11/18 How Well Do You Know Your Kids?
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8Before the show
Posted by: loca36
Posted on: 2002-11-18 10:06:29
I think everyone would like to think they know exactly how their kids would react in any dangerous situation. The RIGHT way. I have been the mother of 2 girls for a while now. One 18 and the other 13. It is very hard to watch them walk out the door in the morning for school and wonder what is lurking around the corner waiting for them. They both think they could take on Superman and win. Becuase they wrestle with their 6'4" 280 lb. stepdad all the time they think they could kick any butt that comes along. The hard part is telling them he cares about their safety. He isn't going to bash them over the head to drag them away or win the wrestling match. I hope the show makes a reference to kids who think they are invincible.
Posted by: loca36
Posted on: 2002-11-18 10:06:29
I think everyone would like to think they know exactly how their kids would react in any dangerous situation. The RIGHT way. I have been the mother of 2 girls for a while now. One 18 and the other 13. It is very hard to watch them walk out the door in the morning for school and wonder what is lurking around the corner waiting for them. They both think they could take on Superman and win. Becuase they wrestle with their 6'4" 280 lb. stepdad all the time they think they could kick any butt that comes along. The hard part is telling them he cares about their safety. He isn't going to bash them over the head to drag them away or win the wrestling match. I hope the show makes a reference to kids who think they are invincible.
Mason's Parents
Posted by: thparent
Posted on: 2002-11-18 10:07:03
I was really shocked by Mason's mother conversation with Dr.Phil. She needs to be brought out of the closet about her son's behavior. I have a seven year old son. I know what type of child he is. If his teachers, family members or friends tell me something about his behavior, good or bad, I know my child's capabilities. He's an A/B student, but that does not make him the most perfect child I, like Mason's mom,would love for her child to be. Hitting Girls!!! That's a no-no! Was he not taught that? Please come out of the closet and GET REAL before it's too late.
Posted by: thparent
Posted on: 2002-11-18 10:07:03
I was really shocked by Mason's mother conversation with Dr.Phil. She needs to be brought out of the closet about her son's behavior. I have a seven year old son. I know what type of child he is. If his teachers, family members or friends tell me something about his behavior, good or bad, I know my child's capabilities. He's an A/B student, but that does not make him the most perfect child I, like Mason's mom,would love for her child to be. Hitting Girls!!! That's a no-no! Was he not taught that? Please come out of the closet and GET REAL before it's too late.
Hitting
Posted by: puzzleqt
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:10:48
Hitting ANYONE, boy/girl/adult in a non threatening situation is completely unacceptable. For some children this is a hard concept to master, and it is vitally important that the parents are aware, and be highly involved in training the child to use words, softness and gentleness. Every parent should take very seriously ANY report of violence about their children. Sometimes an allegation is untrue or the child had extreme provocation. This is still an excellent time to discuss, teach and model nonviolent alternatives. My son was in a car accident and suffered some mild brain damage that has affected his emotional control and impulse control and his language and processing centers. He is normally a very sweet, gentle, helpful loving child. Yet he has to work extra extra hard to manage his anger, frustration, and hurt feelings. Sometimes he really doesn't understand cause and effect appropriate for his age level. He is the target of harrasment at times and sometimes he is the one lashing out. Once at school he grabbed a smaller boy's arm, holding it tightly, because he got in my son's way. The smaller child hauled off and hit my son once, so he could get away. In my opinion this was a case of reasonable self protection. Though we did discus other options with both boys and better ways to handle such cercumstances in the future.
Posted by: puzzleqt
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:10:48
Hitting ANYONE, boy/girl/adult in a non threatening situation is completely unacceptable. For some children this is a hard concept to master, and it is vitally important that the parents are aware, and be highly involved in training the child to use words, softness and gentleness. Every parent should take very seriously ANY report of violence about their children. Sometimes an allegation is untrue or the child had extreme provocation. This is still an excellent time to discuss, teach and model nonviolent alternatives. My son was in a car accident and suffered some mild brain damage that has affected his emotional control and impulse control and his language and processing centers. He is normally a very sweet, gentle, helpful loving child. Yet he has to work extra extra hard to manage his anger, frustration, and hurt feelings. Sometimes he really doesn't understand cause and effect appropriate for his age level. He is the target of harrasment at times and sometimes he is the one lashing out. Once at school he grabbed a smaller boy's arm, holding it tightly, because he got in my son's way. The smaller child hauled off and hit my son once, so he could get away. In my opinion this was a case of reasonable self protection. Though we did discus other options with both boys and better ways to handle such cercumstances in the future.
teaching
Posted by: puzzleqt
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:37:50
Childhood is the time to teach the children, to help them learn better coping skills, and model peaceful positive conflict resolution. Rather than ignor it and simply teach the most violent, ruthless one wins. Which is what most media, and ads teach.
