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Messages By: wings4vr

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December 26, 2005, 8:01 pm CST

childhood abuse

Childhood abuse ruined my life. I was sexually abused by my brother in law, step father and my mother.  It made me hate sex, and allowed me to freeze up when boys tried to "use" me in high school. I spent a life time being attracted to "bad boys", until I finally married a man who is very emotionally controlling. My husband of 20 years, has had affairs, been verbally abusive and then when I caught him he begged for forgiveness and has tried to "change".  I still feel so depressed. I hate it. I have two beautiful children. I want to be happy for them, so I go through the motions. BUT..I've developed all kinds of fears and phobias. I have been going to therapy for 4 years, but I still continue to have these fears and phobias. Therapy does allow me to vent and feel better for a few days. I am so use to bad things happening, that I always feel like something is about to happen. I hate leaving my house for anything other than work, and I often feel like I can't breathe. I have asthma and am on meds, but my therapist and my doctor both say it would be better if I could just stay calm. I don't want to take medicines and become a zombie, so I find myself talking to myself, so I can calm down. The last time my husband had an affair it really destroyed me. Just as I was starting to calm down, he was diagnosed with cancer. He had surgery and they believe he is cancer free right now, but I stillnever recovered from the affair. Anyone else have these problems?
 
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January 1, 2007, 8:41 pm CST

dontdatehim

 

  I have been cheated on in the past.  However, I would never post the guy's picture on the internet.  Once it's on there, it's for good. I think Ms. Tasha, should not allow them to post pictures or last names.  Everyone makes mistakes in life. EVERY ONE!  I'm sure a lot of people who make those posts, have done things in their own lives that they wouldn't want aired on the internet. Before posting anything, think of how you would feel if someone wrote something about you.

 
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April 26, 2007, 9:12 pm CDT

Excuse me

Quote From: mruiz89

The only reason Jennifer hooked up with Jeff was because she saw a good outcome for herself (MONEY) Hey if she wanted that she should have expected Jeff to want something in return, not just to pamper her and then have her sleep with other men.
Excuse me....are you serious. First of all, you don't even know Jennifer so how can you say she just wanted money? Secondly, even if that were the case, who the hell is Jeff to torture her like he is, physically and mentally. NO ONE DESERVES THAT KIND OF TREATMENT. NO ONE AT ALL!!
 
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April 27, 2007, 10:13 pm CDT

Jennifer needs Help

This obsessive love story is so upsetting. I understand why Dr. Phil wants Jennifer to step down until jeff gets into the therapy program. However...She needs to not change her mind. She still needs to get the heck out of there. That guy is dangerous. Also, it looks like all the love has gone out of that marriage. Dr. Phil should also make sure Jennifer isn't weakening because she is codependent and weak. If she gives in and stays after he comes out of rehab, it will probably be only a matter of time before he freaks out again. Next time maybe worse. She desperately needs an intervention herself. She needs encouragement to stay strong and know she will have help. It's scarey to be on your own with three kids. She is so use to the abuse, she doesn't know any better. Dr. Phil still needs to get her out of there. The children will be happier and safer in the long run.
 
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April 27, 2007, 10:15 pm CDT

agreed

Quote From: shrmn8r

For any of you who justify what Jeffrey did to her is just as bad as he is in their own sick way.

 

What she did did not deserve this.  What she did MAY have resulted from his behavior and not the other way around.  What she did is not the topic of this show.  What she did did not MAKE him crazy -- he went there on speed-dial all by himself.  What she did may have been a cry for help OR an attempt at getting him to agree to a divorce, which he won't willingly give her.

 

For you to further berate a mentally abused woman who has put up with this for 10 years from him, shame on you.  You have issues of your own, in my opinion.

I completely agree with what you are saying. No one should be putting Jennifer down. No one deserves to be treated that way.  She is just weak and beaten down because of his behavior. He has conditioned her to feel this way. She needs to get out of there before it's too late.
 
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April 27, 2007, 10:18 pm CDT

don't belittle the victim

Quote From: chachamom

He did address the cheating.  He just didn't beat her over the head with it like you want to.  You want to blame the victim.
Yes it was wrong for her to cheat. BUT...leave her alone. That guy didn't just suddenly decide to become OCD and crazy. He had to have been that way for a long time. Maybe the cheating made his behavior worse, but basically the behavior was there to begin with. Such a sad and scarey situation.
 
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September 16, 2007, 8:25 am CDT

James and obedience

O.k...I'm seriously infuriated. James needs a "personality overhaul".  Culture is one thing, but he sounds like a complete control freak who could possible escalate into severe violence. I would bet at some point he has probably already hit her. Dr. Phil, if that lady is smart, she'll take the walking papers. This is the United States of America. Everyone has equal oppotunity. Why on earthh would that woman want to be a prisoner in her own environment?
 
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September 16, 2007, 8:35 am CDT

Age difference

Age difference is a huge deal!  At 38 years old, she definately should not be dating an 18 year old. I have an 18 year old. At that age they can barely make decisions for themselves. They're learning how to become an adult.  If this person is 38 and wanting an 18 year old, she needs therapy instead. Find someone her own age or within a few years difference. Not a 20 years difference. It's not only damaging to the 18 year old, but to her children as well. They will lose the "respect factor" for their mother. "Oh yea, mom's doing it with my friend." Yuck...how gross is that? It's very sad that people stoop to this. Perhaps the 38 year old is having a mid-life crisis, which of course is a whole other show.

 

Christopher Knight set a bad example by marrying the girl from Sureal Life.  On top of that, according to the show, they had many problems before walking down the isle. I realize many older men want a "trophy wife", but they definately aren't thinking past their waist.  My husband is 8 years older than me, and even we have issues because of the generation gap.  Wake up people!

 
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November 17, 2007, 3:35 pm CST

Daughter in Danger

It is so obvious that this man, Abdullah is controlling her. She looks terrified. I'll bet anything he coersed her there with all those false promises, then probably raped her first thing to make his claim on her. I wouldn't be suprised if she is brought back home and they find out she is pregnant. I think Dr. Phil's 6th sense is kicked in on this one. He knows she needs to come home.
 
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November 24, 2007, 2:49 pm CST

Abdullah

Dr. Phil: You are a very smart man.  I am sure you have sought out legal counsel on how to deal with Abdullah and his father. Seems to me his father helped a 16 year old "child" get out of the country. Is Abdullah that spoiled? "Dad, I want that American girl. Bring her to me." It sounds like that's what happened. The father had to know how old the girl was.

 

I would be very afraid if I were Katherine and her family. They should change all of their telephone numbers, screen names etc. Get a restraining order against Abdullah and any member of his family. Katherine should have rigorous counseling. It will take  long time for her to get over this...if ever. It takes a long time for a rape victim to get beyond what happened. I can't imagine what Katherine is feeling like after this ordeal.

 

Our children need to be educated in the schools regarding internet love affairs. We have health class, computer class, PE..why not a class on true internet safety?  I'd start one up for sure.

 

Dr. Phil...you are the greatest. Thanks for always bringing the most informative stories.

 

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