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I think board and care home situation might be an alternative that should be looked into for this little girl.  Even short term to try out whether a more structure environment brings out better control of her behavior.  This would also give mom time center herself so she feels good about being a mom again.  This is not like a foster home where social workers are in charge Mom would be able to say how much time she spend and how she wants to spend that time.  She would still retain full custody but get some much needed help.   

There are some great board and care homes that provide ridged structure and if chosen correctly I think this little girl would thrive. 

Step back and pick your 5 worst moments as a parent over the last year and think, if that is what people saw of you, how you would look as a parent?  

Consider what it feels like to have total strangers sit in judgment of you based on 30 second clips of your worst parenting moments. 

Well if your talking about taking 5 year olds to photo studios and spending $500 on glamor shots as being a normal thing to do your not living on the same planet as me.  I have never seen photos where they completely airbrush out the contours of the face like this one.   

This poor little girl must have a very odd sense of herself if this is considered to make her look pretty.  When she looks in a mirror with out the makeup and airbrushing what does she think of herself?   

If I dressed a 5 year old boy up with make up and heals would that be ok too?   

We are talking about apprentice human beings here.  How can we expect kids being taught that vanity is so important turn into caring compassionate human beings? 

I think if mom want to play with dolls then let them but they should not treat their children like fashion dolls. 

"Now I can not be like them" 

Being loud and outgoing is a behavior that you can control.  Self control and being reserved is considered polite in some circles and when you are with them you should act accordingly.  Just because you act like you’re at a football game around your family does not mean you can't use self control elsewhere. 

It is a serious cop out just saying you have no self control.

The only thing spanking or any negative physical contact does is get the kids attention.  This will lose its effectiveness if used too often and probably not necessary for most kids. 

Discipline always leaves kids empowered to do better next time otherwise it is just parents blowing off steam.  A parent has to approach the situation in a calm and composed manor or discipline does not happen.  Many parents forget the discipline all together as soon as they have the kid’s attention and have blown off steam they move on.  This is why so many kids are out of control these days.  There are lots of completely undisciplined kids that get hit and yelled at on a daily or weekly basis.

Do I ever hit or yell at my kids?  Yes. 

Do I do it weekly?  No

Do I do it monthly?  No

Do I do it yearly?  Probably but, hoping to do better.

It would be nice to go a whole year and approach every problem calm and composed and objectively.  This is my goal.  I have not reached it yet but I do better every year.  As my kids get older they give me a bit more personal space and it is just easier.  I can do it at work but at home it is much harder.  Probably because my relationships at work are not as intense.  I cannot just leave the house when I’m angry (single parent kids too young).  I do go on timeouts at least weekly.  It works better for me to go on timeout then my kids.  Of course it would help a get deal if my kids would not ignore me when I’m calm and composed.  I just have to get better at following through while in a calm composed state but then again when they know I'm angry they stop and stand at attention.  I guess I have to figure out how to make my kids understand I'm at the limit while in a calm composed state. 

I guess that is a question for the good DR.  How do you get your kids attention and have them understand they have pushed the limits while you are calm and composed? 

You can’t blame the evil step kids; the bottom line is the parent sets the tone for the relationship.  If kids are walking all over the stepparent then the parent is 100% responsible.  Stepparents cannot enforce rules or enforce discipline that is the parent's responsibility.   A parent who will not ensure their kid's treat their stepparent with respect is doomed to repeat another failed marriage.  Any parent who brings in a stepparent in to their kids lives has to accept responsibility for ensuring that both the kids and stepparent are capable of handling the changes to their lives.  

I don't know why people remarry when they have teens anyway.  Why not wait until the kids move out? 

And who has time to date and fall in love if they are focused on raising kids anyway?