10/02 Body Image
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Posted by: coolbrze22
Posted on: 2002-10-02 08:37:57
i am a 23 year old aspiring model, currently signed on with a small agency out of Grand Rapids, servicing all of south west michigan. while watching your show i became confused as to why Cortney didn't believe she was attractive? i realize it had to do with quite a few factors but i just wanted to say that i thought she was beautiful in every sense of the word. she not only had the looks on the outside but she had all the qualities and attributes that any man would want from a woman on the inside. keep you head up high Cortney!!
your Michigan pal,
rich
Posted by: coolbrze22
Posted on: 2002-10-02 08:37:57
i am a 23 year old aspiring model, currently signed on with a small agency out of Grand Rapids, servicing all of south west michigan. while watching your show i became confused as to why Cortney didn't believe she was attractive? i realize it had to do with quite a few factors but i just wanted to say that i thought she was beautiful in every sense of the word. she not only had the looks on the outside but she had all the qualities and attributes that any man would want from a woman on the inside. keep you head up high Cortney!!
your Michigan pal,
rich
Beauty
Posted by: vstapleton
Posted on: 2002-10-02 15:48:35
Listening to this teen talk about what is wrong with her, I realize she isn't talking about anything that requires surgery.
As an adult woman, we just have the experience to know how to downplay the features we dislike and accentuate the better ones with makeup, padding and style. That mom needs to understand that just saying you are beautiful isn't cutting it, the daughter sees through it. However if she would say that followed by, but models fix the things they don't like without surgery, and we'll teach you the same techniques until you grow into your features. Every model has flaws, they are just concealed and airbrushed out. She also needs to realize her looks are going to continue to change until she is an adult and her features are set. Surgery now could wreck the beauty that could happen naturally later on. A haircut that is more appealing to her facial shape could help immensely, not to mention makeup to teach her how to appear to have fuller lips. My goodness, how many of us women appear to have C breasts, but when that miracle bra comes off, we too may be a small B. Guys don't know the difference until we show them, and you better know him well enough to know he would value you in a training bra, because there are always going to be girls with even bigger breasts if that is how he is going to judge you. Some girls at 15 or 16 are as ugly as a mud fence, but at 21 or 22 they are beautiful, they just needed time to learn how to pull it all together.
Posted by: vstapleton
Posted on: 2002-10-02 15:48:35
Listening to this teen talk about what is wrong with her, I realize she isn't talking about anything that requires surgery.
As an adult woman, we just have the experience to know how to downplay the features we dislike and accentuate the better ones with makeup, padding and style. That mom needs to understand that just saying you are beautiful isn't cutting it, the daughter sees through it. However if she would say that followed by, but models fix the things they don't like without surgery, and we'll teach you the same techniques until you grow into your features. Every model has flaws, they are just concealed and airbrushed out. She also needs to realize her looks are going to continue to change until she is an adult and her features are set. Surgery now could wreck the beauty that could happen naturally later on. A haircut that is more appealing to her facial shape could help immensely, not to mention makeup to teach her how to appear to have fuller lips. My goodness, how many of us women appear to have C breasts, but when that miracle bra comes off, we too may be a small B. Guys don't know the difference until we show them, and you better know him well enough to know he would value you in a training bra, because there are always going to be girls with even bigger breasts if that is how he is going to judge you. Some girls at 15 or 16 are as ugly as a mud fence, but at 21 or 22 they are beautiful, they just needed time to learn how to pull it all together.
I Agree Totally
Posted by: nylnasus
Posted on: 2002-10-02 18:14:21
I agree with this totally. That girl needs to learn the proper way to apply makeup and to find a hairstyle that compliments her. Few of us have the classic look of a beauty, but we have to work with what we have, and that takes learning the tricks and techniques of make up. Illusion is everthing! Hopefully she will learn to appreciate that she is unique and will celebrate her own look to it's full potential.
