I am married 28 years! I recently was disable from an injury from work, after 23 years of working. my injury occurred in 2002 and I had all this time to evaluate myself and my relationship. After getting myself together, I went back to college to get my AA and take on line classes since I have a low back injury. You would think my husband would support me. I am no angel back then, I have debt way over my means. Yes he did help me with my credit cards and I managed to get them back to debt again. He wanted to divorce me from the debt back in 1999, but he wanted to keep me as a " roommate"? But some way we reconciled, bad mistake. I admitted I had a credit card problem and I stop using them, but also the disability checks started getting smaller which really help me get a reality check with debt, they are now in arrears. I had my car repossessed because I couldn't make the payment. You think he was there for me, HELL NO! I lost everything in my credit wise. He does pay all the other bills, like the mortgage and ulitilities but I think it's because his father lives with us and the kids that why I think he pays everything! I am disabled permanently in my back and haven't got any help in relief so it could be awhile for me to get back to work. But meantime I have continue to go to college, with my on line classes. I had a class on relationships and this professor gave me a big awakening and what you should have in a relationship in order for it to survive in the marriage world. You either grow and continue the connection or you grow together and the connection is stronger.In this whole time I had to think about my life, and think how unhappy I have been. I finally told him that I do not want to be married to him any more. I seen so much how we are unconnected and how independent I am and how the problems of my credit cards was the emothional needs I was missing in the relationship. I had a man who never bought me nothing if he did, he wanted to make sure he got something that was in the same price range or he just did not want the gift. He is controlling, bully, and manipulate towards me. and his kids, if they dont do petty things with him he punishes them and gives them no money or no food if he is buying fast foo and we have to settle for house food. If anyone knows what you call a husband who is always holding his crotch and thinks" I am going to give "him" oral sex, and does not acknowledge he or we have a problem or connection, please help me analysis this man. What is wrong with him. I tell him to his face I am done with him if he doesn't go to a therapist for our relationship, but he constantly degrades me. He thinks he is so perfect, right and does no wrong.
But I finally had empowered myself to stand up and say to him I don't want to be married at all. I have children and when they are gone I am so gone too. My last child is a senior in high school, and I only have my dogs who need me and I am so gone if he doesn't get help. I live in the house and have my own bedroom, I feel so relaxed and not having him in the same room. I remember Dr. Phil stated if you are ready for divorce, you can walk out the front door and have no regrets, oh I am so ready, but let me just get my dogs and I am gone!
I appreciate any advice!
