08/21 Marriage Check Ups
1 | 2 | 3 | 4Tereasa's Cheating Husband
Posted by: marilynha
Posted on: 2003-05-14 09:11:46
Teresa, How I related to your story. I was married to my ex for 14 years . I thought I could trust him until I went to the doctors and learned I had a std. I was shocked hurt and angry, I always swore I would never allow a man to cheat on me but he said never again and I gave in. That day I lost so much faith in myself, he bagan working on destroying my self esteem and bagan accusing me, what I didn't know is he was doing it again. HE later said he felt it wasn't cheating if they were hookers.He said noone would want me because I had gained weight, I gave him sex all the time because he wanted it.I left after the third time I had realized he was making me feel worse about me and my kids saw it. My son picked up some of hte name calling and I thought i was hiding it. Teresa, life is so much better so less stressfull, and believe me a good woman can find a good man I did and it is great. No real fighting sex only when and if we both want it and I thought I would never trust again but I do, I thank my ex for his cheating and now I have found happiness. I know he is miserable and I wish he wasn't but he made his bed. If you ever need a friend somehow write me. YOu are going to be stronger and he is going to find the grass is not greener but you deserve respect, love and honesty. YOu go Tereasa, Take it slow and know yourself before you jump into a relationship. But it will happen because you are worth it and never doubt that.
marilynha
Posted by: marilynha
Posted on: 2003-05-14 09:11:46
Teresa, How I related to your story. I was married to my ex for 14 years . I thought I could trust him until I went to the doctors and learned I had a std. I was shocked hurt and angry, I always swore I would never allow a man to cheat on me but he said never again and I gave in. That day I lost so much faith in myself, he bagan working on destroying my self esteem and bagan accusing me, what I didn't know is he was doing it again. HE later said he felt it wasn't cheating if they were hookers.He said noone would want me because I had gained weight, I gave him sex all the time because he wanted it.I left after the third time I had realized he was making me feel worse about me and my kids saw it. My son picked up some of hte name calling and I thought i was hiding it. Teresa, life is so much better so less stressfull, and believe me a good woman can find a good man I did and it is great. No real fighting sex only when and if we both want it and I thought I would never trust again but I do, I thank my ex for his cheating and now I have found happiness. I know he is miserable and I wish he wasn't but he made his bed. If you ever need a friend somehow write me. YOu are going to be stronger and he is going to find the grass is not greener but you deserve respect, love and honesty. YOu go Tereasa, Take it slow and know yourself before you jump into a relationship. But it will happen because you are worth it and never doubt that.
marilynha
CHEATING SPOUSES
Posted by: sdlovett
Posted on: 2003-05-14 18:26:18
Tereasa, never feel alone, there are many of us out there that have had to go through infidelity by a spouse all our stories may be different but feelings the same. Even after years of living apart from my cheating spouse and now a divorce, i still have self esteem issues. Watching Dr Phils show today and seeing you and your daughter brought tears and a closeness to you even though we have never met. Just letting you know I am here if you ever need to talk with someone who has experienced some of the same things as you. I rised two sons through their teen years and am still single and struggling with many issues. Good luck to you.
Posted by: sdlovett
Posted on: 2003-05-14 18:26:18
Tereasa, never feel alone, there are many of us out there that have had to go through infidelity by a spouse all our stories may be different but feelings the same. Even after years of living apart from my cheating spouse and now a divorce, i still have self esteem issues. Watching Dr Phils show today and seeing you and your daughter brought tears and a closeness to you even though we have never met. Just letting you know I am here if you ever need to talk with someone who has experienced some of the same things as you. I rised two sons through their teen years and am still single and struggling with many issues. Good luck to you.
WAY TO GO TERESA
Posted by: 03_19_1959
Posted on: 2003-05-14 19:00:56
On December 28, 2002 my husband of 16 years and 2 children, my husband left us and then was told he had had a girlfriend for sometime (also not the first time). I went down far, suicidal, real quick but just as quickly I came back up and 5 months later I am feeling GREAT!!! I did not realize how sick I was! I am now free. Within 5 months I have developed more friendships, began working on my Master's Degree, started attending a church on a regular basis and tomorrow I am having a job interview for the job I have been waiting for most of my adult life. Tonight my 14 year old daughter told me the same that Teresa's daughter told her: "I am very proud of you." Wow!!! I also thought that no one would want me, well I was told that for years too, but you know what? I am no where ready to date anyone, I want to become a better me first in order not to have another sick relationship. I also can relate to the fact that Teresa and her daughter always did things alone, us too. Even Christmas time, not to mention he called his "girlfriend" 25 times that day. It must be something about the number 25, ha! Well I am not legally divorced yet, he is not taking care of the kids, financially and he is being very difficult-no change no change. Thank you Dr. Phil for letting me see Teresa and know that I am not alone!