Posted by: nylnasus
Posted on: 2002-10-02 18:14:21
I agree with this totally. That girl needs to learn the proper way to apply makeup and to find a hairstyle that compliments her. Few of us have the classic look of a beauty, but we have to work with what we have, and that takes learning the tricks and techniques of make up. Illusion is everthing! Hopefully she will learn to appreciate that she is unique and will celebrate her own look to it's full potential.
Did you stop and think
Posted by: sheena242
Posted on: 2002-10-03 13:08:16
Did you ever stop to think that the makeup people probably did her makeup on the show. And so what. She looks fine. There was nothing wrong with her appearance. Everyone still keeps focusing on her appearance despite the true subject of this discussion which is self esteem. It doesnt seem like some people are still not learning anything here. If god wanted us to be just objects then we would not be able to talk, walk, etc and so on. Or have a soul for that matter.
Posted by: sheena242
Posted on: 2002-10-03 13:08:16
Did you ever stop to think that the makeup people probably did her makeup on the show. And so what. She looks fine. There was nothing wrong with her appearance. Everyone still keeps focusing on her appearance despite the true subject of this discussion which is self esteem. It doesnt seem like some people are still not learning anything here. If god wanted us to be just objects then we would not be able to talk, walk, etc and so on. Or have a soul for that matter.
not possible
Posted by: calicopark
Posted on: 2002-10-03 14:57:38
there is no way she had her make up done by the people on the show. Impossible. A pro would have made her look much better than caked on white eyeshadow, crooked eye liner etc. I must say though the girl was very sweet and seemed to truly take the advise to heart.
Posted by: calicopark
Posted on: 2002-10-03 14:57:38
there is no way she had her make up done by the people on the show. Impossible. A pro would have made her look much better than caked on white eyeshadow, crooked eye liner etc. I must say though the girl was very sweet and seemed to truly take the advise to heart.
how cruel
Posted by: hiwwww
Posted on: 2002-10-03 16:19:09
why would you make such comments about that young girl? She was absolutely beautiful inside & out. I hope she gets the help she needs from Dr. Phil to feel good about herself.
Posted by: hiwwww
Posted on: 2002-10-03 16:19:09
why would you make such comments about that young girl? She was absolutely beautiful inside & out. I hope she gets the help she needs from Dr. Phil to feel good about herself.
Adding to Problem
Posted by: chicola
Posted on: 2002-10-04 10:41:12
The comments about the makeup just makes the point of the show.You are judging how another person looks.How she does her makeup is her personal choice.Listen to what she is saying not to what her eyeshadow looks like!
The comments you made only re-enforced her made up beliefs about herself.
Posted by: chicola
Posted on: 2002-10-04 10:41:12
The comments about the makeup just makes the point of the show.You are judging how another person looks.How she does her makeup is her personal choice.Listen to what she is saying not to what her eyeshadow looks like!
The comments you made only re-enforced her made up beliefs about herself.
ur right
Posted by: viperman
Posted on: 2002-10-04 15:04:09
just say you find her attractive and a great personality. she doesnt need the u do your hair and makeup wrong u know.
Posted by: viperman
Posted on: 2002-10-04 15:04:09
just say you find her attractive and a great personality. she doesnt need the u do your hair and makeup wrong u know.
Finally, some reason!!
Posted by: wyohos
Posted on: 2002-10-10 08:44:00
Everyone keeps talkingabout her apperance, and that is NOT WHAT MATTERS!!!! Outward appearance means nothing if what is inside is not strong and healthy. Her spirit and self esteem are the problem here. Why do you all keep talking about hair and makeup? It is narrow concernes just like those that drove her to where she is. She needs to go thru life riding on her mind, not her looks. Any man worth having around is not going to want her for how she looks. I know that personally. I don't care what I look like. I dress the way I want to, walk and talk the way I want to. I don't wear makeup, do my hair, any of that stuff. I live life to please myself, not anyone around me. That is the lesson that Dr. Phil was trying to point out. If you are happy within yourself, who cares what others think? Anyone who bases their opinions of a person on their ability to apply makeup is so shallow they do not deserve the time of day from someone who really is worth something.
