Messages By: lettiecs

To breast feed, or to bottle feed is a personal decision. Each woman is her own expert. Neither choice is wrong! 

My experiences may not be your experiences, just like each birth experience is unique. 

I bottle fed my 3 babies after researching all the facts. I never had a child with ear infections, gastro intestinal difficulties, problems with scheduling(each of my children put themselves on feeding schedules),or  trouble with going to sleep or staying asleep. 

I never had trouble bonding with my children.I did not have babies with oral thrush or yeast infections. My children had regular bowel movements. They were very healthy babies and my oldest are healthy adults.  My youngest is 8, and is also very healthy. My children are all very smart and have been advanced in school by an average of 2 years. 

These are MY experiences as a mom who chose to bottle feed. Your experiences, may be similar to mine, or very different. My experiences don't make me the expert on how to feed babies, except with my own children. Each mom needs to decide what is best for her BABY and not what she wants for herself.  

I read a message which stated that milk comes in as soon as a child is born. Again, each woman is different and that was not my experience. My breasts were engorged when I was only 4 months pregnant with my first child. I woke up soaking wet one morning, and there after during the entire pregnancy. I did not have milk with my second child--not at all. And when my 3rd child was born, milk was not produced for 6 days after the birth. So even had I wanted to breastfeed, it would have been impossible.  

I believe in discretionary breastfeeding in contrast to nondiscretionary breastfeeding. To men, breasts ARE sex objects. They may look at a breast with a baby attached and wishing all the while that he was on that breast. With all the sex crimes against women and children in our society, why would anyone want be immodest while feeding a baby?  

Should a woman be stuck in a restroom or a car to breastfeed? Absolutely not. Most women know how to nurse a baby without drawing undue attention to her private parts.  

I find this to be really sad. While you have breastfed your children was a good choice for you and your babies, you don't need to be so harsh towards bottles.  Not all mom's can breastfeed for so many reasons. If you have a daughter, what if she grows up and is unable to breastfeed? It is good to know that their are options. 

Breastfeeding and bottle feeding alike each offer different advantages. Each mommy has that choice to make. Neither choice is wrong.  

My daughters always pretended to breastfeed as that is what they saw from our relatives. I never breastfed,but certainly didn't see anything wrong with my daughters knowing that breastfeeding is indeed a great option. 

Education is the key. 

Appears like Grant wants total control of his life as well as Kelly's. He may be a very insecure person to be so critical of Kelly. Grant, Remember that what you see in those night time soap opera's are all a fantasy.  

When my husband nags about how something is done in the house, I remind him that he does his job the way he deems appropriate, and also,I do not go into his garage and tell him how to clean it or where to put things (I wouldn't be able to get in the garage anyway as it is full of junk!)  

and he doesn't need to tell me how to do my job.  

Each person in the marriage needs to feel that they are contributing and that what they do is worthwhile. Wives, as well as husbands, need to know that they are important and valuable. Words mean nothing if not backed up with action. So if you say you love your spouse, but then you criticize and demean her, she will not believe your words.  

Marriage is to be a committment of mutual respect and love. Helping and supporting--not tearing down one another. 

A married person cannot live for him or her own self. Each person in the partnership needs to give and compromise, and work toward making their spouse happy and secure. 

I hope Grant gets a clue. Seems like he has a good heart, but his method just doesn't work. 

My youngest daughter doesn't watch Dora the Explorer. We know the character because of other children we know, but don't have a clue about what is on the program. Dora was non existent when my oldest daughter was younger. We don't watch much t.v in our home, as we prefer to read. 

In our area, bottle feeding is not taught in school. In the junior high and high school courses, breastfeeding is encouraged and promoted. Personally, I believe that should be taught at home and not at school. It sounds like you are doing your job very well,as a mom, by teaching your standards and sticking to your convictions. 

No one is asking you to lie to your children, but don't you think it is dishonest not to give them all the facts?  