Unfortunately it takes 5 positives messages to balance a negative, and for some people it takes more. Our society constantly bombards us with negative and wrong messages. So we have to be even more dilligent in teaching, modeling and discussing right messages. And it is HARD work sometimes to do and to remember, when we are already stressed, tired, ourselves.
I see some parents tolerating their small children (toddlers/babies) intentionally hitting them (the parents). This upsets me, because it gives the baby false idea that hitting is ok, and desensitizes the parent, making it harder for the parent to stop the behavior further down the line when the child is older and can actually do more damage. When my children did hit me as babies, I first told them firmly "No, it is NOT ok to hit Mommy." then gently said "Be soft with Mommy, soft soft soft" took the baby's hand and modeled the soft touch I wanted, also stroked the baby softly several times. And I repeated the soft modeling several times with praise. I also made a point of catching the baby/toddler touching softly and praising the child often, and again modeling the behavior I wanted with my child in a very happy positive atmosephere. There have been times whe
Posted by: puzzleqt
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:37:50
Childhood is the time to teach the children, to help them learn better coping skills, and model peaceful positive conflict resolution. Rather than ignor it and simply teach the most violent, ruthless one wins. Which is what most media, and ads teach.
Unfortunately it takes 5 positives messages to balance a negative, and for some people it takes more. Our society constantly bombards us with negative and wrong messages. So we have to be even more dilligent in teaching, modeling and discussing right messages. And it is HARD work sometimes to do and to remember, when we are already stressed, tired, ourselves.
I see some parents tolerating their small children (toddlers/babies) intentionally hitting them (the parents). This upsets me, because it gives the baby false idea that hitting is ok, and desensitizes the parent, making it harder for the parent to stop the behavior further down the line when the child is older and can actually do more damage. When my children did hit me as babies, I first told them firmly "No, it is NOT ok to hit Mommy." then gently said "Be soft with Mommy, soft soft soft" took the baby's hand and modeled the soft touch I wanted, also stroked the baby softly several times. And I repeated the soft modeling several times with praise. I also made a point of catching the baby/toddler touching softly and praising the child often, and again modeling the behavior I wanted with my child in a very happy positive atmosephere. There have been times whe
hitting continued
Posted by: puzzleqt
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:49:46
There have been times when my children have lost their Mommy privilages, because they wouldn't stop hitting. Either they weren't allowed on my lap or to sit by me for a while or sometimes they had a time out.
When my children hit each other at home, over a game, show, words, whatever, we have conseqences. Some are they lose media privilages, a timeout, a simple apology and statement of an alternative appropriate behavior, often more chores, an essay, a letter of apology, and also the offender has to find 5 kind things to do for his brother as soon as possible and within the day or hour. (I loved this because it fosters the kind loving behavior I want, and makes them think of the other person.
On the other end of the spectrum, I catch them doing right often, let them know what I liked, praise them, and point out the extra privilages they get for helpful, obedient, responsible behavior. Things they "earn" because they are trustworthy and responsible.
I seriously think there would be much less violent crime if children were taught better when they were little.
Posted by: puzzleqt
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:49:46
There have been times when my children have lost their Mommy privilages, because they wouldn't stop hitting. Either they weren't allowed on my lap or to sit by me for a while or sometimes they had a time out.
When my children hit each other at home, over a game, show, words, whatever, we have conseqences. Some are they lose media privilages, a timeout, a simple apology and statement of an alternative appropriate behavior, often more chores, an essay, a letter of apology, and also the offender has to find 5 kind things to do for his brother as soon as possible and within the day or hour. (I loved this because it fosters the kind loving behavior I want, and makes them think of the other person.