Posted by: wyohos
Posted on: 2002-10-10 08:44:00
Everyone keeps talkingabout her apperance, and that is NOT WHAT MATTERS!!!! Outward appearance means nothing if what is inside is not strong and healthy. Her spirit and self esteem are the problem here. Why do you all keep talking about hair and makeup? It is narrow concernes just like those that drove her to where she is. She needs to go thru life riding on her mind, not her looks. Any man worth having around is not going to want her for how she looks. I know that personally. I don't care what I look like. I dress the way I want to, walk and talk the way I want to. I don't wear makeup, do my hair, any of that stuff. I live life to please myself, not anyone around me. That is the lesson that Dr. Phil was trying to point out. If you are happy within yourself, who cares what others think? Anyone who bases their opinions of a person on their ability to apply makeup is so shallow they do not deserve the time of day from someone who really is worth something.
You are right
Posted by: wizardgirl
Posted on: 2002-10-11 08:36:23
People overall just don't get it. Self esteem and body image problems come within side. I know I have BDD, which is a body obsession disorder.
The girl needs to do nothing with makeup, I don't even wear makeup.
Our society is playing a higher harder roll on women of all ages. Everywhere you look we are flogged with beauty, thinness and large breasts. Many don't stop to think that the Supposed "ideal" beauty that so many models, stars ect have, they have paid to look that way, or have so much makeup on you truly can't see what they look like.
Dr.Phil has the right idea with people looking from the inside out,but unfortunately that is not what society pushes and it's hard to get away from.
Posted by: wizardgirl
Posted on: 2002-10-11 08:36:23
People overall just don't get it. Self esteem and body image problems come within side. I know I have BDD, which is a body obsession disorder.
The girl needs to do nothing with makeup, I don't even wear makeup.
Our society is playing a higher harder roll on women of all ages. Everywhere you look we are flogged with beauty, thinness and large breasts. Many don't stop to think that the Supposed "ideal" beauty that so many models, stars ect have, they have paid to look that way, or have so much makeup on you truly can't see what they look like.
Dr.Phil has the right idea with people looking from the inside out,but unfortunately that is not what society pushes and it's hard to get away from.
you hit it on the nose
Posted by: e_orac
Posted on: 2002-12-20 23:58:13
i totally agree with you, sheena. its not about changing her appearance on the outside. its about feeling it on inside. if you really feel on inside that you are beautiful then that shines outward. if you have that on the inside it doesnt matter how you apply makeup or if you wear designer clothes. to know your are beautiful on the inside is real beauty. no one and nothing can take that away from you (not getting older or not having money, etc.)
Posted by: e_orac
Posted on: 2002-12-20 23:58:13
i totally agree with you, sheena. its not about changing her appearance on the outside. its about feeling it on inside. if you really feel on inside that you are beautiful then that shines outward. if you have that on the inside it doesnt matter how you apply makeup or if you wear designer clothes. to know your are beautiful on the inside is real beauty. no one and nothing can take that away from you (not getting older or not having money, etc.)
I agree
Posted by: elizkim
Posted on: 2002-10-03 18:50:57
However, we don't have the right to judge other people. Remember,"PEOPLE WHO JUDGE DON'T MATTER,PEOPLE WHO MATTER DON'T JUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Posted by: elizkim
Posted on: 2002-10-03 18:50:57
However, we don't have the right to judge other people. Remember,"PEOPLE WHO JUDGE DON'T MATTER,PEOPLE WHO MATTER DON'T JUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Totally agree
Posted by: bsgood
Posted on: 2002-10-02 18:38:22
I totally agree with 1.1 and 1.1.1!
I am a 56 yr. man. I work at home; very early hours and finish work at 1 PM, so I get a chance to see most of the "good" afternoon talk shows. This kid, Cortney - I can sympathize with her. I too was a gangly, skinny teenager in high school with a pretty good sized nose an ears that did not like being too close to my skull. I spent way too much time looking in the mirror at that mountain of flesh in the front of my face and the wings on the side of my head. Then one day for some reason, I decided to stop looking so closely, let my hair grow thicker to cover my ears and, VOILA, no more self-consciousness about the nose and ears.