I know many women who have adopted babies. Many others I know have illnesses, or have had breast reductions, or mastectomies, and are unable to breastfeed. Some have fibroid tissue which inhibits milk production, some take medications which would be harmful to baby. There are many reasons that babies may not be able to BF or that mama's would not be able to offer that.  

I prefer my children to know all the facts and to be able to make reasonable choices. I hope they will not feel pressured to do what they are not comfortable with, which ever choice they make. And absolutely, my daughters have tried to breastfeed their baby dolls. They have always seen my in laws breastfeeding, and it has been a curiosity for them. Not an issue here. I know that some think that is the only way to go, and some breastfeed  for economic reasons.For some, it is about convenience, and some it is about laziness. Still other women are brought up believeing that they HAVE to breastfeed.Not all women breastfeed for the same reasons,and not all women bottlefeed for the same reasons.  

And so far as facts are concerned. There are so many "studies" on breastfeeding,diabetes, SIDS,cancers...(for just a few examples) and each one will say something different. Just yesterday I read that the AMA  has done a study that shows pacifiers decrease incidences of SIDS. I don't believe that, but they say "studies have proven that.." 

I have worked in the childcare profession for many years, dealing with infants and toddlers.Not once have I had to deal with  the experience of a baby dying due to being bottle fed. It has been my experience however, to see babies who were losing weight and dehydrated due to not getting enough milk from their mother's breast. These mama's have been totally devastated by this,since clearly they believed they were doing the best for their babies. 

 When it comes to diabetes being caused by bottle feeding, I certainly will never believe that.  4 out of 6 of my husbands family memebers are diabetics, and they were all breastfed.My family does not yet have any diabetics.  According to other studies that have been done, diabeties has a genetic factor--runs in the family.  

Breastfeeing was once said to prevent uterine cancers, now the current findings are that breastfeeding has nothing to do with uterine cancers.  

So as you can see, I don't place any value on studies. Nor will I equate diabetes to the choice of how to feed a baby.   

one quick question: do you allow your children to believe that santa brings them toys? what about the Easter bunny? These are both lies perpetrated by most well -intentioned parents in our society.  

Thank you for sharing your view in a non threatening way and for holding to conviction.  

When a man and woman make the decision to be sexually intimate, there is always the chance that a pregnancy can occurr. Matt's ex girlfriend was on the pill. Matt should have done his share in prevention of pregnancy as well as his ex, if he was so set against being a father. He should have made sure he was using a condom.  

Seems to me, the woman in this case is the only one who was taking some responsibility. Of course we all know that no birth control is 100 % with the exception of abstinance.  

Now there is a precious baby involved. This child did not choose to be born, nor does she get to choose what happens to her. She cannot choose to walk away from her parents.  For every person, male or female, who after conceiving a child, thinks they should get the final choice, you are very selfish.  Every child is a defenseless creation. Each one must be nurtured and cared for. 

A woman carries the child for 9 months. That much you have right.  

I have raised 3 children, and I can attest to the fact that the responsibility for a mom does not end after the 9 month gestation. I am responsible for the well being of my child all day and all night until they leave home to live on their own. That was an average of 19 years for me.   

It is a physical ,emotional and mental responsibility to parent a child. It is much more taxing than simply writing a check and mailing it each month. A parent is up at night when the child is sick, gets called to the school when the child gets hurt. A parent trains and teaches a child so that the child can grow up to be an emotionally and physically healthy adult.  

If men and women would wait to have children until they are married and stable, the man would only be "using his body" to support one household instead of 2. Maybe he should consider all that before he uses his body for fun. 

It is all about maturity, responsibility and selflessness. 

I am not sure how I feel about "unschooling". We know of only one family who are unschoolers, and those children are not doing too well on any level. The children place no value on commitments or deadlines; However, I don't believe that is indicative of the majority of unschoolers.

I am homeschooling my daughter for a number of reasons,but will detail only the major points. She did attend kindergarten in our school district and then we saw the need to do something different.