Posted by: 03_19_1959
Posted on: 2003-05-14 19:00:56
On December 28, 2002 my husband of 16 years and 2 children, my husband left us and then was told he had had a girlfriend for sometime (also not the first time). I went down far, suicidal, real quick but just as quickly I came back up and 5 months later I am feeling GREAT!!! I did not realize how sick I was! I am now free. Within 5 months I have developed more friendships, began working on my Master's Degree, started attending a church on a regular basis and tomorrow I am having a job interview for the job I have been waiting for most of my adult life. Tonight my 14 year old daughter told me the same that Teresa's daughter told her: "I am very proud of you." Wow!!! I also thought that no one would want me, well I was told that for years too, but you know what? I am no where ready to date anyone, I want to become a better me first in order not to have another sick relationship. I also can relate to the fact that Teresa and her daughter always did things alone, us too. Even Christmas time, not to mention he called his "girlfriend" 25 times that day. It must be something about the number 25, ha! Well I am not legally divorced yet, he is not taking care of the kids, financially and he is being very difficult-no change no change. Thank you Dr. Phil for letting me see Teresa and know that I am not alone!
What an inspiration
Posted by: suemay77
Posted on: 2003-05-14 23:40:22
Although my husband (to my knowledge) hasn't cheated on me, I still related to Theresa and her daughter. Esp when her daughter talked about how he wouldn't do anything with her and her mom. That it was always just Theresa and her daughter. That's how it is with my daughters and me. My husband doesn't do anything with my girls and me. He is their step-dad. He barely does anything with me. He is cranky, moody, bossy, and stingy. I've tried to leave him twice, but came back to him for security. I didn't have a job when I left. Theresa, I applaud you for your courage. I'm hopeful that I will have the courage to leave soon. I now have a job to do so. When the show went to commercial, after the daughter spoke, I immediately called my daughters and appologized to them for makeing them live with such a awful step-father. Thank you to both Theresa and her daughter, for showing me the light at the end of the tunnel. It was an eye opener. SueMay
Posted by: suemay77
Posted on: 2003-05-14 23:40:22
Although my husband (to my knowledge) hasn't cheated on me, I still related to Theresa and her daughter. Esp when her daughter talked about how he wouldn't do anything with her and her mom. That it was always just Theresa and her daughter. That's how it is with my daughters and me. My husband doesn't do anything with my girls and me. He is their step-dad. He barely does anything with me. He is cranky, moody, bossy, and stingy. I've tried to leave him twice, but came back to him for security. I didn't have a job when I left. Theresa, I applaud you for your courage. I'm hopeful that I will have the courage to leave soon. I now have a job to do so. When the show went to commercial, after the daughter spoke, I immediately called my daughters and appologized to them for makeing them live with such a awful step-father. Thank you to both Theresa and her daughter, for showing me the light at the end of the tunnel. It was an eye opener. SueMay
Theresa's Cheating Husband
Posted by: corriander
Posted on: 2003-08-21 16:40:53
I know what it is like to stay in a bad relationship for children. I had an abusive, alcoholic husband and stood by him for 20 year (for our two boys). I lost all my friends because they didn't want to be around him. Even my parents said I was not the daughter they knew. Truth was he had me convinced I couldn't make it without him or his money. After 20 years I decided I could and left a $70K income for $11K. The hardest part was telling the boys I was leaving their father. Their comment was only "what took you so long". Guess what, I did make it. There were good times and bad. I lost two jobs because of cut backs, but with the help of God found another one each time. My faith in God and myself got me through it all. I was single for 15 years. That is how long it took me to recover my self-esteem and confidence and believe in myself. While on the internet one evening God sent me the man of my dreams and we have been married 4 wonderful years. I LOVE this man and all the unpleasant pieces of my life are behind me and I have only happiness now. Having faith in yourself takes time after you have been put down for years. God did not put us on the earth to be unhappy, abused, or unappreciated. A new life is exciting in its own right. Enjoy each day like it is your last and you will appreciate each one even more. You are a beautiful woman with a lovely daughter. Best of luch to you both. Corriander
Posted by: corriander
Posted on: 2003-08-21 16:40:53