I think what Cortney needs is what I see on many of the other talk shows - a good make-over. Her hair(hair-line)is beautiful but it probably accents her nose a bit too much and somebody should tell her not to mimick her friends make-up styles(I'm guessing at that). She's got a terrific figure. She should remember that most teenagers still have some "babyfat" until their 18 or 20 and she, like most teenagers, will grow out of it if she takes good care of her body, diet-wise and excersize-wise. She should take a look at some of her popular female (and male)models and show business idles when they were younger, teenagers. She's got many of them beat by a mile. The problem with teenage girls today is that they think that they HAVE to have a boyfriend. If they try too hard - chase after them - they will run
Posted by: bsgood
Posted on: 2002-10-02 18:38:22
I totally agree with 1.1 and 1.1.1!
I am a 56 yr. man. I work at home; very early hours and finish work at 1 PM, so I get a chance to see most of the "good" afternoon talk shows. This kid, Cortney - I can sympathize with her. I too was a gangly, skinny teenager in high school with a pretty good sized nose an ears that did not like being too close to my skull. I spent way too much time looking in the mirror at that mountain of flesh in the front of my face and the wings on the side of my head. Then one day for some reason, I decided to stop looking so closely, let my hair grow thicker to cover my ears and, VOILA, no more self-consciousness about the nose and ears.
I think what Cortney needs is what I see on many of the other talk shows - a good make-over. Her hair(hair-line)is beautiful but it probably accents her nose a bit too much and somebody should tell her not to mimick her friends make-up styles(I'm guessing at that). She's got a terrific figure. She should remember that most teenagers still have some "babyfat" until their 18 or 20 and she, like most teenagers, will grow out of it if she takes good care of her body, diet-wise and excersize-wise. She should take a look at some of her popular female (and male)models and show business idles when they were younger, teenagers. She's got many of them beat by a mile. The problem with teenage girls today is that they think that they HAVE to have a boyfriend. If they try too hard - chase after them - they will run
Well said
Posted by: fiestabeth
Posted on: 2002-10-02 18:47:25
After watching the show, I wanted to say the exact same thing. Cortney is beautiful, and with a few simple tricks, she can downplay the things she doesn't especially like about her features. Her face is long and oval, and her haircut accentuates that. A chin length bob with long layered bangs would completely change her look, and lightening up on the eye makeup and using a darker color on her lips would make her eyes look smaller and her lips seem bigger. There are so many tricks to learn. I personally am very small chested but have a big bottom so I wear dark colors on bottom and brighter ones on top to pull attention upward. And I am heavier than I would like to be so I keep my hairstyle shorter because long hair tends to weigh you down. People always think I am about twenty pounds lighter than I really am and it's all just an illusion, as are most of the pictures in magazines! Dr. Phil should send Cortney over to Oprah for a professional makeover.
Posted by: fiestabeth
Posted on: 2002-10-02 18:47:25
After watching the show, I wanted to say the exact same thing. Cortney is beautiful, and with a few simple tricks, she can downplay the things she doesn't especially like about her features. Her face is long and oval, and her haircut accentuates that. A chin length bob with long layered bangs would completely change her look, and lightening up on the eye makeup and using a darker color on her lips would make her eyes look smaller and her lips seem bigger. There are so many tricks to learn. I personally am very small chested but have a big bottom so I wear dark colors on bottom and brighter ones on top to pull attention upward. And I am heavier than I would like to be so I keep my hairstyle shorter because long hair tends to weigh you down. People always think I am about twenty pounds lighter than I really am and it's all just an illusion, as are most of the pictures in magazines! Dr. Phil should send Cortney over to Oprah for a professional makeover.
YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT!!!
Posted by: mariejoy
Posted on: 2002-10-02 19:10:43
That may be fine and well for you (I am assuming that you're whole self-identity doesn't depend on your looks), but Cortney has deeper issues going on here. An outer makeover isn't going to do her a bit of good. She needs an inner makeover. This girl is convinced that her entire existence is dependant upon how she looks on the outside. I'm glad your tips have worked for you. That's awesome! Just please, look a little deeper into what this girl was really crying about today--not her looks, but her lack of self-acceptance (and lack of FEELING love and acceptance from her father).