On the other end of the spectrum, I catch them doing right often, let them know what I liked, praise them, and point out the extra privilages they get for helpful, obedient, responsible behavior. Things they "earn" because they are trustworthy and responsible.
I seriously think there would be much less violent crime if children were taught better when they were little.
Posted by: saoconnor
Posted on: 2002-11-18 19:03:53
Speaking as a mother as well as a professional that works daily with children that have behavioural and emotional difficulties, hooray to you! I spend my days teaching children and parents appropriate alternatives to aggression and I spend my evenings teaching my own children the same skills. The consequences that were mentioned are the very same that we encourage our clients to practice at home. It's nice to hear that there are parents out there following our recommendations. Parenting takes practice and patience, what works for one child may not work for another.
Posted by: saoconnor
Posted on: 2002-11-18 19:05:03
Speaking as a mother as well as a professional that works daily with children that have behavioural and emotional difficulties, hooray to you! I spend my days teaching children and parents appropriate alternatives to aggression and I spend my evenings teaching my own children the same skills. The consequences that were mentioned by puzzlegt are the very same that we encourage our clients to practice at home. It's nice to hear that there are parents out there following our recommendations. Parenting takes practice and patience, what works for one child may not work for another.
Hitting Back...
Posted by: piratesrun
Posted on: 2002-11-18 15:09:09
One of these days this kid will learn the lesson of not hitting when a bigger, stronger kid punches him back! He'll think twice before he ever hits another kid again...HAHAHA!! OY...All the psychology in the world wont fix what a good butt kicking will.
I have four children and they are well-behaved and basically good kids. Sure they drive me nuts sometimes, they rebel, they don’t want to listen or do their chores and even lie. But quite frankly that is a part of growing up that we, as parents must address consistently in order to break bad habits in behavior. Most parents ignore or make excuses for their kid’s behavior, then wonder why that “stage” there in, never seems to be grown out of. I see parents at the stores with kids screaming, throwing fits, throwing items, talking’ back and I can’t tell you how totally amazed I am that most parents are un phased and just let it go. My kid would be in the car, back home, and in his room in a New York minute!
Children are not only coddled WAY TOO much these days they are over protected by ignorant parents who DO NOT instill lessons that teach their children their are consequences to their actions. CONSISITANTLY. So what if you’re tired? Quit your whining and RAISE YOUR CHILDREN or don't bother having them at all.
Posted by: piratesrun
Posted on: 2002-11-18 15:09:09
One of these days this kid will learn the lesson of not hitting when a bigger, stronger kid punches him back! He'll think twice before he ever hits another kid again...HAHAHA!! OY...All the psychology in the world wont fix what a good butt kicking will.
I have four children and they are well-behaved and basically good kids. Sure they drive me nuts sometimes, they rebel, they don’t want to listen or do their chores and even lie. But quite frankly that is a part of growing up that we, as parents must address consistently in order to break bad habits in behavior. Most parents ignore or make excuses for their kid’s behavior, then wonder why that “stage” there in, never seems to be grown out of. I see parents at the stores with kids screaming, throwing fits, throwing items, talking’ back and I can’t tell you how totally amazed I am that most parents are un phased and just let it go. My kid would be in the car, back home, and in his room in a New York minute!
Children are not only coddled WAY TOO much these days they are over protected by ignorant parents who DO NOT instill lessons that teach their children their are consequences to their actions. CONSISITANTLY. So what if you’re tired? Quit your whining and RAISE YOUR CHILDREN or don't bother having them at all.
hitting back
Posted by: rbrooks
Posted on: 2002-11-18 17:13:33
it seems that the parents of these children never had the word no enforced. they passed that on to their children. not only should spanking be returned, it should be allowed in school and the public as well. if you can't control your children, no problem. i can.
Posted by: rbrooks
Posted on: 2002-11-18 17:13:33
it seems that the parents of these children never had the word no enforced. they passed that on to their children. not only should spanking be returned, it should be allowed in school and the public as well. if you can't control your children, no problem. i can.
