12/10 Closing The Gap
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9We as parents need to remember
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 09:44:24
what we were like as teens and how our parents handled it.
I don't get to see the show till 3p.m. but wanted to post my opinion
Children are always wanting to test the waters to see how far they can go.
When they are Teens it is nature to do this even more.
I have one child already out of the home,she tested big time.She left home at 14 years old,when we cameback to the states from Germany.However she went to live with a friend back in Germany,to finish school. This was a blessing and a haunt now as she ended up rebelling by not going back to school for a year and having a real good time.The parents of her friend weren't parents in that they were into themselves and just let the children take care of themselves. My daughter and I were astranged from each other for the rest of her teen years. Oh did I learn a lesson.
My younger two daughters(13 years and 8 years old)are being raised totally different. Maybe it is because we homeschool them and I have matured. Don't get me wrong my teen is going through the hormone thing,but we joke about it rather than fight. She will say something totally wrong and I will remind her who the adult is. If she really goofs up there are consequences,just like the younger one just age appropreate. My girls aren't allowed to date,or go hang out at the mall.
Teens still need the boundries,that are firm and set in stone.
Sorry I rambled I tend to do that,
Shari
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 09:44:24
what we were like as teens and how our parents handled it.
I don't get to see the show till 3p.m. but wanted to post my opinion
Children are always wanting to test the waters to see how far they can go.
When they are Teens it is nature to do this even more.
I have one child already out of the home,she tested big time.She left home at 14 years old,when we cameback to the states from Germany.However she went to live with a friend back in Germany,to finish school. This was a blessing and a haunt now as she ended up rebelling by not going back to school for a year and having a real good time.The parents of her friend weren't parents in that they were into themselves and just let the children take care of themselves. My daughter and I were astranged from each other for the rest of her teen years. Oh did I learn a lesson.
My younger two daughters(13 years and 8 years old)are being raised totally different. Maybe it is because we homeschool them and I have matured. Don't get me wrong my teen is going through the hormone thing,but we joke about it rather than fight. She will say something totally wrong and I will remind her who the adult is. If she really goofs up there are consequences,just like the younger one just age appropreate. My girls aren't allowed to date,or go hang out at the mall.
Teens still need the boundries,that are firm and set in stone.
Sorry I rambled I tend to do that,
Shari
For Shari55
Posted by: lilphilfan
Posted on: 2002-12-10 10:48:42
You are way to strict on your kids. Yeah, before you even say anything, I am a kid, and I know it. Me being only 16 May be a big deal to you especially when I am more in likely trying to tell you how to raise your kids, when I am just a kid myself. For One let them go to the Mall, just tell them where to meet you at in the mall, a reasonable time to meet, and if they are late then let them know there will be consequences. Yeah, your kid did leave, did you happen to think they left because you was to strict. Sorry to be so disrespectful, just being honest. Write me back if you want to. Bye for now.
Samantha.
Posted by: lilphilfan
Posted on: 2002-12-10 10:48:42
You are way to strict on your kids. Yeah, before you even say anything, I am a kid, and I know it. Me being only 16 May be a big deal to you especially when I am more in likely trying to tell you how to raise your kids, when I am just a kid myself. For One let them go to the Mall, just tell them where to meet you at in the mall, a reasonable time to meet, and if they are late then let them know there will be consequences. Yeah, your kid did leave, did you happen to think they left because you was to strict. Sorry to be so disrespectful, just being honest. Write me back if you want to. Bye for now.
Samantha.
For lilphilfan
Posted by: maggie372
Posted on: 2002-12-10 12:18:58
Sorry lilphilfan I'm going to back Shari55 on this one. I too have a 13 year old who desperately needs very secure strong boundaries. That's my job as a parent. We are friends, he is not abused in anyway but if I don't stand firm on my expectations how will he learn to have expectations for himself. I remember being a teenager and I hated it because I never knew what my parents expected of me. One day things were great and the very next day showing the same behavior I was in trouble. What's up with that?? You go Shari55. You're on the right track.