Posted by: mariejoy
Posted on: 2002-10-02 19:10:43
That may be fine and well for you (I am assuming that you're whole self-identity doesn't depend on your looks), but Cortney has deeper issues going on here. An outer makeover isn't going to do her a bit of good. She needs an inner makeover. This girl is convinced that her entire existence is dependant upon how she looks on the outside. I'm glad your tips have worked for you. That's awesome! Just please, look a little deeper into what this girl was really crying about today--not her looks, but her lack of self-acceptance (and lack of FEELING love and acceptance from her father).
It's the Inside she needs help with
Posted by: cynomin
Posted on: 2002-10-02 21:04:49
I totally agree with mariejoy. As I was sitting there today watching the show, the comments Dr. Phil was making to Courtney were comments that I can use for myself. However, I, like Courtney have a deeper issue, and it is inside of me, as it is inside of her. She is a wonderful teenager, and I hope my kids grow up to be as beautiful underneath their skin. Today there is so much emphasis on what "looks" good, and "who" looks good, and it seems like there is a black and white line to cross there, you have to be exact 36C, 26, 34. I mean really, not many women are built like that. I know that I used to be anorexic, and then I had my children, but those issues I had then I still carry with me today, body image is constantly on my mind, and I have gone to therapy since 1995 to learn to love myself. I am not all the way there yet, but I try my best each and every day to think about (what *I* like, enjoy wearing, etc...) All of it is very exhausting, and you have to work at it daily until it becomes second nature to you. It will take Courtney some time, and while suggestions of a make over are mentioned in a lot of these comments, I think if Courtney were to read what is all been posted about changing her hair, makeup etc., she would definately feel more inferior, more stressed about how she looks...love her for her, let her be just that...HERSELF!
Posted by: cynomin
Posted on: 2002-10-02 21:04:49
I totally agree with mariejoy. As I was sitting there today watching the show, the comments Dr. Phil was making to Courtney were comments that I can use for myself. However, I, like Courtney have a deeper issue, and it is inside of me, as it is inside of her. She is a wonderful teenager, and I hope my kids grow up to be as beautiful underneath their skin. Today there is so much emphasis on what "looks" good, and "who" looks good, and it seems like there is a black and white line to cross there, you have to be exact 36C, 26, 34. I mean really, not many women are built like that. I know that I used to be anorexic, and then I had my children, but those issues I had then I still carry with me today, body image is constantly on my mind, and I have gone to therapy since 1995 to learn to love myself. I am not all the way there yet, but I try my best each and every day to think about (what *I* like, enjoy wearing, etc...) All of it is very exhausting, and you have to work at it daily until it becomes second nature to you. It will take Courtney some time, and while suggestions of a make over are mentioned in a lot of these comments, I think if Courtney were to read what is all been posted about changing her hair, makeup etc., she would definately feel more inferior, more stressed about how she looks...love her for her, let her be just that...HERSELF!
cynomin- It's not the package
Posted by: nativetex
Posted on: 2002-10-03 01:16:08
You were so right about fixing that which is
broken within. I recently read an article in
Vanity Fair about Elizabeth Hurley (Aug '02)
and friends asserted that she truly does not
belief she is beautiful. It seems that her
constant concern and insecurity about her
outside self became a contentious issue with
the father of her son, and he "got tired of
waiting for her". Her sister was always the
beautiful one and she got no attention, so
even though she shot up to 5'10'' and got that body, she still sees herself as the
"ugly" one that doesn't think she's good-
looking. Hard to imagine.....
Posted by: nativetex
Posted on: 2002-10-03 01:16:08
You were so right about fixing that which is
broken within. I recently read an article in
Vanity Fair about Elizabeth Hurley (Aug '02)
and friends asserted that she truly does not
belief she is beautiful. It seems that her
constant concern and insecurity about her
outside self became a contentious issue with
the father of her son, and he "got tired of
waiting for her". Her sister was always the
beautiful one and she got no attention, so
even though she shot up to 5'10'' and got that body, she still sees herself as the
"ugly" one that doesn't think she's good-
looking. Hard to imagine.....
