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September 9, 2005, 12:34 pm PDT
I have been in a relationship like this...
Quote From: killdoze1Well, I've haven't done much of this message board stuff in the past and I'm not quite sure on how to get started, so I'll just throw my question out there. I am currently in a serious, monogomous relationship with someone who couldn't be better for me (let's call him Lou). He has all the qualities I want in a guy (funny, caring, sensitive successful, handsome, just to name a few) and doesn't have any that I don't (he doesn't smoke or drink, isn't religious, feels the same way about children, etc.). I started dating Lou as my first serious relationship was disintigrating; at the time, I thought he would be the "rebound" guy, but I found that we have so much in common, I feel so happy when I think about us being together, and I very much look forward to spending time with him.
My question is this...sometimes I wonder whether or not what I feel is "true love." I've heard some people say that if it's right, you just know it; others say that's a load of bull and that no relationship is like the fairy tales. However, I worry sometimes that because I have to wonder about how I feel, that it's not the right thing after all. On the other hand, the idea of not being with Lou makes me very sad and lonely. We have been touching upon the subject of engagement rings and I worry that we may be jumping into things too fast (our 1 year anniversary is in mid-October). I also worry that if we do get engaged, I would feel like we HAD to stay together. Do you see my dilemma? All this back and forth is driving me crazy!
What I am most wondering is whether or not anyone else has felt/feels this way. If so, how did the relationship turn out? Was/is it successful? I suppose I'm looking for encouragement, but what I really want are people's honest and open opinions and comments about past and/or present relationships. Any advice you could offer is greatly appreciated. I think that going over things in my head is partly contributing to my severe anxiousness and that a different outlook on things will be a huge help. Thanks very much to anyone who replies!! If you are second guessing yourself, that's not a good sign. If you truly, truly loved this man, you would know it and not think twice. Ask yourself, would you die for this man? I was with this guy and I thought I was all in love with him. He asked me one day if I would die for him and I told him yes. When I ask him if he would die for me, he said no. One minute he said he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, the next minute he was breaking up with me. I was stupid and kept taking him back. If you have to talk yourself into getting engaged or getting married, then it's probably not a good idea. At least not right now. Tell him to wait on getting engaged if you are not sure this is what you want. Engagement means that you are planning on getting married, and usually soon. So if you are not feeling those types of feelings, I would wait. I have been with my current boyfriend for two years now and we have a one year old daughter together. When I first got pregnant I didn't know if this was going to work. We were together for only 2 months. Well 2 years later we are still together and I love him with all of my heart and I know there isn't another man I would rather be with. I'm 25 years old and I'm ready to settle down and I have found the perfect person. I thought a couple of my ex's were "the one", but I'm so glad I never married before. They weren't into me or I wasn't into them. Give yourself time. Do you feel lonely because you are alone or do you feel lonely cause you are not with Lou? There is a difference.
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