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Messages By: bddmymatt

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October 28, 2007, 11:01 am CDT

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My 35 year old son took his life last year as a result of suffering from the symptoms of BBD.  He was my only child.  College graduate; created/owned successful international business; 6'2", 'buff'', very good looking ‘chick magnet’, wonderfully witty and outstanding personality.  Respected, generous, loving, 'life of the party'; so many friends.  Was so good at hiding his torment until it was too late.

 

Looking back, I can track maybe 3 years before his death that his behavior was changing.  His last year he was obsessed with wanting to talk about his 'gross appearance'.  No longer wanted to be seen in public because ‘he knew peopled were grossed out by his looks’.  Had one minimal surgery on his eyes; wanted more and began seeking out top plastic surgeons who fortunately were suspect of his obsession.  Would become so angry with us, workers, and friends for not agreeing he was disgustingly ugly.

 

He hid his torment so well until his last year...until he couldn’t fake it anymore.  He was ashamed about not feeling ‘normal’, the emotional distress from this obsession just wore him out.  He never acknowledged that he had a disorder....just that he was grotesque.  

 

This is so heartbreaking for the person that can no longer reason and for the family and friends helplessly watching the demise.  While he secretly saw a therapist, it was difficult for us, including his therapist, to find a medical doctor that 'got' what was really going on with my son.  Finally we did and told that my son was so far  advanced in the BBD world tht it would  difficult for him to 'return' and warned that he was at high risk for suicide. (My son never met the doctor, but did meet with his therapist, me and his father). Without out my son's knowledge, we were in the process of obtaining a court order that would mandate a long term hospital confinement.  It was too late.   I miss him every second of my days…..

 

 

 

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