I know what it is like to stay in a bad relationship for children. I had an abusive, alcoholic husband and stood by him for 20 year (for our two boys). I lost all my friends because they didn't want to be around him. Even my parents said I was not the daughter they knew. Truth was he had me convinced I couldn't make it without him or his money. After 20 years I decided I could and left a $70K income for $11K. The hardest part was telling the boys I was leaving their father. Their comment was only "what took you so long". Guess what, I did make it. There were good times and bad. I lost two jobs because of cut backs, but with the help of God found another one each time. My faith in God and myself got me through it all. I was single for 15 years. That is how long it took me to recover my self-esteem and confidence and believe in myself. While on the internet one evening God sent me the man of my dreams and we have been married 4 wonderful years. I LOVE this man and all the unpleasant pieces of my life are behind me and I have only happiness now. Having faith in yourself takes time after you have been put down for years. God did not put us on the earth to be unhappy, abused, or unappreciated. A new life is exciting in its own right. Enjoy each day like it is your last and you will appreciate each one even more. You are a beautiful woman with a lovely daughter. Best of luch to you both. Corriander
Healing a Broken Heart
Posted by: irish245
Posted on: 2003-05-14 09:52:37
Hi Everyone:
Someone mentioned on today's show that on the website, is a poem or something called "How To Mend A Broken Heart". I can't seem to find it. Can anyone help me find it please?
Kris
Posted by: irish245
Posted on: 2003-05-14 09:52:37
Hi Everyone:
Someone mentioned on today's show that on the website, is a poem or something called "How To Mend A Broken Heart". I can't seem to find it. Can anyone help me find it please?
Kris
broken heart
Posted by: crtrluvr
Posted on: 2003-05-14 11:17:24
Hi Kris,
I am Teresa and I am the one that mentioned the piece. It is called "Picking up the Pieces of Your Broken Heart" and can be found on this site under advice section relationship/sex dating/singles it is the second article listed. If you can't find it that way, just enter the title in the search in the upper right corner.
Good luck!
Teresa
Posted by: crtrluvr
Posted on: 2003-05-14 11:17:24
Hi Kris,
I am Teresa and I am the one that mentioned the piece. It is called "Picking up the Pieces of Your Broken Heart" and can be found on this site under advice section relationship/sex dating/singles it is the second article listed. If you can't find it that way, just enter the title in the search in the upper right corner.
Good luck!
Teresa
Teresa - Broken Heart
Posted by: msjudy0407
Posted on: 2003-05-14 11:44:20
Teresa, I recall your first appearance on Dr Phil. My heart ached for you and your daughter and I wondered if you'd make it out "whole". Today, I was overjoyed to see that you made it. I'm so thrilled for you and I'm grateful for the inspiration you are for so many women who find themselves in the same or similiar situation but are fearful of the change or just don't know what to do. Thank you for the beautiful example of strong womanhood. Incidentally, I'm not a young woman, but endured a 20 year marriage that was debilitating. I eventually ended it, but had I only had your strength earlier, I wouldn't have wasted 20 years that I'll never get back. God bless you and your daughter and good luck. Judy in Virginia
Posted by: msjudy0407
Posted on: 2003-05-14 11:44:20
Teresa, I recall your first appearance on Dr Phil. My heart ached for you and your daughter and I wondered if you'd make it out "whole". Today, I was overjoyed to see that you made it. I'm so thrilled for you and I'm grateful for the inspiration you are for so many women who find themselves in the same or similiar situation but are fearful of the change or just don't know what to do. Thank you for the beautiful example of strong womanhood. Incidentally, I'm not a young woman, but endured a 20 year marriage that was debilitating. I eventually ended it, but had I only had your strength earlier, I wouldn't have wasted 20 years that I'll never get back. God bless you and your daughter and good luck. Judy in Virginia
22 years of Marriage
Posted by: susie_1143
Posted on: 2003-08-22 23:49:14
Teresa, thank you so much for your courage! I have been married for 22 years and we have 2 sons that are now on their own. Several years ago I found out my husband was into porn on the internet and had an affair while at that time I had several deaths and sicknesses within my family. He swore that he would never do either again. I did forgive him since I felt that I was not giving him the attention he needed because of my family trials even though he really should have been there for me during these trials and not thinking about himself. But I didn't want to throw out 17 years of marriage on one mistake.
