10/29 Ask Dr. Phil
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9If they trust their spouse!!!
Posted by: scout_mom
Posted on: 2002-10-29 09:20:22
Oh lady, let me tell you ... I trust my husband, but I don't want any women to think they can get my husbands attention. A women flirting around my husband is like she thinks she can take anything away from me let alone my husbands attention! I know that I don't have to worry about Joel. The poor man has always been sensitive to letting me know that I don't have to worry about his faithfulness.
But I don't like women challenging ME! That is my take on the flirt. I do understand that she doesn't understand how women react to her. I do understand that she might be doing it with out knowing she is flirting. I understand that she might not be directing it at all men in the place. But it sure gets the attention of everyone... men and women... and the result is different.
She needs to find a few strong women as friends that can tell her when to tone down. I had a girlfriend that needed those reminders several years ago. She can still be confident, she just needs to control the effect.
Posted by: scout_mom
Posted on: 2002-10-29 09:20:22
Oh lady, let me tell you ... I trust my husband, but I don't want any women to think they can get my husbands attention. A women flirting around my husband is like she thinks she can take anything away from me let alone my husbands attention! I know that I don't have to worry about Joel. The poor man has always been sensitive to letting me know that I don't have to worry about his faithfulness.
But I don't like women challenging ME! That is my take on the flirt. I do understand that she doesn't understand how women react to her. I do understand that she might be doing it with out knowing she is flirting. I understand that she might not be directing it at all men in the place. But it sure gets the attention of everyone... men and women... and the result is different.
She needs to find a few strong women as friends that can tell her when to tone down. I had a girlfriend that needed those reminders several years ago. She can still be confident, she just needs to control the effect.
Flirt
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2002-10-29 09:39:15
Um, I'm pretty sure this woman who loves to flirt knows exactly what she's doing. I'm not buying the 'innocent little me' routine. What I want to know is why she doesn't seem to care that her actions are offensive to other women. If she needs constant reassurance, then find a man of her own that gives her what she needs. She's very pretty, yes, but what else sdoes she have to offer after the peripherals are done with?
Posted by: nasale
Posted on: 2002-10-29 09:39:15
Um, I'm pretty sure this woman who loves to flirt knows exactly what she's doing. I'm not buying the 'innocent little me' routine. What I want to know is why she doesn't seem to care that her actions are offensive to other women. If she needs constant reassurance, then find a man of her own that gives her what she needs. She's very pretty, yes, but what else sdoes she have to offer after the peripherals are done with?
Flirt
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2002-10-29 10:58:15
There are other woman that find clingy wives are equally offensive. We need to accept women and their differences, men do it all the time. Lack of acceptance divides women, we need to stick together be less judgemental.
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2002-10-29 10:58:15
There are other woman that find clingy wives are equally offensive. We need to accept women and their differences, men do it all the time. Lack of acceptance divides women, we need to stick together be less judgemental.
FLIRT
Posted by: entreat
Posted on: 2002-10-29 11:39:07
If a woman is willing to put herself out there in the public eye, then she needs to be willing to accept what comes with it...You reap what you sow...Women who flirt are looking for something...Attention comes to mind...Hey look at me, aren't I great...and whatever comes after that is the reaping process...Soooo...Sow what you want to reap...I think a woman who flirts is needy...She needs some positive help...she needs someone who CARES...from someone who cares...
Posted by: entreat
Posted on: 2002-10-29 11:39:07
If a woman is willing to put herself out there in the public eye, then she needs to be willing to accept what comes with it...You reap what you sow...Women who flirt are looking for something...Attention comes to mind...Hey look at me, aren't I great...and whatever comes after that is the reaping process...Soooo...Sow what you want to reap...I think a woman who flirts is needy...She needs some positive help...she needs someone who CARES...from someone who cares...
To Nasale
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-10-29 15:15:48
Do you think maybe that she is obsessed with getting male approval and needs that more than anything to validate herself? Also, we are a Barbie-Doll-image society and maybe this is her "fix." I don't buy the fact that she doesn't know it, but I do buy the fact that she better forget about Robin's man if she wants to stay healthy. lol
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-10-29 15:15:48
Do you think maybe that she is obsessed with getting male approval and needs that more than anything to validate herself? Also, we are a Barbie-Doll-image society and maybe this is her "fix." I don't buy the fact that she doesn't know it, but I do buy the fact that she better forget about Robin's man if she wants to stay healthy. lol
Flirt
Posted by: sport123
Posted on: 2002-10-29 18:37:26
I think Dr.Phil was duped by this person.She was there to get her face on tv,she knows what and why she does what she is doing,It is called attention.I can't beleive this was a topic at all.Ithink she shold get over herself and get a life,looks fade away and your left with nothing .