Maggie
Posted by: maggie372
Posted on: 2002-12-10 12:18:58
Sorry lilphilfan I'm going to back Shari55 on this one. I too have a 13 year old who desperately needs very secure strong boundaries. That's my job as a parent. We are friends, he is not abused in anyway but if I don't stand firm on my expectations how will he learn to have expectations for himself. I remember being a teenager and I hated it because I never knew what my parents expected of me. One day things were great and the very next day showing the same behavior I was in trouble. What's up with that?? You go Shari55. You're on the right track.
Maggie
To: lilphilfan
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-12-10 15:09:21
Lilphilfan? I don't think the name is good. Jay is an astute, bright, confident, person, who has a real grip on life and is a product of loving parents. He is standing on solid ground, and he is gifted with being understanding life and talented enough to seek answers for what he doesn't. I am his 52-year old fan. Have a nice day. Patsy
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-12-10 15:09:21
Lilphilfan? I don't think the name is good. Jay is an astute, bright, confident, person, who has a real grip on life and is a product of loving parents. He is standing on solid ground, and he is gifted with being understanding life and talented enough to seek answers for what he doesn't. I am his 52-year old fan. Have a nice day. Patsy
For Pasty Gal
Posted by: lilphilfan
Posted on: 2002-12-10 17:26:03
OK, I apologize for trying to go out on my opinion. My Mom is not strict with me at all, am I a bad teen?! No. So please do not be mean to me for trying to speak out on something I believe in. Oh, please do not crack on the name I made for this message board. Thank you. Even though my Mom and I have fights I still love her. I mean come on, she is own her own raising me. She raised my older Sister Mary, she's 27, has kids of her own, and so my Mom can raise kids. Have to go. Thanks your the time. Bye.
~ Samantha ~
Posted by: lilphilfan
Posted on: 2002-12-10 17:26:03
OK, I apologize for trying to go out on my opinion. My Mom is not strict with me at all, am I a bad teen?! No. So please do not be mean to me for trying to speak out on something I believe in. Oh, please do not crack on the name I made for this message board. Thank you. Even though my Mom and I have fights I still love her. I mean come on, she is own her own raising me. She raised my older Sister Mary, she's 27, has kids of her own, and so my Mom can raise kids. Have to go. Thanks your the time. Bye.
~ Samantha ~
Samantha......
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 18:27:49
You do have a good head on your shoulders.
It is a fact of life that everyone has their own way of raising Gods blessings. Your wonderful mother has her way because of her situation,as my husband and I have our way.
Shari
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 18:27:49
You do have a good head on your shoulders.
It is a fact of life that everyone has their own way of raising Gods blessings. Your wonderful mother has her way because of her situation,as my husband and I have our way.
Shari
Samantha
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-12-11 22:23:25
Hi Samantha, I am sorry if you thought I was being mean to you and I apologize if it came across as that. I admit that I have an issue with any person being considered an extension of another. I think everyone has a right to be their own person and not be little (name) or big (name) In retrospect, I resent having spent my life being referred to as (name's) daughter, (name's) wife, (Name's) mother, etc. Worse yet, I hate it when a person is referred to as the "wife," the "boy," "the girl," etc. I am sure you are a wonderful person, and a good daughter. Than you for letting me know so that I could apologize because you thought I was being mean with you. Patsy
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-12-11 22:23:25
Hi Samantha, I am sorry if you thought I was being mean to you and I apologize if it came across as that. I admit that I have an issue with any person being considered an extension of another. I think everyone has a right to be their own person and not be little (name) or big (name) In retrospect, I resent having spent my life being referred to as (name's) daughter, (name's) wife, (Name's) mother, etc. Worse yet, I hate it when a person is referred to as the "wife," the "boy," "the girl," etc. I am sure you are a wonderful person, and a good daughter. Than you for letting me know so that I could apologize because you thought I was being mean with you. Patsy
maggie372
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 15:41:28
Thank you maggie,I am doing right for my children and I don't backdown for anyone.
Shari
p.s. now if I could just spell
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 15:41:28
Thank you maggie,I am doing right for my children and I don't backdown for anyone.