Our daughter was tested at a 2nd grade level when she was admitted to kindergarten. The teachers called me to a conference and said that my daughter actually tapped out the 2nd grade charts, but  legally they could not test her any higher, nor were they allowed to place my daughter in the 3rd grade, which they believed was the level she should be placed at.

 So my child was in kindergarten where she was sent to 1st and 2nd grade classrooms for math, and reading. In doing this, she would miss out on field trips and recess time, which were scheduled for the times she was in the other classrooms.

My daughter felt left out and lonely. She was never with other children as she was getting her teaching from a couple of para educators in the classroom,and not actually mainstreamed.

She began to have severe asthma attacks and would be sent home from school. My daughter missed alot of school due to asthma and the need for a nebulizer machine, which the school could not administer to her.

 Currently my daughter is on a 6th grade level, and if she were still in the public school, she would only be in the 3rd grade. This is a very social child. She has taken dance classes, gymnastics and is in taekwondo. She is also involved in a youth group at church.,and there is also a homeschoolinging organization in our area, which organizes sports activities and field trips as well as art and science cooperatives.

Our daughter has many advantages over children who are in public schools. She does her studies in the morning and is usually finished by lunch. Then she helps me with the daycare children, and helps bake and clean, and of course, she gets to spend alot more time playing.  She is getting hands on learning as well as book studies, and will most likely graduate at age 16.

The most important change that has taken place, is that my daughter no longer has asthma. She is a socially and emotionally well-adjusted child.

Whereas public school is not the right option for my daughter, that doesn't make it wrong for someone else. Each child is an individual with specific needs.

Education is important and the options should be researched and weighed very carefully. Each parent has the responsibility to do what is best her their own children.

I wonder how you could have accessed that my daughter will suffer the consequence of my pride.

If you  had read my entire post, then you would know that the teachers and staff at the  public school in our district did nothing to help my child sociallly, nor was my daughter being taught on her academic level. She was NOT mainstreamed with children her age while in kindergarten. She felt alone. The anxiety and stress of being sent from class to class and having no stability at school, caused severe asthmatic symptoms. Remember that I stated how my daughter missed recess and field trips due to being taken to different classrooms fo reading and math. She was NOT able to play with children her age in that setting. She was not playing at all.

Due to my daughter being homeschooled, she not only socailizes with children her own age (in church groups, dance, taekwondo, learning cooperatives etc.), but she is also able to communicate very well with older children, adults and younger children. She is profiting greatly from her homeschooling experience. My daughter is not lacking in socialization, and she is asthma-free.

I am not an uneducated person. I have worked in the child-care profession for years.Having 2 adult children and a grandchild, I am fully aware that the government mandates an education for all children. Anyone who owns a home and pays property or real estate taxes is also aware that public education is not  free. Public Education is funded by the taxes we pay.

I do know how to communicate with teachers and para educators concerning the needs of my children. 

Ultimately It is the responsibility of the parents to choose the educational plan that suits their own children. 

I question how you would have been advanced a grade during elementary school, yet  missed the fundamentals of math in that grade. Obviously, the school you attended committed a great injustice.   As a parent of a homeschooled child, I can assure that what happened to you, will not happen to my daughter. I am directly involved in my child's education and know exactly what she has mastered and what she needs more work on.

The laws vary by state. The state I am in places no restrictions on homeschooling. We are required to take state achievement tests at grades 3 and 8. We are also required to register with the state as a private school.

You may  be naive in believing that all parents of homeschoolers are uneducated persons.

We are qualified to teach our children. Even if we weren't  educated past a high school level(but most of us have been), we would still be qualified to teach our children. It isn't too difficult to teach someone what you have already learned.   If however, a parent has difficulty teaching a particular subject to their homeschooled child, the homeschool group that we are members of, does consist of  educated people who can tutor.

So to answer your question, it would be like a mom who cares for her own child which has a cold or the flu, or a cut on the knee. Mom can do that without taking the child to a physician. However, if the child has something the mom is not familiar with, she would take her child to see a physicain.