However, today I discovered that he was again on the internet viewing porn. With that I asked him since he broke one promise if he also was having an affair. He denied the affair but after being married for 22 years you know when someone is lying. I haven't decided what I want to do at this point since it is so recent but it certainly will not be an easy road.
I am thank God working and plan to go back to school in January to get my teacher's degree.
Thank you once again for your courage that will help me during this upcoming challenge in my marriage of 22 years.
Posted by: susie_1143
Posted on: 2003-08-22 23:49:14
Teresa, thank you so much for your courage! I have been married for 22 years and we have 2 sons that are now on their own. Several years ago I found out my husband was into porn on the internet and had an affair while at that time I had several deaths and sicknesses within my family. He swore that he would never do either again. I did forgive him since I felt that I was not giving him the attention he needed because of my family trials even though he really should have been there for me during these trials and not thinking about himself. But I didn't want to throw out 17 years of marriage on one mistake.
However, today I discovered that he was again on the internet viewing porn. With that I asked him since he broke one promise if he also was having an affair. He denied the affair but after being married for 22 years you know when someone is lying. I haven't decided what I want to do at this point since it is so recent but it certainly will not be an easy road.
I am thank God working and plan to go back to school in January to get my teacher's degree.
Thank you once again for your courage that will help me during this upcoming challenge in my marriage of 22 years.
Hi Teresa
Posted by: kmdc1000
Posted on: 2003-05-14 16:18:51
Teresa, I saw your update show today. I just had to tell you I salute you for making such a hard decision. I am also in the same situation you faced. I have only been married for 5 years (together 9) and have been thru my husbands infidelity. I have a 3 year old daughter, and have now been separated for 8 months. I am hesitating to go the next step with a divorce. Your self esteem and smile on the show today gives me courage to do the "right" thing, no matter how hard it will be. Thanks, Kathy
Posted by: kmdc1000
Posted on: 2003-05-14 16:18:51
Teresa, I saw your update show today. I just had to tell you I salute you for making such a hard decision. I am also in the same situation you faced. I have only been married for 5 years (together 9) and have been thru my husbands infidelity. I have a 3 year old daughter, and have now been separated for 8 months. I am hesitating to go the next step with a divorce. Your self esteem and smile on the show today gives me courage to do the "right" thing, no matter how hard it will be. Thanks, Kathy
Teresa/Broken Heart
Posted by: dbrandle
Posted on: 2003-05-14 23:23:52
Hi Teresa,
I saw the two shows that you were on and I could relate to you so much. I was married for eight years and during that time my husband cheated on me many times; he even gave me chlamydia. (a STD). The final blow was when he cheated on me with a former sorority sister. I tried to stay with him because of the kids, but I was like you and just couldn't do it anymore. Although it was tough at times, it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my kids. It will take time to regain your confidence but you will. My ex used to tell me that no one would want me because I was fat and had two kids. Boy was he wrong! I lost my weight and took care of myself and my kids. That was back in 1985 and although I had many friends that were men, it took me several years before I let a man back into my heart. I was in a relationship with someone for six years, but we split up last July. I can't tell you if you will be in another relationship soon, but I can tell you that this experience will make you a stronger person who values herself and will not tolerate someone who does not appreciate and respect her! I'm glad you are going back to school; I did the same thing and finished my undergraduate program and will finish my Masters in January. Take care of yourself and your daughter.....the rest will fall into place. Best of luck and never let anyone make you feel that you're not special!
DB
Posted by: dbrandle
Posted on: 2003-05-14 23:23:52
Hi Teresa,
I saw the two shows that you were on and I could relate to you so much. I was married for eight years and during that time my husband cheated on me many times; he even gave me chlamydia. (a STD). The final blow was when he cheated on me with a former sorority sister. I tried to stay with him because of the kids, but I was like you and just couldn't do it anymore. Although it was tough at times, it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my kids. It will take time to regain your confidence but you will. My ex used to tell me that no one would want me because I was fat and had two kids. Boy was he wrong! I lost my weight and took care of myself and my kids. That was back in 1985 and although I had many friends that were men, it took me several years before I let a man back into my heart. I was in a relationship with someone for six years, but we split up last July. I can't tell you if you will be in another relationship soon, but I can tell you that this experience will make you a stronger person who values herself and will not tolerate someone who does not appreciate and respect her! I'm glad you are going back to school; I did the same thing and finished my undergraduate program and will finish my Masters in January. Take care of yourself and your daughter.....the rest will fall into place. Best of luck and never let anyone make you feel that you're not special!