Shari
p.s. now if I could just spell
ur not making it right, for your teen and for you
Posted by: jas4best
Posted on: 2005-06-23 21:19:28
i just have a look on your opinion. right now your teen may be in 16 or 17 but the fact i want to say is that parents do not understand that when they were teens thingd were not same as they are today. teens grow maturer faster and bring up their ability to make decisions. in todays world parents need to think about what exactly their children think .im not saying that parent shouldnt guide them , yes they should its their responsibility, but the fact is that teens need to experiance their life events which will be their life long memory. if they do it wrong they wont do it again. im just 15 and i think i sometimes know better how to handle things rather than my parents. thats because in these 15 years they were unable to understand how i think. my mother and father had beat me so much in my life , with belts , with sticks , with wipers but i didnt complained them infact i thank them because they did whatever they think is right 4 me but the mistake they mde was ha what do u think , i dont really care about my parents eight now.so the point is just let your teens make some decisions on their own and giude them , they will understand it .
Posted by: jas4best
Posted on: 2005-06-23 21:19:28
i just have a look on your opinion. right now your teen may be in 16 or 17 but the fact i want to say is that parents do not understand that when they were teens thingd were not same as they are today. teens grow maturer faster and bring up their ability to make decisions. in todays world parents need to think about what exactly their children think .im not saying that parent shouldnt guide them , yes they should its their responsibility, but the fact is that teens need to experiance their life events which will be their life long memory. if they do it wrong they wont do it again. im just 15 and i think i sometimes know better how to handle things rather than my parents. thats because in these 15 years they were unable to understand how i think. my mother and father had beat me so much in my life , with belts , with sticks , with wipers but i didnt complained them infact i thank them because they did whatever they think is right 4 me but the mistake they mde was ha what do u think , i dont really care about my parents eight now.so the point is just let your teens make some decisions on their own and giude them , they will understand it .
DEAR SAMANTHA
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-12-10 13:40:07
You are a kid -16. You hopefully will become a parent someday.
No two people are alike. That's what makes this world the way it is-there is no one else like you. They broke the mold.
Your idea of the mall is what my dad did with us and it was great- 25+ years ago and today cellphones could be "the meeting place" since malls are so Huge! It worked for us. As far as leaving home, I even ran away, my parents were strict. It's really,"The Communication Gap", verbal and non-verbal. We didn't have much verbal communication in our house. It was "my way or the highway". You've got a good head on your shoulders for 16. Keep it that way.Love your kids enough to "listen" to them not just hear them. They might have an idea just as good as yours. There is more way to skin a cat. I learned this from my son by "listening" to him.
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-12-10 13:40:07
You are a kid -16. You hopefully will become a parent someday.
No two people are alike. That's what makes this world the way it is-there is no one else like you. They broke the mold.
Your idea of the mall is what my dad did with us and it was great- 25+ years ago and today cellphones could be "the meeting place" since malls are so Huge! It worked for us. As far as leaving home, I even ran away, my parents were strict. It's really,"The Communication Gap", verbal and non-verbal. We didn't have much verbal communication in our house. It was "my way or the highway". You've got a good head on your shoulders for 16. Keep it that way.Love your kids enough to "listen" to them not just hear them. They might have an idea just as good as yours. There is more way to skin a cat. I learned this from my son by "listening" to him.
For Milmarz
Posted by: lilphilfan
Posted on: 2002-12-10 17:35:22
Hello. Thanks for your very kind posting. It made me happy someone was on my side for Once. Thank you for saying I have a good head on my shoulder. My Mom and I communicate, just not much. So, when we do I try to be as talkative as I can be. When I have my own kids I plan to treat them well, anyway, if your to strict with your kids you'll have a chance of them hating you. I know that because my Aunt Evelyn was really physically abusive to her daughter Michelle when she was younger. Today Michelle is 15, runs away, does drugs, keeps going foster to foster home, and wants nothing to do with her Mom. That's how I know what being to mean to your kids can do. My Mom is an awesome Mom, I thank God everyday I have her. Now that my Dad passed away December 3, 2002, her and I are closer. My dad was only 48 like my Mom. He passed away from a horrible Diabetic Attack. Him and I was not that close, but I loved him, you never know what you have until it's gone. My advice for that Ashley girl on Phil's show today is to let her Step Dad Steve love her, and she needs to cherish him, Once he is gone he's gone, and that's it No Second chance. Have a good day. If you ever want to E-mail me than E-mail me at DaddyzAngelz2717@aol.com Have a Terrific Day. Bye.
