in command showing up to work in baby doll pjs! 

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I will tell you that when you go through something traumatic like infertility issues you are dealing with hormones!!!!!! Crap- when your hormones are out of whack you don't feel good or even sexy let alone sexual! There is zero urges! I know first hand! My husband and I had to talk about this finally and I was super definsive as I felt I was not "doing my part as a wife" (get her side of it now?) I knew I wanted it but didn't feel it but didn't know why? I couldn't force myself as it would be painful and rote- yuck! Even after he'd try to romance me it wouldn't work... we finally wen't to a doctor who suggested a few things; hormone treatments everyday- easy, a over the counter libido pill for the night we decided to try it; (you can find something like this at a "store" also look for a lubricant that has a "warming" sensation in it to stimulate her something like Viva cream. A few rose petals on the bed and candles in the room before you start to set the mood show her you are willing to take it slow and rekindle what you used to have. She is on unsure footing right now so pounsing on her is not a good thing! Once we slowed down and realized I had a "plumbing' issue and addressed it and waited a few weeks for the chemistry to work it's magic then we started working on the rest! Best wishes to you and your family!

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I will tell you that when you go through something traumatic like infertility issues you are dealing with hormones!!!!!! Crap- when your hormones are out of whack you don't feel good or even sexy let alone sexual! There is zero urges! I know first hand! My husband and I had to talk about this finally and I was super definsive as I felt I was not "doing my part as a wife" (get her side of it now?) I knew I wanted it but didn't feel it but didn't know why? I couldn't force myself as it would be painful and rote- yuck! Even after he'd try to romance me it wouldn't work... we finally wen't to a doctor who suggested a few things; hormone treatments everyday- easy, a over the counter libido pill for the night we decided to try it; (you can find something like this at a "store" also look for a lubricant that has a "warming" sensation in it to stimulate her something like Viva cream. A few rose petals on the bed and candles in the room before you start to set the mood show her you are willing to take it slow and rekindle what you used to have. She is on unsure footing right now so pounsing on her is not a good thing! Once we slowed down and realized I had a "plumbing' issue and addressed it and waited a few weeks for the chemistry to work it's magic then we started working on the rest! Best wishes to you and your family!

My son is now 18 and is going to a special needs program and will graduate this spring. I have been writing a book for three years about my son's struggles as our state (Idaho) has one of the worst mental health care systems around - no joke; it has been deemed this! My son and I have been working very hard and have struggled from day one - only we didn't get the autism diagnosis until he was 16!!!!!!!!!! We knew at the age of 6 mos. something was wrong with Brian and doctors began testing for obvious problems. From then on "they" could never get ALL the diagnosis correct so therefore the treatments were never correct - Brian has 5 neurological disorders! Autism being the main issue along with an information processing disorder. I have busted my butt since he was young and have worked in special ed classrooms as a teacher for 12 years; working alongside legislators as well as clincial doctors, institutions and physcologist for 18 years. I have studied autism and learned the first hand effects as my brother also was autistic ADHD. I would be willing to "talk" and maybe we all could be sort of a "release" for each other. It is still very tough - Brian is trying an independent living program with 2 psr workers; 3 doctors, intensive therapy, several meds, he has had 14 years of speech and cognitive therapy. I read just about every article put out on autism - even the ones the stars write like Jenny McCarty's in Peoples... it gives you hope and makes you feel less alone. I too believe that there is a special place in heaven for mothers like us! There has to be as this is the toughest struggle you can go through; each day zaps all your energy mentally and then physically and when your tears are all cried out you wonder if your heart will ever be healed. Then the day finally comes when your child finally says for the first time "I love you, mom" and can give you a hug. You will be forever changed; and when his doctors and psr workers look at you and tell you that "he is so much further ahead than many kids with his disorders", you can finally breathe and maybe sort of realax some...

This situation happened to unfold itself in our "family". Thankfully she divorced herself from the lying, cheating, sick man and let him spiral out of control by himself. But comes the point of all the chaos being brought into the home amongst the children. How do you explain the lifestyle to the children and also justify the expenses taken away from the family. It seems so selfish when you are a parent to put someone else through this, when they didn't ask for this shame of your lifestyle choices. Just how deep persay is your fixation with this "lifestyle" willing to go? Online advertising, group chat rooms, random dates out of personal ads... are you willing to be busted by an undercover agent? This fool did and that is how his life became aparent to his new bride/new mother and family who never saw the signs of his addictions. Is this really a personality disorder or are you just fulfulling some deeper need within your self?