Hitting/Meanness
Posted by: hardball
Posted on: 2002-11-18 15:33:41
I see the actions when the kids got into a fight wow and I was loke wow, my son is like that when he gets angry! I find it hard to believe that when school calls and says my son did this and that and I'm like no way I have no problems like that at home not bad anyways but he does get mad easy and will hit sware or protect himself in anyway he can. I try to get to hm b4 these things happened, I try to stay ahead of him and on to of these things, we as parents try our best to make sure our kids know the right things do the right things and make the right choices. watching todays show made me realize we need to go over this with them role play with them show them over and over to help them understand this does happened in real life...Dr. Phils show is the best on TV for family support I watch the show everyday as I can.
Posted by: hardball
Posted on: 2002-11-18 15:33:41
I see the actions when the kids got into a fight wow and I was loke wow, my son is like that when he gets angry! I find it hard to believe that when school calls and says my son did this and that and I'm like no way I have no problems like that at home not bad anyways but he does get mad easy and will hit sware or protect himself in anyway he can. I try to get to hm b4 these things happened, I try to stay ahead of him and on to of these things, we as parents try our best to make sure our kids know the right things do the right things and make the right choices. watching todays show made me realize we need to go over this with them role play with them show them over and over to help them understand this does happened in real life...Dr. Phils show is the best on TV for family support I watch the show everyday as I can.
How to protect my grandson
Posted by: custardcak
Posted on: 2005-03-09 19:29:55
My grandson has been treatened by another Dad's classmate as he & the other kid-both of them age 12 are fighting.Last friday,he was beaten up in school by the other kid.We did not know that they both had a previous fight before in school.I told my grandson - never fight back & stay away from that kid - that is the reason why that friday he just let the boy punched & kicked him.DR.Phil - what upsets me is the Principal tried to have both students make up,but the Daddy of the other kid kept saying that he believe his son.That boy was seen by their classmates bothering my grandson all the time -he was seen by 1 of the teachers beating my grandson after lunch time.How can we handle this situation ? They used to be family friend of my daughter.Isn't it that any adult has "NO" right to terrify another kid-that Dad scared my grandson at another classmates party last Feb.19 that made him cry. My family believe that we should patch up all differences between the 2 boys - but the other family kept saying,they believe their son.Please help us..........Thank you Dr. Phil............Worried Grandma
Posted by: custardcak
Posted on: 2005-03-09 19:29:55
My grandson has been treatened by another Dad's classmate as he & the other kid-both of them age 12 are fighting.Last friday,he was beaten up in school by the other kid.We did not know that they both had a previous fight before in school.I told my grandson - never fight back & stay away from that kid - that is the reason why that friday he just let the boy punched & kicked him.DR.Phil - what upsets me is the Principal tried to have both students make up,but the Daddy of the other kid kept saying that he believe his son.That boy was seen by their classmates bothering my grandson all the time -he was seen by 1 of the teachers beating my grandson after lunch time.How can we handle this situation ? They used to be family friend of my daughter.Isn't it that any adult has "NO" right to terrify another kid-that Dad scared my grandson at another classmates party last Feb.19 that made him cry. My family believe that we should patch up all differences between the 2 boys - but the other family kept saying,they believe their son.Please help us..........Thank you Dr. Phil............Worried Grandma
mason's parents
Posted by: maxbritney
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:22:31
I totally agree with the parent, "thparent", I think that mother needs a reality check. My children are older, but I can still remember when they were over their friends houses or at birthday parties, the parents always made comments that my children were very well mannered and well behaved. It all starts from the home, that is where alot of these children's behaviors come from. Some I agree are from tv, but that is the parent's responsibility to control and watch what their children are watching on tv.
Posted by: maxbritney
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:22:31
I totally agree with the parent, "thparent", I think that mother needs a reality check. My children are older, but I can still remember when they were over their friends houses or at birthday parties, the parents always made comments that my children were very well mannered and well behaved. It all starts from the home, that is where alot of these children's behaviors come from. Some I agree are from tv, but that is the parent's responsibility to control and watch what their children are watching on tv.
hitting girls is a no-no??
Posted by: nasusha
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:29:22
No, not just hitting girls. It isn;t ok for him to throw toys or hit boys. That kid needs to be taught to play nice with everyone. I have 2 boys and they are both wild but I never stop teaching them the right way to do things. IT is a daily battle but I do believe they can be taught.
Posted by: nasusha
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:29:22
No, not just hitting girls. It isn;t ok for him to throw toys or hit boys. That kid needs to be taught to play nice with everyone. I have 2 boys and they are both wild but I never stop teaching them the right way to do things. IT is a daily battle but I do believe they can be taught.