~ Samantha ~
Posted by: lilphilfan
Posted on: 2002-12-10 17:35:22
Hello. Thanks for your very kind posting. It made me happy someone was on my side for Once. Thank you for saying I have a good head on my shoulder. My Mom and I communicate, just not much. So, when we do I try to be as talkative as I can be. When I have my own kids I plan to treat them well, anyway, if your to strict with your kids you'll have a chance of them hating you. I know that because my Aunt Evelyn was really physically abusive to her daughter Michelle when she was younger. Today Michelle is 15, runs away, does drugs, keeps going foster to foster home, and wants nothing to do with her Mom. That's how I know what being to mean to your kids can do. My Mom is an awesome Mom, I thank God everyday I have her. Now that my Dad passed away December 3, 2002, her and I are closer. My dad was only 48 like my Mom. He passed away from a horrible Diabetic Attack. Him and I was not that close, but I loved him, you never know what you have until it's gone. My advice for that Ashley girl on Phil's show today is to let her Step Dad Steve love her, and she needs to cherish him, Once he is gone he's gone, and that's it No Second chance. Have a good day. If you ever want to E-mail me than E-mail me at DaddyzAngelz2717@aol.com Have a Terrific Day. Bye.
~ Samantha ~
For lilphilfan
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 14:58:11
My oldest daughter left because we moved to Chicago right after DesertStorm and she was tired of being searched all the time.She didn't leave because I was too strict..with her I was the opposite way too easy with her.
Now my 13 year old daughter wants to respond to you,
Hi now I may be just 13 but I happen to know a bit about todays new age Discipline so hear me out please....
Ok now I want to let you know that I Have never Thought my Mother was to Strict with me or my younger sister. Many children don't have parents who care and therefore have no Discipline and most(not all of them) End up Dead, In jail or on drugs. All children need to have an Idea of who they must respect. And as my Mom said My older Sister Didn't leave because my Mom was Strict, she left because she was going though a hard time in her life and felt she didn't belong, BUT she also never said a bad thing about My mom either. she is who she is today because my mom made sure that she knew who to respect and that was because she Was disciplined when she was younger. You can't just yell a child because after a while to fear of getting yelled at wears off and the child will think.. Gee I get yelled at and then I get to go out... Or you can't just ground a child either. You have to set guide lines and if they aren't followed you have to do what you have to make sure that it won't happen again.
where we lived and still live the mall we would go to isn't safe to just wander around in even if a parent is th
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 14:58:11
My oldest daughter left because we moved to Chicago right after DesertStorm and she was tired of being searched all the time.She didn't leave because I was too strict..with her I was the opposite way too easy with her.
Now my 13 year old daughter wants to respond to you,
Hi now I may be just 13 but I happen to know a bit about todays new age Discipline so hear me out please....
Ok now I want to let you know that I Have never Thought my Mother was to Strict with me or my younger sister. Many children don't have parents who care and therefore have no Discipline and most(not all of them) End up Dead, In jail or on drugs. All children need to have an Idea of who they must respect. And as my Mom said My older Sister Didn't leave because my Mom was Strict, she left because she was going though a hard time in her life and felt she didn't belong, BUT she also never said a bad thing about My mom either. she is who she is today because my mom made sure that she knew who to respect and that was because she Was disciplined when she was younger. You can't just yell a child because after a while to fear of getting yelled at wears off and the child will think.. Gee I get yelled at and then I get to go out... Or you can't just ground a child either. You have to set guide lines and if they aren't followed you have to do what you have to make sure that it won't happen again.
where we lived and still live the mall we would go to isn't safe to just wander around in even if a parent is th
Ahhhh she loves me:)
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 15:55:37
See not all teens hate their parents all the time...
As she was saying "even if a parent is there".She got frustrated with the limited characters.
When I yell at her....and she goes out it is to a friend's after a day or so.
Also my 8 year old daughter is not allowed at a mall by herself..nor is my older daughter..it is a safety issue.
Shari
Posted by: shari55
Posted on: 2002-12-10 15:55:37
See not all teens hate their parents all the time...