DB
to irish245 Healing a broken....
Posted by: capri03
Posted on: 2003-05-14 12:20:26
heart.........if you want Dr. Phils information all you need to do is go to today's show page.......and see on the right hand side of the page......in a shaded box of yellow.....RELATED LINKS in the column of help there...there it is HEALING A BROKEN HEART ...just click on that !
You will find the information there.
Does this help?
Posted by: capri03
Posted on: 2003-05-14 12:20:26
heart.........if you want Dr. Phils information all you need to do is go to today's show page.......and see on the right hand side of the page......in a shaded box of yellow.....RELATED LINKS in the column of help there...there it is HEALING A BROKEN HEART ...just click on that !
You will find the information there.
Does this help?
Thank you ...
Posted by: lilibele
Posted on: 2003-05-14 18:38:09
Hi Teresa ... I'm new to the website, and just had to comment on the show today. I am 36 yrs. old and in a similar situation -- after 10 yrs. of marriage, I asked my husband to leave on Dec. 31, 2001 ... he was not being unfaithful (there were other circumstances) ... however, it was the most difficult, yet most liberating thing I have ever done. Since then, although my financial situation is the absolute pits, I have matured, gained confidence, gone back to graduate school, and truly have become independent. Believe me, it was not an easy transition, and I still have yucky days, but I wouldn't have changed my decision. I just love Dr. Phil's "Philisms" ... I have a white board that I scribble them on when one really hits me ... today when he said "I'd rather be healthy and alone, then sick with someone else." Man, it took me years to realize that, but thank God I did!!! The one thing I'm still not ready to do is date, and haven't since my husband left ... too scary, and too much pressure. I've decided when it happens it'll happen ...
Anyways, I want to wish you all the best! You are truly inspirational, and blessed with a such a lovely, beautiful daughter ... take care, good luck with school and hang in there ... I truly believe everything happens for a reason ... :)
Posted by: lilibele
Posted on: 2003-05-14 18:38:09
Hi Teresa ... I'm new to the website, and just had to comment on the show today. I am 36 yrs. old and in a similar situation -- after 10 yrs. of marriage, I asked my husband to leave on Dec. 31, 2001 ... he was not being unfaithful (there were other circumstances) ... however, it was the most difficult, yet most liberating thing I have ever done. Since then, although my financial situation is the absolute pits, I have matured, gained confidence, gone back to graduate school, and truly have become independent. Believe me, it was not an easy transition, and I still have yucky days, but I wouldn't have changed my decision. I just love Dr. Phil's "Philisms" ... I have a white board that I scribble them on when one really hits me ... today when he said "I'd rather be healthy and alone, then sick with someone else." Man, it took me years to realize that, but thank God I did!!! The one thing I'm still not ready to do is date, and haven't since my husband left ... too scary, and too much pressure. I've decided when it happens it'll happen ...
Anyways, I want to wish you all the best! You are truly inspirational, and blessed with a such a lovely, beautiful daughter ... take care, good luck with school and hang in there ... I truly believe everything happens for a reason ... :)
Finances after you split
Posted by: ladylaughs
Posted on: 2003-05-15 13:55:12
This is for Lilibele, and all the others who have suffered financially when you got out of a relationship with an unfaithful spouse. My husband was a chronic debtor and I had lost all sense of good financial management by the time we separated. My lawyer suggested Debtors Anonymous and I went for 6 months. It turned my life around.
I am renting out bedrooms in my house, I have a full time job, I babysit on weekends, and tutor when I have time. Yes, all this keeps me busy, but 5 yrs. separated, 2 1/2 yrs. divorced, I have a mortgage on my house in my own name, I have two credit cards which I use wisely, I own a nice 4 year old car, and, best of all, my credit is impeccable. No more wondering which debtor is going to harass me next! It took 5 years, and I'm still scrimping, but it's worth it!
Posted by: ladylaughs
Posted on: 2003-05-15 13:55:12
This is for Lilibele, and all the others who have suffered financially when you got out of a relationship with an unfaithful spouse. My husband was a chronic debtor and I had lost all sense of good financial management by the time we separated. My lawyer suggested Debtors Anonymous and I went for 6 months. It turned my life around.