Thanx, you are right
Posted by: cater2u
Posted on: 2002-10-04 17:31:10
Hi It's Cortney, and all those coments on how bad my makeup looked and how my hair does nothing for me only made me feel worse about myself because if all these people saw me on national TV and they all had suggestions on what else I need to fix it just adds to my insecuritys. I thank you for making me feel better and not worse! Sincerely Cortney
Posted by: cater2u
Posted on: 2002-10-04 17:31:10
Hi It's Cortney, and all those coments on how bad my makeup looked and how my hair does nothing for me only made me feel worse about myself because if all these people saw me on national TV and they all had suggestions on what else I need to fix it just adds to my insecuritys. I thank you for making me feel better and not worse! Sincerely Cortney
for cortney
Posted by: pixiegirl4
Posted on: 2002-10-05 20:11:58
Sweet Cortney! the whole time I watched you I just wanted to cry because I'm you,ten years older. A lot of people have comments about changing your image- clever suggestions but not the answer. The rest go in the opposite direction and comment about working on the inside. I am right now dealing with the pain of my past and as unpleasant, actually quite painful, I know that moving on with my life as my 'authentic self' won't happen until I discover why I am the way I am and how my life experiences have made me who I am. I have HATED my appearance since I was a teen and encounters with thoughtless, shallow boys and men have made me value myself even less because I gave the power over to them and their oppinions. What has gone on on the inside has manifested itself on the outside and for such a long time that I now have a lot of work on my hands to get better and to learn how to like who I am before I can expect anyone else to. The handful of jerks I've been hurt by DO NOT represent all men and you have to keep reminding yourself that the one guy who jilted you thankfully doesn't represent all the ment you will encounter in your lifetime. Follow your heart in what you choose to do for a living, make it something you love. I think you have a gift for listening and comforting and supporting people. You're a sypathetic soul and you have so much to give to others and thats a very important quality and can serve you well if your career choice involves those personal skills. Imagine
Posted by: pixiegirl4
Posted on: 2002-10-05 20:11:58
Sweet Cortney! the whole time I watched you I just wanted to cry because I'm you,ten years older. A lot of people have comments about changing your image- clever suggestions but not the answer. The rest go in the opposite direction and comment about working on the inside. I am right now dealing with the pain of my past and as unpleasant, actually quite painful, I know that moving on with my life as my 'authentic self' won't happen until I discover why I am the way I am and how my life experiences have made me who I am. I have HATED my appearance since I was a teen and encounters with thoughtless, shallow boys and men have made me value myself even less because I gave the power over to them and their oppinions. What has gone on on the inside has manifested itself on the outside and for such a long time that I now have a lot of work on my hands to get better and to learn how to like who I am before I can expect anyone else to. The handful of jerks I've been hurt by DO NOT represent all men and you have to keep reminding yourself that the one guy who jilted you thankfully doesn't represent all the ment you will encounter in your lifetime. Follow your heart in what you choose to do for a living, make it something you love. I think you have a gift for listening and comforting and supporting people. You're a sypathetic soul and you have so much to give to others and thats a very important quality and can serve you well if your career choice involves those personal skills. Imagine
Dads, are you listening?
Posted by: lallia
Posted on: 2002-10-03 15:31:24
You are absolutely right - Cortney's big issue, front and centre, is her lack of loving relationship with her father and step father. We cannot underestimate the importance of a loving, nurturing relationship with Dad in a girl's life. Cortney probably unconsciously picked that boyfriend who treated her scabbily because she unconsciously expects that from a guy. Dads, you are so important!
Posted by: lallia
Posted on: 2002-10-03 15:31:24
You are absolutely right - Cortney's big issue, front and centre, is her lack of loving relationship with her father and step father. We cannot underestimate the importance of a loving, nurturing relationship with Dad in a girl's life. Cortney probably unconsciously picked that boyfriend who treated her scabbily because she unconsciously expects that from a guy. Dads, you are so important!