As she was saying "even if a parent is there".She got frustrated with the limited characters.
When I yell at her....and she goes out it is to a friend's after a day or so.
Also my 8 year old daughter is not allowed at a mall by herself..nor is my older daughter..it is a safety issue.
Shari
for lilphilfan
Posted by: luvs2laf
Posted on: 2002-12-11 16:13:44
Sorry kiddo, I agree with Shari too. I am a mom of 2 kids, a 14 yo daughter, and 11 yo son. I am a strict parent, and at times my kids try to push the limit, but then, I remind them of some of their friends, who do not have strict parents. Those are the ones you see running around late at night, getting their names in the paper for underage drinking, and two of them even experimented with drugs, with one ending up needing medical treatment. I would rather that my children, at times, think that they hate me for being strict, than let them have little to no boundries. When I was a teen, I had strict parents myself, and often hated it. Now that my parents are gone, I wish that I had taken the time to thank them for the way they raised me. I am a good parent, and my children know that I love them. If I didnt love them, they would have no boundries or discipline. Sometimes, the hardest thing about being a parent, is having to say no, if for no other reason, but the fact that you just have a bad feeling about it.
Theresa
Posted by: luvs2laf
Posted on: 2002-12-11 16:13:44
Sorry kiddo, I agree with Shari too. I am a mom of 2 kids, a 14 yo daughter, and 11 yo son. I am a strict parent, and at times my kids try to push the limit, but then, I remind them of some of their friends, who do not have strict parents. Those are the ones you see running around late at night, getting their names in the paper for underage drinking, and two of them even experimented with drugs, with one ending up needing medical treatment. I would rather that my children, at times, think that they hate me for being strict, than let them have little to no boundries. When I was a teen, I had strict parents myself, and often hated it. Now that my parents are gone, I wish that I had taken the time to thank them for the way they raised me. I am a good parent, and my children know that I love them. If I didnt love them, they would have no boundries or discipline. Sometimes, the hardest thing about being a parent, is having to say no, if for no other reason, but the fact that you just have a bad feeling about it.
Theresa
FOR LUVSTOLAF
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-12-18 17:18:06
Question: I had epilepsy (not controlled) when my 2 children were born? After 7 yrs. of doc not listening to what I considered overmedication (he asked if I felt drugged-I was of the '60's and didn't do drugs so never said drugged, always overmedicated). Finally got new doc who understood and got me regulated, then came down with rheumatoid arthritis and couldn't even move because of the excruciating pain-this when the boys were in 4th and 7th grade. Pray tell, how does one think straight with the medication (dizzying and unco-ordinated it makes you, can't think straight), how does one take charge of discipline of children. Father would just say don't bother your mother and he'd go hunting alot leaving me alone. How does one take charge of children between the seizures and inability to move with RA?
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-12-18 17:18:06
Question: I had epilepsy (not controlled) when my 2 children were born? After 7 yrs. of doc not listening to what I considered overmedication (he asked if I felt drugged-I was of the '60's and didn't do drugs so never said drugged, always overmedicated). Finally got new doc who understood and got me regulated, then came down with rheumatoid arthritis and couldn't even move because of the excruciating pain-this when the boys were in 4th and 7th grade. Pray tell, how does one think straight with the medication (dizzying and unco-ordinated it makes you, can't think straight), how does one take charge of discipline of children. Father would just say don't bother your mother and he'd go hunting alot leaving me alone. How does one take charge of children between the seizures and inability to move with RA?
Go Sam
Posted by: kelley_16
Posted on: 2003-05-05 20:24:31
I'm 16years old too. I have a boyfriend of 24 (dating for 4months)and my parents will not let me go on a camping trip with my boyfriend. I'm an average teenager trying to finish high school as good as I can. Half the time I don't know what my parents expect of me at all. Me and my mother get in to fights a lot about stuff we don't agree on. I was straight forward with her about every thing and any thing. I even told her straight forward that we would not be having sex or getting engaged for at least another 4years. Still my mother gave my boyfriend the cold should and makes me feel like I can't do a thing right. My boyfriend has amazingly put up with me being stressed out and plan old don't know what to do and has helped me more then any one else in my life. My parents even at a young age made me always feel like I was in jail. It was always straight home from school and then bed time was 8:30pm every night. Even when I started high school. Then finally my uncle helped me out a little and had my bed time changed. I love my parents don't get me wrong and I'm a good kid that doesn't talk back but I'm fed up with being in "Jail". I've helped them out with house work and other things that they need help on but don't know how I'll ever have them trust me and my boyfriend enough to let us go on this camping trip this summer?!?!