I am renting out bedrooms in my house, I have a full time job, I babysit on weekends, and tutor when I have time. Yes, all this keeps me busy, but 5 yrs. separated, 2 1/2 yrs. divorced, I have a mortgage on my house in my own name, I have two credit cards which I use wisely, I own a nice 4 year old car, and, best of all, my credit is impeccable. No more wondering which debtor is going to harass me next! It took 5 years, and I'm still scrimping, but it's worth it!
HEALING A BROKEN HEART
Posted by: tootiepie2
Posted on: 2003-05-15 23:03:12
HI KRIS,
I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT ALSO AND I HAVE FOUND IT. HEALING A BROKEN HEART IS NOT A POEM BUT IT IS RATHER A SHORT SUMMARY ON HOW TO HEAL A BROEKN HEART. WHEN YOU LOGG ON TO DR PHIL'S WEBSITE THERE IS A LITTLE SEARCH ENGINE SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS SITE. TYPE THE WORDS BROKEN HEART AND IT WILL COME UP.
FRIENDLY SOMEONE
Posted by: tootiepie2
Posted on: 2003-05-15 23:03:12
HI KRIS,
I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT ALSO AND I HAVE FOUND IT. HEALING A BROKEN HEART IS NOT A POEM BUT IT IS RATHER A SHORT SUMMARY ON HOW TO HEAL A BROEKN HEART. WHEN YOU LOGG ON TO DR PHIL'S WEBSITE THERE IS A LITTLE SEARCH ENGINE SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS SITE. TYPE THE WORDS BROKEN HEART AND IT WILL COME UP.
FRIENDLY SOMEONE
My Wake Up Call
Posted by: dviewd
Posted on: 2003-05-14 10:05:14
About 2 months ago, while home for a snow day in February, I saw the show on 'warring couples' and it was like seeing myself in a mirror. My long term guy and I had fought on Valentines Day and were still not speaking. I missed him so much, but didn't know how to get past this fight & until I saw the show didn't realize my role in ruining our relationship.
The day after seeing that show I decided to go to him and tell him how much I love him and that I've been fighting unfairly.
I called ahead, but got voice mail. Figured he had just run out and would be back, so I headed over. He didn't come home until 1:30 in the morning and I learned that he'd just been out with someone new! After 8 and 1/2 years of fighting, he'd finally decided we were through & thought I cared so little for him that he turned to someone new.
We talked a long time that night...I took full responsibility for my part in getting us to this horrible point. He said he still cared, but wasn't sure if we could fix things.
For the past 2 months we have talked and spent time together...he's no longer seeing her. We have a long way to go, and I'm so aware that we may never get back to where we were, but at least we're working on it. What's different now is I tell him often how much I love him and we haven't fought in these 2 months. Not that we haven't disagreed, but now my response is not to blast him, but to back off and listen to what he's really trying to say.
It's been painful to realize I might lose h
Posted by: dviewd
Posted on: 2003-05-14 10:05:14
About 2 months ago, while home for a snow day in February, I saw the show on 'warring couples' and it was like seeing myself in a mirror. My long term guy and I had fought on Valentines Day and were still not speaking. I missed him so much, but didn't know how to get past this fight & until I saw the show didn't realize my role in ruining our relationship.
The day after seeing that show I decided to go to him and tell him how much I love him and that I've been fighting unfairly.
I called ahead, but got voice mail. Figured he had just run out and would be back, so I headed over. He didn't come home until 1:30 in the morning and I learned that he'd just been out with someone new! After 8 and 1/2 years of fighting, he'd finally decided we were through & thought I cared so little for him that he turned to someone new.
We talked a long time that night...I took full responsibility for my part in getting us to this horrible point. He said he still cared, but wasn't sure if we could fix things.
For the past 2 months we have talked and spent time together...he's no longer seeing her. We have a long way to go, and I'm so aware that we may never get back to where we were, but at least we're working on it. What's different now is I tell him often how much I love him and we haven't fought in these 2 months. Not that we haven't disagreed, but now my response is not to blast him, but to back off and listen to what he's really trying to say.
