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April 26, 2007, 2:11 pm PDT
It's not just a matter of "deciding"
I have been in shoes similer to hers. You can make up your mind, scheme, threaten, decide and determine all you want. However, when a person is victimized and dehumanized in such grand scale, the inner damage goes deeper than the conscious mind will admit. Her trap was set and the door, at the moment is closed.
In my estimation, one of two things needs to happen.
First, they can try to change the behaviors of her husband and at the same time try to reestablish her self esteem. This has failed 4 times alread.
Second, someone can step up and offer a safe place for her and her children to be while they ALL receive support on ALL levels and she can regain her independence and learn to live as a single parent.
Having no personal resources, until someone steps up and (to use the term loosely) sponsors her and helps her gain power in all her life areas and start healing, she's still stuck and more vulnerable than before because now, the cards are all on the table. Now, he knows he has been exposed and feels threatened. The violence most likely will increase.
Legal and psychological intervention needs to happen BEFORE they leave that staging area and she needs to be (with her children) taken to a safe house if she wants the help in the first place. Been there, done that and bought the t-shirt.
Now, the kids are in danger just as much as their mom.
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