Posted by: kelley_16
Posted on: 2003-05-05 20:24:31
I'm 16years old too. I have a boyfriend of 24 (dating for 4months)and my parents will not let me go on a camping trip with my boyfriend. I'm an average teenager trying to finish high school as good as I can. Half the time I don't know what my parents expect of me at all. Me and my mother get in to fights a lot about stuff we don't agree on. I was straight forward with her about every thing and any thing. I even told her straight forward that we would not be having sex or getting engaged for at least another 4years. Still my mother gave my boyfriend the cold should and makes me feel like I can't do a thing right. My boyfriend has amazingly put up with me being stressed out and plan old don't know what to do and has helped me more then any one else in my life. My parents even at a young age made me always feel like I was in jail. It was always straight home from school and then bed time was 8:30pm every night. Even when I started high school. Then finally my uncle helped me out a little and had my bed time changed. I love my parents don't get me wrong and I'm a good kid that doesn't talk back but I'm fed up with being in "Jail". I've helped them out with house work and other things that they need help on but don't know how I'll ever have them trust me and my boyfriend enough to let us go on this camping trip this summer?!?!
I can relate....
Posted by: aubija2
Posted on: 2004-11-13 09:22:16
Samantha,
I agree parents can be too strict at times. When I look back at my childhood/teen years and all the turmoil I had to deal with from my parents. However..you as a teen need to remember times are different now. Your parents childhood had different elements to be afraid of. Now days, there's severe psychos out there that prey on teens, both girls and boys. There's the whole terrorist situation and never knowing what could happen. I know what your thinking...can't live on the could happens...but regardless this is just an example of a parents thinking. I use to work at a counseling facility that specialized in Parole Sex Offenders and I will tell you..you have no idea who they are. They are in all forms and you'd never know them. Today's society has become soooo violent. Just as every generation it escalates to a new ridiculous level. Basically....my main point is to give you a little inside to the way your parents may feel. (Not to mention a teens behavior does play a big part in what they are allowed to do and i think you know that.) If your parents are looking out for you closely...try to look at it as how much they care for you and don't want to see anything happen to you. I promise...one day you'll look back and understand some of reasons for your parents rules... Take care and God Bless.
Rachel
Posted by: aubija2
Posted on: 2004-11-13 09:22:16
Samantha,
I agree parents can be too strict at times. When I look back at my childhood/teen years and all the turmoil I had to deal with from my parents. However..you as a teen need to remember times are different now. Your parents childhood had different elements to be afraid of. Now days, there's severe psychos out there that prey on teens, both girls and boys. There's the whole terrorist situation and never knowing what could happen. I know what your thinking...can't live on the could happens...but regardless this is just an example of a parents thinking. I use to work at a counseling facility that specialized in Parole Sex Offenders and I will tell you..you have no idea who they are. They are in all forms and you'd never know them. Today's society has become soooo violent. Just as every generation it escalates to a new ridiculous level. Basically....my main point is to give you a little inside to the way your parents may feel. (Not to mention a teens behavior does play a big part in what they are allowed to do and i think you know that.) If your parents are looking out for you closely...try to look at it as how much they care for you and don't want to see anything happen to you. I promise...one day you'll look back and understand some of reasons for your parents rules... Take care and God Bless.