Posted by: sport123
Posted on: 2002-10-29 18:37:26
I think Dr.Phil was duped by this person.She was there to get her face on tv,she knows what and why she does what she is doing,It is called attention.I can't beleive this was a topic at all.Ithink she shold get over herself and get a life,looks fade away and your left with nothing .
To sport123
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-10-29 21:07:00
Gee, "honey" you must not have looked at society. We are all left with too many things like, liver spots, vericose veins, wrinkles, bad eye sight, poor hearing, vascular disease, lung diseases etc. Just try to keep smiling--laugh lines are a pleasant wrinkle Patsy
Posted by: patsy_gal
Posted on: 2002-10-29 21:07:00
Gee, "honey" you must not have looked at society. We are all left with too many things like, liver spots, vericose veins, wrinkles, bad eye sight, poor hearing, vascular disease, lung diseases etc. Just try to keep smiling--laugh lines are a pleasant wrinkle Patsy
Flirt
Posted by: markperrin
Posted on: 2002-11-02 19:01:10
I agree with you 100% and I think Dr Phil let us down right in front of his wife! Unbelievable!!
Posted by: markperrin
Posted on: 2002-11-02 19:01:10
I agree with you 100% and I think Dr Phil let us down right in front of his wife! Unbelievable!!
Flirt
Posted by: tiapet
Posted on: 2002-10-30 14:30:14
I agree with nasale...I don't think for one second that the flirt featured on Dr. Phil doesn't realize what she is doing and how it affects the men and women around her. I have to commend you Dr. Phil - in my opinion you went very easy on her during the show...I think she "gets" it...did you?!?!?! I'd hate to think she pulled the wool over your eyes.
Gotta tell you...love your show and watch it on a daily basis...well almost...keep up the wonderful work!
Posted by: tiapet
Posted on: 2002-10-30 14:30:14
I agree with nasale...I don't think for one second that the flirt featured on Dr. Phil doesn't realize what she is doing and how it affects the men and women around her. I have to commend you Dr. Phil - in my opinion you went very easy on her during the show...I think she "gets" it...did you?!?!?! I'd hate to think she pulled the wool over your eyes.
Gotta tell you...love your show and watch it on a daily basis...well almost...keep up the wonderful work!
judgemental
Posted by: mcohen
Posted on: 2002-10-30 18:29:15
to me the question is...why are the women so judgemental? perhaps if women extended themselves to be friendly instead of being so insecure they can't be extend themselves to an attractive woman..perhaps she wouldn't get her affirmation elsewhere.
stop being so tough on each other women. it looks ugly.
by the way, i'm a woman as well. and i'm always entertained to see a woman enjoy her power and her attractiveness. only women who are jealous and judgemental and insecure in their relationships wouldn't be.
Posted by: mcohen
Posted on: 2002-10-30 18:29:15
to me the question is...why are the women so judgemental? perhaps if women extended themselves to be friendly instead of being so insecure they can't be extend themselves to an attractive woman..perhaps she wouldn't get her affirmation elsewhere.
stop being so tough on each other women. it looks ugly.
by the way, i'm a woman as well. and i'm always entertained to see a woman enjoy her power and her attractiveness. only women who are jealous and judgemental and insecure in their relationships wouldn't be.
This opened my eyes!
Posted by: priti56
Posted on: 2002-10-31 14:54:58
This has opened my eyes. I did not define myself as a flirt, until I saw this show, I am attractive and charming (although I don't wear provocative clothes), I like talking to people and getting attention. I am a very spiritual person , but like the lady on the show I don't have many close friends....now I am wondering is it because, they thought me as a threat? I am beginning to be more cautious about opening up and grabbing attraction of men. This particular show has helped me a lot! Thanks Dr. Phil for clearing up my mind, I never tried to look it through other person's eye. I always thought what did I do wrong? Now, I have the answer! Thanks a bunch!
Posted by: priti56
Posted on: 2002-10-31 14:54:58
This has opened my eyes. I did not define myself as a flirt, until I saw this show, I am attractive and charming (although I don't wear provocative clothes), I like talking to people and getting attention. I am a very spiritual person , but like the lady on the show I don't have many close friends....now I am wondering is it because, they thought me as a threat? I am beginning to be more cautious about opening up and grabbing attraction of men. This particular show has helped me a lot! Thanks Dr. Phil for clearing up my mind, I never tried to look it through other person's eye. I always thought what did I do wrong? Now, I have the answer! Thanks a bunch!
Yea
Posted by: stefanie03
Posted on: 2003-03-26 00:03:14
She knows what she does. Just because your attractive doesnt mean you have the right to flirt with everybody. Im sure the guys you are flirting with dont think much of you either. And just because a man doesnt have a ring on his hand doent mean he isnt with someone. And by the way im sure everyone enjoyed seeing her sag bags on TV.