Guns Not Bad
Posted by: mrsbauck
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:04:41
I really think it's time for parents to realize the TRUTH about guns. I am a gun owner. My kids will know all about them. I want to protect my children from getting hurt by them. The reason why the children in this experiment were so "careless" with them is because their parents never showed them what they are and what they do.
What would have happened if one of the children in the room had a mom and dad who own and PROPERLY STORE guns? Perhaps the child would have kept the others away from them. Perhaps. We don't know. I don't think, though, that the child would have picked it up and started pointing it all over the room saying, "I know what I'm doing, I do this all the time." I know that because children who live around guns know that they are not toys, they are not something to be flailed around carelessly, and they know that they should STOP! DON'T TOUCH! and TELL AN ADULT just like the NRA's program teaches.
Posted by: mrsbauck
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:04:41
I really think it's time for parents to realize the TRUTH about guns. I am a gun owner. My kids will know all about them. I want to protect my children from getting hurt by them. The reason why the children in this experiment were so "careless" with them is because their parents never showed them what they are and what they do.
What would have happened if one of the children in the room had a mom and dad who own and PROPERLY STORE guns? Perhaps the child would have kept the others away from them. Perhaps. We don't know. I don't think, though, that the child would have picked it up and started pointing it all over the room saying, "I know what I'm doing, I do this all the time." I know that because children who live around guns know that they are not toys, they are not something to be flailed around carelessly, and they know that they should STOP! DON'T TOUCH! and TELL AN ADULT just like the NRA's program teaches.
Guns not bad
Posted by: maxbritney
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:27:48
I have a 15 year son, that when he was 2 years old, he went into my sister's purse, grabbed her 25 out of her purse, when she came out of the bathroom, he was pointing at her, and said freeze! We knew then that like anything, we needed to teach him about guns. Today he is a major hunter, he totally respects guns, because, it like teaching your children not to touch the stove, because they could get burned on it. If you have guns in your home, then you need to teach your child, so then they DO NOT become a statistis in the world! He appreciates and understand guns to this day, and it all has to do with teaching your child and taking the responsibility behind it!
Posted by: maxbritney
Posted on: 2002-11-18 11:27:48
I have a 15 year son, that when he was 2 years old, he went into my sister's purse, grabbed her 25 out of her purse, when she came out of the bathroom, he was pointing at her, and said freeze! We knew then that like anything, we needed to teach him about guns. Today he is a major hunter, he totally respects guns, because, it like teaching your children not to touch the stove, because they could get burned on it. If you have guns in your home, then you need to teach your child, so then they DO NOT become a statistis in the world! He appreciates and understand guns to this day, and it all has to do with teaching your child and taking the responsibility behind it!
guns
Posted by: rbrooks
Posted on: 2002-11-18 17:19:53
i agree. i was taught about guns at a very young age, as was my son. we knew what a gun was capable of from first hand experience. we also knew what "no" meant and the consequences of not adhering to that no. time out, talking or standing in a corner only goes so far.
Posted by: rbrooks
Posted on: 2002-11-18 17:19:53
i agree. i was taught about guns at a very young age, as was my son. we knew what a gun was capable of from first hand experience. we also knew what "no" meant and the consequences of not adhering to that no. time out, talking or standing in a corner only goes so far.
Posted by: nedwreck
Posted on: 2002-11-18 23:06:37
I just gotta say that neary anything can be devastating when children are involved.. would one not teach thier child about sissors? knives? stairs? etc...???
EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN PEOPLE! Even if you don't like guns (which is fine), don't let your child grow without UNDERSTANDING of what they are, and what they can do.
Would you let your child into a car with the keys, without preparing them first? Would you leave a knife or a bottle of bleach around your 3 year old kid? Of course not!
My Two Cents!
Larry Elder addresses Dr. Phil
Posted by: gwalchmai
Posted on: 2002-12-02 10:00:44
Larry Elder seems to think you're full of baloney, Phil. (see the following link)
http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=29811
I agree. Why all the lies?
Posted by: gwalchmai
Posted on: 2002-12-02 10:00:44
Larry Elder seems to think you're full of baloney, Phil. (see the following link)
http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=29811
I agree. Why all the lies?