Rachel
To shari55
Posted by: jayspin
Posted on: 2002-12-10 13:32:49
Hi, I don't think you rambled at all. I think you learned from the mistakes with your first child. If we don't learn, what's the point? As for not letting your other kids hang out at the mall or date, that's fine, too. Hanging out at the young ages of 13 and 8 without supervision is just asking for trouble. I know whereof I speak. My oldest son is 31...I was a young mom when he was a teenager and I trusted him way too much. Either that, or I was just too overwhelmed with my responsibilities with his younger sister and brother to realize what he was up to. And what he was up to was drinking, drugs, rebelling, not doing his schoolwork...and he was good at lying!! He was a challenge, and I failed as a mom, and his step-dad failed, too. But, we learned. Now, he is OK, but had many years of troublesome behavior; but now, I'm rambling. My daughter who is now 27 and a mom of 2, was not allowed to dress like a tramp or hang-out on the streets. MY younger son who is 22 had the benefit of two older and wiser parents and saw the mistakes his older brother made. He's been respectful of us because that's what we commanded. And we respected him in return. Anyway, keep an eye on your girls, a close one, and don't succumb to the pressures of letting them get away with what you KNOW in your heart is morally wrong. You'll all be winners in the end. Been there, and survived!! jayspin
Posted by: jayspin
Posted on: 2002-12-10 13:32:49
Hi, I don't think you rambled at all. I think you learned from the mistakes with your first child. If we don't learn, what's the point? As for not letting your other kids hang out at the mall or date, that's fine, too. Hanging out at the young ages of 13 and 8 without supervision is just asking for trouble. I know whereof I speak. My oldest son is 31...I was a young mom when he was a teenager and I trusted him way too much. Either that, or I was just too overwhelmed with my responsibilities with his younger sister and brother to realize what he was up to. And what he was up to was drinking, drugs, rebelling, not doing his schoolwork...and he was good at lying!! He was a challenge, and I failed as a mom, and his step-dad failed, too. But, we learned. Now, he is OK, but had many years of troublesome behavior; but now, I'm rambling. My daughter who is now 27 and a mom of 2, was not allowed to dress like a tramp or hang-out on the streets. MY younger son who is 22 had the benefit of two older and wiser parents and saw the mistakes his older brother made. He's been respectful of us because that's what we commanded. And we respected him in return. Anyway, keep an eye on your girls, a close one, and don't succumb to the pressures of letting them get away with what you KNOW in your heart is morally wrong. You'll all be winners in the end. Been there, and survived!! jayspin
IT'S SAD
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-12-10 13:48:37
Why do parents, me included, have to test parenting skills on the firstborn? Stupid question, BECAUSE public, private and other schools don't teach HOW TO BE A PARENT. We firstborns break the way for the younger but carry the hurts with us all our lives. Can parenting be taught or is it just caught? I hear there are classes on parenting for teen mothers. Where are they for the rest of the unmarrieds/marrieds? Will we ever have a "perfect" family? I think not, til the Lord comes. My son ran away now and then, not far, so did I. It comes with growing up process I believe. We need space at times.
Posted by: milmarz
Posted on: 2002-12-10 13:48:37
Why do parents, me included, have to test parenting skills on the firstborn? Stupid question, BECAUSE public, private and other schools don't teach HOW TO BE A PARENT. We firstborns break the way for the younger but carry the hurts with us all our lives. Can parenting be taught or is it just caught? I hear there are classes on parenting for teen mothers. Where are they for the rest of the unmarrieds/marrieds? Will we ever have a "perfect" family? I think not, til the Lord comes. My son ran away now and then, not far, so did I. It comes with growing up process I believe. We need space at times.
help is out there
Posted by: debbie4909
Posted on: 2002-12-10 16:24:18
To your comment about there are not parenting classes for the average parent....there are classes, you just have to know where to look for them. I just finished one (it was an excellant course) so I could learn more effective ways to communicate with & discipline my preschool kids. I found out about it through the public health nurse (not sure if they are called the same thing in the State, I'm in Canada). The nice thing was the class was free & they provided child care. I suggest you open the phone book & call around maybe your area has something similar, you wont regret it.
Posted by: debbie4909
Posted on: 2002-12-10 16:24:18
To your comment about there are not parenting classes for the average parent....there are classes, you just have to know where to look for them. I just finished one (it was an excellant course) so I could learn more effective ways to communicate with & discipline my preschool kids. I found out about it through the public health nurse (not sure if they are called the same thing in the State, I'm in Canada). The nice thing was the class was free & they provided child care. I suggest you open the phone book & call around maybe your area has something similar, you wont regret it.