Posted by: stefanie03
Posted on: 2003-03-26 00:03:14
She knows what she does. Just because your attractive doesnt mean you have the right to flirt with everybody. Im sure the guys you are flirting with dont think much of you either. And just because a man doesnt have a ring on his hand doent mean he isnt with someone. And by the way im sure everyone enjoyed seeing her sag bags on TV.
scout mom
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2002-10-29 10:50:49
By your own comment The poor man has ALWAYS (more thean one time)been sensitive to letting me know I don't hasve to worry about his faithfulness. So you have had self doubt in the past? Sounds llike an issue you need to resolve
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2002-10-29 10:50:49
By your own comment The poor man has ALWAYS (more thean one time)been sensitive to letting me know I don't hasve to worry about his faithfulness. So you have had self doubt in the past? Sounds llike an issue you need to resolve
Insecure
Posted by: scout_mom
Posted on: 2002-10-29 13:24:47
I have had doubts in the past. I was married before and got a divorce because of my selfishness. I wouldn't let him have girlfriends and beat on me. He had me convinced I was the fattest, stupidest, uglyest person created. Then he told me I couldn't cook. I knew he was wrong on that and it opened my eyes that he was wrong on the other stuff. Joel knew about the problems I had in my first marriage. We knew each other in high school and college. As a matter of fact he was at my first wedding. So he does know that I had problems with not being secure. But Joel has never done anything to make me feel that way.
There was a women in his research group that had a thing for Joel. I didn't like her. Joel was always careful that she knew that he wasn't available. He often would come home from the lab rather than be in the lab when she was the only other person there. I was 6 months pregnant when we went to the group Christmas party. I told him that I didn't want to see her anywhere near him. The poor man spent the night trying to politely get away from the women. There is a joke that Joel married me for my Peach Pie. She said to another women at the party. "See, all we need to do is learn how to cook to get a man. " My responce "It's not the getting, it's the keeping."
I guess I never learned how to share *HA*.
Posted by: scout_mom
Posted on: 2002-10-29 13:24:47
I have had doubts in the past. I was married before and got a divorce because of my selfishness. I wouldn't let him have girlfriends and beat on me. He had me convinced I was the fattest, stupidest, uglyest person created. Then he told me I couldn't cook. I knew he was wrong on that and it opened my eyes that he was wrong on the other stuff. Joel knew about the problems I had in my first marriage. We knew each other in high school and college. As a matter of fact he was at my first wedding. So he does know that I had problems with not being secure. But Joel has never done anything to make me feel that way.
There was a women in his research group that had a thing for Joel. I didn't like her. Joel was always careful that she knew that he wasn't available. He often would come home from the lab rather than be in the lab when she was the only other person there. I was 6 months pregnant when we went to the group Christmas party. I told him that I didn't want to see her anywhere near him. The poor man spent the night trying to politely get away from the women. There is a joke that Joel married me for my Peach Pie. She said to another women at the party. "See, all we need to do is learn how to cook to get a man. " My responce "It's not the getting, it's the keeping."
I guess I never learned how to share *HA*.
Re: Insecure
Posted by: discopro
Posted on: 2002-10-29 14:06:52
I must disagree about the "selfishness." You see, the whole purpose of being in a romantic relationship is to make your own life better. If you can't trust the other person, then the relationship *will not* make your life better!
In this case, the selfish thing to do is to ask yourself if the relationship is fixable or not, and act on it. In other words, is it possible for you to ever trust your partner? If not, you should spare yourself some misery and get out of the unhealthy relationship.
Remember what Dr. Phil says: it's better to be happy and alone instead of sick with someone else.
Enlightened selfishness can be a good thing. Embrace it a little!
Posted by: discopro
Posted on: 2002-10-29 14:06:52
I must disagree about the "selfishness." You see, the whole purpose of being in a romantic relationship is to make your own life better. If you can't trust the other person, then the relationship *will not* make your life better!
In this case, the selfish thing to do is to ask yourself if the relationship is fixable or not, and act on it. In other words, is it possible for you to ever trust your partner? If not, you should spare yourself some misery and get out of the unhealthy relationship.
Remember what Dr. Phil says: it's better to be happy and alone instead of sick with someone else.
Enlightened selfishness can be a good thing. Embrace it a little!
selfish
Posted by: scout_mom
Posted on: 2002-10-30 07:55:17
I should have put the selfish in quotes. That is what my ex-husband told me ... that I was selfish to not let him have girlfriends. He was a sad little geek ... (what was I thinking!) Your right, it wasn't selfishness on my part. I've come thru a lot and mostly with the help of my true husband ( I was just married to the first... he never was a true husband).