It's been painful to realize I might lose h
Teresa - May 14 show
Posted by: lindabk
Posted on: 2003-05-14 10:40:14
I totally related to Teresa's follow-up today. I have been married for 13 years to a man who hasn't cheated on me, but has mentally and emotionally beaten me down. Teresa, I know that it took great courage for you not only to appear on the show the first time, but to listen and hear what Dr. Phil was telling you and coming to the realization you did. I am not in favor of divorce, but sometimes things just cannot be fixed if both people don't want to fix them. I know the road ahead of you may not be easy, but I applaud you for your courage and commitment to your beautiful daughter. I wish you nothing but happiness and success as you achieve your goals and dreams. Thank you for telling your story and being an inspiration.
Posted by: lindabk
Posted on: 2003-05-14 10:40:14
I totally related to Teresa's follow-up today. I have been married for 13 years to a man who hasn't cheated on me, but has mentally and emotionally beaten me down. Teresa, I know that it took great courage for you not only to appear on the show the first time, but to listen and hear what Dr. Phil was telling you and coming to the realization you did. I am not in favor of divorce, but sometimes things just cannot be fixed if both people don't want to fix them. I know the road ahead of you may not be easy, but I applaud you for your courage and commitment to your beautiful daughter. I wish you nothing but happiness and success as you achieve your goals and dreams. Thank you for telling your story and being an inspiration.
Teresa
Posted by: livncfaith
Posted on: 2003-05-14 12:35:10
Thank you for having the courage to get with Dr. Phil and share your story. I can truley relate to your story. Wish I could meet and talk with you. I also worked in a major Hosp. ER for many years. It is very rewarding and often very challenging. But,it will most definately give you a sence of self worth, that you can and did make a difference in a life. Thanks again for giving me my Wake-up call. Bless you both.....
Posted by: livncfaith
Posted on: 2003-05-14 12:35:10
Thank you for having the courage to get with Dr. Phil and share your story. I can truley relate to your story. Wish I could meet and talk with you. I also worked in a major Hosp. ER for many years. It is very rewarding and often very challenging. But,it will most definately give you a sence of self worth, that you can and did make a difference in a life. Thanks again for giving me my Wake-up call. Bless you both.....
Teresa
Posted by: jtaealex
Posted on: 2003-05-14 10:44:44
Please stick to your decision. If you don't feel strong enough to do it for yourself, do it for your daughter. My father has cheated on my mom countless times. She is still with him. In my lifetime I have watched a young and beautiful woman (my mother) grow old before her time. Mom is only 47. She never thought she was pretty, because my dad has always called her fat and ugly. She left my dad many times, but always went back. I love my dad, but the times we spent away from him were the brightest times in my life. I have a 13 year old brother. Now he is going through what I did. Last month mom left dad. It lasted less than one week. I wish it would stop. Being 13 is already an emotional roller coaster. I wish my mom would realize that she is adding stress to my brothers life. The weird thing is that she says she is staying for him (my brother).
Posted by: jtaealex
Posted on: 2003-05-14 10:44:44
Please stick to your decision. If you don't feel strong enough to do it for yourself, do it for your daughter. My father has cheated on my mom countless times. She is still with him. In my lifetime I have watched a young and beautiful woman (my mother) grow old before her time. Mom is only 47. She never thought she was pretty, because my dad has always called her fat and ugly. She left my dad many times, but always went back. I love my dad, but the times we spent away from him were the brightest times in my life. I have a 13 year old brother. Now he is going through what I did. Last month mom left dad. It lasted less than one week. I wish it would stop. Being 13 is already an emotional roller coaster. I wish my mom would realize that she is adding stress to my brothers life. The weird thing is that she says she is staying for him (my brother).
Teresa
Posted by: shelle_4
Posted on: 2003-05-18 13:44:11
I hope your there for you brother, as you mentioned being 13 is hard enough. With you to turn to for support will surly help him. Please don't give up on your mother obiouvsly her self esteem has been beaten down that she doesn't feel she can make it or live without your father. My mom stayed in the same situation and now he's a alcholic. She claims she loves him, and couldn't live without him. That i will never understand. Keep being supportive of her and help your little brother, he needs you the most.
Posted by: shelle_4
Posted on: 2003-05-18 13:44:11
I hope your there for you brother, as you mentioned being 13 is hard enough. With you to turn to for support will surly help him. Please don't give up on your mother obiouvsly her self esteem has been beaten down that she doesn't feel she can make it or live without your father. My mom stayed in the same situation and now he's a alcholic. She claims she loves him, and couldn't live without him. That i will never understand. Keep being supportive of her and help your little brother, he needs you the most.