Posted by: scout_mom
Posted on: 2002-10-30 07:55:17
I should have put the selfish in quotes. That is what my ex-husband told me ... that I was selfish to not let him have girlfriends. He was a sad little geek ... (what was I thinking!) Your right, it wasn't selfishness on my part. I've come thru a lot and mostly with the help of my true husband ( I was just married to the first... he never was a true husband).
response to scout mom
Posted by: hayleyanne
Posted on: 2002-11-10 13:46:08
I wouldn't phrase it in terms of it being a challenge to you personally. Instead, I think that when a woman "flirts" with another woman's husband, essentially she is being rude. It is a very classless thing to do. In addition, "flirt" is a pretty strong word, it implies someone has crossed the line from just being friendly. Don't take it personally, instead, see it for what it is: A person who is rude and who lacks class.
Posted by: hayleyanne
Posted on: 2002-11-10 13:46:08
I wouldn't phrase it in terms of it being a challenge to you personally. Instead, I think that when a woman "flirts" with another woman's husband, essentially she is being rude. It is a very classless thing to do. In addition, "flirt" is a pretty strong word, it implies someone has crossed the line from just being friendly. Don't take it personally, instead, see it for what it is: A person who is rude and who lacks class.
Trust
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2002-10-29 10:22:22
Yes I don't buy the innocent act either. However I trust my husband and believe flirting can be healthy. Woman can be their own worst enemy. Why should this girl change her identity for the sake of insecure wives. If you worry about some woman flirting with your husband you really don't trust him, thinking he may act upon it.
Posted by: cellia
Posted on: 2002-10-29 10:22:22
Yes I don't buy the innocent act either. However I trust my husband and believe flirting can be healthy. Woman can be their own worst enemy. Why should this girl change her identity for the sake of insecure wives. If you worry about some woman flirting with your husband you really don't trust him, thinking he may act upon it.
Flirting for Self Esteem and Self Worth
Posted by: entreat
Posted on: 2002-10-29 12:01:34
Flirting is not a Health or Healthy issue or a Trust issue ... Flirting is someone reaching out for someone else to notice them in a positive way...Anyone else...As long as positive vibes come back...Just somebody to tell me I'm worth something...It's about self worth..Self Esteem...Tell me I'm worthy...I don't know it myself...The girl in question NEEDS to change her identity because she is very unhappy withit herself, and in the process, she is affecting others NEGATIVELY...CONCERNED
Posted by: entreat
Posted on: 2002-10-29 12:01:34
Flirting is not a Health or Healthy issue or a Trust issue ... Flirting is someone reaching out for someone else to notice them in a positive way...Anyone else...As long as positive vibes come back...Just somebody to tell me I'm worth something...It's about self worth..Self Esteem...Tell me I'm worthy...I don't know it myself...The girl in question NEEDS to change her identity because she is very unhappy withit herself, and in the process, she is affecting others NEGATIVELY...CONCERNED
Flirting for self esteem is self destructive.
Posted by: maxyblonde
Posted on: 2002-10-29 14:17:01
entreat, I agree. In the long run a person who is a flirt will end up alone. And isn't it the woman who is a flirt and the man who is a "womanizer"? Trusting your mate has little to do with it. My personal story is my boyfriend and I split up after living with each other for a year. We are in our 50's so it's not like we didn't know what was going on.
I knew that something had changed but couldn't figure it out. The end of the story is my "good" friend is exactly like the girl on Dr. Phil's show who wears provacative clothes, is not true to her own boyfriend, and gives an impression of a "sex toy", decided that what I had was exactly what she wanted. My point is some men don't see it coming. She played both sides until she almost got me out of the picture. Luckily I woke up! We are back together and are wonderful but I watch her and other women. There are real "cats" out there who will scratch your eyes out if your not paying attention. Flirts are flirting for more reasons that self esteem. They want something.
Posted by: maxyblonde
Posted on: 2002-10-29 14:17:01
entreat, I agree. In the long run a person who is a flirt will end up alone. And isn't it the woman who is a flirt and the man who is a "womanizer"? Trusting your mate has little to do with it. My personal story is my boyfriend and I split up after living with each other for a year. We are in our 50's so it's not like we didn't know what was going on.
I knew that something had changed but couldn't figure it out. The end of the story is my "good" friend is exactly like the girl on Dr. Phil's show who wears provacative clothes, is not true to her own boyfriend, and gives an impression of a "sex toy", decided that what I had was exactly what she wanted. My point is some men don't see it coming. She played both sides until she almost got me out of the picture. Luckily I woke up! We are back together and are wonderful but I watch her and other women. There are real "cats" out there who will scratch your eyes out if your not paying attention. Flirts are flirting for more reasons that self esteem. They want something.
